50 Shades of Grey movies, how many Good wives became Secret Sluts

[brightsmile]

I read Story of O years ago and read all three 50 shades books and then saw the movies. The Story of O blew my mind; I found it realistic but sad and I never wanted to be O. I thought O was abused. The 50 shades books were very entertaining but the heroine and grammar really got on my nerves. 50 shades read more like a fairy tale comedy to me; I did not find it sexy and it did nothing for my libido. Mind you I read the Story of O and 50 shades books when I considered myself vanilla.

That’s when I realized that most women are repressed if the 50 shades books wore up their sexual curiosity. I did not find anything ground breaking in 50 shades. I have seen wilder things on Pornhub and read kinkier stories here on Lit. That’s when I knew that I was either a very kinky vanilla or not vanilla at all.

 

[Islander55]

I read Story of O years ago and read all three 50 shades books and then saw the movies. The Story of O blew my mind; I found it realistic but sad and I never wanted to be O. I thought O was abused. The 50 shades books were very entertaining but the heroine and grammar really got on my nerves. 50 shades read more like a fairy tale comedy to me; I did not find it sexy and it did nothing for my libido. Mind you I read the Story of O and 50 shades books when I considered myself vanilla.

That’s when I realized that most women are repressed if the 50 shades books wore up their sexual curiosity. I did not find anything ground breaking in 50 shades. I have seen wilder things on Pornhub and read kinkier stories here on Lit. That’s when I knew that I was either a very kinky vanilla or not vanilla at all.

I think you are right that many women are repressed. They are brought up to suppress their sexual nature and our society reinforces the sentiment that "good girls do not do that". I takes effort to get beyond that and realize that we are entitled too.

 

[Master_Doctor]

I read Story of O years ago and read all three 50 shades books and then saw the movies. The Story of O blew my mind; I found it realistic but sad and I never wanted to be O. I thought O was abused. The 50 shades books were very entertaining but the heroine and grammar really got on my nerves. 50 shades read more like a fairy tale comedy to me; I did not find it sexy and it did nothing for my libido. Mind you I read the Story of O and 50 shades books when I considered myself vanilla.

That’s when I realized that most women are repressed if the 50 shades books wore up their sexual curiosity. I did not find anything ground breaking in 50 shades. I have seen wilder things on Pornhub and read kinkier stories here on Lit. That’s when I knew that I was either a very kinky vanilla or not vanilla at all.

yes, I remember the story of O. I still have a copy of the video around there somewhere. Its not the worst way to remind a new sub the importance of being safe. I agree. Sadly, it was a lot more realistic in many ways then 50 Shades. Thankfully there are very few people with the festish the story is famous for.

The funniest thing for me about the 50 shades is that protagonist clearly states she is NOT a submissive.. and she is right. She enjoys him and what they do... but she clearly otherwise does not act as a submissive. She constantly tops from the bottom and power thrusts... So its all very contradictory and confusing. Its not a shock that vanilla woman are drawn to it... clearly given murky concepts of what a submissive is and is not.

 

[Dreamliner]

A sporting legend in my country, this week, live on air tv interview in his home office with bookshelf behind, eagle eyed viewers spotted the 50 shades books. Legend!

 

[roshnikhanna]

I enjoyed the movies. I saw them more as a love story with a BDSM.

 

[seela]

I haven’t read them or seen them, so I can’t really comment on how “right” or “wrong” they get BDSM.

However, when I read comments about 50 shades getting it all wrong and setting an awful example, I always wonder why it should get it right or be a stellar example of BDSM.

There are many books and movies that depict shitty and dangerous relationships and where the main characters make idiotic and dangerous decisions and have sex that isn’t exactly by the books and only borderline consensual without it ever being highlighted that “don’t try this at home, this is wrong”.

So. Does BDSM representation always have to be good and proper and safe? Can’t there be characters that do it wrong?

 

[N2outdoors]

I enjoyed the movies. I saw them more as a love story with a BDSM.

Delete

 

[SimonDoom]

The 50 Shades books were published around the time I had been recently divorced and started getting into online dating. And something I noticed was how many divorced 40-something women in their profiles mentioned that they'd read the books. So, I read them, to get up to speed.

The books aren't very good, and it was obvious to me, who knew nothing about BDSM, that the author didn't understand BDSM. She knew just enough to spice up what's basically a classic gothic romance -- an ingenue meets a mysterious powerful older man. But the books, and the embrace by them of a lot of women you wouldn't necessarily think would be into them, did open up some insights, which affected the course of some subsequent relationships.

I think there is something to the "secret slut" idea. Society, and men, routinely try to put a box around women's sexuality. And many women are looking for fun and interesting ways to get outside that box. In my dating experiences I was surprised how receptive women were to some of the things I proposed -- particularly, rope bondage. I bought rope, read books about Shibari, and found it to be an incredibly enjoyable new experience in a relationship.

The theme of women (and to a lesser extent, men) trying to escape those boxes has been one that drives much of my erotic writing.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I haven’t read them or seen them, so I can’t really comment on how “right” or “wrong” they get BDSM.

However, when I read comments about 50 shades getting it all wrong and setting an awful example, I always wonder why it should get it right or be a stellar example of BDSM.

There are many books and movies that depict shitty and dangerous relationships and where the main characters make idiotic and dangerous decisions and have sex that isn’t exactly by the books and only borderline consensual without it ever being highlighted that “don’t try this at home, this is wrong”.

So. Does BDSM representation always have to be good and proper and safe? Can’t there be characters that do it wrong?

When there is fiction or even fact that is presented as BDSM, it somehow has to carry the weight of representing everything BDSM.
The same goes for a lot of other non garden varieties.

I guess it’s kind of a marketing issue for BDSM, to be a bit flippant about it.

 

[MeekMe]

I haven’t read them or seen them, so I can’t really comment on how “right” or “wrong” they get BDSM.

However, when I read comments about 50 shades getting it all wrong and setting an awful example, I always wonder why it should get it right or be a stellar example of BDSM.

There are many books and movies that depict shitty and dangerous relationships and where the main characters make idiotic and dangerous decisions and have sex that isn’t exactly by the books and only borderline consensual without it ever being highlighted that “don’t try this at home, this is wrong”.

So. Does BDSM representation always have to be good and proper and safe? Can’t there be characters that do it wrong?

Nope, it doesn’t always. My personal favorite stuff gets is worse and is blatant about what’s going on. The issue here, is that the characters “doing it wrong” are the ones we’re told as the reader/watcher are “doing it right.” I think another reason people are quick to point it out, is that like with most movies depicting romance (OMG, I called it romance! ) it is depicted in a really fluffy way but when you dig deeper you realize a lot of Rom-coms and and things depicted as good (IE Stalking, lying - often to the extreme) to get the girl of your dreams, elaborate, often underhanded tactics are used to woo her. And the fucked up thing? She gets mad like a normal person does but then she decides he only did the stalking and dishonesty stuff because he REALLY wants to be with her. How sweet.

50 Shades is just way easier to point out (to the masses) and get pissed off about. Other romance/relationship/“chick flicks” we consume is so entrenched in fucked up human behaviors depicted as positive, and we’ve been seeing it so long we don’t recognize it as easily.

We can have characters do it wrong, but like with all representation in media, we need to see the positive along side it.

 

[seela]

When there is fiction or even fact that is presented as BDSM, it somehow has to carry the weight of representing everything BDSM.
The same goes for a lot of other non garden varieties.

I guess it’s kind of a marketing issue for BDSM, to be a bit flippant about it.

Yep, I think this is true.

Nope, it doesn’t always. My personal favorite stuff gets is worse and is blatant about what’s going on. The issue here, is that the characters “doing it wrong” are the ones we’re told as the reader/watcher are “doing it right.” I think another reason people are quick to point it out, is that like with most movies depicting romance (OMG, I called it romance! ) it is depicted in a really fluffy way but when you dig deeper you realize a lot of Rom-coms and and things depicted as good (IE Stalking, lying - often to the extreme) to get the girl of your dreams, elaborate, often underhanded tactics are used to woo her. And the fucked up thing? She gets mad like a normal person does but then she decides he only did the stalking and dishonesty stuff because he REALLY wants to be with her. How sweet.

50 Shades is just way easier to point out (to the masses) and get pissed off about. Other romance/relationship/“chick flicks” we consume is so entrenched in fucked up human behaviors depicted as positive, and we’ve been seeing it so long we don’t recognize it as easily.

We can have characters do it wrong, but like with all representation in media, we need to see the positive along side it.

Rom coms are a good comparison, because they absolutely do celebrate horrible behavior and still people aren't ripped apart for liking them like often happens with 50 Shades.

I guess the point I was trying to make is that I don't think that everything should be measured on a scale of how realistic or sane or safe or healthy the relationship is that they're depicting.

If people are modeling their relationship after 50 Shades, is it the book's fault? I mean, there are people modeling their relationships after the Gor books, too.

 

[Scareltt]

50 Shades of entertainment..

I enjoy the comparison of 50 Shades to a Rom-Com. Why not they’re both forms of entertainment and not based on real life. Like a Disney movie, no one ever actually says “The Prince is carrying her off to fuck her.” The truth is the Princess does get fucked.

What bugs me is why does it always have to be a wealthy guy? Wouldn’t a regular guy with regular means be more realistic? Or maybe the woman is wealthy and still missing something. Could the guy from the “wrong side of the tracks” be the dominant she needs?

What if the Dominant was a woman, (god forbid) wouldn’t that sell books?

Typical me, I lost my train of thought. I’m baking and keep putting my phone down.

Still 50 Shades just as good as whatever Rom-Com is currently showing.

 

[MeekMe]

Yep, I think this is true.



Rom coms are a good comparison, because they absolutely do celebrate horrible behavior and still people aren't ripped apart for liking them like often happens with 50 Shades.

I guess the point I was trying to make is that I don't think that everything should be measured on a scale of how realistic or sane or safe or healthy the relationship is that they're depicting.

If people are modeling their relationship after 50 Shades, is it the book's fault? I mean, there are people modeling their relationships after the Gor books, too.

Some people model their relationships off of the fucked up dynamic of The Joker and Harley Quinn. No one is stopping that. Plenty of people shit on them for following an example of what not to do, though. It’s just easier to point out. People don’t get nearly as shit on for the rom-com thing because it’s already in the brain as “normal behavior” and is easily more acceptable for most.

Is it the book’s fault? No one is forcing anyone to enter into a BDSM relationship and the book isn’t doing that. It’s certainly setting up the next generation of romantics to view more toxic behavior as acceptable in a relationship. Just a different type of relationship.

It’s great people are finding an interest and I don’t have a problem with it as it was the magic formula for going mainstream. Yay for awareness! Not a lot of yay for the reenforcement of toxic behaviors and relationship dynamics.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Nope, it doesn’t always. My personal favorite stuff gets is worse and is blatant about what’s going on. The issue here, is that the characters “doing it wrong” are the ones we’re told as the reader/watcher are “doing it right.” I think another reason people are quick to point it out, is that like with most movies depicting romance (OMG, I called it romance! ) it is depicted in a really fluffy way but when you dig deeper you realize a lot of Rom-coms and and things depicted as good (IE Stalking, lying - often to the extreme) to get the girl of your dreams, elaborate, often underhanded tactics are used to woo her. And the fucked up thing? She gets mad like a normal person does but then she decides he only did the stalking and dishonesty stuff because he REALLY wants to be with her. How sweet.

50 Shades is just way easier to point out (to the masses) and get pissed off about. Other romance/relationship/“chick flicks” we consume is so entrenched in fucked up human behaviors depicted as positive, and we’ve been seeing it so long we don’t recognize it as easily.

We can have characters do it wrong, but like with all representation in media, we need to see the positive along side it.

We were actually just talking about lyrics that are kind of cringeworthy that way. One example would be Every Breath You Take...

Yep, I think this is true.

Rom coms are a good comparison, because they absolutely do celebrate horrible behavior and still people aren't ripped apart for liking them like often happens with 50 Shades.

I guess the point I was trying to make is that I don't think that everything should be measured on a scale of how realistic or sane or safe or healthy the relationship is that they're depicting.

If people are modeling their relationship after 50 Shades, is it the book's fault? I mean, there are people modeling their relationships after the Gor books, too.

Heh, I remember being confused about people talking about themselves in the third person when I first started reading here, until I heard about Gor.

And I agree, fiction doesn’t have to be a good example, morally uplifting or anything like that.

 

[MeekMe]

We were actually just talking about lyrics that are kind of cringeworthy that way. One example would be Every Breath You Take...

Perfect example! Much like the movie 500 Days of Summer, the protagonist wasn’t supposed to be liked. The public took this as Summer bad! What a horrible, horrible slut!

Heh, I remember being confused about people talking about themselves in the third person when I first started reading here, until I heard about Gor.

And I agree, fiction doesn’t have to be a good example, morally uplifting or anything like that.

Agreed. It doesn’t have to be, but it sure would be refreshing to see something at least trying once in awhile.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Perfect example! Much like the movie 500 Days of Summer, the protagonist wasn’t supposed to be liked. The public took this as Summer bad! What a horrible, horrible slut!



Agreed. It doesn’t have to be, but it sure would be refreshing to see something at least trying once in awhile.

I haven’t seen that movie.

I guess we rarely get the low down on the happy ever after. It’s often the conflicts and the obstacles that are seen as interesting. With rom com and romance, I often think the heavier topics are avoided and the you can get these intrigues that feel contrieved or off.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Heh, I remember being confused about people talking about themselves in the third person when I first started reading here, until I heard about Gor.

And I agree, fiction doesn’t have to be a good example, morally uplifting or anything like that.

OMG, it has been years since I thought about the Gor books! My first dom was a big fan and I read the first couple books. They were certainly fun to talk about with him!

 

[IrisAlthea]

OMG, it has been years since I thought about the Gor books! My first dom was a big fan and I read the first couple books. They were certainly fun to talk about with him!

Did you have to express it like ”this slave thinks ....”.
I just read about them after googling like crazy to understand what the writing style was about.
I just read here and never posted back then, so asking was not going to happen.

 

[seela]

Did you have to express it like ”this slave thinks ....”.
I just read about them after googling like crazy to understand what the writing style was about.
I just read here and never posted back then, so asking was not going to happen.

Oh yes, the good old days of third person speak and the Y/you A/all. I don't miss it...

 

[IrisAlthea]

Oh yes, the good old days of third person speak and the Y/you A/all. I don't miss it...

I actually ended up in this neck of the woods because there was less slash speak and honorifics than on the local forums. They were all very ”you have to call me SIR because I have sir or master or dom in my handle” at the time. I was very ”well if this is your private forum I’ll back out again slowly but otherwise I’ll treat you like I treat people in general”. Somehow it didn’t mix too well.

OnT:
One book that made a bit of BDSM waves here is Simona Arnstedts En enda hemlighet. It has been translated to a lot of languages. I’ll see if I can find the name in english.
While not great literature it is good entertainment with less of the annoying features you tslked about Meeks.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Did you have to express it like ”this slave thinks ....”.
I just read about them after googling like crazy to understand what the writing style was about.
I just read here and never posted back then, so asking was not going to happen.

We never played Gor style, just talked about it. I probably would have giggled and that would be no good, haha!

One of the things I really liked about this forum when I first found it was the PYL/pyl acronyms. Those work so well and weren’t pretentious at all. I’ve also never encountered anyone here who was like, “All subs must call me SIR!” We’ve had overall fairly good PYL representation, thankfully.

 

[Payne_Hall]

OMG, it has been years since I thought about the Gor books! My first dom was a big fan and I read the first couple books. They were certainly fun to talk about with him!

I think it was something like book 6 or 8 when Tarl ends up with a mate named Thurnock and a thief slave girl and he gives the girl to Thurnock. Eventually, she likes him a lot (he had a playful personality) and puts a Taleander flower in her hair, right (I’m going somewhere with this, I promise. I’m sorry it’s long) and the book describes how slaves will put those flowers in their hair to show affection for their Master.

I referenced this in a story where a girl puts a yellow lily in her hair and got a feedback message that was SO HAPPY. It had to do with an older Dom who remembered that high protocol thing. But it just felt like the greatest thing ever to make someone that happy with that obscure of a reference because those books really did have some just plain feel good moments. Like the Tatrix book and the Priest Kings halls book... and the assassins book are my favorite things. I just.

I hope that didn’t sound like an ad! I didn’t mean it like that, but oh, I could wax poetry over how much joy those books are.

And now I have to go curl up with stuffed Cthulhu and watch Beauty and the Beast, damn it.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I actually ended up in this neck of the woods because there was less slash speak and honorifics than on the local forums. They were all very ”you have to call me SIR because I have sir or master or dom in my handle” at the time. I was very ”well if this is your private forum I’ll back out again slowly but otherwise I’ll treat you like I treat people in general”. Somehow it didn’t mix too well.

OnT:
One book that made a bit of BDSM waves here is Simona Ahrnstedts En enda hemlighet. It has been translated to a lot of languages. I’ll see if I can find the name in english.
While not great literature it is good entertainment with less of the annoying features you tslked about Meeks.

It’s called Falling by Simona Ahrnstedt. There was a bit of talk about it being the swedish 50 shades when it was released.
Not very BDSM if you ask me but not stupid about what there is.

We never played Gor style, just talked about it. I probably would have giggled and that would be no good, haha!

One of the things I really liked about this forum when I first found it was the PYL/pyl acronyms. Those work so well and weren’t pretentious at all. I’ve also never encountered anyone here who was like, “All subs must call me SIR!” We’ve had overall fairly good PYL representation, thankfully.

Totally agree!

 

[Roughscrewu]

50 Shades of entertainment..

I enjoy the comparison of 50 Shades to a Rom-Com. Why not they’re both forms of entertainment and not based on real life. Like a Disney movie, no one ever actually says “The Prince is carrying her off to fuck her.” The truth is the Princess does get fucked.

What bugs me is why does it always have to be a wealthy guy? Wouldn’t a regular guy with regular means be more realistic? Or maybe the woman is wealthy and still missing something. Could the guy from the “wrong side of the tracks” be the dominant she needs?

What if the Dominant was a woman, (god forbid) wouldn’t that sell books?

Typical me, I lost my train of thought. I’m baking and keep putting my phone down.

Still 50 Shades just as good as whatever Rom-Com is currently showing.

Yes, a rich guy who owns his own helicopter.
Real life more likely to be a guy In a pickup truck!

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

The BDSM overtones in Hellraiser are very deliberate though.

In the book ("The Hellbound Heart"), Barker is explicit that he took cues from the Marquis de Sade.