My former partner was an openly gay man who never pressured me into coming out. In many ways I wish he had but it was understood I was too afraid and had too much to lose by coming out of the closet. There were daring times in public and I relished the risk of being found out. Has anyone else kept their private lives secret for the erotic thrill of living dangerously?
Does the risk of being outed turn you on?
- Thread starter Ciceri
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please explain
AlexBailey
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I had fantasies about being outed as a enby CD, and what a great day it was when it happened. 
Most of my kinky side is still closeted and it’s fine. That kind of stuff doesn’t really need the light of day.
Most of my kinky side is still closeted and it’s fine. That kind of stuff doesn’t really need the light of day.
We flew to San Francisco one year and visited the Folsom Street Fair. He wore his leathers and I wore just a leather jockstrap and a hood as to remain anonymous. He led me around by a leash attached to my collar. After an hour I was much more at ease but the hood was really heating up in the sun. It was my idea to remove the hood. As I said, I was at ease and feeling like I was in a supportive community. A month or so later I was looking online at photos of the event and there I was in all my glory. A copyrighted stock photo (for sale) of me and Robert. Anyone who's familiar with me would recognize me right away. At first I was mortified. Then I warmed up to the idea and was soon aroused. That's what I mean about the erotic novelty of being in the closet
AlexBailey
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I get that.
I like it when people tell me they were surprised to find out I sometimes present as femme. I often push the lines of gender conformity in public but I don’t usually shatter them except at festivals or special events.
It’s a rush when I hear some saying “did you see what Alex was wearing at that show?!”
My wife doesn't know I crossdress. She has seen pics of me at a Halloween party dressed as a woman (and said I was more than passable) but I blew the chance to come out. Maybe somedayI get that.
I like it when people tell me they were surprised to find out I sometimes present as femme. I often push the lines of gender conformity in public but I don’t usually shatter them except at festivals or special events.
It’s a rush when I hear some saying “did you see what Alex was wearing at that show?!”
Same. Wife knows everything. Play partners as well. Some friends know I'm bi. Some friends we met specifically in the swinging lifestyle, but don't actually swing with, know about being bi and crossdressing sometimes. I'm in an LGBT resource group at work but haven't explicitly specified whether I'm part of or just an ally.
Have not told parents. Mom would maybe be accepting(but very worried as her gay brother died of AIDs) but dad definitely not.
I do like a bit of exhibitionism like being pegged at a swing club in an open room to sort of advertise I'm willing to bottom if it's not an outright bi night.
So if I was outed unintentionally it wouldn't be a huge deal other than straining relations with my father. Don't really get off on the thought of that.
Have not told parents. Mom would maybe be accepting(but very worried as her gay brother died of AIDs) but dad definitely not.
I do like a bit of exhibitionism like being pegged at a swing club in an open room to sort of advertise I'm willing to bottom if it's not an outright bi night.
So if I was outed unintentionally it wouldn't be a huge deal other than straining relations with my father. Don't really get off on the thought of that.
Neither o f my parents are accepting or even close to being unconditional. My sister is a lesbian and was living with her partner for a few years before trying to tell our dad she's gay. He stopped her mid-sentence and told her he didn't want to know. "Keep it to yourself," he said. So she did.
SPARTAN047
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Heck yes! In a way. I imagine that even the people who don't like me coming out change their minds and fuck me too.
Of course that'll never happen IRL so I don't really want to be outed.
Of course that'll never happen IRL so I don't really want to be outed.
They would hate fuck you. Take this fat dick, you bitch!
SPARTAN047
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'In your mouth and dirty slutty boi pussy! Filthy little cum dumpster. Let's pass her around to our friends!'
In reality they'd beat me up and leave me dying on the street, so that's why I wouldn't really want it to happen.
You are probably right. The ones who would be the most hateful would be the ones who are fighting the same desires and hating themselves for it.
SPARTAN047
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That's sort of true, a lot of homophobes might be closet homosexuals, but the consequences of that hate will affect everyone around them until they figure things out for themselves.
I've noticed that even the women who hate us sometimes look at our kind of porn and want to dress like us. Not me, I'm a very bad example, but the top tier trans women can surpass cis women sometimes. Which is kind of hilarious.
It's a sad thing really, this kind of misdirected self-hatred.That's sort of true, a lot of homophobes might be closet homosexuals, but the consequences of that hate will affect everyone around them until they figure things out for themselves.
I've noticed that even the women who hate us sometimes look at our kind of porn and want to dress like us. Not me, I'm a very bad example, but the top tier trans women can surpass cis women sometimes. Which is kind of hilarious.
Flanast
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While on vacation in Mexico, I let my then gf borrow my iPad. I hadn’t realized that messages deleted on my iPhone didn’t automatically delete on my iPad which I didn’t use very often. While using my iPad by the pool (I was in the room), she came upon a messages between my and a guy I had been seeing for many years. Very explicit descriptions on my on my knees while he fucked my mouth, me in a pink collar and leash crawling on my knees and taking his cock in my ass. I was so embarrassed when she confronted me with it; my worse nightmare I thought. But then soon thereafter, I was very turned on that she knew I was a sissy cocksucker. She got over it for the rest of the vacation but we didn’t last long after that.
I grew up in the 70's and from a strict Italian Catholic family with two very homophobic older brothers as well as many uncles and a grandfather that were well let's say well above and beyond homophobic, now back then considering myself gay outing was out of the question. I broke with a guy back then as a teenager and it was because he wanted to bring another person to be with us and that just threw me another person would be just that another that could out me so I drifted away from him.
I lived my life scared someone would on day find out, however I dated girls and married as I found I enjoyed both sexes so I guess I was bi. All that being said if I was born in a different era I would have maybe outed myself and I may have never married and been happy sucking and fucking other guys. Now after being married over 40 years to a wife who never knew of my past outing myself is never going to happen although I do from time to time dream about it and the thought of outing myself does create an issue that needs tending to!
I lived my life scared someone would on day find out, however I dated girls and married as I found I enjoyed both sexes so I guess I was bi. All that being said if I was born in a different era I would have maybe outed myself and I may have never married and been happy sucking and fucking other guys. Now after being married over 40 years to a wife who never knew of my past outing myself is never going to happen although I do from time to time dream about it and the thought of outing myself does create an issue that needs tending to!
I was brought up in an Italian family where my uncle is a priest. I was told oftentimes one of the sons in a big family was expected to join the priesthood. Maybe the same is true for women in the family to join a convent. But it was sort of a way for the son who knew at an early age he'd never marry a woman and wasn't attracted to women - to have an out, so to speak. I'm almost sure my uncle is gay. That's okay. I nearly joined the priesthood for the same reason
That would have been mortifying. I mean, it's bad enough t o have a spouse read an email from an ex-gf or whatever but an email from a guy..about sex? Oof! I'm glad you came to terms with that
I can understand that, although I didn't have anyone in my family in the priesthood I was made to be an alter boy for many years so I can kind of feel where you were at. Myself as I said may have grown up very different if not for the 70's and the family thing, then when aids came about I guess I told myself maybe it was another reason not to travel that road so at that fork of the road I traveled to where I am at now, but I do sometimes wonder where I would be today if I continued with something that was a great enjoyment of mine, almost confessing my love for that boy I broke away from for fear of being outed!
I dressed in my mom's clothes and would often play dress-up with my older sister's friends. I think that's why my parents would suggest the priesthood from time to time. But I loved females and always seemed to have them following me around school. They knew what they liked. They weren't telling me to become a priest!
I guess that makes sense of why they may have tried to steer you into that and glad you never made the decision to go into it, I mean you may have been another black eye on the Catholic religion, LOL sorry had to!
