why do these boys keep finding ME?!

[LaurieP]

I know I am new here but I was at one time worried about the same thing. At the age of 18 I married a dominate personality but he was just plaine ole mean!!(lasted a whole 9 months) All my relationships fell apart till I was 21. I have an aggressive personality but something was missing. Later I found out that in my home and in my bedroom I am submissive.

Now to get to my point. At the age of 21 with a 2 yr old son I just gave up looking. Heck I didn't even know what I wanted. One night I met a man who was SO POLITE, kind and understanding. Now that was a change!!! At that point my sexual interested flew out the window.

Three months later we were married. Now its 13 yrs later, hes still polite, kind, understanding and VERY goodlooking and my DOM!!! I turned him... It was a slow process at times frustrating but being a sub at heart I had to just let him take his time.

I think what I am saying is nice guys can also have a dominate streak I found the dominance and then some!!! More then I ever pray for. I am just trying to give you some encouragement that it is possible to convert a nilla into what you prefer.

Laurie

 

[DVS]

Used to meet lots of such boys/men in my time, but once I knew what I wanted and needed, no pretty face nor charming manners were going to persuade me to even get to the bedding stage if they were not of the dominant persuasion. I felt I had to prioritise what was most important to me, and once I did, life became a lot easier and more hopeful. Fortunately for me, I got the Dom, the charm, and the looks all in one beautiful package.

Catalina

Catalina, this is very similar to my life because I found what I liked at a VERY early age. But, it did kind of backfire, too, because I also thought I was alone in how I felt, because I knew what I liked so early in life.

I think most people don't find out much about their sexual selves in their childhood years, but I did. So, I really can't relate when people have a problem "finding themselves."

Now, BB, your situation could be that the guys you meet are future Doms, and they don't even know it. Have you attempted any talking about the subject with them?

I have a female friend who is "training" under me, and she is finding more and more how kinky she really is. She is taking this new found kinkiness home to her boyfiend, who is slowly coming out of a vanilla shell of his own.

They are finding out new and exciting things in their sexual lives that they had no idea was possible. They now know they are both switches and their only problem can sometimes be who is going to be Dom and who is going to be sub.

It's still a learning curve, and my female friend is slowly opening her boyfriend's eyes to the possiblities. Maybe you need to test the waters a bit with them?

 

[DVS]

I have an aggressive personality but something was missing. Later I found out that in my home and in my bedroom I am submissive.

Actually, a lot of sexually submissive women are aggressive in the rest of their personality. I think they are by far the most fun to dominate. Their own personal power takes more taming, and that is very sexy.

I think what I am saying is nice guys can also have a dominate streak I found the dominance and then some!!! More then I ever pray for. I am just trying to give you some encouragement that it is possible to convert a nilla into what you prefer.
Laurie

Now, I agree with your point that a lot of nice guys have a dominate streak in them. After all, look at me!

But, I wonder if you are correct in what you say about turning someone or converting them into being a Dom. I don't think it is possible to convert someone into this, but what I think you are doing is opening up their eyes to something they didn't know existed and found they enjoyed after you did so.

I know many men who would never feel right whipping, spanking or using bondage in the bedroom. Of course, they are very vanilla, and quite possibly will never know the thrills of such a thing, unless some sweet female bats her lovely eyes at them and asks for it. And, even then, I wonder if some of them would take the challange. This lifestyle still has a very large stigma.

But, BB, Laurie is correct in what she says, that it's possible to "turn on" the thoughts in someone's head, but I do think those thoughts must be there in the first place to be turned on.

You can't get blood out of a turnip, and you can't get a Dom out of a true vanilla, either. Ah, but there are some you can "turn on!"

 

[shy slave]

Bunny

Had to reply & bump this thread.

I know what you mean Bunny, recently met a man who claimed to be a Dom, turned out he had just one fantasy... which was to spank someone.

I asked him if he would spank me hard enough to make me cry or if he would use a paddle, he looked terrified and has not spoken to me since...what did i say lolol.

If you mention BDSM to men who you think may have an interest in the lifestyle, they end up looking for a one-off kinky leg over with someone who does it all!!

I also end up with men who want to be my slave?????

Which bit of my name don't they understand????

Anyway thats my complaining five minutes over for now

shy slave

 

[bunny bondage]

yes, just this week i ran into a boy who said he was inexperienced but very interested in "kink". but when i told him specifically what i wanted, being spanked, roughed up, etc, he was shocked and said he could never do anything like that! i think he just had some sort of light bondage stuff in mind. *sigh*

our doms are out there somewhere, shy slave!

 

[DisGirlisNutz]

HI bunny...

There are reasons why you are attracted to men that are not Doms.... You really have to take a good close look at what you are doing for them to be attracted to you.. Relize what you are doing and then for the next time try to change it..

I my self used to be attracted to men that are needy and or Submissive..however, I have learned that it is not good for me to rescue others... That would be Victimizing myself... I no longer will do that to myself!

So now when on the 'HUNT" I talk to them for a few and figure them out.. you can tell right away if they are submissive or Dom or just Plain VANILLA! If you don't like who you are talking to excuse yourself and move on! If you keep talking to them you find yourself likeing them and you are in the same position..(with out a Dom) Make scense?

For those Vanilla men Train then Immediately! in a suttle way.. if you know what i mean...Train them to the way you like to be treated.... Remember the Sub who is in control!


Good Luck...
DGN

 

[bunny bondage]

i hope to have your radar one day, but i'm TERRIBLE at telling subs from doms from nillas. i have to just ask! (which i'm actually doing these days, and that helps!)

and you're right, i do tend to want to help/rescue people. i get it from my dad who had three destructive marriages based on that principle.

i also have a hard time telling the guys who just look intimidating and mean from the jerks who actually are assholes. i just love that shaved head combat-boot menacing style, but on some guys it's indicitive of being a prick!

 

[Jessalynvix]

Dusty and I have this problem in reverse a few of our good guy friends most of who are gay seem to want to be our little subby boys because they can't find a dominant. We just look at each other and laugh because we are thinking what in the world are we supposed to do.

We set them on the path to find what they are looking for like telling them about munches, bondage.com, Lit other sites etc and warn them to watch out for the wannabe's and other such things.

Anyways you will find what you are looking for you just have to be patient and keep the search up.

I know I found what I was looking for when I wasn't really looking I stumbled across it in a roleplay area was the best day of my life when I meet Dusty.

 

[bunny bondage]

may i find your good fortune, Jessa!!

 

[DVS]

Sweetheart, I'm not a boy, but you should know that I'd turn you every which way but loose.

Oh, and I'm assuming you would like that sort of treatment. But, boy just doesn't fit me, any more.

 

[Jessalynvix]

may i find your good fortune, Jessa!!

You will when you least expect it just don't give up.

 

[Krinaia]

As bunny seems to appreciate my stories I thought I'd share the latest...

Of course, know that I'm still confused and wanting the vanilla new yorker... but that I know I should explore myself and not be so serious about someone i can see once every two months or so. Anyhow, now the story..

So Monday I had a crap day and then that evening I went to this fellow's house. We'll call him Andy. So Andy and I had gone a first date long ago and none since.He'd broken our second date when he started having moral issues over dating to females simultanesouly, regardless of the seriousness of the relationship. I had, however, been to his house several days before to just hang out and watch movies. Well Sunday evening he and the other girl broke it off. so here I was, feeling crappy and needing comforting going to someone's house that just broke up with his dating companion.

There was teasing. And mild flirting and limbs touching as we sat on the couch watching another movie and eating pizza. At some point he makes a comment about how "bad" I am so I look at him, smile and say, "So spank me."

Next thing I know, he's got ahold of my wrist and is pulling me towards him. I'm fighting it and laughing nervously, somewhat shocked. Then I'm spilled across his lap, no longer laughing as he spanks me.

He let me have a few minutes to decide if I wanted to continue... and I decided, in my very confused head, that I did so long as my panties stayed on. Hey, we still hadn't kissed even. So, the jeans came off and I got a over the knee spanking with lots of through the panty rubbings. It hurt like hell, and felt wonderful.

Then, he let me go, and pushed me to the floor. And pulled his cock out and I got a horrifed look on my face... because we hadn't discussed safe sex and I was not willing to go down on him without a safeguard especially since we'd never had a talk about safe sex or past partners. I told him so. He got this horrible look on his face. I managed to save the day though and there was mutal masturbation.

But all in all, I came to the conclusion that while nice and fun, there was no spark. His cock was tiny and smelly, he sucks at kissing, and aside from an interest in film, we don't have much in common.

<Sigh>

 

[WriterDom]

His cock was tiny and smelly

<Sigh>

Tiny and smelly? Jesus, I hope he doesn't read that. Or if it was that nasty maybe he should.

 

[Krinaia]

I wouldn't have been so descriptive if I thought he comes here, he doesn't.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

her description of him and his "equipment" was hillarious over the phone (I was her safe call)

 

[sweetnpetite]

Hi bunny. If you really like the guy and he seems openminded, I would just recomend taking it slow and trying all sorts of new things. (It can be fun to experiment on a new guy) By taking it slow, I mean start at his 'kink limit' and when he gets used to that, see if he can be pressed a little further. That's pretty much how my relationship has been going for over 5 years

Sweet. (remember me?)

yes, just this week i ran into a boy who said he was inexperienced but very interested in "kink". but when i told him specifically what i wanted, being spanked, roughed up, etc, he was shocked and said he could never do anything like that! i think he just had some sort of light bondage stuff in mind. *sigh*

our doms are out there somewhere, shy slave!

 

[bunny bondage]

Sweetheart, I'm not a boy, but you should know that I'd turn you every which way but loose.

Oh, and I'm assuming you would like that sort of treatment. But, boy just doesn't fit me, any more.

humble apologies, oh Mr.Sir-Testosterone-Manly-Man!

 

[FungiUg]

our doms are out there somewhere

X-Files meets BDSM?

 

[TNRkitect2b]

X-Files meets BDSM?

***Cue spooky theme music***

 

[bunny bondage]

oh god, here come the sci-fi dorks!!
















(hides my spock ears and uniform com badge)











me? nothing....

 

[FungiUg]

oh god, here come the sci-fi dorks!!

Geeks, not dorks. I may have to spank you for that remark!

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Geeks, not dorks. I may have to spank you for that remark!

Like that will be a punishment...

You both would enjoy it too much.


Need any help?

 

[FungiUg]

Need any help?

Yep, sure! Hand be that Babylon-5 model, that Cylon mask, and that light saber, will you?

Fancy calling me a Sci-Fi dork... I'll teach her! mutter mutter...

 

[Krinaia]

Yep, sure! Hand be that Babylon-5 model, that Cylon mask, and that light saber, will you?

Fancy calling me a Sci-Fi dork... I'll teach her! mutter mutter...

just what are you going to do with the light saber?

 

[bunny bondage]

just what are you going to do with the light saber?

he's going to use the force, presumably!