Occasional same sex encounters- male vs female

[tiny_tits]

We all know Lit is a poor poll sampling place- we are not a true reflection of society. I mean, how often do you even speak the word masturbation, outside of here? Me, next to never. Here, daily.

That being said, I only have here to ask such a question.

Why do you suppose it is more acceptable for a female to be in a heterosexual relationship, desire and fulfill a same sex encounter, then be able to easily step back into the heterosexual relationship?

It's my feeling this would be way more difficult for a male (to have an occasional same sex encounter). I'm not so much talking about society's acceptance (but I'm sure that plays into it) but more the survivability of the heterosexual relationship.

So is my premise correct?

If so, why?

(I didn't post this in the GLBT section because I didn't want just that perspective, this isn't 'How To', and not Playground or GB material)

 

[Jaime_H]

Men understand women finding another woman attractive because we find women beautiful.

I think male sexuality doesn't transfer well to same gender relationships unless they are gay. I think it is the way we are hard wired. Perhaps it is cock envy..

Having said that, we are happy to masturbate to porn when a guy fucks a woman, so there is clearly no aversion to watching naked guys,

Not sure it really answers the question....

 

[bigwoody8]

I agree that we just don't seem to be wired that way. I can't say for sure, but I bet that goes for homosexual men as well. I think it would be just as hard for a homosexual male to step outside his homosexual relationship, be with a woman, and then go back to it.

 

[tiny_tits]

A bit of a confession: I've had 'in the moment' conversations with my boyfriend recently, with the topic of his desire for me to explore this area (me with another woman). I admit its a huge turn on for me as well, though I don't readily admit it to him.

Instead, I've played 'tit for tat', asking for the same. It was a deal breaker.

Funny thing; I'm not even sure I would enjoy seeing that as well, and I was wondering why.

I've seen some gay porn before, and gotten aroused by it, but now the thought of him in that role isn't appealing.

Which brought me to this topic.

 

[Cogan]

I don't think it's about wiring at all (well sometimes it is). I think it's society and porn that feed us from the beginning with the thoughts that it's ok, and even hot and sexy, that girls get together. But boys, they must be gay to even think in those directions.
I don't think there is one "heterosexual" movie were a guy sucks or fucks another guy, but there are several were girls lick pussy and play with each other. I'm sure that if it was more exposed it would be more accepted.

 

[ncheelsmilf]

I've been trying to answer your question in my head for awhile and it's a very good one. I've had the 'occasional' same-sex intimacy and I think it is much more sensual than if I had a boyfriend or if my-ex were to be in a same-sex intimacy situation. Maybe it IS society getting into our brains without us being aware. Or it just might be that we as women can't wrap our head around seeing two men fulfill themselves sexually with each other. I don't know the answer. I might have even muddied the waters or blew it entirely.

 

[tiny_tits]

I've been trying to answer your question in my head for awhile and it's a very good one. I've had the 'occasional' same-sex intimacy and I think it is much more sensual than if I had a boyfriend or if my-ex were to be in a same-sex intimacy situation. Maybe it IS society getting into our brains without us being aware. Or it just might be that we as women can't wrap our head around seeing two men fulfill themselves sexually with each other. I don't know the answer. I might have even muddied the waters or blew it entirely.

Exactly.

 

[TalondeKarrde]

personally a little male male interaction is damn fucking hot in my mind

now perhaps its more to do with

my finding lesbian chicks with a cock

hot enough to want to be

1 a lesbian chick with a cock
2 with (alesbian chick with a cock)


I guess maybe this should also go in the ICT Thread

 

[ozrod]

Hi tt,

Can you just clarify this a bit more? Why are you thinking the survivability of the hetero relationship is in peril? Because he doesn't want to go back to it, or because she won't want him back?

Also, are these one on one deals, or in a threesome.

Cheers, Oz

.

Why do you suppose it is more acceptable for a female to be in a heterosexual relationship, desire and fulfill a same sex encounter, then be able to easily step back into the heterosexual relationship?

It's my feeling this would be way more difficult for a male (to have an occasional same sex encounter). I'm not so much talking about society's acceptance (but I'm sure that plays into it) but more the survivability of the heterosexual relationship.
)

 

[Asian_Flower]

For me, I have always seen females engaged in sex as an art form, living, breathing art. I often watch lesbian erotica with my husband and we both enjoy it very much. Conversely, there is no way I would watch gay male porn. I find it neither stimulating or enjoyable in the slightest.

 

[BaconBot]

For me, I'm just not into dudes. Sorry. It's not going to happen.

For her, I have no problem being in a relationship with a bisexual girl. But as far as her acting on it, it depends on too many factors for me to give you a concrete answer.


This was not a very helpful post.

 

[literot]

A bit of a confession: I've had 'in the moment' conversations with my boyfriend recently, with the topic of his desire for me to explore this area (me with another woman). I admit its a huge turn on for me as well, though I don't readily admit it to him.

Instead, I've played 'tit for tat', asking for the same. It was a deal breaker.

Funny thing; I'm not even sure I would enjoy seeing that as well, and I was wondering why.

I've seen some gay porn before, and gotten aroused by it, but now the thought of him in that role isn't appealing.

Which brought me to this topic.

A lot to think about TT.
If you're not that keen on seeing him with another man and neither is he, then perhaps that shouldn't be the deal breaker. What may be of more significance is the risk of jealousy of watching him perhaps having the fuck of his life while you watch, or you need to set rules about him only having penetrative sex with you no matter what. Perhaps the deal breaker should be that if you include another girl to please him, then the return favour is to include another man but without the expectation of them having sex, just you and him while SO watches.
A lot to think about as I say, and maybe you should experiment on your own with another girl first so you understand the dynamics and can make the event, assuming it's a one-off, extra special.
If it were me I would encourage my SO to try on her own, then introduce a girl into the mix with ground rules clearly set, and finally I would be morally (if that's the right word) bound to allow her a man into the mix.

Having said all that, this is just fantasy for me as it hasn't happened (sob!) but I would be very very careful about how we went about it - it could be a relationship breaker.

Do keep us up-to-date if you decide to venture that way TT and keep those gorgeous pics coming our way!

 

[Aurora6969]

Same sex encounters are something I happily fantasize about... both being with another woman or watching two men together.... and joining in.... but I don't think I'd enjoy it so much in real life. I find it very hot imagining a man sucking another man's cock, but the only mouth I want on my bf's cock is mine! If I was to be involved in a threesome, or experiment with another woman, it would have to be with strangers I think. I wouldn't want to risk the chance of damaging a friendship or relationship just to satisfy a fantasy. That's why I come here.

 

[bill3901]

I think there is as underlying threat to a man's "manhood" to even suggest a gay encounter or even looking at gay porn. You can see how violent the language is when you even suggest it to a guy

 

[scylla14]

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[Shamefull_susan]

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[crash197177]

There is more scrutiny with bisexual males as opposed to females. Even some of my gay friends have a negative view of bi men. Which is probably why I have not shared my own same sex encounter with anyone outside of Lit.

 

[Shamefull_susan]

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[crash197177]

Is it gay or bi if guy only does it in bedroom for fun when his woman there as well but he never do on his own?

Overall, I would say he is bi. But I would also say he is kinky and shy. But if he wants you in the room, then I say join in any way you want. Why should he have all the fun.

 

[tiny_tits]

Is it gay or bi if guy only does it in bedroom for fun when his woman there as well but he never do on his own?

Fuck labels

 

[crash197177]

Fuck labels

Good point. Labels really don't mean much if you are enjoying yourself and nobody is getting hurt along the way. Threesomes can get tricky enough if there aren't boundaries set up beforehand.

 

[tiny_tits]

Good point. Labels really don't mean much if you are enjoying yourself and nobody is getting hurt along the way. Threesomes can get tricky enough if there aren't boundaries set up beforehand.

Exactly. Go with what makes you happy.

 

[crash197177]

Exactly. Go with what makes you happy.

Or feels good at the time.

 

[Shamefull_susan]

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[crash197177]

You missed my point. Did not say he has oral etc with guys at other times and he does not do this with any and every guy that ever has fun with us. He has only done it a few times when I have asked and the other guy has said he did not care, and even then it is just a few moments, not full on BJ's. He has done it because it was something that turned me on in the bedroom at the time. Isn't that what guys try to do and turn their woman on? One day I will return the favour and find a woman to have fun with because I know he would like to see that, but he does not push me into it as he respects me and wants me to enjoy. But maybe this is an age thing as he is much older than me.

Bi-curious may be more appropriate. But I do agree, there is a difference between what one does in the heat of the moment and what one actively goes out in search of. But it sounds like most of us have a level of acceptance and yearning for a same sex encounter. And there's nothing wrong with that.