A New Year A new Thread...
- Thread starter coldcase
- Start date
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*looks around* Have anyone special in mind?coldcase said:Quite correct my dear
coldcase
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*whimper* Oh fuck....now you've done it! *whimpers some more*coldcase said:actually i do....somewhere right in here would be a pleasent place to start
You realize, of course, that I'm going to permanently attach myself to that gorgeous cock. It'll be kinda like having your own hood ornament.
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LMAO! This is NY, baby. No one would give us a second glance.coldcase said:
Which would be a damn shame.
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*chuckle* Oh, well there's a surprise.coldcase said:yeah i like when people watch
Mmmmm...I like it, too.
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The only bad part is the 'wishing', instead of the 'doing'.coldcase said:is it back that I keep staring at your Av wishing i could rub my cock all over your ass....(opppss did i say that out loud)
And don't worry about saying things out loud. You'll have to, if you wanna be heard over me!
coldcase
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Hell why not...another joke
These two buddies are hanging out at a bar, and the one buddy says to the
other buddy " Hey man, what’s the deal with all this luck you have with
women? We both dress about the same, make the same amount of money,
and neither one of us is bad looking or anything. What’s your secret?" The
lucky guy says " You know, it’s all about the package." "The package, what
the hell do you mean?", says the unlucky guy. The lucky guy says " Every
time I go out, I stuff a potato down my pants. The women see that bulging
package and they come running!" " Cool!" says the unlucky guy, "I’ll give
that a shot sometime." About two weeks go by and they’re hanging out at a
bar again and the lucky guy asks his buddy " So, did you try out the potato
trick?" The unlucky guy, obviously upset, retorts back to friend " Man, I don’t
know what the deal is, but when I tried it the women ran away from me. Even
worse, they all pointed their fingers and laughed at me all night long! That
sucked, I got No action!" " That’s strange," says the lucky guy. " Everytime I
stuff a potato down the front of my pants, the girls all love it." " Oh, the
FRONT of the pants!" says the unlucky guy.
These two buddies are hanging out at a bar, and the one buddy says to the
other buddy " Hey man, what’s the deal with all this luck you have with
women? We both dress about the same, make the same amount of money,
and neither one of us is bad looking or anything. What’s your secret?" The
lucky guy says " You know, it’s all about the package." "The package, what
the hell do you mean?", says the unlucky guy. The lucky guy says " Every
time I go out, I stuff a potato down my pants. The women see that bulging
package and they come running!" " Cool!" says the unlucky guy, "I’ll give
that a shot sometime." About two weeks go by and they’re hanging out at a
bar again and the lucky guy asks his buddy " So, did you try out the potato
trick?" The unlucky guy, obviously upset, retorts back to friend " Man, I don’t
know what the deal is, but when I tried it the women ran away from me. Even
worse, they all pointed their fingers and laughed at me all night long! That
sucked, I got No action!" " That’s strange," says the lucky guy. " Everytime I
stuff a potato down the front of my pants, the girls all love it." " Oh, the
FRONT of the pants!" says the unlucky guy.
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Heart...and a few other choice body parts.coldcase said:Ummmmm a woman after my own heart
PS - cute jokes. Gotta love a man that knows how to have fun...in and out of bed.
coldcase
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The Love Dress
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you’re naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you’re naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What’s for dinner?"
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you’re naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you’re naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What’s for dinner?"
coldcase
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A little more levity
My Private Part Died Today:
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing
home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Lisa
asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Lisa," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and
I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she
replied, "Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his
private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Lisa. "Mr.
Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your private part back inside your pajamas." "But, Nurse Lisa,"
replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died."
Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"
asked Nurse Lisa.
"Well," he replied. "Today’s the viewing."
My Private Part Died Today:
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing
home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Lisa
asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Lisa," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and
I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she
replied, "Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his
private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Lisa. "Mr.
Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your private part back inside your pajamas." "But, Nurse Lisa,"
replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died."
Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"
asked Nurse Lisa.
"Well," he replied. "Today’s the viewing."
coldcase
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Last one...
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!".
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit".
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife’s vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I’m gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife’s vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife’s vagina."
The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady’s vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don’t think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself.
He then put his hands on the young lady’s breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!" he blasted.
The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I’m gonna drown the bastard
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!".
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit".
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife’s vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I’m gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife’s vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife’s vagina."
The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady’s vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don’t think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself.
He then put his hands on the young lady’s breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!" he blasted.
The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I’m gonna drown the bastard
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LOL.
"How about a big hand for Mr. Shecky Coldcase, ladies and germs. He's here Tuesdays and Fridays all month. Tell your friends.
And don't forget to tip the waiters on your way out!"
"How about a big hand for Mr. Shecky Coldcase, ladies and germs. He's here Tuesdays and Fridays all month. Tell your friends.
And don't forget to tip the waiters on your way out!"
coldcase
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bootgrrl said:LOL.
"How about a big hand for Mr. Shecky Coldcase, ladies and germs. He's here Tuesdays and Fridays all month. Tell your friends.
And don't forget to tip the waiters on your way out!"
*Bowing Cordially* Tahnk you boot cause god knows you are one of the only ones keeping this thread alive. And you know...that's not entirely a bad thing
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*muah* Well, as much as I'd love to keep you all to myself, I have no doubt that the rest of the luscious Lit ladies will find you soon. Very soon.coldcase said:*Bowing Cordially* Tahnk you boot cause god knows you are one of the only ones keeping this thread alive. And you know...that's not entirely a bad thing
Luckily I have my Go To The Head of The Line pass, so I'll be able to cut through the crowds later on.
coldcase
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bootgrrl said:*muah* Well, as much as I'd love to keep you all to myself, I have no doubt that the rest of the luscious Lit ladies will find you soon. Very soon.
Luckily I have my Go To The Head of The Line pass, so I'll be able to cut through the crowds later on.
Boot you my dear are on the lifetime no waiting list
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Better quote that for posterity, while I have the chance.coldcase said:Boot you my dear are on the lifetime no waiting list
So sweet...