*&^*&^%&^%$!! Why me, Lord?

[oggbashan]

The thing about football, American style, is it's probably the closest anyone can come to war without bullets. Unlike American football and war, I have never participated in Rugby or Australian Rules Football, but from watching both, I'd think they're in a close race for second place.

RF

To misquote Oscar Wilde. "Football (Soccer) is a game for oafs played by gentlemen; Rugby is a game for gentlemen played by oafs; and Australian Rules is a game for oafs played by killers."

Australian Rugby and Australian Rules are played as Australians fight wars. "Fuck the rules, kill the bastards!"

I've played Rugby and Australian Rules and one game of American Football. I usually walked off the pitch after Rugby. I could run off the pitch at the end of the American Football game. I crawled or was carried off after Australian Rules.

Baseball appears to be a game of professional skill by comparison.

Og

 

[Vincent E]

MG,

What is baseball?

Og

Kind of like cricket, except it usually ends after only one afternoon.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'll be the first to admit that baseball is a really weird game.

*SNIP*
I was taken to a cricket match once, and it was totally incomprehensible to me. Guys did strange stuff with a ball, some posts, and an overgrown flyswatter.

Sounds kinky. I gotta start watching this... baseball, was it?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

To misquote Oscar Wilde. "Football (Soccer) is a game for oafs played by gentlemen; Rugby is a game for gentlemen played by oafs; and Australian Rules is a game for oafs played by killers."

Australian Rugby and Australian Rules are played as Australians fight wars. "Fuck the rules, kill the bastards!"

I've played Rugby and Australian Rules and one game of American Football. I usually walked off the pitch after Rugby. I could run off the pitch at the end of the American Football game. I crawled or was carried off after Australian Rules.

Baseball appears to be a game of professional skill by comparison.

Og

Great post, Og.

I played American football for many, many years. Most of the time I was one of the big ugly lineman, bashing the hell out of the guy lined up in front of me, or as was more often the case, getting the hell bashed out of me by that same guy. In all that time, I never had so much as a scratch.

During my last two years in high school, I played basketball-and damn near got killed. Shin splints, bad ankles, at least one minor concussion, a black eye, and five stitches where an elbow connected on my poor little punkin' head right at the cheek bone. However, I didn't get my broken nose while playing basketball, that happened while playing chess.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[MathGirl]

However, I didn't get my broken nose while playing basketball, that happened while playing chess.

Dear Rumple,
Yes, that Austrialian Rules Chess can be quite dangerous.
MG
Ps. Pro hockey must be seen in person. On TV, they only show where the puck is. In person, you get to see all the sticks in the eye, skates to the groin, knuckle sammidges, and other aspects of the game which make it an art form and a game for the truly discerning. I love it.

 

[Guest]

 

[oggbashan]

Aunt's Ankle

MG,

If the Aunt in question is the one in your AV, I'm surprised no one has offered to kiss her ankle better.

If I could bend my back that far down, I'd volunteer.

Og

 

[Icingsugar]

What Lime said. Hockey up close is the thing. Amen to that.

Tried playing it too, but everyone just tried to kill me all the time. And that was much funnier to watch happen to others....

 

[Seattle Zack]

I'm reminded of a Dave Barry quote:

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base."

Pac Bell is a beautiful park, built without a dollar of public money. Unlike our two stadiums here in Seattle -- costing more than half a billion dollars -- which were all funded by tax dollars.

And it still costs $8 for a beer.

--Zack

 

[Quasimodem]

I used to like baseball but television ruined it for me.

They get great angles on the action, replays, et cetera, but the announcers . . . THE ANNOUNCERS . . . especially the “COLOUR” MAN!

“Joe is the thirteenth league player to have hit more than 40 foul balls in a single season. He has a five-stroke golf handicap, three ex-wives, a teenage daughter, and a drug habit.

“And he’s a looker. He never swings at the first pitch. He has a lot of cool savvy, and he makes the pitcher come to him.

“Jackson on the mound has had fourteen consecutive two and three counts in the last three periods, so don’t be expecting him to give away anything on the first pitch. Jackson, by the way, is the fourth left-handed pitcher to face Joe in the last three games.

“I don’t think Joe likes lefties. Normally, he hits a solid .243 but against southpaws, it sinks to a miserable .201.

“Here’s Jackson’s windup. Joe is at the plate, ready to check out Jackson’s stuff. This will be a chance for Jackson to get one up on the batter.

“The pitch . . . Oh! Joe hit that ball away . . . it’s going . . . yep, it gone bye-bye . . . into the upper deck!

“You know, I always tell, these young pitchers, you cannot afford to give anything away, to a big league heavy hitter.

“Jackson made Joe a gift of that pitch, and Joe sent it into the record books, air mail.

“Blah, blah, blah, blather, blather, blather, et cetera, et cetera, et fucking cetera . . . drone. . . . ”

I tried to watch with the sound off, but that was no good.

I even sent a suggestion to one of the stations that was fudging around with their Secondary Audio Program.

I suggested they might try to simulate the experience of sitting in the stands. Just wild-track crowd noise, in-stadium PA announcements, and cut in their mike if the station does any voice-over-action commercials.

That way, viewers could decide whether to experience the game as though they were attending it (near as virtually possible) on the SAP setting.

Or, if they preferred, could listen to the sound on the regular audio program, as though they had gone to the game accompanying some fool with verbal diarrhea.

Although I managed to be much more diplomatic, I never got a response. One time, I checked during a game, and the SAP had some guy reading editorials and columns from small city newspapers all over the country.

I tried to watch the game, but I got lonesome for the colour man, and turned off the set.

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by Quasimodem I tried to watch with the sound off, but that was no good. , but I got lonesome for the colour man, and turned off the set.

Dear Quaz,
I feel the same way. I used to watch on TV on 'mute' and listen on the radio. I guess they realized a lot of people were doing that, so the TV is about four seconds behind the radio. Not so good.

My method of choice is to listen on the radio while reading or on here. If something interesting happens, I can glance up at the mute TV to watch the action.

Most of the time, watching baseball is not enough to do. I regularly bring a book along to PacBell Parque. Infuriates a lot of people, especially Auntie. I like that.
MG