Four years out of a 20-year marriage that left me with two great sons, a thoroughly shattered sense of self, and a working knowledge of what I'm actually made of. I've done therapy, done the work, and arrived at something that feels like genuine peace with who I am and what I'm willing to accept from a relationship. It took a while.
I have a dry sense of humor and I'm what people apparently call sapiosexual, which feels like a nice way of saying I appreciate people who think. There's nothing more attractive to me than someone who surprises me mid-conversation, who has actual thoughts and ideas and isn't afraid to push back on mine. I like competence in people regardless of the domain. I enjoy debate as a sport. I like long conversations that go somewhere neither of us expected when we started. I value depth, honesty, and clarity above almost everything else, and I have very little patience for performance, authenticity or gtfo.
My weekends mostly involve competing in amateur motorsport, which is either completely normal or deeply strange depending on your reference point. I have a lot of other interests I'll spare you from listing, because nobody reads lists. What matters is I have a life, I'd love to be with someone who has her own, and I'm genuinely interested in the slow, interesting process of those two lives finding the places where they naturally fit together.
Since the divorce I've been with a few women. Sex without real connection is.. fine. It's just not enough, and I'm too old and too self-aware to pretend otherwise. What I'm looking for is the real thing: a partner, a best friend, someone I'm genuinely glad is in the room. Someone who enjoys sex for her own pleasure and mine, because watching my partner turned on is absolutely what turns me on. Someone I can sit next to in comfortable silence with a book, or get completely absorbed in a six-part series with, or have a real conversation over dinner instead of a phone-checking contest.
I'm 5'11, brown hair, hazel eyes, stocky with some extra weight I'm actively working on. Real job. Financially grounded. No bullshit unless it's in service of a joke. I'm direct, I'm self-aware, and I'm genuinely looking for a ride-or-die, not a situationship. Ideally somewhere in the 35-55 range, though I'll stretch upward more readily than down. If you're in your 20s I promise it's not personal, I just can't imagine what we'd still be talking about after the first hour given the gap in lived experience.
I have a dry sense of humor and I'm what people apparently call sapiosexual, which feels like a nice way of saying I appreciate people who think. There's nothing more attractive to me than someone who surprises me mid-conversation, who has actual thoughts and ideas and isn't afraid to push back on mine. I like competence in people regardless of the domain. I enjoy debate as a sport. I like long conversations that go somewhere neither of us expected when we started. I value depth, honesty, and clarity above almost everything else, and I have very little patience for performance, authenticity or gtfo.
My weekends mostly involve competing in amateur motorsport, which is either completely normal or deeply strange depending on your reference point. I have a lot of other interests I'll spare you from listing, because nobody reads lists. What matters is I have a life, I'd love to be with someone who has her own, and I'm genuinely interested in the slow, interesting process of those two lives finding the places where they naturally fit together.
Since the divorce I've been with a few women. Sex without real connection is.. fine. It's just not enough, and I'm too old and too self-aware to pretend otherwise. What I'm looking for is the real thing: a partner, a best friend, someone I'm genuinely glad is in the room. Someone who enjoys sex for her own pleasure and mine, because watching my partner turned on is absolutely what turns me on. Someone I can sit next to in comfortable silence with a book, or get completely absorbed in a six-part series with, or have a real conversation over dinner instead of a phone-checking contest.
I'm 5'11, brown hair, hazel eyes, stocky with some extra weight I'm actively working on. Real job. Financially grounded. No bullshit unless it's in service of a joke. I'm direct, I'm self-aware, and I'm genuinely looking for a ride-or-die, not a situationship. Ideally somewhere in the 35-55 range, though I'll stretch upward more readily than down. If you're in your 20s I promise it's not personal, I just can't imagine what we'd still be talking about after the first hour given the gap in lived experience.
