Receiving cunnilingus - yay or nay?

[redbombr0]

Women of Literotica,

Why is it that so many women are unwilling to receive cunnilingus, but will readily give head to a guy?

I personally love eating women out, but I always have to struggle to convince them to let me. I find it frustrating - they aren't teasing, they are often legitimately confused as to why I would want to, or are pretty against me doing it. Why why why why why????

What about with same-sex couples - are the women in such more willing to receive?

(I realize in advance this may not be the best audience for this question, and might get skewed results in favor, but I figure it never hurts to try and find out why)

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

i've never heard of a women NOT wanting to be eaten. if anything, it's their significant other who doesn't want to go down.

some might have problems regarding yeast infections or odors. they would rather keep it to themselves and not tell their partner.

 

[redbombr0]

i've never heard of a women NOT wanting to be eaten. if anything, it's their significant other who doesn't want to go down.

some might have problems regarding yeast infections or odors. they would rather keep it to themselves and not tell their partner.

Can I hang out with your female friends? hahaha

I have been told by some women that they find their vaginas unattractive or even ugly (reminds me of the Vagina Monologues!), in conjunction with the odor fear.

Ladies, is that also a common concern?

 

[NeverWinterNite]

Can I hang out with your female friends? hahaha

I have been told by some women that they find their vaginas unattractive or even ugly (reminds me of the Vagina Monologues!), in conjunction with the odor fear.

Ladies, is that also a common concern?

Well, as for finding vaginas ugly, I really like the way my vagina looks. Women should be shown all the different ways vaginas can look and no vagina looks the same. They should be proud of what they got.

They are some good sites on the internet to see different vulvas.

 

[NeverWinterNite]

Women of Literotica,

Why is it that so many women are unwilling to receive cunnilingus, but will readily give head to a guy?

I personally love eating women out, but I always have to struggle to convince them to let me. I find it frustrating - they aren't teasing, they are often legitimately confused as to why I would want to, or are pretty against me doing it. Why why why why why????

What about with same-sex couples - are the women in such more willing to receive?

(I realize in advance this may not be the best audience for this question, and might get skewed results in favor, but I figure it never hurts to try and find out why)

I'm never unwilling to receive cunnilingus. I enjoy having a guy pleasure my clit with his mouth. Absolutely love it!!

 

[sereneone4u]

I would PREFER to give head, but only because I love it so much...I would not say no to cunnilingus though. I think my sex looks great, in fact I think women's genitalia looks beautiful, like various sizes and shapes of flowers. It is sad that even in this day and age, women still feel ashamed of their bodies.

 

[MrsMellowCake]

Personally, I don't love it...I can never relax. I feel vulnerable, and very self conscious. I know how my vagina looks, and I have no problem with it. But what if he does? I think vagina issues are very similar to penis issues. Too big, too small, different to his previous partner..and as we all know, us girls all have our own unique taste. What if he doesn't like it? It'd be mortifying if he didn't. I'd rather not add that to my already mile long list of things to worry about.

 

[jennifer036]

I can't imagine the vast majority of women not wanting cunnilingus.

And if I can just stand on my feminist soap box for a moment ... It bothers me that the culture of kids is that blowjobs are expected: at parties, on dates, as thank yous, but far far fewer girls and women receive reciprocation. The stereotype is girls serving boys but what about the other way around? I think it stems from blowjobs being seen as just something we do or have to do but cunnilingus is actually sex and intimate.

Anyway my feminist rant is that cinnilingus rates should equal (or exceed) blowjob rates. Regardlesd of age.

 

[sammiluvscock]

Umm, I like it, but only if done properly, which it often isn't.

 

[Fondelum]

I'm a man who 's to eat. The smell, the taste, the convulsions especially when she comes washing my face. Roarrrrrrrrr Geeeeeeeuhhhhh!

 

[Kyssi1]

I tend to not like to receive as much as I like to give oral. I think that most men think that any contact down there has got to feel good, and usually it doesn't. I've tried to offer suggestions, but then it gets awkward. And I'm not good at pretending I enjoy something when I don't. Once, a guy I was dating spent like 90 minutes down there and refused to believe that I didn't like it. Afterwards, it was uncomfortable and he never tried again (thank goodness). I think it's just a matter of not finding someone that has any idea what he's doing. It just a waste of time, when instead we can be doing something we both enjoy.

 

[Fondelum]

I tend to not like to receive as much as I like to give oral. I think that most men think that any contact down there has got to feel good, and usually it doesn't. I've tried to offer suggestions, but then it gets awkward. And I'm not good at pretending I enjoy something when I don't. Once, a guy I was dating spent like 90 minutes down there and refused to believe that I didn't like it. Afterwards, it was uncomfortable and he never tried again (thank goodness). I think it's just a matter of not finding someone that has any idea what he's doing. It just a waste of time, when instead we can be doing something we both enjoy.

That's honest! I agree, if it isn't feeling awesome then it's clearly time to move on.

 

[HeyItsDani]

I think it's just a matter of not finding someone that has any idea what he's doing.

You know, I've been down on a lot of women and a lot of men, and women are just so individualized in how they like to have oral performed on them, especially as compared to men.

With men, generally, it's 95% the same, 5% individualized technique to get them off, so it's hard not to succeed. With women, it's almost the diametric opposite. It takes some time to learn the nuances of getting a particular woman off. The more experience you have, the better you get at reading the little cues she gives off when you're going down on her, but for someone who just doesn't have that experience, it can be really hard and frustrating to try to figure out. And sadly, they don't offer classes in how to eat pussy (imagine if that was a require course in college during your freshman year! Ha).

Personally, I think it's important to feel (get!) comfortable telling your partner what works for you. If s/he's going down on you and it's just not working, show/tell them what they can do to make it work. I've been known to grab a person's hair and move my cunt around on their face or into their mouth to help myself out a bit even. Sex is a two-way street, and I think it's impractical, given what I mentioned above, to assume everyone's gonna show up at your pussy knowing how to get you off.

 

[Ike_The_Spike]

...
Personally, I think it's important to feel (get!) comfortable telling your partner what works for you. If s/he's going down on you and it's just not working, show/tell them what they can do to make it work. I've been known to grab a person's hair and move my cunt around on their face or into their mouth to help myself out a bit even. Sex is a two-way street, and I think it's impractical, given what I mentioned above, to assume everyone's gonna show up at your pussy knowing how to get you off.

It also helps to have a partner that is secure enough to actually listen to the lady. Younger guys are typically going to be less willing to do that.

 

[HeyItsDani]

It also helps to have a partner that is secure enough to actually listen to the lady. Younger guys are typically going to be less willing to do that.

I don't know that I'd say less willing so much as they let their ego get in the way, which is not an unnatural response. Some of them, if you tell them they're not doing something the way you need it, are gonna have issues with it to be sure. The corollary to what I said about being willing to tell your partner what you want/need is being receptive to your partner telling you what they want/need.

Most people (guys and girls) learn how to eat pussy from watching porn, and with relatively few exceptions, the only reason people even eat pussy in non-lesbian porn is so they can show that "they really do care if the woman gets hers." Even professional lez porn isn't really good at showing the right way to eat pussy, IMO (amateur stuff is in a lot of cases).

Personally, I find it a lot easier to teach another woman how to go down on me than a guy. With a guy I'm always concerned about that ego issue causing him problems. *sigh*

 

[redbombr0]

Personally, I think it's important to feel (get!) comfortable telling your partner what works for you. If s/he's going down on you and it's just not working, show/tell them what they can do to make it work. I've been known to grab a person's hair and move my cunt around on their face or into their mouth to help myself out a bit even. Sex is a two-way street, and I think it's impractical, given what I mentioned above, to assume everyone's gonna show up at your pussy knowing how to get you off.

I want to be friends with you.
Besides my fascination with your technique, I absolutely agree. I have only met two women able to get me off without having to do anything (blowjobs are fun to start, but I can never get off from them). If you or your partner is unwilling to listen, how do you expect to make each other truly feel good?????

And if I can just stand on my feminist soap box for a moment ... It bothers me that the culture of kids is that blowjobs are expected: at parties, on dates, as thank yous, but far far fewer girls and women receive reciprocation. The stereotype is girls serving boys but what about the other way around? I think it stems from blowjobs being seen as just something we do or have to do but cunnilingus is actually sex and intimate.

Anyway my feminist rant is that cinnilingus rates should equal (or exceed) blowjob rates. Regardlesd of age.

I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH YOU

I absolutely agree with you. This is not a feminist rant, this is an attempt to create true equality between genders, to make the inequality of power in a relationship a choice (ex. BDSM, s&m, d&s), rather than a cultural norm.

I have a 1-1 policy, or at least as close as I can get it. I believe in giving as much as I receive if not more.

 

[Kyssi1]

Eh. Some people enjoy things, and some people do not. I did attempt to direct, and I simply did not enjoy it. I don't think there is anything wrong with not enjoying it. It's my personal feeling about it. Now, does that mean I'm unwilling to try it again? Not really. I've always been a fan of trying things I don't like again to see if I've changed my mind about them. (I try olives once a year or so, and I still haven't enjoyed them. Blech.) I do enjoy giving a good blowjob, though. I've never been asked for one or forced to give one or felt obligated to offer one, so I don't think it's a matter of gender inequality. I just like doing it. I think there might be some examples that differ from this (probably lots), but not every blow is an act of submission.

 

[redbombr0]

Most people (guys and girls) learn how to eat pussy from watching porn, and with relatively few exceptions, the only reason people even eat pussy in non-lesbian porn is so they can show that "they really do care if the woman gets hers." Even professional lez porn isn't really good at showing the right way to eat pussy, IMO (amateur stuff is in a lot of cases).

Personally, I find it a lot easier to teach another woman how to go down on me than a guy. With a guy I'm always concerned about that ego issue causing him problems. *sigh*

Understandable point - another woman has the same sexual organs, and know what feels good.

I like reading erotic literature for the very reason that it explains in detail the act of engaging in cunnilingus, instructions in narrative form. Do any of the ladies have a preferred story which details the way they prefer a man to eat them out?

 

[amofiga]

I don't know that I'd say less willing so much as they let their ego get in the way, which is not an unnatural response. Some of them, if you tell them they're not doing something the way you need it, are gonna have issues with it to be sure. The corollary to what I said about being willing to tell your partner what you want/need is being receptive to your partner telling you what they want/need.

Most people (guys and girls) learn how to eat pussy from watching porn, and with relatively few exceptions, the only reason people even eat pussy in non-lesbian porn is so they can show that "they really do care if the woman gets hers." Even professional lez porn isn't really good at showing the right way to eat pussy, IMO (amateur stuff is in a lot of cases).

Personally, I find it a lot easier to teach another woman how to go down on me than a guy. With a guy I'm always concerned about that ego issue causing him problems. *sigh*

So, why are many women reluctant to be open to men about how they would like to be eaten? Are men that negative about wanting to know what their partners like? It's a shame that sex is an area where there is such lack of communication because of embarrassment. If men can't learn from "porn" (is lesbian porn better?) and women are afraid to tell them, then it's a sexual gridlock.

Like someone said, the issue is that people are different in what they like and what turns them on. Men have preferences in how they like their cock sucked (actually most don't really like it "sucked") and women have preferences on how they like to be licked. I hesitate to say "eaten" because that implies "biting and chewing" which, maybe some women actually do like.

So, again I ask, how do we learn? How do we teach? How do we do it with sensitivity and compassion and lack of embarrassment or judgement?

 

[redbombr0]

So, why are many women reluctant to be open to men about how they would like to be eaten? Are men that negative about wanting to know what their partners like? It's a shame that sex is an area where there is such lack of communication because of embarrassment. If men can't learn from "porn" (is lesbian porn better?) and women are afraid to tell them, then it's a sexual gridlock.

Like someone said, the issue is that people are different in what they like and what turns them on. Men have preferences in how they like their cock sucked (actually most don't really like it "sucked") and women have preferences on how they like to be licked. I hesitate to say "eaten" because that implies "biting and chewing" which, maybe some women actually do like.

So, again I ask, how do we learn? How do we teach? How do we do it with sensitivity and compassion and lack of embarrassment or judgement?

Men shouldn't just learn from porn, the issue is that if you are not confident in yourself (not arrogant, but confident) you will never be able to take feedback or criticism and incorporate, hone/develop your technique.

Positive Reinforcement, compliment criticism compliment, is the best way to go. Say "oh yeah baby, that feels good. A little higher. Oh yeah. Ow, not so hard, mmm better." etc etc. (not trying to be funny on purpose, this totally works ladies!!!!!)


ps for the longest time I thought women had pudding in their vaginas, I mean what else would you eat down there? yay imagination hahaha

 

[HeyItsDani]

So, why are many women reluctant to be open to men about how they would like to be eaten?

It's mostly a cultural thing. Women, well, people in general, but women especially are taught that sex is to be hidden, kept under the covers and not discussed publicly. We've always been taught that it's slutty and bad to even think about sex, or to engage in it unless we've just gotten married, in which case it becomes this magical, all wonderful experience that will commit us to our husbands for all eternity. And then there are all of these body and self esteem issues that women have to deal with.

All of that combines to make most women afraid of their own genitals (MrsMellowCake above I believe even admitted she was self conscious about hers, for example), afraid of their own sexuality even. So all of this kind of combines to make women uncomfortable even broaching the subject. This is one of those subjects you could write a book on, really, but that gives you a taste of some of the things behind it. It's hard to get some people over this to the point where they can open up and tell that guy (other woman) to suck on it, bite it lightly, lick it....you get the idea.

 

[HeyItsDani]

ps for the longest time I thought women had pudding in their vaginas, I mean what else would you eat down there? yay imagination hahaha

Dude! I'd never stop if that was the case.

 

[jloboo]

no probs

Not sure whats wrong with the women you live by, but i have never had a problem being eaten and i dont believe any of my girlfriends have either. I wouldnt let just any joe schmo do it. But i have no problem with it

 

[redbombr0]

Not sure whats wrong with the women you live by, but i have never had a problem being eaten and i dont believe any of my girlfriends have either. I wouldnt let just any joe schmo do it. But i have no problem with it

Atlanta.....diverse in some ways, not in others

 

[HeyItsDani]

Not sure whats wrong with the women you live by, but i have never had a problem being eaten and i dont believe any of my girlfriends have either. I wouldnt let just any joe schmo do it. But i have no problem with it

I'd bet everything I own you're wrong.