29 F sub Looking for training

[kwells548]

Hi there.

I'm an intermediate sub, looking for a master. I live on the East of the US, so someone in the US would be ideal, but not necessary. I'm looking for a dom, between the ages of 25-50.

I've posted a similar ad a couple of times, yet nothing has come from those experiences. A long term relationship is not a necessity. This is due to the nature of the training I'm looking for which is rather specific to be honest. I'll explain after I find someone worthy of talking to me.

My limits are: Pics, Cam, Phone, Bodily fluids, family, blackmail, anal

Likes: bondage, public, training, orgasm denial/chastity

If there's any questions about those limits, feel free to PM me. I am willing to try new things, to please my dom. I've had some experience, but I know what I'm looking for.

I know I'm not being specific, but I do know what I'm looking for and its a particular type of training. I'll be willing to provide more information once I see you are no going to give me a one-liner which will turn me off you.

I hope to hear from someone soon, please let me know via PM, and I shall message you my yahoo messenger details if I think that we should talk more.

 

[Prince Albert]

PM sent, would love to chat if you are still looking!!

 

[Primalex]

I've posted a similar ad a couple of times, yet nothing has come from those experiences.
[..]
I'll explain after I find someone worthy of talking to me.

There might be a correlation in there.

My limits are: Pics, Cam, Phone, Bodily fluids, family, blackmail, anal

So getting wet is a limit for you?

Fine, I can totally not make you get wet. I'm a master in turning off women, trust me!

 

[TJReilly]

Kwells548

One reason you may be having trouble finding a Master/Dom, is that even though you are an intermediate sub, you have not yet learned proper etiquette. When you refer to yourself, you capitalize the letter “I”, yet when you refer to the Master/Dom you are seeking, you refer to him in lower case. (master, dom) This is disrespectful; before you even begin training, you have already placed yourself above your Master/Dom.

In written communication, nouns and pronouns referring to the sub are always in lower case. Nouns and pronouns referring to your Master/Dom always begin with upper case letters. As a sub, is it both your right and responsibility to set your limits and select the Master/Dom that is right for you; however, if you are going to attract the Master/Dom you need, you must approach him with respect.

 

[Barber_o_Saville]

I agree with TJ; you say that your an intermediate sub, looking for a master? But you still need some training on proper etiquette.
First a sub doesn't refer to herself in the first person - "I" - is not in your vocabulary - "This Sub", "This little one", or "This lonely sub/slave".
Second always refer to a Dom/Master/Sir with the capatializing the first letter of Dom/Master/Sir any and everytime you discuss wanting a New Dom/Master/Sir.
Third - as a sub setting your hard limits, but over time your Master may know you better than yourself, so be open to knew ideas and experiences.

If you would like to discuss your renewed training send me a PM and we will discuss it.

Barber_o_Saville

 

[kwells548]

Wow... You two would be two of the doms that take themselves too seriously... Proper etiquette eh? If I was looking for a sub I'd rather have one that didnt butcher the English language. Yes you can do what you guys said without butchering the English language, but it would be stupidly hard to read.

Disrespectful eh? I'm not your sub nor would I want to be with your attitude. Gosh I am a human being. While I may want to do things that a "normal" human would not. That does not take away from me being human.

I think you are being disrespectful to me. Is it not the job of the dom to make so that the sub has fun too? Some doms forget that in two seconds a sub can decide to leave and thus leave you subless. One of my favorite quotes is: "Even chained, down on her knees, begging for mercy, it is the woman, finally, who is in command ... the all powerful slave, dragging herself along the ground at her master's heels, is now really the god." ~ Pauline Reage. How true is that?

Both of you need a reality check shessh.

 

[TJReilly]

This is one of the problems a Dom encounters when considering taking on a sub is women, (and sometimes men), who think they want to be submissive, but in reality aren’t capable. You need to think about whether you want to be a sub, or whether you want to role-play. Nothing wrong with either, but there is a world of difference between role-playing, and being R/L submissive.

You are right, the sub does have the right to leave anytime she chooses; however, the Dom has the power to dismiss the sub anytime she proves herself incapable. Sometimes I think it is more difficult to be a good sub than it is to be a good Dom. Being a good sub is not something accomplished on a whim. Before you look for a Dom, you might find it helpful to talk to some of the R/L subs here on Lit, and ask them why they are drawn to this lifestyle. For a real-life sub, it isn’t just something to be experienced; it is a need within them.

Personally, I don’t think you have what it takes to be a sub, but that is just my personal opinion. You don’t seem to have the “willingness to learn”, that it takes to be a good sub. The advice that both myself and Barber o Saville offered was offered as constructive criticism, but rather than seeing the advice as a way of improving yourself and a perhaps finding a good Dom, you took offense. That’s a red-flag for any experienced Dom. An experienced Dom worth his salt won’t take on just any sub. Although you might find a Dom who is just learning his skills.

 

[kwells548]

ROFL.. I'm sorry but its hard to take you seriously when you are so full of yourself.

What I was given was a lecture on how you two thought a "good" sub should act... That was not constructive criticism.

I've been doing for 3 years in one form or another and I'm still learning things. I'm not the best at anything in this lifestyle. What I do know is when someone needs to take a step back and be humbled by what someone is giving you.

You both acted like you deserved what you have. I'm sorry but that's not true at all. If a sub chooses you, be humbled. It takes a lot to do what we do.

Now I'll kindly ask that both of you leave my thread.

 

[collector_guide]

I have to agree with kwells here, your advice was presented in a dismissive and condescending way. You cannot make such a sweeping claim that she cannot be trained just from a few posts on a forum, you know nothing about her past or reasons for having the needs she does. And you cannot make bold assumptions about her worth from her lack of "etiquette" because while yes, it's charming when a submissive does that, who they are as a submissive has to be gauged by more than typing habits. And if you are going to claim she cannot be taught, then I say, you it indicates to me you lack a teaching spirit.

Submissives don't owe Doms anything. They give that submission because they trust you and want to be taken care of. Acting entitled with women is the hallmark of an abusive relationship in which her value is negated because you expect things from her regardless of your behavior.

And anyone referring to "proper" bdsm is a bit disillusioned. What is proper has to be defined for the people involved, and it's different for everyone. Safe, sane, consensual are fantastic keystones, but all the other idiosyncracies are going to spring out of the unique bond certain people have.

For instance, there are a lot of great subs who are still great even when they don't bother to capitalize the "d" in Dom

 

[Barber_o_Saville]

Kwells;

After reading your comments and the rest of the thread, I believe I must offer my apologies. I did disrespect you on several issues.
1. I do not know you and have not discussed this and other issues that are important to you.
2. It is the Sub's right (either male or female) that can walk away and not turn back, I did not try to provide you with my thoughts, I was mearly commenting - I humbel myself in knowing that I still am learning everyday.
3. It was also a sub that reminded me that "Seriousness and fun" do not necessarily go hand in hand. When you need to be serious be that, then have fun.
4. I disrespected your content and your personal feelings.

This humbled Dom asks for your forgiveness and will leave the thread.

 

[TJReilly]

I was done with this thread, but I have to ask this question. If what you say is true, and the sub has the power in relationship, why would any Dom waste his time with any sub? We are not Dominant because we are wimps who can't find a woman, we are Doms because we are Dominant among men, and we don't roll over and start kissing ass just because someone doesn't like what we say. If you are going call yourself Dom, grow a backbone! Demanding respect from any prospective sub, (and she did put herself out there as a prospective sub), is not abuse, nor is it disrespect!

 

[Tappy_McWidestance]

Like any relationship, a dom/sub one can not survive without mutual respect. I have had the privilege of training several cyber subs and the experience has made me a better real life dom to my two subs.

My primary concern in this thread is the prospective sub's hard limit (no voice or pictures) to verify that she is who she claims. To me that is a big red flag that screams teenage boy in his parent's basement. Certainly discretion may be necessary and limits should be discussed, but nobody wants to waste their time with a fake. But maybe that is just me.

 

[Deacon13]

Like any relationship, a dom/sub one can not survive without mutual respect. I have had the privilege of training several cyber subs and the experience has made me a better real life dom to my two subs.

My primary concern in this thread is the prospective sub's hard limit (no voice or pictures) to verify that she is who she claims. To me that is a big red flag that screams teenage boy in his parent's basement. Certainly discretion may be necessary and limits should be discussed, but nobody wants to waste their time with a fake. But maybe that is just me.

Very good point, Tappy

 

[kwells548]

.... My primary concern in this thread is the prospective sub's hard limit (no voice or pictures) to verify that she is who she claims. To me that is a big red flag that screams teenage boy in his parent's basement. Certainly discretion may be necessary and limits should be discussed, but nobody wants to waste their time with a fake. But maybe that is just me.

Or maybe I have enough self-respect to not pass out pics of myself to everyone I meet? Maybe I had a bad experience I'm trying to get over? Maybe you should get all the info before assuming something?

Assuming something makes an ass out of you. Please feel free to not waste your time; that will help me not waste my time on you...

 

[WorkPlayHard]

"My limitsare: Pics, Cam, Phone, Bodily fluids, family, blackmail, anal

Likes: bondage, public, training, orgasm denial/chastity"
To me, you don't sound like a submissive, you sound like a brat. Taming a brat can be fun, time consuming and frustrating, but fun. Completely different type of relationship.
I have questions about your limits:
Pics- no pics or no face pics?
Phone- No talking? No texting? Be more specific.
Bodily Fluids Do you mean urine? What about cum? Or spit? Yet again be specific.
Family No role play? Or are you telling your horny uncle not to bother. Be specific.
Blackmail Ahh, so someone used a picture against you.
Anal One bad experience? To be honest I lost interest right here.
The submissive does have the power to give themselves completely to their Master. I respect that. You are a brat who is now scared to give themselves completely.

 

[Tappy_McWidestance]

Or you could read my post where I specify that discretion can be necessary instead of throwing an immature hiss fit anytime anyone is critical of you. Why would any Dom want to invest time in you (and it is an investment if done properly both in time and emotion) if responses like you have provided in your threads are what he can expect?

Nobody expects you to send naked pictures of yourself all over the Internet. But look at it from the Doms point of view. You refuse to prove you are even a woman and will not provide verification that you complete any tasks you are given. What's in it for us in that kind of relationship?

I hope you find somebody. I'm a romantic. But experienced Doms require more from their subs. As an "intermediate" sub you should have learned that already.

 

[Hnter2011]

Or maybe I have enough self-respect to not pass out pics of myself to everyone I meet? Maybe I had a bad experience I'm trying to get over? Maybe you should get all the info before assuming something?

Assuming something makes an ass out of you. Please feel free to not waste your time; that will help me not waste my time on you...

bravo! I know its been said often, but sub does not equal dumb or doormat.

if building trust with someone is waste of time then My style of Domination must be going out of style,