A cautious, thoughtful discussion of non-abusive incest between adults

[BobBeth76]

Real love and consent is the key to a healthy relationship.

 

[Readytedy]

Real love and consent is the key to a healthy relationship.

My daughters and I couldn't agree more.

 

[cabin_swinger]

It is great fun with my sister and sometimes my mother. It all works the same way.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

I would add that, if I read Wikipedia correctly, step-siblings are only considered incest in Arkansas. Any correction would be appreciated.

 

[LeSabreur]

I would love to share physical intimacy with my sister. She's technically my half-sister, my father having remarried and having a daughter after my parents divorced, but we don't add the terms "half" and "step" in our family.

 

[midwestmomlvr]

Even today I received a message from a woman who said she wants to be with her father, and she is simply the latest in a long line, along with men and women in every stage of life (not underage), some of them being players in what, to them, is absolutely normal but, normal or not, sometimes involves transgenerational incest even including reproduction.
I draw the line there, by the way, I'm just telling you what some people have told me about.
What I really wanted to explore today are the situations like the one a young adult woman mentioned to me today, a tale I've now heard many times. Or variations like young adult son with mother, etc. Here is the question: if both persons are at least eighteen, and both persons enter into such a relationship voluntarily, do we still call it incest? The word is stigmatizing, to say the least, and in many cases for good reason.
But adults can make choices. I also don't know what the law says about this--is it illegal if both parties are adults and it is consensual? There may be antiquated laws on the books, like the one that says adultery is illegal, that no politician has ever wanted to touch, for obvious reasons; but in the same way that no one gets prosecuted for adultery, would two adults with familial ties who are intimate with each other need to fear the law?
I don't know. I think it more likely they would need to fear social backlash, which would likely be severe.
Having said all this, after having read so many accounts of real life familial relationships (maybe that's a better term than incest in these cases) that were entered into enthusiastically by both parties, and which, as these people tell me, make them happy and fulfill certain needs they couldn't find elsewhere, I have come to the conclusion that sometimes, when it is the right two people, people who for whatever reasons this works for, specifically with the other right person in question, I actually support this.
Now, if after posting this I have not been banned from Lit, I would like to discuss this further, if y'all would.

I am a 59 yo male who had a consensual “affair” with my mother for many years starting when I was 23 and she was 48. Again, it was completely consensual and only occurred after many years of teasing and innuendo. As you can imagine, I firmly believe that what two grown ups do in the privacy of their bedroom is NO ONE else’s business. Quite honestly, our lovemaking was magical and I’m 99.9% sure she would say the say thing.

 

[1DarkNightOwl]

but we don't add the terms "half" and "step" in our family.

I find this quite sweet.

 

[LuridStoryteller]

My wife has confessed that she had a great sexual attraction to her father growing up. Apparently he was not open to her not so subtle advances. Instead suggested counseling. She did not opt for counseling. And, it ended up being nothing more than a teenage fantasy. But, it makes for erotic sharing. Even years after.

I think I was once in a similar situation to your wife, but with my mother. We were a big family, crammed into a small house (I was a guy sharing a bedroom with one sister and one brother, for example - not ideal, until eldest sis moved out and younger sis moved in with our other sisters) and, due to some unfortunate events and factors, there was one night where I felt like something might have happened between me and my mother, if I had been a little bolder (no idea how receptive she'd have been, I should admit). This prompted a period of sexual, if not romantic, fixation on my mother that lasted for several years, until it just seemed to naturally work its way out of my system. Despite this, I still retain the fantasy for m/s scenarios (just not involving my own anymore), and have to admit that nothing I went on to experience in my sexual and romantic life since has ever instilled me a level of excitement that matches how excited I was that night, when I thought something might be about to happen.