Why Post Pics? A Reality Check

[rrocks37]

I think that's great! If taking and posting pictures gave you that kind of self-confidence and pleasure, then more power to you.

Thank you! I'm sorry that you didn't have a similar experience.

I am by NO means the hottest chick around. I have glasses and chub. But I'm happy with who I am. So fuck it.

 

[monique1971]

I would certainly have been in that other 2% but I suspect you have the proportions reversed. If people don't care for what they see but want to be polite, it's so easy to just move on to another thread. If they post, like me, I think it's because they genuinely like what they see and want to be encouraging.

If lots of posts are complimentary but kind of generic and inarticulate, well, that may be because the more enticing you are, the more the blood rushes from our brains.

The second part of your post made me laugh! But I think I could have phrased my earlier comment more precisely. I don't think it's a question so much of people not caring for what they see but posting anyway; rather, I envision people not being particularly moved one way or another but posting, as you say, to be "encouraging," because regardless of what you think of the photos or their subject matter, most of us recognize that it takes some nerve to put yourself out there and that courage is worth commending. And yes, it is easy to move on to another thread without saying anything, which is, I think, the response that most threads on here get from most viewers. The high-traffic threads that stay on pages 1-3 for days on end are the exceptions to the rule. Most, mine included, sink fast even after new postings. It's survival of the fittest out there, man.

 

[monique1971]

Thank you! I'm sorry that you didn't have a similar experience.

I am by NO means the hottest chick around. I have glasses and chub. But I'm happy with who I am. So fuck it.

Excellent.

I should clarify that I didn't have an unpleasant experience, simply one that after a while I didn't care to prolong.

 

[Blue_Sky_]

The second part of your post made me laugh! But I think I could have phrased my earlier comment more precisely. I don't think it's a question so much of people not caring for what they see but posting anyway; rather, I envision people not being particularly moved one way or another but posting, as you say, to be "encouraging," because regardless of what you think of the photos or their subject matter, most of us recognize that it takes some nerve to put yourself out there and that courage is worth commending. And yes, it is easy to move on to another thread without saying anything, which is, I think, the response that most threads on here get from most viewers. The high-traffic threads that stay on pages 1-3 for days on end are the exceptions to the rule. Most, mine included, sink fast even after new postings. It's survival of the fittest out there, man.

I think you're selling yourself short. I think people are moved. I was anyway. Yours was one of the first threads I posted to after long months of lurking. I recognized courage, yes, but before that, hotness, sweetness and intelligence. It's not all about high traffic. Quality not quantity.

 

[monique1971]

I think you're selling yourself short. I think people are moved. I was anyway. Yours was one of the first threads I posted to after long months of lurking. I recognized courage, yes, but before that, hotness, sweetness and intelligence. It's not all about high traffic. Quality not quantity.

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

But I wasn't fishing for compliments. I spoke not so much of myself but of the whole unspoken bargain between posters and viewers in general (of course, many of us who post also view!)

 

[^RAVEN^]

I started my pic thread to give myself a boost and it worked for teh first 20 mins but then it died and i was left feeling the same way as when i had started. Not sure if it was the timeing or the subject but i did have fun with it and may post some more if asked nicely. Alot of people forget that guys feel the same way about these things as the women do took me months before i was willing to show myself on cam cause of the fear of what people might think, but most people on lit do seem to care about the people behind the photos not just about the photos and thats really nice to see.
(sorry if i rambled its very late here and im very tired )

 

[monique1971]

I started my pic thread to give myself a boost and it worked for teh first 20 mins but then it died and i was left feeling the same way as when i had started. Not sure if it was the timeing or the subject but i did have fun with it and may post some more if asked nicely. Alot of people forget that guys feel the same way about these things as the women do took me months before i was willing to show myself on cam cause of the fear of what people might think, but most people on lit do seem to care about the people behind the photos not just about the photos and thats really nice to see.
(sorry if i rambled its very late here and im very tired )

This goes back to the point I was trying to make in my original post. Posting pics can be great if you do it for yourself, but doing it for the ego boost can really be a dead end. I'm glad that you did have some fun with your thread.

 

[yogiforlife]

re

I think for most of us in the beginning, we post to get approval from outside sources but that does fade quickly, the only way you survive posting on here is to do it for yourself. I even have retaken some of my pics to improve on them, gone back to the original posts and attached the new ones without telling anybody, wasn't looking for new comments, just wanted to improve on them for me. I would look at some of my old pics and realize they were bad in one way or the other and felt compelled to fix them.

I think you can tell who the people are that just post comments for the heck of it, just look at their average posts a day, I've been here for a little more than a year, average 2-3 posts a day, so I'm hardly someone who goes from thread to thread telling women how "hot" they are. I'll miss your thread Monique, I came across yours after I started mine, I enjoyed visiting you on yours.

 

[monique1971]

I think for most of us in the beginning, we post to get approval from outside sources but that does fade quickly, the only way you survive posting on here is to do it for yourself. I even have retaken some of my pics to improve on them, gone back to the original posts and attached the new ones without telling anybody, wasn't looking for new comments, just wanted to improve on them for me. I would look at some of my old pics and realize they were bad in one way or the other and felt compelled to fix them.

I think you can tell who the people are that just post comments for the heck of it, just look at their average posts a day, I've been here for a little more than a year, average 2-3 posts a day, so I'm hardly someone who goes from thread to thread telling women how "hot" they are. I'll miss your thread Monique, I came across yours after I started mine, I enjoyed visiting you on yours.

That's a good point about the average posts per day. I look forward to seeing your pictures in the future. And I think I may go back through the old posts and look for some of these revised pictures, too!

Thanks for your kind words about my thread.

 

[FLDan40]

Hi Monique

I have been posting for a short time now and find it very exciting - the exhibitionist side in me. I enjoy the comments and hope to get them but it doesn't really bother me if no comments are posted. It's a rush to post the pics. Will I continue? I don't know, I suppose there will be a point where I will find myself posting the same kinds of pics and get bored - or the rush will fade - or both.

I don't think I am looking for any kind of validation but it does feel good to get positive comments.

Thanks for creating this thread, it's an interesting one.
Dan

 

[sparc101]

Hi Monique, I recently took my pics of the thread I started. I admit they were not great works of art. Yes there was excitment in taking them and posting them, etc. But I didn't seem to be getting all that many views. Most were honest, yet not earth shattering. Not that I was looking for reviews. Maybe I'll get back in the mood sometime and take some others. I take the pictures in private and don't devulge to anyone that I have done it. I make extra sure I delete all the pics... don't want others close to me to find them I guess.

Anyway, I wish I had found this site a bit earlier on so that I could have had more of a glimpse of you. If you are anything like your Avatar was...wow! Will you ever put pics back up here?

 

[monique1971]

I have been posting for a short time now and find it very exciting - the exhibitionist side in me. I enjoy the comments and hope to get them but it doesn't really bother me if no comments are posted. It's a rush to post the pics. Will I continue? I don't know, I suppose there will be a point where I will find myself posting the same kinds of pics and get bored - or the rush will fade - or both.

I don't think I am looking for any kind of validation but it does feel good to get positive comments.

I think you have exactly the right kind of attitude.

Hi Monique, I recently took my pics of the thread I started. I admit they were not great works of art. Yes there was excitment in taking them and posting them, etc. But I didn't seem to be getting all that many views. Most were honest, yet not earth shattering. Not that I was looking for reviews. Maybe I'll get back in the mood sometime and take some others. I take the pictures in private and don't devulge to anyone that I have done it. I make extra sure I delete all the pics... don't want others close to me to find them I guess.

Anyway, I wish I had found this site a bit earlier on so that I could have had more of a glimpse of you. If you are anything like your Avatar was...wow! Will you ever put pics back up here?

I liked your thread, but I can understand why you decided to take the pictures down. I basically had the same experience.

As for me, I doubt that I'll post pictures again, but who knows? Never say never, right? I tend to change my mind often, and could very well change my mind about this.

 

[alwaysAmber]

I'm glad you posed this question, Monique, cause I sometimes wonder.

I have a thread, and there's definitely a piece of me that gets excited when it gets replies. I do find that I love hearing more about how this or that post of mine looks artistic or erotic. I personally feel that showing full body nudes or stills of sex acts would deaden the thrill a bit quicker for me (as ridiculous as it may sound in a forum like this with the pictures I post, there's a part of me that feels it might cheapen it. or be degrading to myself somehow). but it's fun to play around with poses and themes and all that. I learned pretty quickly in life (prior to discovering the Lit community, I might add) that the validation I was seeking outside of myself was something I could only get within.

still, I post. I do it for the flirtatious side of me it brings out that I somewhat stuff in public. my friends know I'm quite a sexual being, but most people might, at first glance, peg me for that wholesome girl next door (with tattoos and piercings, of course )

I guess I thought I might find some of that validation here, and I did get it. an eensy bit that really left more to be desired after all. but I do appreciate the feedback, in whatever form it comes (from "wow, the shading and understanding of depth in this one is amazing" to "your tits are great"), because it gives me a little more strength in being comfortable in my own skin. I started the process of accepting myself and all my imperfections a long time before I found Lit - and I am grateful. I love it here but think it could be dangerous had I leaned on it early on for gratification and self-acceptance.

just my 2 cents

 

[yogiforlife]

re

Hi Monique, I recently took my pics of the thread I started. I admit they were not great works of art. Yes there was excitment in taking them and posting them, etc. But I didn't seem to be getting all that many views. Most were honest, yet not earth shattering. Not that I was looking for reviews. Maybe I'll get back in the mood sometime and take some others. I take the pictures in private and don't devulge to anyone that I have done it. I make extra sure I delete all the pics... don't want others close to me to find them I guess.

Anyway, I wish I had found this site a bit earlier on so that I could have had more of a glimpse of you. If you are anything like your Avatar was...wow! Will you ever put pics back up here?

I liked this post as well, I felt many of the same things when I started posted and still feel that way.

Monique, why did you take your pics down? I mean, I can see a day when I might stop posting pics but to erase them all? I would only do that if I was trying to erase myself completely from Lit. Do you not want comments from people who may in the future come across your thread?

 

[monique1971]

still, I post. I do it for the flirtatious side of me it brings out that I somewhat stuff in public. my friends know I'm quite a sexual being, but most people might, at first glance, peg me for that wholesome girl next door (with tattoos and piercings, of course )

I definitely enjoyed the feeling of exploring a secret side, the part of me that literally and figuratively is hidden from view in my ordinary life. Most people, at first glance, peg me for the bookish type. Gee, I wonder why?

 

[monique1971]

Monique, why did you take your pics down? I mean, I can see a day when I might stop posting pics but to erase them all? I would only do that if I was trying to erase myself completely from Lit. Do you not want comments from people who may in the future come across your thread?

The short answer is that I decided that if the thread wasn't going to be active, I wanted it as closed as possible. While asking ShyGuy to delete it seemed like going a bit far, I don't in fact want comments from people in the future who might come across the pictures. They're mine, I shared them, and now I'm not comfortable sharing them. The pics haven't been destroyed. I have them all on a CD and on my hard drive, and I'm not trying to erase myself. In fact, I post more often now that I don't have a pic thread. Odd, isn't it?

 

[yogiforlife]

re

The short answer is that I decided that if the thread wasn't going to be active, I wanted it as closed as possible. While asking ShyGuy to delete it seemed like going a bit far, I don't in fact want comments from people in the future who might come across the pictures. They're mine, I shared them, and now I'm not comfortable sharing them. The pics haven't been destroyed. I have them all on a CD and on my hard drive, and I'm not trying to erase myself. In fact, I post more often now that I don't have a pic thread. Odd, isn't it?

Fair enough, I respect your decision.

 

[sparc101]

I definitely enjoyed the feeling of exploring a secret side,

I am just sad that I wasn't able to explore you as well. Oh well. Hey, I did read your stories. Very nice easy read, thanks.

Anyway, I will continue to check back at times to see if you ever change your mind...pleaseeeeee..

hey, enough of this begging... have a good evening.

 

[EndCredits]

Yeah... the reason I haven't started a thread is because I'm not really an exhibitionist... it just doesn't seem right to me just to do it for why I'd be doing it.

As far as other people's threads go, I do try to acknowledge the more artistic ones, or at least the pictures that aren't completely stupid (I mean, close-ups of nipples just ain't that exciting). But I'll admit that I'm guilty of the "OMG HAWT" response just because it's something that I can say here and not in real life.

 

[ShyNymph]

I find this a fascinating topic and I'll admit that I did not read every response as I was eager to reply, so forgive me if this is another "same-old" answer.

I personally started posting pics probably for multiple reasons. 1: would of course be the validation everyone seems to seek 2: I was bored and like having projects 3: it was a thrill doing something so "taboo." I have had about 3 threads since then, and I usually let them die and even went back and took off all my old pictures when I went on hiatus from lit for about a year.

But something always draws me back. As I am older now and more experienced lit-wise, I realize that validation is, as you suggested, not exactly reality because it is very rare to find a negative comment about anyone. Most posters are very encouraging here, and while this is of course not a bad thing, I could just never understand how a blurred pic of something between the legs could get instant raves. I myself am very drawn to the artistic and sensual pics and use them as inspiration for my own. This is why my personal favorites include Sulk, FieryJen, and Olivia Drake, though I don't believe the latter comes around anymore.

I think those who are using ampics as a source of sincere validation are either young or slightly deluded. It's also a pet peeve of mine when people will post something like "I'm not doing another pic until I get X amount of posts" etc.

But to make a very long answer short, it's fun and pictures can be very well done, but it should not be taken seriously.

 

[monique1971]

Yeah... the reason I haven't started a thread is because I'm not really an exhibitionist...

Exhibitionism used to be a mainstay of my erotic fantasy life. I don't think I'm unusual in this, at all. It's interesting to see how common some fantasies are.

 

[monique1971]

I find this a fascinating topic and I'll admit that I did not read every response as I was eager to reply, so forgive me if this is another "same-old" answer.

I personally started posting pics probably for multiple reasons. 1: would of course be the validation everyone seems to seek 2: I was bored and like having projects 3: it was a thrill doing something so "taboo." I have had about 3 threads since then, and I usually let them die and even went back and took off all my old pictures when I went on hiatus from lit for about a year.

But something always draws me back. As I am older now and more experienced lit-wise, I realize that validation is, as you suggested, not exactly reality because it is very rare to find a negative comment about anyone. Most posters are very encouraging here, and while this is of course not a bad thing, I could just never understand how a blurred pic of something between the legs could get instant raves. I myself am very drawn to the artistic and sensual pics and use them as inspiration for my own. This is why my personal favorites include Sulk, FieryJen, and Olivia Drake, though I don't believe the latter comes around anymore.

I think those who are using ampics as a source of sincere validation are either young or slightly deluded. It's also a pet peeve of mine when people will post something like "I'm not doing another pic until I get X amount of posts" etc.

But to make a very long answer short, it's fun and pictures can be very well done, but it should not be taken seriously.

Thanks for a great answer! I too find it interesting to see what each person's answer is.

I have never seen anyone say, "I'm not doing another pic until I get X amount of posts." What a bizarre idea. I do admit that I would have liked to get to a certain number of posts (never did) but to petulantly declare that the tap was off until I did....my goodness. I say, either post, or don't post, but don't play games about it.

 

[ShyNymph]

Thanks for a great answer! I too find it interesting to see what each person's answer is.

I have never seen anyone say, "I'm not doing another pic until I get X amount of posts." What a bizarre idea. I do admit that I would have liked to get to a certain number of posts (never did) but to petulantly declare that the tap was off until I did....my goodness. I say, either post, or don't post, but don't play games about it.

Sadly, I have seen that. But as far as I know it was just one poster. Although I could be considered a hypocrit because I've been known to do the whole, "ooo, nobody liked that pic?" slightly pathetic trying to be cute but failing miserably tactic if I don't get responses on a particular picture.

 

[Matthew Craig]

I closed my thread a few days ago. A few people asked me why. The reasons don't really matter. They mostly have to do with feeling that the thread was dying a slow death anyway and a preference for clean snappy endings; additionally, I had started to feel that I was repeating myself by posting the same kinds of pictures over and over again, and this bored me.

The experience of having a thread made me think, and closing the thread made me think again. And then there were the recent, and predictable debates about "hottest girl on Lit" etc. -- these also made me think.

I'll admit it, although it doesn't made me look good: I began posting pics because I was looking for validation. I got it, to be sure. Then I began thinking, "Ooooh, I must be so hot! Look at all these posts and comments." (This is the part where reality and I began to part ways.) I started thinking, "We're all hot! Even me!" Plus, of course, there was the sexual buzz one gets out of the whole exhibitionist thing. But let's not get into that.

But then I started wondering, isn't there something a little unhealthy about posting pictures in order to be validated in this way? Sure, it's fun, and harmless, but what am I really looking for here, and why? The truth is, there are and were "hotter" girls than I on this site. There always will be. That's reality. So I wondered, and thought, and posted pictures, and wondered some more. In the meantime I learned that I enjoyed taking pictures. I liked having an image in my mind and trying to make that image a reality. I enjoyed seeing myself in this new way. Sometimes what I saw looked great -- sometimes it didn't.

I'll probably do another thread sometime if it amuses me. I enjoyed meeting people via my thread. I'll certainly keep taking pictures, of myself and other subjects. But I'd caution anyone who posts looking for the ego boost -- I've found that this is a dead-end street despite people's genuine kindness here. The day would have come when I posted something to no views and no comments -- and what would I have made of that? I say: Post your pics here only if you really are prepared not to care what other people think.

To make this into a thread for discussion rather than -- how do you separate the quality of the photography from the subject? Do you even bother to try? Do you post nice things to people's threads, just to be encouraging, even if you think their pictures actually don't look that good? Or do you lock onto the threads of the people you KNOW are guaranteed to get you going, and give the rest a pass?

I find I'm curious about how people --those who post, and those who view, and those of us who do both -- use this site.

I can't believe i read the whole fucking thing.

To sum what you said all up.. "There will always be somebody better."

If you've just figured this out now.. Lord help you.

 

[monique1971]

I can't believe i read the whole fucking thing.

To sum what you said all up.. "There will always be somebody better."

If you've just figured this out now.. Lord help you.

I couldn't agree more.