Woman's Perspective on Having Sex With Another Man

[phil1955]

No, it isn't hard for women to find willing men. It's very difficult to find men who are willing to spend a few hours of mutual sexual pleasure and aren't one-cumers or, "Just a blow-job, honey! I got things to do." My experience has been roughly 1:4 in favor of the later. Lucky the former's were very memorable and worth while, if only one time.

I take your point but that is true of a lot of personal interaction. Lot of jerks in the world. Got to sort them out. Wife has only taken one other lover so far. They were hiking buddies before she broached the subject and so far it has worked well. He is single and living alone so is more than happy to spend non sexual time as well. As for the one cummmers, don’t be too harsh. As an older guy, I am becoming limited in that area. On the other hand, I can pretty much hold off as long as needed. Plus a woman has been kind enough to teach me a few tricks over the years. Hopefully as you move forward, you will run in to fewer wham bam guys.

 

[enigma3]

No, other than she obviously wants to be attracted to him. I don't care who it is, I just want him to have a big cock.

i ain't laughed so much since grandma got her tit caught in the mangle.
I just want him to have a big cock.[/QUOTE] WTF

 

[Caroline1961]

I take your point but that is true of a lot of personal interaction. Lot of jerks in the world. Got to sort them out. Wife has only taken one other lover so far. They were hiking buddies before she broached the subject and so far it has worked well. He is single and living alone so is more than happy to spend non sexual time as well. As for the one cummmers, don’t be too harsh. As an older guy, I am becoming limited in that area. On the other hand, I can pretty much hold off as long as needed. Plus a woman has been kind enough to teach me a few tricks over the years. Hopefully as you move forward, you will run in to fewer wham bam guys.

Mainly speaking of the 70's-80's with that type, (I'm getting old too ). Some of the best sex I've ever had was with, ''one-nighters''. Still the ratio of men who gave memorable great sex is about 1:4 in favor of the dull so-so men.

 

[phil1955]

Mainly speaking of the 70's-80's with that type, (I'm getting old too ). Some of the best sex I've ever had was with, ''one-nighters''. Still the ratio of men who gave memorable great sex is about 1:4 in favor of the dull so-so men.

What does it take for a man to provide memorable sex for you? I tend to think it is more about the setting than the actual fucking. My wife told me about some great sex with a middle aged man she hooked up with one night in Newport. They had a few drinks at a bar on Thames Street and then he took her for a moonlight sail in his boat. Apparently it was just the whole scene of a warn breeze, boat gently rocking. Very memorable sex for her.

 

[Taggy1]

Shes wondering if you love her so much, how could you want to share her. voice of experience. be careful....you cant unfuck once its done.

Well said. Once done it can’t be undone

 

[Caroline1961]

What does it take for a man to provide memorable sex for you? I tend to think it is more about the setting than the actual fucking. My wife told me about some great sex with a middle aged man she hooked up with one night in Newport. They had a few drinks at a bar on Thames Street and then he took her for a moonlight sail in his boat. Apparently it was just the whole scene of a warn breeze, boat gently rocking. Very memorable sex for her.

Sometimes the setting has something to do with it, sometimes the man himself, (I like some conversation, not just sex) a few times I have to admit, it was the cock and the way it was used!

 

[bhurry]

Sometimes the setting has something to do with it, sometimes the man himself, (I like some conversation, not just sex) a few times I have to admit, it was the cock and the way it was used!

Well there no doubt about that for sure. But let us also take into consideration the other side of the coin. The pussy and how it was used. Time,place and yes for sure not just bim bam thank you mam. I enjoy a nice conversation and discussion of what her,my interests so forth. Enjoy the time . Life is not all sex. Well not ?

 

[BBCfan]

all sounds a lot like "my rules..."

so you push your wife into something she is not sure of then you want to control the situation with your rules

if your wife does this to please you then she really should be the one to set the rules. What happens if those rules change beyond your liking?

As for

Be careful your eagerness does not cloud your judgement. Don't put your interpretation on the message she is telling you. Respect her feelings on this subject or any subject really.

There are so many reasons displayed in your post for this to go very wrong. Basically your post comes across as yet another "How do I make my wife do something I really want..." which is usually the start of a marriage breakup.

If she does view you as pushy and not paying attention to her expressed feelings then she may well find someone who is more responsive and respectful far more appealing.

The odd thing here is in your post heading "Woman's Perspective on Having Sex With Another Man" when you appear to be ignoring the very woman closest to you. You just want to hear stories to support your agenda.

Honestly, if your wife were truly onboard with this you would not be writing here, you would be both enthusiastically fantasising and planning. Show this thread to your wife and ask her to participate in it so she can ask her very own questions. If you are unwilling to show her this thread then it proves instantly a lack of shared openness and trust which is absolutely essential if you are both going to proceed.

Meanwhile there is a virus going on and you would be bloody silly to do anything along those lines, maybe for some time yet - so don't be in a hurry. You have raised the subject, if she wants to do this she will let you know.

If you are both totally onboard with this, not just you imposing your fantasy, then head along to a club first. Observe others having sex and including other partners, then discuss if you both want to take it further. I would strongly suggest a club environment again for the first time rather than imposing the situation on friends that could end up in disaster.

Word count in your post:
"I" - 9 times
"I'm" - once
"we" - zero

your marriage won't survive if you push this

very wise words!

I've recently poked my head down this rabbit hole and I understand how exciting this fantasy can be on a level that is almost shocking.

The problem is guys are lunatics (me included!) and most women aren't.

Thankfully my wife and I have amazingly open communication and really shared honestly when I became a bit obsessed with a particular 3some fantasy.

LISTEN TO THE WOMEN...

unless she is pushing for it...you're misinterptreting her communication. MOST women will bond with lovers and if you're pushing towards encounter when she has confusion you will push her away.

Hot fantasies aren't worth putting partnerships on the line for. Back off...jerk off and REALLY listen to her.

 

[Jada59]

Nice fantasy but I doubt that I would really do it.

 

[cuckoldbill]

You can't *make* her more comfortable and agreeable to the idea. If she is, she is and will act on it of her own accord. If not, you'll have to hold your fantasy (that doesn't sound entirely like she enthusiastically shares it) until she is 100% ready. Goading or coercing her into doing it isn't cool.

This is so true. Be patient. I was in a similar situation. My wife reluctantly agreed to try it. We had many false dawns. Changed her mind at the last minute. The guy just didn’t feel right etc etc. If that happens don’t get mad or show disappointment. Talk it through with her. With your support and understanding she will get there. Mine eventually ended up with my best friend and had a fab affair with him. Over 20 years later we’re all still great friends and they have managed to get together for a good fuck at least once a year.

 

[UK_Jill45]

The way that me and hubby reached this point was a bit different. It all come about after I had a brief affair, after that I allowed him to have sex with a friend of mine as despite my affair I didn't have the same sex drive as him. That worked for us and even led to me joining them one night. Over time though we talked about my affair and how we both had felt about me having sex with another man. Hubby actually confessed that he found it a turn on, we talked at length and started to explore the possibility of inviting another man in to our sex life.

We met guys socially and hubby made it clear it was my call who I wanted and we would only go further if I was totally happy with the guy and situation. The first time was nervous but I insisted that hubby was there, not only to watch but it gave me a sense of security that made me feel safe. After that we expanded and met singles and couples. As it's been said on here your wife needs to be in control of the situation and it's her call if she wants to proceed. Agreeing to it is one thing and going through with it is another. It might be your fantasy but your wife is a big part of it and she has to be fully on board with it. If she wants to then she will let you know in her time when she feels right to proceed.

Good Luck.

 

[Scareltt]

Where to start??

Ladies, I woul love your insight into this subject. My wife just agreed to have sex with another man while I watch, but she is apprehensive about and in no hurry to accomplish the task. I think she is aroused by the idea more than she lets on and she needs to pretend to protest vigorously to satisfy her own mind that she tried to remain "faithful." I don't have to watch each and every time. I don't even have to be in the same location, but I do want to hear all of the details upon her return. Our rules are that she controls the who and the when, she will always be safe sexually, let me know when to expect her back and where she is and most of all if she doesn't feel safe or comfortable she will leave. I would love all of your tips and advice, to see exactly what is going through my wife's mind and what I can do to make her not think I'm "crazy" and to find out what I can do to make her more comfortable and agreeable with the idea.

First you two probably need to have more conversations. I cried on my way to my actual first date. Then I cried on the way home. I didn’t even kiss the guy, he held my hand and on a walk through the park he put his arm around my waist. I felt so conflicted I didn’t know what to think.

Also before I actually went on a date I got dressed up and went out with friends. I told my husband I was meeting men from Tinder. I wanted to gauge his actual feelings. I did that three times. Each time we talked about what he thought I was doing and what I was actually doing. I was with friends who are a little more open minded. I did flirt and even accepted drinks from a few men. The first drink I actually gave the guy money for. I felt like I was being unfair with him. It got easier and I let men chat me up. I didn’t give out my number, but I did share my email address. A few of them actually emailed me. It’s a wonderful feeling to be perused.

Next was Tinder. My husband actually helped me make my Tinder profile. Every married woman should have a Tinder or Plenty of Fish Application on their phones. I think I maybe got two negative comments about “being married”. The rest of the comments and messages to me were positive. Seriously it’s an amazing self esteem boost. I shared all the comments with my husband and that alone actually improved our sex life...

Three dates set up on Tinder. When I though we both were ready I set up 3 dates for myself. The men knew I was married and that I was meeting them with my husbands knowledge. I also let them know that he wouldn’t be with me. For safety I had friends at the Starbucks we we’re meeting at. I also had share my location on my phone. These were set to be just coffee dates/conversations. I ended up with two no shows and one guy who used what was probably a 10 year old picture. The no shows stung... but I guess it’s one thing to message the married chick on Tinder and another thing to actually meet her.

I ended up seeing a bar manager at one of the places close to my old office. He was mid thirties and we had a lot of fun. He was also very patient, and a wonderful lover. Now I miss Carlos....

My advice would be to find out exactly what your wife is looking for. Or if she is even interested in doing this...

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

First you two probably need to have more conversations. I cried on my way to my actual first date. Then I cried on the way home. I didn’t even kiss the guy, he held my hand and on a walk through the park he put his arm around my waist. I felt so conflicted I didn’t know what to think.

Also before I actually went on a date I got dressed up and went out with friends. I told my husband I was meeting men from Tinder. I wanted to gauge his actual feelings. I did that three times. Each time we talked about what he thought I was doing and what I was actually doing. I was with friends who are a little more open minded. I did flirt and even accepted drinks from a few men. The first drink I actually gave the guy money for. I felt like I was being unfair with him. It got easier and I let men chat me up. I didn’t give out my number, but I did share my email address. A few of them actually emailed me. It’s a wonderful feeling to be perused.

Next was Tinder. My husband actually helped me make my Tinder profile. Every married woman should have a Tinder or Plenty of Fish Application on their phones. I think I maybe got two negative comments about “being married”. The rest of the comments and messages to me were positive. Seriously it’s an amazing self esteem boost. I shared all the comments with my husband and that alone actually improved our sex life...

Three dates set up on Tinder. When I though we both were ready I set up 3 dates for myself. The men knew I was married and that I was meeting them with my husbands knowledge. I also let them know that he wouldn’t be with me. For safety I had friends at the Starbucks we we’re meeting at. I also had share my location on my phone. These were set to be just coffee dates/conversations. I ended up with two no shows and one guy who used what was probably a 10 year old picture. The no shows stung... but I guess it’s one thing to message the married chick on Tinder and another thing to actually meet her.

I ended up seeing a bar manager at one of the places close to my old office. He was mid thirties and we had a lot of fun. He was also very patient, and a wonderful lover. Now I miss Carlos....

My advice would be to find out exactly what your wife is looking for. Or if she is even interested in doing this...

Wow, that's hot. I have to admit wife with others is hot!

 

[policywank]

If she is going to have sex with other men it needs to be for her, not you. She isn't a prop in your fantasy. She is her own woman who needs to enjoy it for herself.

Be careful with the rules. Limit them to the ones that are solely for practicality and safety. Otherwise you will end up inadvertently putting constraints on her or imposing conditions which she might end up resenting. She will make a connection with some of her lovers. She won't always want to tell you about the experiences right away. And she sure as hell won't want you keeping tabs on her every movement.

Think of it this way. If she was single she would be perfectly capable of going on dates, staying over at her lover's house and being out of contact for days yet be perfectly safe. She wouldn't feel obliged to keep a relative or friend constantly up to date on her whereabouts and activities. And if you were her brother you wouldn't be sitting at home fretting over that. You would know that she is a big girl capable of taking care of herself without constantly checking in. So make sure you aren't fooling yourself that the whole idea of telling you where she is and when she will be back is for her safety. That is for you and if you aren't careful she will come to resent it.

There will come a time when she has an experience with her lover that she doesn't want to share with you. There will come a time when she wants to go somewhere or do something with her lover and doesn't want to have to check-in or tell you what she is doing. There will come a time when she wants to stay the night with her lover and doesn't want to have to report back to you or at most will be willing to inform you. She will develop connections with her lovers that don't involve you in any way.

Think of it like the way she has friends or relatives with whom she has a direct personal relationship that doesn't involve you. It is fine if you are there. But you know that she can spend time with that friend or relative and they can have a connection that doesn't involve you at all. If you compel her to tell you everything that they did together as soon as she got home that would be controlling, overbearing and creepy. It isn't that she has anything to hide. It is just that she is a grown ass woman who doesn't owe you an accounting of her every movement.

She will sometimes feel the same or even more so with a lover. She can't enjoy him if you are constantly hovering over her shoulder - figuratively or literally - and expecting a full accounting of her activities.

She may well enjoy sharing the experience with you and that is great. I am just saying that won't always be the case. I frequently share with my husband the experiences that I have with my lovers. But no fucking way he is allowed to be sitting on the edge of his seat demanding a full accounting from me the minute I get home. I have intimate personal relationships with my lovers. That is just between us and it is central to my enjoyment of the experience.

My guess is that your wife might end up feeling the same way. Maybe not with every guy and maybe not right away. It is a matter of emotions and we don't control our emotions. We can manage how we react to them and try to put them in perspective but we can't turn them off and on. When she has feelings and makes a connection that she doesn't want to share with you or maybe just not right away the "rules" won't matter.

I respect that my husband enjoys being a cuckold and gets off on it. I make sure to indulge that fantasy. But I don't fucking need some horny little perv constantly insisting that I be the conduit for his fantasy when I am trying to enjoy my lover. Like I said, I am not a prop in his fantasy. I am grown woman living my life.

There are a lot of reasons why a wife might be hesitant. One of the ones we don't hear that often is that she is more than willing to fuck other men but she wants to do it on her terms and can't quite find a way to tell her husband to fuck off with all the rules that are supposedly for her safety or the health of the marriage but are really a covert way for her husband to try to control the situation. If you try to do that it will end badly. Accept that she is going to fuck other men, they will do things for her that you don't, they will have connections in which you play no part and she won't want you invading on that. Just like that cousin or friend I described - the fact that they have something in which you have no part doesn't threaten your marriage unless you make it an issue.

 

[LisaViva]

My X husband still gets me sessions but his deal is those that he sets up he gets to watch. He hated when he couldn't but loved when he could. Having to wait in the driveway until my session was over just got to him. Our situation is better not married anymore. Mutually better for us as he still supports me and he gets what he wants as well with watching.

 

[Playblues2020]

Turn on your PM...I have some views to share on the topic, but I'd rather not broadcast them.

I would also like your insights. I share a similar fantasy. My PMs are open.