Lit Love Letters

[crazychemgirl]

write a love letter to your Lit crush … but with a twist!

Use a style from “olden times” as if you two are separated and letters are you only means of communicating…


Examples:

“I must inform you that your manhood is indeed the perfect length and I am in need of it on the regular forthwith.

Yours truly,

Gertrude"


OR


“My Dearest Jebediah,

Allow me to please assuage your curiosity as to the foreign instrument you observed near my bedside...”

 

[crazychemgirl]

“My Dearest Dyslexic Litster,

It is with the utmost sincerity and pleasure that I take up my pen to convey a sentiment which has long been forming in my heart. I am compelled to inform you that your company brings me immense joy, and I find great amusement in your delightful wit and engaging manner.

Rest assured, I shall be most eager to continue our correspondence for as long as it remains your wish, for such an exchange of thoughts and affections is, to me, a source of true happiness.

Moreover, permit me the liberty to add, with all due respect and admiration, that I hold your countenance in the highest regard, finding it exceedingly agreeable.

Yours most affectionately,

CCG”

 

[crazychemgirl]

It’s up to you if you want to tag the Litster your letter is intended for … or use a nickname … or just leave it generic.


Have fun with it all …

 

[crazychemgirl]

“My Dearest Book Club Ladies,

How shall I adequately express the depth of my admiration for each of you? Truly, I am in awe of your remarkable beauty, both in form and spirit, and your delightful humour never fails to bring joy to my heart.

I count myself most fortunate to be blessed with your friendship, which I cherish more than words can convey. Your presence enriches my life in ways that I can scarce describe, and for this, I am profoundly grateful.

Yours ever affectionately,

CCG”

 

[UnquietDreams]

So you are asking me to get wordy?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

She most assuredly is good Sir.

 

[Tallulah82]

Ooooooh! I like this!

I'll be back.

(That was not the love letter, calm down).

 

[crazychemgirl]

My Dearest @MindYaBitness,

It is with the utmost reverence and admiration that I must confess—your beauty has left an indelible impression upon my heart. Your form is truly a vision of loveliness, and I find myself profoundly honoured to have been granted the privilege of your massive tits.

The memory of that cherished moment lingers with me, a tender reminder of the sublime connection we share.

Yours ever devotedly,

CCG

 

[crazychemgirl]

“My Esteemed @Mr_bogey,

It has been an age since last I was graced with the sight of those cherished depictions of your feet, and I must confess, the prolonged absence has cast a certain melancholy over my spirits.

Might I dare to hope that you will indulge me this week with a most generous offering—a full display, as it were, on this forthcoming Friday? Such a gesture would surely restore my cheer and be received with the deepest gratitude.

Yours most ardently,

@OrdinaryPerson & CCG

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Dearest person of the Lit persuasion,

My darling, my dearest love. I wish and pray this letter finds you well and in the proper spirits. These nights in the trenches are quite lonely and as the yonder moon rises I am greeted with the most bitter of cold.

It is fortunate that, in lieu of your own presence, I am blessed to have a most welcome of presence. I naturally speak of your mother. We have had what scholars may call the most carnal of relations. I have found warmth in the very garden that sprung forth YOU, my love.

I ask, please handle this news with the maturity of which I know you to be capable of.

Also I think I gave you typhoid. Sorry about that.

Love,

NRJ (written in cursive and stamped with one of those ring things)

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

“My Esteemed @Mr_bogey,

It has been an age since last I was graced with the sight of those cherished depictions of your feet, and I must confess, the prolonged absence has cast a certain melancholy over my spirits.

Might I dare to hope that you will indulge me this week with a most generous offering—a full display, as it were, on this forthcoming Friday? Such a gesture would surely restore my cheer and be received with the deepest gratitude.

Yours most ardently,

@OrdinaryPerson & CCG

Yeah, feet are gross

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

My dearest of Litster friends and ye olde aquiantances,

I send news and information, dearest of fellows.

I wish to tell you that your mother is of such enormous purchase that wense she steps foot on her front steps she is IN FACT on her back porch.

Also we have had relations.

Dearest regards,
NRJ

 

[UnquietDreams]

My dearest Most High,

Words cannot adequately convey how I have missed your presence, long desired one. My heart has been desolate, a cold and deserted place, an icy hearth without the passion of your presence. Hours have I scoured the tomes we both enjoyed to find a way to draw you back to me. I can only hope my quest has been fruitful.

I was looking at an old friend of ours, John Donne. This is one of his very early poems, and some argue his first true poem. It was published in his Songs and Sonnets, and is often referred to as a sonnet, but it does not follow the classic definition in structure, though it may in spirit. Regardless of the labeling of it, it is a beautiful piece of poetry. Labels are often used but rarely important. Labeling you and me, for example, would be folly. And where I love folly as well as the next man, we are in serious work, my most beauteous, my most desirable, my Most High...

But enough of that! Back to Master Donne's poetry. This poem refers to the Seven Sleepers, which was a legend of seven children who were fleeing persecution under the Roman emperor Trajan Decius. These seven innocents fled to a cave and slept for 200 years until they were safe. Two hundred years abed, Most High! Were it not blasphemous, I would consider what we could do with such a time alone. Ah, but it is blasphemous, so I shall not. Well, just for a moment. No, I shall think on it no more.

And Donne would understand because at its heart, this is the poem of a man awaking to look upon his lover in his bed. Probably not for 200 years, but there you are, Most High. His wonder at looking upon his love makes him understand that new worlds had no worth to him, only the world then made together. It is a beautiful thought, is it not, most beautiful lady?

“The Good-Morrow”

“I wonder, by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved? Were we not weaned till then?
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers’ den?
’Twas so; but this, all pleasures fancies be.
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, ’twas but a dream of thee.
---
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres,
Without sharp north, without declining west?”

I could also go into the meaning of maps, and cartography, and whether he was looking at Mercator projection maps or cordiform maps –which are in the shape of a heart– and all the details, but truly, what matters is the love, the couple, and the poem. All the rest is naught but minutia –lovely, in their way, but distractions. The beauty here is in the basics.

The basics and the bed. For two hundred years. Can you imagine, Most High?

I surely...shouldn't.

Until next time, Most High, I am your humble, your adoring, your enamored, your most ardent servant,

Unquiet Dreams.

 

[lavendersilk]

My dearest of Litster friends and ye olde aquiantances,

I send news and information, dearest of fellows.

I wish to tell you that your mother is of such enormous purchase that wense she steps foot on her front steps she is IN FACT on her back porch.

Also we have had relations.

Dearest regards,
NRJ

 

[crazychemgirl]

Ok wow… @UnquietDreams … a lady would die of dysentery while reading that long of a letter

 

[UnquietDreams]

Ok wow… @UnquietDreams … a lady would die of dysentery while reading that long of a letter

A lady would be drinking delicate wine while reading such a long letter, not despoiled water.

 

[dawn_of_night]

-- -.-- / -.. . .- .-. . ... - / .... --- --..-- / .. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / -- .

 

[lavendersilk]

A lady would be drinking delicate wine while reading such a long letter, not despoiled water.

Room temp?

 

[UnquietDreams]

-- -.-- / -.. . .- .-. . ... - / .... --- --..-- / .. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / -- .

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / - --- --- --..-- / ... .-- . . - .... . .- .-. - / ... - --- .--. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... --- / ... - --- .--.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Room temp?

Red or white? Effervescent would not be amiss, and that should be chilled.

 

[dawn_of_night]

Red or white? Effervescent would not be amiss, and that should be chilled.

Was there ice then???

 

[UnquietDreams]

Was there ice then???

Fifteen minutes ago? Yes.

Unless my kid used it all, which is somewhat likely...

 

[UnquietDreams]

Ooooooh! I like this!

I'll be back.

(That was not the love letter, calm down).

*Swoon*

 

[dawn_of_night]

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / - --- --- --..-- / ... .-- . . - .... . .- .-. - / ... - --- .--. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... --- / ... - --- .--.

-- -.-- / -.. . .- .-. . ... - / .... --- --..-- / .. / .... .- ...- . / ... . . -. / - .... . / -. . .-- / -- --- --- -. --..-- / -... ..- - / -. --- - / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- / .. / .... .- ...- . / ... . . -. / ... ..- -. ... . - ... / .- -. -.. / ... ..- -. .-. .. ... . ... --..-- / -... ..- - / -. --- - .... .. -. --. / --- ..-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -... . .- ..- - .. ..-. ..- .-.. / ..-. .- -.-. . .-.-.- / - .... . / .--. .. . -.-. . ... / --- ..-. / -- -.-- / -... .-. --- -.- . -. / .... . .- .-. - / .- .-. . / ... --- / ... -- .- .-.. .-.. / - .... .- - / - .... . -.-- / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / -... . / .--. .- ... ... . -.. / - .... .-. --- ..- --. .... / - .... . / . -.-- . / --- ..-. / .- / -. . . -.. .-.. . .-.-.- / .. / -- .. ... ... / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. .. -.- . / - .... . / ... ..- -. / -- .. ... ... . ... / - .... . / ..-. .-.. --- .-- . .-. -.-.-. / .-.. .. -.- . / - .... . / ... ..- -. / -- .. ... ... . ... / - .... . / ..-. .-.. --- .-- . .-. / .. -. / - .... . / -.. . .--. - .... ... / --- ..-. / .-- .. -. - . .-. .-.-.-

 

[dawn_of_night]

Fifteen minutes ago? Yes.

Unless my kid used it all, which is somewhat likely...

You ruined my joke, I hope your nose hurts like water has passed it through.....