Worst Book Ever?

[Bramblethorn]

Some of the books written to claim a place in the Guinness Book of records:

A French author decided to write a whole novel without using the letter 'e'. Try saying anything in French without an 'e'.

Ernest Vincent Wright's "Gadsby" aims to do the same thing, but he slipped up here and there with a few "the"s etc. Harder to check back in the days before Ctrl-F, I suppose.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Taking this as a relative ranking for ‘worst book ever,’ and avoiding self-published and free stuff, I was amazed at how bad I found Mira Grant’s[1] Parasite. I worked out the Big Reveal somewhere around the first twenty pages and I hoped a nuclear bomb would wipe out every character involved, so that maybe some decent characters would appear. Her Big Evil CEO of a biomedical firm was the finest cardboard… but even more, some of the characters with whom we were apparently supposed to be sympathetic were much worse than him in their actions regarding the unfolding apocalypse.

I’ve found this with her work. Both this one and her Newsflesh trilogy had ideas that are square in my interest areas. But, I… just… hate… her… characters. In both cases I never made it past the first book in the respective trilogies and I think I’ve finally learned my lesson on her work.

Haven't read the Mira Grant line, but I'm quite fond of her "Indexing" and "Every Heart A Doorway" series. She can get a little heavy-handed though on topics that she feels strongly about.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I once forced myself to read Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" because I had seen the movie "Apocalypse Now" and had read it was based on Conrad's novel. Perhaps it was. But the book's themes were so grim, squalid, and full of hopelessness. Actually the movie was not much better (for me at any rate). Yuk!

Conrad is never an easy read. I'll concede that he probably captured the reality of the Belgian Congo pretty well. The problem with Apocalypse Now is that Coppola started filming - on location in the Philippines no less - without having a completed script. When Brando arrived, all his lines had to be improvised as they went along. That's probably why the movie seems to fall apart near the ending.

Coppola's wife filmed much of this documentary about the making of the movie.

Hearts of Darkness

 

[gunhilltrain]

But I suppose my all time z-list has to be Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow. I tried four times and never got past the scat part.

Then again, I doubt Rand, Adams and Pynchon would rate my tawdry little tales very highly and they all earned a lot more money from writing than the square root of eff all.

I only tried Pynchon once. I think it was V, but I'm not sure now. Near the beginning, he switches to a completely different scene in the middle of a page. That was as far as I got.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I only tried Pynchon once. I think it was V, but I'm not sure now. Near the beginning, he switches to a completely different scene in the middle of a page. That was as far as I got.

Same, I've still got V and Gravity's Rainbow from pretentious under-graduate days. I keep thinking, should try to read them again. All I can remember is alligators in NY sewers, but I'm damned if I know the context.

Same with Lawrence Durrell. Jesus wept, he's a slow read. I forced myself just this year to get through the Alexandria Quartet (for the third time, and did make it, finally, to the end), but I've abandoned the other two long ones, twice. It's like wading through mud. There must be a point to it all, but I'll be damned if I know what it is.

 

[Lovecraft_Lore]

The Turner diaries. It was one of very few books banned by the local Library. It is a neo-Nazi dystopian novel written by neo-Nazi for neo-Nazi. I kept reading it because of the shear amount of effort I had to go through to get my hands on a copy.

It is hard to pick just one thing wrong with it but the doublethink needed to follow the plot is something. It like; all the Mexicans are too lazy to get jobs-they just want handouts, also all the Mexicans are stealing our jobs because they will work 14 hour a day for less money-they are too prideful to take handouts.

The whole thing just goes on like that, page after page after page. It was like the book form of a train wreak, it was hard to look away.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I'm going to nominate Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read up to the point the long rant started and after reading about 30 pages, counted the rest that the rant contained. It was a lot. Put it away and never finished it.

I had the impression throughout that it was words, just being written for the sake of more words!

The movie version of The Fountainhead has some unintentional comedy in it. I especially like when Patricia Neal (Dominque) seems to be getting pussy tingles as she watches Gary Cooper (Howard Roarke) operate a jackhammer - at a quarry, I think.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Worst book ever? That would have to be my Algebra Text Book when I was a freshman in High School. It was my first exposure to a higher math. I struggled to try and understand it, but I did get through it, though I didn't see a need for me to know C=A+BxD. Little did I know at that time that I would become a software engineer.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Worst book ever? That would have to be my Algebra Text Book when I was a freshman in High School. It was my first exposure to a higher math. I struggled to try and understand it, but I did get through it, though I didn't see a need for me to know C=A+BxD. Little did I know at that time that I would become a software engineer.

So do software engineers have to know algebra?

 

[KeithD]

I try not to think in the terms of "worst" in writing, so nothing comes readily to mind. I have edited quite a few self-published novels, though, so there are candidates.

 

[oggbashan]

I can think of a whole category of 'worst':

Ghostwritten 'autobiographies' of minor politicians. They are really hagiographies chronicling minor successes of nonentities. When a second-hand bookseller I was offered the contents of a garage full of books. 2,000 of them were mint copies of the local MP's 'autobiography'. Eventually, I sold about ten at ten pence each.

 

[gunhilltrain]

The Turner diaries. It was one of very few books banned by the local Library. It is a neo-Nazi dystopian novel written by neo-Nazi for neo-Nazi. I kept reading it because of the shear amount of effort I had to go through to get my hands on a copy.

It is hard to pick just one thing wrong with it but the doublethink needed to follow the plot is something. It like; all the Mexicans are too lazy to get jobs-they just want handouts, also all the Mexicans are stealing our jobs because they will work 14 hour a day for less money-they are too prideful to take handouts.

The whole thing just goes on like that, page after page after page. It was like the book form of a train wreak, it was hard to look away.

The Turner Diaries is something of a cult favorite among certain extreme far-right groups. The "Day of the Rope" refers to a day (in 1993, still in the far future then) when white "race traitors" are publicly executed in Southern California. I've seen photos of "The Day of the Rope" graffiti in Los Angeles.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

In the vein of "this book was really popular, and I think it's terrible", I nominate 'Where the Crawdads Sing'.
The author is a naturalist who clearly knows more and cares more about birds and other fauna than she does describing realistic human beings. The plot wants to be convoluted and suspenseful but it's really just melodramatic. And she spends 99% of the book painstakingly and repetitively showing the main character acting in a certain way, only to have a surprise reveal at the end that she, in one particular instance, did something completely against her described nature, and in the most convoluted way possible. The characters were caricatures, the dialogue was painful, and yet it was a bestseller and is supposedly being made info a movie.

I'm sure it's not the worst book ever, but it's definitely the worst I've read in a long time.

 

[Plane_Guy]

I've never read "the worst book ever" but I have gotten into some challenging reads.

For Whom the Bell Tolls and Moby Dick to name a few.

 

[Agiel]

I’ve never read a bad book because as soon as I’ve realised that I’m not enjoying it I’ve ditched it. I can’t remember any of them, title or author, because immediately afterwards I erased that information from my memory.

Why would anyone read, to the end, a book they weren’t enjoying? The belief it was somehow going to get better?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So do software engineers have to know algebra?

Yes, we do. We are always looking for the results of equations. But to be fair, my first job was as an actuarial programmer. If you want to the know the mortality adjusted death benefit of a life insurance policy on an annual basis for a 40 year old male in good health, I can do that for you.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I've never read "the worst book ever" but I have gotten into some challenging reads.

For Whom the Bell Tolls and Moby Dick to name a few.

I agree that Bell Tolls was a tedious slog. The story was actually pretty good but the writing purposely devoid of pronouns and reading Robert Jordan's full name a dozen times on each page certainly distracted from the enjoyment. The irony of it is that Hemingway was lauded for his efficient style, yet for this title he somehow decided to do the complete opposite.

On the other hand Moby Dick read like a breeze. I found it rather delightful and quite charming.

 

[Plane_Guy]

I agree that Bell Tolls was a tedious slog. The story was actually pretty good but the writing purposely devoid of pronouns and reading Robert Jordan's full name a dozen times on each page certainly distracted from the enjoyment. The irony of it is that Hemingway was lauded for his efficient style, yet for this title he somehow decided to do the complete opposite.

On the other hand Moby Dick read like a breeze. I found it rather delightful and quite charming.

I had never read Hemingway before reading this one. I read a few synopsis of his books online (read into this similar to watching a trailer to see if you'll like a movie) and decided that a war story would be an interesting read. As you said, very tedious. His other works might be better, but I've not read any others. Bad first impression I guess. I might revisit him at some point, but there's a lot of other authors I've got on my list first.

Moby Dick, to me, read like Dracula. it was a bit too much like a diary. "Today we did this...". "Today we traveled here, no whales...". I expected a bit of a different story, so my not enjoying it probably has a lot to do with expectation bias.

 

[R. Richard]

It wasn't a book, but a USA government film about the importance of security. Some guy was trying to pick up a ho in a bar by telling her classified information about the X-99 Combat Aircraft, while some guy in a black inverness cape was writing down the information.
You can laugh, but after watching the film I never tried to pick up a ho in a bar by telling her classified information about the X-99 Combat Aircraft (good boy, good boy.)

 

[KeithD]

Why would anyone read, to the end, a book they weren’t enjoying? The belief it was somehow going to get better?

Well, you see. My wife always kept lists of the books she read and made it sort of a game to read more books this year than last. Then we married and I started keeping lists too. It seemed a good idea to avoid rereading books I didn't remember having read until I'd invested in thirty-five pages of read. Then we started making a game of reading more than the other in the year. Which meant, of course, I can't put a book down that I've started to read or I can't put it on the list and will have wasted that reading time. So, if I start it, I finish it, no matter how bad I find it to be.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

I'm going to limit my answer to authors that should have known better.

The one that came to mind was Stephen King's "Needful Things".

It was just... terrible. I haven't bought another of his books since that one. I have a friend who kept going with him. He made the comment that "King wrote out all his demons and now he has nothing left to write about."

The sad part is that anything he writes is going to make a mint, so he'll keep getting published no matter what.

Agreed.
Stephen King got so successful that his editors stopped correcting him, and his work went down hill fast. A lot of his later stuff would be great if it was written with about 1/3 the word count.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

Probably a controversial nomination, but; Catcher in the Rye.
All the trees killed to force that twaddle upon defenseless adolescents. Wanton cruelty. If I want romanticized story of pathetic, sullen, pointless, adolescent angst, I will reread Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground.

 

[oggbashan]

Yes, we do. We are always looking for the results of equations. But to be fair, my first job was as an actuarial programmer. If you want to the know the mortality adjusted death benefit of a life insurance policy on an annual basis for a 40 year old male in good health, I can to that for you.

That is why my insurance quotes are impossibly high. An elderly disabled male with a terminal disease? - Go away and never darken our door again!

 

[NC_Coastal]

Probably Fitzgerald's "The Beautiful and Damned." I was required to read it in college. It was so bad, I didn't read Gatsby until a few years ago. Which I loved, ironically.

 

[mordbrand]

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