A question for my fellow females

[SweetErika]

I've only used the Instead Cup. It can certainly be worn during foreplay, but my husband finds it extremely uncomfortable during sex, so I don't really count that as an option, even though I suppose a shorter cock or very shallow penetration would be fine.

They're not very expensive, so you can buy a box and see how they work for you. Definitely wear pads until you get the hang of proper placement and removal. I'd also suggest trying it out at home, like on a weekend, before you attempt to deal with it in public, and always having a backup method available just in case.

I mainly use tampons, but Instead (or another cup) is a good option for certain things, and some women swear by the permanently reusable cups (Moon, Diva, etc.).

Since you mentioned not knowing much about your body, I'd strongly suggest the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility as a good reference. It'll also help you if you're ever trying to conceive or avoid pregnancy. I thought I knew a lot until I read that book!

You also might want to look into some other cultures' beliefs on our cycles and menstruation. Some Native American/First Nations cultures believe menstruation is a time of great power, femininity and female bonding. In some tribes, the women go off as a group during menstruation because they're believed to be too "powerful" (in a good way) to be around men. It's not shameful, it's something to be revered and celebrated. Not that you have to adapt all of those beliefs, but knowing how other women view it may help you find some positives in it and maybe adapt your own rituals to make yourself feel better or pass down to younger women in your life.

 

[bailadora]

Since you mentioned not knowing much about your body, I'd strongly suggest the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility as a good reference. It'll also help you if you're ever trying to conceive or avoid pregnancy. I thought I knew a lot until I read that book!

*nods emphatically*

I second the recommendation for TCOYF. I think it should be required reading for all females.

 

[fire_breeze]

Thank you so much providing the link. However, after a quick glance, I am already completely overwhelmed. I need to regroup and spend some time reading, I think. I've never even heard of a "cup." And wanna know what's really sad? I wouldn't know my cervix if it reached up and bit me. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt so young and confused about my body.

Can you tell me, do you find the cup to be comfortable? And what would you say the major pros and cons are? I know that I hate how frequently I have to change pads and how relatively little protection they provide for my undergarments. I first started my period 16 years ago, and you would think I would have mastered dealing with it by now, but I think that my bleeding has gotten heavier over the years, especially in the past two. It really does kind of take me out of the game for a couple of days every month.

One last question...can cups be found in with pads and tampons in a drug store?

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the advice and resources!

The cups can be found in next to the pads and tampons. It's around that section, and usually on a separate and out of the way shelf.

Have you tried using tampons? On my heavy days, at times I'll use a combination of tampons and pads to prevent any accidents, and then I'll just use tampons. If your period is becoming heavier without any apparent reasons, then for your next annual, make sure you mention it to your doctor. It might be nothing - it usually is - but it never hurts to get a professional opinion.

Your cervix is lower portion of your uterus that joins with the top end of your vagina. It won't reach up, you have to do that (sorry! I couldn't resist ). Anyway, the picture below demonstrates it wonderfully
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/Scheme_female_reproductive_system-en.svg/250px-Scheme_female_reproductive_system-en.svg.png

You also might want to look into some other cultures' beliefs on our cycles and menstruation. Some Native American/First Nations cultures believe menstruation is a time of great power, femininity and female bonding. In some tribes, the women go off as a group during menstruation because they're believed to be too "powerful" (in a good way) to be around men. It's not shameful, it's something to be revered and celebrated. Not that you have to adapt all of those beliefs, but knowing how other women view it may help you find some positives in it and maybe adapt your own rituals to make yourself feel better or pass down to younger women in your life.

Warning: cultural anthropologist coming out.
Many people are incorporating menarche and menstrual rituals because there are no female puberty rites in the Western world, and it's a way to positively educated young women about their bodies and sex and not to be ashamed of this natural and HEALTHY physical and natural occurrence.
(and for gender equality, many people are also incorporating male rites of passages for the same reason - to teach positively).

To further what SweetE has said, you may wish to explore a bit on the Sunrise Ritual Isanaklesh mythology of the Apache (more precisely Mescarelo Apache) culture. The short version is that it's a puberty cycle for girls that involve the entire community in celebrating her transition during her menarche. Furthermore, at one point of the ritual, she embodies Isanaklesh (or White Painted Woman), who is an extremely powerful entity. People of her tribe, when the girl is in this transformative state, will come to her as she is believed to have strong healing powers. For some non-academic reads, you may want to start with 'Becoming Woman" by Tika Yupanqui, who gives a first hand account. For nerdish reads, check out Ines Talamantez's The Presence of Isanaklesh: A Native American Goddess and the Path of Pollen.

Also, Australian Aborigines have some rather intriguing menarche and menstrual rituals. For the longest time, anthropologists
Anywho, these rituals were thought to have originated in the Dreamtime, and then men imitated them. The male 'menstrual' rituals were bright and colourful and public and of course male anthropologists were allowed to see them (but not women). The female rituals were separated and bright and colourful and private but were banned from men. Rita Gross wrote a lot on it, and she's extremely accessible.

There are quite a bit of menstrual rituals throughout the world - unfortunately, they are not documented. Phooey.

Okay, I'll shut up now. I've bored three classes this week, I don't need to bore more people!

 

[bailadora]

Okay, I'll shut up now. I've bored three classes this week, I don't need to bore more people!

Pffft, please. If people don't wanna read, they can skip over it. Me - I like it when you go all anthropologist on us. Carry on!

 

[Elaya]

Definitely wear pads until you get the hang of proper placement and removal. I'd also suggest trying it out at home, like on a weekend, before you attempt to deal with it in public, and always having a backup method available just in case.

I definitely second that!
I use a Diva cup. There are two sizes, search out their website and it will tell you all about them. I always make sure I have back up pads with me though, as if/when you need to change it, you need a private bathroom to do it in. Stalls in public places will not work. I find it far too messy to use in a public bathroom. I'd say use a combo of pads and a cup until you get comfortable with one. Also, I always make sure that either, the cup is inserted/changed a half hour before I have to leave the house, or I wear a pantyliner. it seems 2 out of 10 times, it will insert incorrectly, and so leak. So I make sure there is ample time for me to know if I need to reinsert or wear a pad. Also, the key to these things are the little wholes around the top edge. These need to be "clear", with no liquid trapped inside, as they are what creates the "suction" or seal, or so I've read. So for this reason, I keep toothpicks handy for when they are hard to unblock.

 

[Mr.G]

Never turned me OFF - never turned me on

It's just a fact of life. Have a shower. Put a towel down. On your mark. Get set ... GO!!

I found that even oral was OK because I could stay at the top (clit) to give a nice O from a good tongue lashing and as long as I didn't delve down too far I didn't emerge looking like Drac after attacking a bleeder!!

No big deal anyway.

Other bodily expulsions are a no-no but a period is a natural function and should not be viewed as dirty. I know it's hard to get past for a lot of guys but, personally I think treating her like a leper during her period is pretty immature. Besides most women get 20 to 30 % hornier leading up to their period anyway and who can argue with a horny lover?

 

[NaturistLouise]

Period Sex

I'm not up for anything sexual when I'm in the throes of cramps........

During the years when I had periods, the quote above summed up my feelings on Day 1 and 2. After that, it was normal sex taking cleanup precautions as necessary.

This thread did bring back some memories of the early Womens Liberation Movement. I can remember back in 1970 when Germaine Greer, in her International best seller The Female Eunuch wrote"If you think you are emancipated, you might consider the idea of tasting your own menstrual blood - if it makes you sick, you've got a long way to go, baby."

I think that the majority of women thought this to be a little extreme, but to me, it helps females realize that sex is normal and periods are normal.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

I have some of my best orgasms when we have sex and I'm on my period, and I'm certainly more horny than any other time of the month (unless I'm drunk on vodka - than I'm on overdrive) - we have showers and soap, so after sex, if it was super messy a quick shower takes care of the mess. Thick dark towels save the sheets, and all is well with the world.

I have to agree here. When I am on my period I literally crave sex I am all but sure it has to do with the overflow (ignore the pun) of hormones but there are these things called showers. Take one meet him at your bed lay something down to protect your sheets and then have fun with it! I can say that while on my period and masturbating I have had some amazing orgasms also. And again if you need to clean up showers are again a good thing.

I mean obviously on heavier flow days I am not going to initiate but there are just days that it would help!

 

[Girl2P4U]

Both Karen and I both have high sex drives and during our periods it is no different. As she is my partner I will do anything for her and she for me. But period sex is always a blast, be it in the shower or in bed with a towel to cover up. And masterbation either solo or mutual is a must, always has been since I was a teenager.

 

[tryliz]

I used to go down on my ex or let him have my bum which we both loved.