21 May 2001: Vanished Ch1-23 By Suzy Samuels

[KillerMuffin]

Re: niten's thoughts...

WH mentioned the shortness of your chapters, and I agree with him. I felt as if I was reading paragraphs and not chapters. You have the potential to combine many of them, and not have the reader feel as if they have to read “so many chapters.”

You have a good theme, but I feel it could be less intimidating to the reader of there were less chapters and a bit more punch in each one.

Tell me where your size limit is. Show me where you gave her a magic number for chapter length. All I am seeing is your take that the chapters were incomplete once they'd been cut down to fit into a stupid fuck's predetermined chapter mold.

Oh my gawd N, you aren't stupid. This entire argument is completely stupid, makes absolutely no sense, and ought to be judiciously deleted by the moderator.

Fuck me and fuckin horse I rode in on *grumble*

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Re: niten's thoughts...

Oh my gawd N, you aren't stupid. This entire argument is completely stupid, makes absolutely no sense, and ought to be judiciously deleted by the moderator.

Nope, I'm not going to delete it, I enjoy a good cat fight. Especially when it's educational.

NItengale, You keep saying to go back and read the thread. I suggest YOU do that too because you have over-reacted to KM's intial comment about the anonymous person (who hasn't posted on this thread that I know of) who advised Suzue to keep each chapter under 3000 words and taken it personally.

Everyone who has commented on the chapter length has said they are too short, and that a "magic number" doesn't exist to define how long they should be. Some of us were more passionate about it than others.

This argument between you and KM is educational however so I'm leaving it intact.

The point that author's can gain from this little bout of negativity is that when they get too passionate and defensive about their words (either in a story or in a discussion) they can overlook important advice and commentary.

Some critics and commentators are going to be rude, harsh, or even abusive. My first story was a nonconsent story, and I got some very abusive feedback on it. Stripped of the vehemence and vitriol, that feedback provided some very useful insights into what baggage readers at this site bring to the stories as they read them.

If the budding authors who come here to learn something, don't learn anything else, they need to learn that passionate people sometimes say things in a way that impedes communication and an effort is required to break through the passion to the meat of the feedback.

 

[Suzie Samuels]

What others think

Hi,

I really do appreciate your comments and will seriously look at reworking it to incorporate some of your suggestions.

BTW, I have had 68 off-line comments to my Vanished series. There have been a couple (and I do mean a couple) that told be I must be a sicko to write it but most have been absolutely glowing. I really appreciate them taking the time to write me as I really value and feel honoured that my story was chosen for this discussion group.

Keep it coming guys, you are helping me learn my craft.

Suzie

 

[Sonia_de_Beaumanoir]

I like this forum very much, and hope to have one of my efforts included some day, so I want to contribute in turn. I don't think "cat fights" serve our needs very much.

As to category, the length of the entire story seems to force it into the N&N space. Therefore whether it is BDSM or NC or ?? doesn't seem relevant. If you wanted to assign each chapter to a specific category, then I would definitely say that it would be NC, at least for the parts I've had time to read.

As to chapter length, I agree that the story itself should determine where to cut. In this case, I think a good division of the opening would be to end where she awakes to find herself tied up and not knowing where she was. I would certainly have wanted to read the next part. This is like old movie serials with "cliffhanger" endings for each episode.

When the heroine introduces herself in Ch 1, I thought most of the personal history seemed extraneous or at least too long, since none of it seemed relevant to her later situation. Perhaps concentrating more on her personality would be better, and could tighten the introductory parts.

Final thought: I dislike reviews where the tone of the comment is that the reviewer doesn't like the subject matter or that the heroine doesn't react like the reviewer. It is the author who sets the agenda, not the reviewer. </rant> Go for it Suzie!

 

[Suzie Samuels]

It is not stork

Hi,

First thanks to all for setting the arguing aside. I didn't want that to be what made up thread.

I will certainly use all of your suggestions to some extend and I am making chapter 24 longer (currently working on it). I will let it break naturally.

I have an idea how to add demension to Geoff but it will be later in the book unless I can figure out how to rework an earlier chapter to incorporate it. It came from an independent reader who wrote me.

I am disappointed that the discussion about my story died because of the harsh words.

A special thanks to niten gale who wrote off line to apologize for the prob. I really appreciated it.

Sonia thanks for your encouragement to be true to myself.

Suzie

 

[Suzie Samuels]

It is too bad I didn't proof that last one?

Hi,

I am sorry I mispelled "stroke". Must be more careful.

Suzie

 

[Lynn]

Addition of sex: I think it's unnecessary to add it to the front simply to placate readers who might drop out. The story, though I thoroughly loathed it, is well written and the characters are defined and three dimensional. Sex at the beginning of a story just to draw a reader in cheats the story.

Trying to get back to the story itself - may be too late, but I was out most of last week and just got back.

KillerMuffin - I agree with you that sex just to placate the reader just to draw them in is not necessary, but I think that since solo sex was offered up in the beginning, more details could have been stressed or elaborated on.

I also didn't feel that the female lead was a three dimensional character - or at least not by the third chapter. See my previous post (way back before the MALE PENIS SIZE - err I mean chapter size discussion took place).

Love you all, keep up the dialogue on the stories, please.