Tales from the front lines

[DeservingBitch]

As for the "men asking permission" conversation.

My professor, almost radical feminist may I add… (for credibility purposes), she told me in the modern age men actually have it harder then women.

To sum up her point quickly. When men are single they are expected to be aggressive, go out, sweep the girl off her feet, and fuck around a lot… as well as have no feelings or soul. Then when they get married they are suppose to work along side women, take care of kids, be emotional and understanding, etc.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting and relevant.

Hope that makes some sense because I can’t get myself to concentrate!!

I call massive bullshit on that.

Most men being screwed up by the sexist world we leave in, being held to impossible and ridiculous expectations of 'masculinity', yes i agree on that.

Men being fed lies about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, yes, like women are.

But men suffering more than women from the sexist world we live in? Give me a fucking break.

It is NOT a coincidence that the majority of sex workers are women.

It is NOT a coincidence that the large majority of victim of rape are women.

It is NOT a coincidence that the large majority of victim of abuse are women.

It is NOT a coincidence that in North America, women make in average 67% of what men do for similar work.

It is NOT a coincidence that the large majority of single-parent and poor households are headed by women.

It is NOT a coincidence that of the poorest 20% of the population, the large majority of them are women and their children.

It is NOT a coincidence that my insurance covers viagra but not the contraceptive pill.

You get my point.

 

[MzChrista]

You guys need to stop asking me what I'd like to do or telling me to do whatever I feel like. You and your balls don't want me to go there. Believe me.

Bwahahahaha! I knew I liked you. A girl after my own heart.

I started working as a pro Domme when I was in college. I was totally broke, working in the lousy cafeteria. My roommate says to me, come with me, you can make a couple hundred bucks a day. She worked at this Massage Parlor/Sauna place out in the boonies, It had a dungeon room set up with a bondage bench and St Andrews. Now I didnt know a damn thing about this stuff, but baby, Im a quick learner. And I dug what I was learning. Mostly it was routine stuff, flogging spanking. Toe suckers. Some golden showers. Middle aged businessmen types mostly. I recognized one professor from my school once, and one of our regulars was this dude who owned a chain of furniture stores and always appeared on TV in his commercials. I cracked up when he came on for years.

Then one of the regulars asked me if he could pay me to go with him to a party.

Holy shit.

Theres a scene? An actual bunch of people doing this for fun? I was in heaven. See, being a pro Domme is great if its just work, but if you start to realize that you dig it, then you have a problem, because as long as hes paying for it, hes in charge. So I met a few people and got involved with some groups, and an amazing Domme took me in as her apprentice. She had the best fucking playroom I ever saw. Her hubby was rich as hell and they lived in this huge house, I guess its fair to say a mansion. And the whoel top floor was playroom. She had it all, every implement you could name, suspension gear, a room made up like a doctors office, another one like a schoolroom.She was a pro and into the scene. So I learned a lot of skills from her and from her friends. And we had a higher class of clients. We even had a couple of women came to us. I worked with her for about a year, and then her and the hubs broke up and she headed out for Europe.

After that I kept on a few clients for a while on my own and still once in a while see a few of the old timers, but now they're like old friends. I dont charge them but they usually bring me a gift or buy me an expensive dinner or something.

 

[MzChrista]

Man Im digging this thread.

When I was on Lit before none of the other women who were sex workers would admit it on the board, except me and SLG. A few would talk to me about it private but always want to keep it secret.

You babes rock.

 

[Wyldfire]

I call massive bullshit on that.

Most men being screwed up by the sexist world we leave in, being held to impossible and ridiculous expectations of 'masculinity', yes i agree on that.

Men being fed lies about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, yes, like women are.

But men suffering more than women from the sexist world we live in? Give me a fucking break.

It is NOT a coincidence that the majority of sex workers are women.

It is NOT a coincidence that the large majority of victim of rape are women.

It is NOT a coincidence that the large majority of victim of abuse are women.

It is NOT a coincidence that in North America, women make in average 67% of what men do for similar work.

It is NOT a coincidence that the large majority of single-parent and poor households are headed by women.

It is NOT a coincidence that of the poorest 20% of the population, the large majority of them are women and their children.

It is NOT a coincidence that my insurance covers viagra but not the contraceptive pill.

You get my point.

I've argued with myself on this post several times. I put it down to the fact that I just recently got home from work and I've spent much of the past ten hours on my feet on stage. But I am going to state that I disagree with some of your "It's not coincidental" points. When I'm not as worn out I'll say why if it's still relevant to the thread.

And yes, I have been and still am in the industry in it's more legal fashion. I used to be in the less than legal way, but I have retired from those.

 

[Wyldfire]

Man Im digging this thread.

When I was on Lit before none of the other women who were sex workers would admit it on the board, except me and SLG. A few would talk to me about it private but always want to keep it secret.

You babes rock.

Some of us aren't too proud of what we've done there. That's the only reason I haven't been as open about it as I could have been.

 

[MzChrista]

Some of us aren't too proud of what we've done there. That's the only reason I haven't been as open about it as I could have been.

Thats cool. You got to set your own limits.

 

[Homburg]

It is NOT a coincidence that the majority of sex workers are women.

That is because men will pay for sex far more readily than a woman will.

 

[MzChrista]

That is because men will pay for sex far more readily than a woman will.

True, but only half an answer. You got to look at why its that way.

 

[Homburg]

True, but only half an answer. You got to look at why its that way.

*shrug* I agree with the statement, and the rest of them. Just saying the basic why. And the answer is both complex and simple at the same time.

Right now, I'm tired enough, and cynical enough, to simply say that we're pigs.

 

[DeservingBitch]

That is because men will pay for sex far more readily than a woman will.

Well, duh.

And do you think it's something in your genes or in your outie that make it so? The commodification of women's bodies/sexuality for the pleasure of men is of course not the entire story (or it would not explained gay male sex work), but it's certainly a big part of the picture. The fact that men are in majority wealthier than women, and that they tend to have more disposable income for 'leisure' than women do are also part of the picture.

I'm also certainly benefiting from this. But that is because I am lucky enough to be in a position where I can take advantage of this fucked up world. Most women in the sex industry are not in that position. And those who benefit the most from the sex industry are NOT in majority women. No matter where you look at it from.

 

[BiBunny]

Well, duh.

And do you think it's something in your genes or in your outie that make it so? The commodification of women's bodies/sexuality for the pleasure of men is of course not the entire story (or it would not explained gay male sex work), but it's certainly a big part of the picture. The fact that men are in majority wealthier than women, and that they tend to have more disposable income for 'leisure' than women do are also part of the picture.

I'm also certainly benefiting from this. But that is because I am lucky enough to be in a position where I can take advantage of this fucked up world. Most women in the sex industry are not in that position. And those who benefit the most from the sex industry are NOT in majority women. No matter where you look at it from.

Yep. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Though I do tend to say, "If they're dumb enough to pay for it, I'm smart enough to let 'em." That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

 

[DeservingBitch]

On another note, my pics are finally up on the agency website.

They are fucking AMAZING. I would pay to have sex with me looking at those pics.

Hopefully, those are going to keep me busy.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Yep. Abso-fucking-lutely.

Though I do tend to say, "If they're dumb enough to pay for it, I'm smart enough to let 'em." That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

Yes yes. That's why I'm saying that I'm lucky enough to be in a position to take advantage of this.

I see it as doing my part in the marxist revolution toward the redistribution of wealth.

 

[Homburg]

Well, duh.

And do you think it's something in your genes or in your outie that make it so? The commodification of women's bodies/sexuality for the pleasure of men is of course not the entire story (or it would not explained gay male sex work), but it's certainly a big part of the picture. The fact that men are in majority wealthier than women, and that they tend to have more disposable income for 'leisure' than women do are also part of the picture.

Women's bodies and commodification thereof is not the sole reason. Gay male prostitutes are plenty popular, and they make money I'd assume. As to disposable money, meh. Plenty of poor guys out there saving a few bucks for some roadside nasty. Yes, the caliber of client you're dealing with is certainly an example of income disparity between the sexes, but it is a niche. Lots of cheap prostitution going on.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Women's bodies and commodification thereof is not the sole reason. Gay male prostitutes are plenty popular, and they make money I'd assume.

Didn't I say that exactly?

As to disposable money, meh. Plenty of poor guys out there saving a few bucks for some roadside nasty. Yes, the caliber of client you're dealing with is certainly an example of income disparity between the sexes, but it is a niche. Lots of cheap prostitution going on.

Yes. While in the case of most poor women, their incomes go toward their children, which women tend to be the primary care giver of. Single-parent households also tend on a large majority to be headed by women. 'Disposable' is the operative word in 'disposable money'.

 

[YourCaptor]

Women's bodies and commodification thereof is not the sole reason. Gay male prostitutes are plenty popular, and they make money I'd assume.

Dude, it’s fucking testosterone, trust me on this. My levels are way out of proportion right now, and furniture is starting to look like it could serious provide some relief. I will spare you the details.

 

[notalwaysweak]

Read http://boobiebar.livejournal.com/. She has great stories about being an exotic dancer.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Actually, on a realistic note, a huge amount of men who pay for it are not paying for it because it is the only way they can get sex...that is a stereotype that IMO rarely rings true. Some pay for it because they travel with work and do not want to spend their hard earned cash and time trying to first wine and dine (or just wine) a woman they meet by chance, hoping it will lead to a bedroom romp, but often finding that after the expenditure of money and time they are left sleeping alone anyway, or with yet another woman demanding more than they want to give. Some pay because they don't want to deal with attitude from a woman, whether it be any woman, their wife, or girlfriend, so to then as a worker carry that air of attitude can seriously lose work and if there is a network where such things are discussed by clients and workers, will lose a lot of new business as well. Some men pay because they get off on the whole idea. Some pay because they want the freedom to be able to ask for what they want without any feeling of guilt and/or obligation. Some pay because their partner is seriously ill and by going to a sex worker they can have their needs met without emotional entanglement and threat to their relationship. And just maybe, what they do want to do is please a woman or believe they have, so if they are prepared to pay for that service, is it so difficult to provide what they have paid and asked for? Just a thought based on what I do know of the industry.

Personally I have long been an advocate of sex work and those who do it, but I also think if is like most professions....you need to be suited to it, want to do it, and enjoy it for it to be a good choice in all ways. On a similar note, I think if respect is there for the client, it will go a long way toward not only making the job more interesting, but also financially beneficial. Sort of like going into a restaurant and getting a waiter/waitress who really doesn't like their job making you feel in any variety of ways that you as a diner are not of great importance to them, not deserving of their time, nor are they about to bother about what service you get....chances are people will not return to dine there again. It's a symbiotic relationship....the clients need sex for whatever reason and are willing to pay for it....the worker needs money for whatever reason and is willing to do sex work to earn it...one pays and is serviced according to what they pay for, the other collects and provides the service paid for...where is the shame or reason for ridicule of either in the relationship?

Catalina

 

[Homburg]

Didn't I say that exactly?

Bah, I shouldn't post that late/early. I left off the sentence that modified the statement. Too late now. *shrug*

Yes. While in the case of most poor women, their incomes go toward their children, which women tend to be the primary care giver of. Single-parent households also tend on a large majority to be headed by women. 'Disposable' is the operative word in 'disposable money'.

I diagree that this is an all-fired major issue. If money were the sole concern, why do we not hear tales of high-end male prostitutes catering to wealthy women? I'm sure they exist, but nowhere near the levels as the female side catering to wealthy males.

If we consider money as the defining factor, remove it from the equation. Your employer deals with men of means. There are plenty of women out there with that sort of money. Why are there less high-end male prostitute services catering to those women?

Personally, I consider money to be a red herring here. It has more to do with other factors. As YourCaptor mentions below, hormonal pressures are a huge factor. Cultural concerns are an issue as well. Let's face it, woman do not have a hard time getting sex. They have a hard time getting sex with something interesting. There are legions of horny men willing to tap anything with a vagina.

In my discussions with single friends, the females that are desperate for sex bemoan the lack of worthwhile potential partners. The males just want someone that says yes.

 

[Netzach]

Bah, I shouldn't post that late/early. I left off the sentence that modified the statement. Too late now. *shrug*



I diagree that this is an all-fired major issue. If money were the sole concern, why do we not hear tales of high-end male prostitutes catering to wealthy women? I'm sure they exist, but nowhere near the levels as the female side catering to wealthy males.

If we consider money as the defining factor, remove it from the equation. Your employer deals with men of means. There are plenty of women out there with that sort of money. Why are there less high-end male prostitute services catering to those women?

Personally, I consider money to be a red herring here. It has more to do with other factors. As YourCaptor mentions below, hormonal pressures are a huge factor. Cultural concerns are an issue as well. Let's face it, woman do not have a hard time getting sex. They have a hard time getting sex with something interesting. There are legions of horny men willing to tap anything with a vagina.

In my discussions with single friends, the females that are desperate for sex bemoan the lack of worthwhile potential partners. The males just want someone that says yes.

Don't you think there's a social taboo against women paying for it?

Don't you think there's a giant wall of fear, both legitimate and imagined against paying for it?

I find that in the end, more men are risk-compatible when staring down a sexual adventure. Women more risk-compatible when staring down a romantic one. We're socialized like that. Women with gobs of money and nothing to do will go down to the hotel bar and fuck someone else's husband who's on the road, rather than pay someone anonymous for it. It's just not an option on the table, really.

 

[Homburg]

Don't you think there's a social taboo against women paying for it?

Don't you think there's a giant wall of fear, both legitimate and imagined against paying for it?

I find that in the end, more men are risk-compatible when staring down a sexual adventure. Women more risk-compatible when staring down a romantic one. We're socialized like that.

Of course there is. There is also a social taboo and wall of fear on the male side as well. We're just, as you said, more risk-compatible.

I'm not trying to define the psychology of johns in a handful of lines. Distilling down human sexuality in that way is a bit beyond me. I just do not consider money to be the defining factor.

 

[Netzach]

I admit it, I have had moments where I am amazed that I am being paid to do whatever I'm doing.

But I like men ok, and I love perverts and talking to them overall. I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of, so that makes it even MORE fun for me to say something like "and don't you think you're just a bit, DISGUSTING, stealing your wife's drawers?"

 

[Netzach]

Of course there is. There is also a social taboo and wall of fear on the male side as well. We're just, as you said, more risk-compatible.

I'm not trying to define the psychology of johns in a handful of lines. Distilling down human sexuality in that way is a bit beyond me. I just do not consider money to be the defining factor.

Agreed. It's a weird cocktail of money and entitlement and sex. I've never known a woman who felt entitled to commodify someone that much as a sexual object, but I've known TONS of women who have no issues commodifying a woman for housework and child care with near slave-status.

 

[Homburg]

Agreed. It's a weird cocktail of money and entitlement and sex. I've never known a woman who felt entitled to commodify someone that much as a sexual object, but I've known TONS of women who have no issues commodifying a woman for housework and child care with near slave-status.

I was with a woman that told me "Oh god, I would pay you to do this to me."

Lying bitch never followed through.

 

[Netzach]

Bwahahahaha! I knew I liked you. A girl after my own heart.

I started working as a pro Domme when I was in college. I was totally broke, working in the lousy cafeteria. My roommate says to me, come with me, you can make a couple hundred bucks a day. She worked at this Massage Parlor/Sauna place out in the boonies, It had a dungeon room set up with a bondage bench and St Andrews. Now I didnt know a damn thing about this stuff, but baby, Im a quick learner. And I dug what I was learning. Mostly it was routine stuff, flogging spanking. Toe suckers. Some golden showers. Middle aged businessmen types mostly. I recognized one professor from my school once, and one of our regulars was this dude who owned a chain of furniture stores and always appeared on TV in his commercials. I cracked up when he came on for years.

Then one of the regulars asked me if he could pay me to go with him to a party.

Holy shit.

Theres a scene? An actual bunch of people doing this for fun? I was in heaven. See, being a pro Domme is great if its just work, but if you start to realize that you dig it, then you have a problem, because as long as hes paying for it, hes in charge. So I met a few people and got involved with some groups, and an amazing Domme took me in as her apprentice. She had the best fucking playroom I ever saw. Her hubby was rich as hell and they lived in this huge house, I guess its fair to say a mansion. And the whoel top floor was playroom. She had it all, every implement you could name, suspension gear, a room made up like a doctors office, another one like a schoolroom.She was a pro and into the scene. So I learned a lot of skills from her and from her friends. And we had a higher class of clients. We even had a couple of women came to us. I worked with her for about a year, and then her and the hubs broke up and she headed out for Europe.

After that I kept on a few clients for a while on my own and still once in a while see a few of the old timers, but now they're like old friends. I dont charge them but they usually bring me a gift or buy me an expensive dinner or something.

I actually did pretty well with clients who wanted me in charge, who were paying for the "Netzach Experience Ride" as I liked to call it.

Show up, we play. How, is up to me.

A lot of them were experienced and had been around and had their scene their way umpteen times and really didn't feel like they'd ever submitted.

The problem I ran into was this:

when you like what you are doing that much, and it turns you on, you can often make really idiotic business decisions and expenditures. Anything can be bought for this business.

I wasn't saving.

Stupid and ultimately untenable.