wicked woman
from my travels
- Joined
- May 3, 2003
- Posts
- 16,022
Like many women, I have mixed emotions about my body. While my body is not made in the image of what's considered beautiful, it has its lovely parts. Of course, if there was a magic wand available, there are a few changes that I would gladly make, but the older I get, part of me gets philosophical and is just happy that it works, more or less, as it should.
I have been fortunate that my lovers made me feel beautiful. Some of them have preferred my body shape, to the more popular, thinner image of beauty. One even loved my belly. Seemed silly to me, but he was endearing in his sincerity. Others may have had a natural attraction to a different body type, but because they loved me, they were attracted to my body. Each, in their own way, made me feel beautiful. I enjoyed seeing my body through their eyes.
To me, the question isn't so much about my body image...it's about whether I'm comfortable being naked. Over time, I've fluctuated over this one. My natural state was being uncomfortable being naked around another. What I found interesting though was during a vacation, in a hot climate by the ocean, when spending my days in a 2 piece bathing suit...even daring to go topless...and nights in a light summer dress without much underneath, I found I became extremely comfortable. The less I wear and the more often I am nude, the more comfortable I am naked. Of course the opposite is true too.
As for sex, while it isn't a requirement to be naked to have sex...it can be delicious to be fully dressed, bent over a sofa, and taken from behind because he wants you now...being naked is often the desired state of dress. It's extremely comfortable for me. I don't give being naked during sex a thought. I'm too interested in enjoying the experience and sensations of our naked bodies.
As far as kink goes, I do recall feeling shy, every time I was told to prepare myself for him. Even though I undressed in the bathroom, the act of being nude, putting on my collar, and preparing to be inspected, made me uncomfortable. I wasn't afraid that he wouldn't find my body to his liking. It was more a part of my internal adjustment to submit to him. To give up my control. Once I was his, that was all that mattered.
Pornography has nothing to do with my body image. Neither does the fashion world. Those images are not meant to reflect the average woman. No more than the tall, dark, muscle ripped images of men reflect the average man. The only difference is some women are taught that their main value is in their youth and beauty, while men are taught they are valued by their accomplishments. I was fortunate that my parents instilled a more traditional male attitude in me. My value as a person has nothing to do with my looks. I don't expect to see women who look like me in porn. I can like or not how they look. Like others have said, I'm more drawn to a sentiment expressed or an act portrayed than their body image.
