A little insight,please. How do naturally dominant people first try being submissive?

[ShelbyDawn57]

I've seen posts about what might be described as Alphas, naturally dominant people male and female, enjoying be dominated. From what I've read, it seems to be common enough, and I get the why. I'm curious though, if this is you, what was the the how, the trigger that got you to try it that first time? Tell me, us your story. Thanks for sharing.

 

[BookishBabe0]

I'm always interested in how "alphas" describe their triggers.

 

[cascadiabound]

You might rename your thread so people know what you are after here.
Just a thought.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

You might rename your thread so people know what you are after here.
Just a thought.

Thanks. Done.

 

[Daddydomtex48]

I hated it , it turns me off instantly tbh

 

[Phatfeet]

For me, I knew the relationship I was in was in a huge rut and I wanted to make it better. Since changing others can be tough, I figured I minds well do something different and bold myself.

Getting home from work before her, we had a bed that was conducive to this. We had two sets of hand cuffs and soft rope, so I tied my ankles to the footposts of the bed easily enough, then handcuffed my right hand, and while I could not lock the handcuffs to a particular setting with that tiny locking device on my other hand, I could snap it into place so I was completely spread eagle and in naked bondage for her when she got home.

It was a little dangerous being bound that way alone for half an hour, but it was erotic and a huge surprise for her. I am glad I did it, and a few times after that with her as well. (For us, most times it was her in bondage).

 

[Lucien_Al]

I've seen posts about what might be described as Alphas, naturally dominant people male and female, enjoying be dominated. From what I've read, it seems to be common enough, and I get the why. I'm curious though, if this is you, what was the the how, the trigger that got you to try it that first time? Tell me, us your story. Thanks for sharing.

Honestly speaking I have no idea what the trigger was. We got into some light bondage and some whips and crops and we took turns. She was not that keen on it but I loved it. Loved that she took total control and I suspect that as I am in a senior role in my business life it was just so great to not be in charge and I was entirely in the hands of another person.

 

[Cruelsmile5]

Once a level of comfort and experience is established with a submissive, I consider it a way to really get to know her, see how she views certain kinks and actions. So after a bit of time together, I’d offer her a time period, typically one day, where you switch roles. The submissive role doesn’t arouse me-but it helps the sub to understand the time & thought that the Dom puts into a scene, in regard to stimulation, pain, arousal, preparation. It also gives insight into how her mind works, which is a valuable learning experience. I view it as a useful part of a healthy bdsm dynamic.

 

[randyladynottooold]

For me, I knew the relationship I was in was in a huge rut and I wanted to make it better. Since changing others can be tough, I figured I minds well do something different and bold myself.

Getting home from work before her, we had a bed that was conducive to this. We had two sets of hand cuffs and soft rope, so I tied my ankles to the footposts of the bed easily enough, then handcuffed my right hand, and while I could not lock the handcuffs to a particular setting with that tiny locking device on my other hand, I could snap it into place so I was completely spread eagle and in naked bondage for her when she got home.

It was a little dangerous being bound that way alone for half an hour, but it was erotic and a huge surprise for her. I am glad I did it, and a few times after that with her as well. (For us, most times it was her in bondage).

Then what happened?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Honestly speaking I have no idea what the trigger was. We got into some light bondage and some whips and crops and we took turns. She was not that keen on it but I loved it. Loved that she took total control and I suspect that as I am in a senior role in my business life it was just so great to not be in charge and I was entirely in the hands of another person.

Thanks. This helps at least put one possible frame around the question.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I am confused why a supposedly naturally dominant person would want to be submissive in the first place. Why would you want to do something or act in a way thats fake and not be true to your core self?

That's why I'm asking. There are posts in other threads that indicate it's not uncommon. What was the tipping point, the trigger that exposed this seeming dichotomy in behavior?

Just so you know, I'm also asking because it is something I'm exploring in a story I'm writing, so... Thanks for your input so far.

 

[Erosfan]

My late wife and I got together late in our lives. Kids grown, no worries at home and so on. During one of our amazing love making sessions, she commented that she would like to tie me up and have her way with me. I told her she didn't need to tie me up because she could do as she wished with me.
I am in control in my professional life and I have a lot of responsibilities, so this intrigued me. I thought it might be nice to let go in our intimate life and see where she wanted to go.
We had some discussions and I told her I would be hers in our private lives. I really got into the mindset. I told her she could do whatever she wanted with me, to me or for me at any time or place of her choosing. I told her to choose wisely because I would not refuse her wishes. My only reservations were that we couldn't do things that would get us in trouble or arrested. She asked me to be specific as to what we could not do. The best example I could come up with is, she couldn't jerk me off in a grocery store. She grinned and said, "I got it."
She was good at pushing my boundaries. She had me naked on many occasions where we could have been seen and a few where we were. Hand jobs in the car while driving were not uncommon. She had an amazing imagination and used it for both our pleasure. I have no regrets.

 

[cdstefi]

The first rule of alpha club is, if you use it as a self-descriptor you're disqualified.

You don't get to decide if you're a dom or alpha personality. Others will let you know.

 

[Britva415]

This whole idea that being "naturally dominant" means you can't be submissive is false.

People who like to do both are "switches."

A switch may or may not switch with the same partner. They may or may not play one role with one partner and a different role with a different partner.

There of course are dominants who aren't switches and aren't turned on by submitting, but that says nothing at all about whether it's possible.

As you've noted, many people switch.

Switch is a misunderstood role, and it seems like a lot of people don't consider it an option and only discover it later, after settling into one role or the other.

So, there seem to be two types of "Natural dominant:" Those who say "sure, why not," without conflict, when the occasion to give switching a try comes about, and those who will either say "hell no" or "that really wasn't for me" if they do have doubts and resistance but try it.

This question is about the first type, not the second type.