A Direct Girl

[Toaster960]

There's this girl at my college I've thought about asking out. I've seen her in the cafeteria a few times and I've been very tempted to talk to her. I have a friend who knows her and he tellsa me she's very direct and forward, something I'm really not used to. I'm just getting used to girls with mind games and trying to figure out one puzzle, now it seems I have to totally reset everything in my mind. I would like to talk to her but I don't want to come off as a pushover to her, which I admit I am to an extent. I don't really know the right way to express this other than this girl intrigues me but I don't want to make an asshole out of myself and seem like a pussy in her eyes.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

just be yourself. that's really all you can be. if you try to be something you arent, she will see through that rather quickly and be done with you faster than you can imagine. If she doesnt want to go out with you (or whatever) because she's not interested in who you really are, then it's probably her loss in the end and it will at least save you the trouble up front.

If you're looking for a way to ask her out, then go for something simple like asking her to see the new big movie that's opening on Friday night (generic example here) or somethign else along that line and let it go from there. If anything just try having lunch with her in the cafeteria someday and see where things go.

Just remember to relax and be yourself. Most women dont like uptight wannabes.

 

[Alsharlan]

Hi Toaster

You seem like a real nice shy guy, and trust me, direct women are the best... you don't die wondering with them.

If she is as direct as you say.. ask. you will get the answer.. hope it's what you want to hear.

Hope this helps

Alsh

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I think your best bet is to become friends with her first. As I take it, she is a friend of a friend and you have only seen her a few times in the cafe. Well, make a closer friendship and you wont feel so out of place about asking her.


Ravin

 

[SweetErika]

There's this girl at my college I've thought about asking out. I've seen her in the cafeteria a few times and I've been very tempted to talk to her. I have a friend who knows her and he tellsa me she's very direct and forward, something I'm really not used to. I'm just getting used to girls with mind games and trying to figure out one puzzle, now it seems I have to totally reset everything in my mind. I would like to talk to her but I don't want to come off as a pushover to her, which I admit I am to an extent. I don't really know the right way to express this other than this girl intrigues me but I don't want to make an asshole out of myself and seem like a pussy in her eyes.

I don't think you have to reset everything in your mind or throw away what you've learned so far. You're just going to learn about another person and style, and that's a big opportunity.

I agree with Ravin, and would suggest asking your friend to say hi and introduce you when you two see her. Smile, be confident, and ask some questions about her if you have the time to talk (maybe your friend could suggest you all sit together at lunch or something). If that seems to go well, say hello and ask her for coffee or something friendly next time you see her.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

this girl intrigues me but I don't want to make an asshole out of myself and seem like a pussy in her eyes.

Tell her exactly that.



Seriously. If someone said that to me, I'd give him the time of day.. and probably my number. I appreciate that kind of honesty.

 

[trodas]

Ms_Lilith - do you also appreciate this honesty when come to not his feelings about himself but his opinions about you?

That's mostly the breaking point of the "honest persons", because often the truth hurts and we do everything to cover from it.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Ms_Lilith - do you also appreciate this honesty when come to not his feelings about himself but his opinions about you?

That's mostly the breaking point of the "honest persons", because often the truth hurts and we do everything to cover from it.

Hey, go check out the GB. *smile* I get dished trash-talk every day. I'm fully aware of what people on this site think of me.


However, there is a thing called tact. For example: There are people on the GB who hate me because I am fat. That's a pretty poor reason to hate someone, but whatever turns your crank. Then there are those who have flat-out said that while my weight makes me unattractive physically to them, they like me as a person, and enjoy my thoughts. Yeah, that hurt a little, but y'know, they said what they wanted to say, without compromising their integrity, and yet managed to have me still respect their thoughts and ideas, as well.

I like honesty. I am honest with people about how I see them, and about how I feel, and my opinions. I hope to receive that kind of courtesy from other people.

 

[College_geek]

Hey, go check out the GB. *smile* I get dished trash-talk every day. I'm fully aware of what people on this site think of me.


However, there is a thing called tact. For example: There are people on the GB who hate me because I am fat. That's a pretty poor reason to hate someone, but whatever turns your crank. Then there are those who have flat-out said that while my weight makes me unattractive physically to them, they like me as a person, and enjoy my thoughts. Yeah, that hurt a little, but y'know, they said what they wanted to say, without compromising their integrity, and yet managed to have me still respect their thoughts and ideas, as well.

I like honesty. I am honest with people about how I see them, and about how I feel, and my opinions. I hope to receive that kind of courtesy from other people.

And that's why I avoid the GB. I like honesty, but honesty is not "eww, you're a fat bitch, you make me vomit". That is an insult and pretty damn tasteless. That and despite how much I think I've improved confidence-wise, it's still fragile.

Other than that, I like when my boyfriend will tell me if what I'm doing isn't very good, like when I'm giving oral. Yeah, it'll hurt a little, but then I won't continue to do what I'm doing while he sits there bored. That way I can actively improve. A lot of people say they want honesty, but to a point. I like tactful honesty as a form of improving myself. (That and I don't like liars.)

 

[Brinnie]

where is toaster?

 

[trodas]

Ms_Lilith - I'm fully aware of what people on this site think of me. However, there is a thing called tact.

Seems like I missed something - well, never mind. Not need to hear such quick and harsh damnations of people. But you got a point with the tact. However I do not give up so easily - are you aware that the sense what is tact and what is not is pretty individual? I mean - something could be okay for someone, but others might reject it as untact

(it could be pretty interesting to compare, how harsh critique it must be for someone to admint that it was untact saying this to someone else, while also testing, how much critic the very same person could take, w/o thinking that is was untact to him)


College_geek - I believe it is called constructive criticism. I mean - saying that you suck bad is destuctive criticism. You could improve only with some help and directions what to do. (of course the first this is to notice the problem) Like - you aren't God-like right now, however if you do this and that and not do this - it will be hell better

Brinnie - where is toaster?

Somebody stolen you nicely pink toaster Sorry