Does anyone else read here more than you comment....

[Que]

...and if so, why?

I was struck this morning as I browsed looking for a Stella post to snag the link from her sig line.

What suddenly occurred to me is I genuinely enjoy the people here, but feel like an outsider. Not that the people have ever made me feel unwelcome, rather, just nose up against the glass of the sweetshop sort of "outsider."

I was doing a little navel gazing wondering why I feel that way.

I decided that it is because BDSM seems to be from another lifetime.

My predilections have always been there, though I have not always had terms for them. When I was at times happily married we engaged in a lot of different activities and talked and blogged at length about our dynamic in ways that clearly fall under the BDSM headings.

What's missing is having a clear role with a single partner. Not just my sex life, but intimacy in general is catch as catch can these days. Although I am not at all shy about discussing my past, my interests, their interests, etc...most of these topics are pretty tread lightly it seems. Not even really first "date" material, let alone , "Hi!, How you doin'" material.

Interestingly, It seems that most of the things that I like seem to work their way into play with new people in a natural organic way...but since I have no idea how the next interaction might go and what they will bring out in me and I in them, it feels weird to discuss.

Like.. "You know the next time I lasso a unicorn, I'm gonna take that little...."

 

[ecstaticsub]

I read much more than I post anymore. It's mostly because now my relationship includes a third and out of respect for her privacy I keep my mouth shut...usually.

I miss being able to speak out, both here and on Fet.

 

[Que]

I read much more than I post anymore. It's mostly because now my relationship includes a third and out of respect for her privacy I keep my mouth shut...usually.

I miss being able to speak out, both here and on Fet.

hmmm...That's an interesting but sort of happy reason.

When the Ex and I were blogging I liked it a lot. I guess on my wish list if I had one would include a partner that was open about my need to share TMI.

...best though when in doubt though to err on the side of privacy, I expect.

I get that a lot of people wouldn't be comfortable with sharing intimate details even with the anonymity of the internet. Sometimes just having things voiced aloud in the cold light of day is enough to spoil the ethereal magic.

Kind of sad to me though.

 

[Ahlam]

After reading this thread, I clicked away without responding and then chuckled to myself. So, I'm back now.

I read much more than I post. I'm 'here' on Literotica almost every day and follow most of the discussions on the talk forum, although I don't often contribute to them. I don't feel like I have much to add to most discussions and, when I do, other people would say it better. This forum gives me plenty to consider though and I'm always happy to know that there are other kinksters out there getting their kicks. I often feel isolated.

 

[DappleDoxie]

As above ... I read, and follow, and absorb, and smile, and shake my head. But I do not post a great deal. So many have better advice and a better way of words than I.
Being alone, without a partner, and with so many things going on in my life ... I cannot imagine I am alone in that perspective. The community is immense, with but a small percentage of wise voices posting.

 

[Que]

Of all the reasons not to post.."others say it better" kinda deprives us I think. Everyone has their own voice and nuanced phrasing. I like it all.

I hadn't intended this as an "out the lurkers" thread but thats a nice side effect.

I guess I'm nosey. I like to see where people post even if they don't post anything that substantial...it's voyeuristic fun to know what threads caught someone's eye...even if their minimal post isn't ultra-revealing. What people are shy about is interesting.

 

[unregistered]

 

[CutieMouse]

I used to post a lot more than I do now... the whole lawsuit scare with the ex-husband almost 2 years ago taught me to bite my tongue. In reality, I've never recovered; I'm still reluctant to post.

I miss having a place to think out loud, or share advice; I miss having a blog to write in, but I just have to assume it isn't really safe to do so, just in case.

 

[graceanne]

I also used to post a lot more. I'm not entirely sure why I don't anymore. I used to post because this is where my friends were, but now all my friends are also on facebook so I don't have to come here to see how they're doing, so I've gotten lazy.

 

[seela]

I read more than I post.

One reason is that I'm on a completely wrong timezone compared to most other regular posters. I read most threads on Talk but I rarely post anything there, because usually everything I thought of saying has already been said by the time I get there.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I think posting more than you read would be rather annoying behaviour.

I would perhaps be posting a bit more than I do, if it weren't for timezone and language barrier.
I'm a bit lazy too.

 

[seela]

I think posting more than you read would be rather annoying behaviour.

I would perhaps be posting a bit more than I do, if it weren't for timezone and language barrier.
I'm a bit lazy too.

Yeah, the language barrier, too.

 

[LallyH]

I read a lot more than I post, mainly because my experience is limited and therefore I'm not qualified to give an opinion on a lot of subjects. But at the same time, I'm not always comfortable with discussing my private life in public, although if I think I can offer a helpful viewpoint, I may respond in private to a post.

 

[Etoile]

I decided that it is because BDSM seems to be from another lifetime.

Yeah, pretty much this, for me. I'm mostly in a non-sexual relationship right now. All my jerking off is still to BDSM stuff, but I don't really do anything anymore.

 

[midwestyankee]

It is physically impossible to post as much as you read unless you only ever read your own posts and no others.

 

[Ahlam]

I tried to imagine a way to comment more than I read without sounding like the worst kind of yappy poodle, but I could not.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Umm, yes. Just as a guesstimate, I probably read 15-20 posts for every one I make.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Definitely.

 

[MeekMe]

^_^ I've been staring at this thread title for a while now and haven't clicked inside. I read way more than I post. Mostly, I have nothing good to add, or I was reading to learn something myself.

I haven't posted a whole lot lately, but I still think about the board a lot. Usually when I post it's because I actually have some experience, or I'm commenting on something that is completely unhelpful

 

[Que]

Aside from the mathematical necessity of commenting on things that you haven't even read In order for the thread titled to be accurate...it fell far short of explaining what I was wondering.

First, I meant it to be BDSM Talk specific. I think most of you kind of assumed that.

I notice that the numbers viewing versus the numbers of new post seemed skewed from other areas of Lit. Which doesn't make a lot of sense since I find the people in the BDSM Talk area a lot friendlier than say the General Board.

If someone had occasion to stalk my posts, they would notice that I rarely post in BDSM, but don't seem at all shy about piping up in all the other areas. It would lead one to think I don't browse the area as often as I do.

In this area, IF I comment I probably read the entire thread AFTER my post...but that is in line with how I try to keep my contributions uninfluenced (initially) by other respondants. In those cases I had an immediate response in mind from the thread subject.

In the ones I don't comment in, I likely read intently all of the posts on a thread. This is rarely true in other area of lit. I read the initial post, scan through for posters that give me a chuckle usually and read the last few to see if it veered signifigantly.

I guess I meant is your interest in this community at odds with what one might infer by your post frequency.

 

[Ahlam]

Most of my posts are in the BDSM arena of Lit because the people here are relatively polite and there are thoughtful discussions. When I post in other forums, I usually receive a dozen sleezy messages from wankers and the discussions in those post often don't go anywhere.

 

[Endless_Night]

I definitely read more than I post.

I'm typically on the board - BDSM Talk, Cafe, and even the Personals if I'm bored - several days a week, but depending on mood and topics at hand, post little to none.

Hmmm. Several reasons for that, I think. One, as a relative newbie with fairly mild BDSM leanings my experience is limited, so I have little to offer in the way of advice or commentary. Two, I'm a little leary putting too much private info on the web. Its not that I'm particularly shy, just not entirely confident of retaining my anonymity. (Yeah, I'm one of those paranoid technophobes. ) Third, some of the threads seem to devolve into personal wrangles, which, even though occasionally informative, don't interest me much.

That said, I do sometimes consider posting more. If I have a technical issue or want general information, I have no difficulty asking. But being an introspective sort, I'm interested in the numerous emotional and perspective changes that I've seem in myself as I've traveled down the D/s road. I'm often curious if others have experienced the same. But I don't see many threads in that vein so I typically end up talking myself out of posting.

 

[Riles]

Reading has pretty much been it for me on Lit in the past year or so. I go in spits and spurts for posting, but mainly I just click through the pages and no one is ever the wiser to my presence.

Sometimes I find myself even typing out a response to a topic, only to backspace my way right out the door. Not sure why...Lit is a different beast to me now, and I just don't feel certain of my stance or if I even want one.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I read more than I post, across lit. Actually I read and post less, because of job demands. (In my old gig, I could post all day. Maybe that's why it never went anywhere???)

I dearly wish I could post more. Sometimes someone will respond to a post and I will get sucked away by the tradewinds of work, and they probably think I am a jerk, or a snobby cheerleader, and I hate that.

Sometimes I get into a post frenzy, if I have a few hours and a bottle of wine.

I like the people here, and I miss posting more. Sometimes I fantasize about a gathering of this board. With pizza and flogging and an "apples to apples" marathon.

 

[dazed_11]

I've been reading on this site for so, so long...finally made a profile and I guess am attempting to post. Starting out small, as you can see I guess I'm not used to sharing unless I've spoken to someone first, and even then in smaller groups...more of an introvert, I guess?

I also have had issues physically that makes a lot of what I want to do difficult. That's probably why I like reading about others doing it...trying to get ideas on how I can in my position, but to no avail. Maybe one day I'll find that perfect thread, or find the courage to post it myself But making a profile and posting elsewhere are the first steps. One day I'll be up in the thousands of posts...perhaps haha