A question to dominant women regarding submissive/feminine males

[AfterDusk]

I look at it as an equal balance. The male under presure all day,decision making, then comes home to a wife who takes over the male presures of the day, while he gets relaxed and feminized . This would include dressing and feeling very feminine, and doing the chores around the house, while in this state. Sounds like a good balance for a marriage.

Ohhh buddy. I’m going to bite my tongue and see if perhaps one of these other Lit ladies will set you straight.

 

[midlifecrisispanties]

Ohhh buddy. I’m going to bite my tongue and see if perhaps one of these other Lit ladies will set you straight.

I think he was referring to me being the one dressing feminine and doing the chores, etc.

 

[AfterDusk]

I look at it as an equal balance. The male under presure all day,decision making, then comes home to a wife who takes over the male presures of the day, while he gets relaxed and feminized . This would include dressing and feeling very feminine, and doing the chores around the house, while in this state. Sounds like a good balance for a marriage.

I think he was referring to me being the one dressing feminine and doing the chores, etc.

Yeah, I was referring more to the idea that “male pressures of the day” alludes to a woman having zero pressures or decision making or stress. The poorly way it is worded makes it sound like she’s sitting on her ass doing absolutely nothing until she gratefully takes over this tough life from him so he can primp around the house to do mindless tasks.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

I believe a man can enjoy both masculinity and femininity. Ideally, I would like being with a man who appreciated my strength and was drawn to it, yet not feel that it diminished his masculinity, nor that I wanted that to be the case.

Him dressing up is not my thing, but I think his femininity can be expressed in other ways, by keeping himself smooth for example. It all boils down to their dynamic and what brings them both happiness.

 

[CrowdedStranger]

I'm masculine but have had that feminine side since my teens. My wife was never Domme enough to take advantage of it. She doesn't know what she could have had.

 

[Pussiboi2]

May I agree.

What an interesting question. While feminizing isn't my specialty, per se. I do like a man who knows his way around a hairbush, a razor, a washing machine, and a mop.

My subs have all presented masculine and certainly were authentically masculine. It was a true facet of themselves. However, there is something about breaking a 'manly' man down to his knees that really suits me. It's the subtle changes as he shrugs off the rest of the world and crawls to someone who he can trust to take care of everything.

Publicly, watching strangers defer to him (example: watching a waitress ask him his order like he has a choice) all the while knowing that every decision that led him to be in that place, from what he wore to what he orders, was one I made? Heavenly.

If I may, you sound very much like what I want my mistress to be. As a beta I've found the brush and sharp razor quite awhile ago. The condition of my lingerie can prove that. I live alone so I better know about a broom mop washer kitchen etc... Been told jokingly Id make a good house bitch but I think they were serious. Willing to service and I do what I'm told. So where are all the good Mistresses?

 

[Thom_the_gleeman]

This thread has been very informing for me, thank you all. Although I do not feel the need to dress feminine, I too have a pretty alpha role due to my work, while sexually I am more into pleasing and caregiving... I hope I can explore this more

Love,

Thom

 

[ProfessorPendark]

I'm a beta male, who appears alpha by virtue of work and other associations. My femininity is in the extremely tight and organized grasp I have developed over my softer nature. I am deeply in touch with my feminine side, even though I am 6 feet tall, with a lightly hairy body, shaved head, tattoos, etc. I am the nurturer to our son, the hostess for company, the domestic when not at work. I defer to her will on all things. I now dress as feminine 24-7, but beneath masculine clothes, because our siruation calls for some discretion. My femininity is in my nature.

I have heard that some women have a fetish for submissive males who look like they should be dominant. Is that true?
__________________

In my past experiences, I have seen that this is also true of both Dominants and submissives of various personal sexuality. It is not uncommon, for instance, for a male, gay, submissive to be attracted to a larger, more hirsute Dominant.

I have also been in situations where a female Dominant had a larger, physically "masculine" male who was dressed in no more than a collar and pink panties serving us drinks and doing various chores throughout the night.

I, myself, was originally trained to be Dominant by a female trainer, who insisted that I first understand the emotions of a submissive before using the tools and techniques myself. I learned a great deal from that experience. And, yes, I did wear the collars and whatever else she told me to wear while in my submissive training before the switch.

So, that was a very long way of saying, No, you aren't alone. As others have said, there is a great exchange of power that takes place between Dominant and submissive. And in your case, the power exchange is enhanced by your "non-traditional" appearance as her submissive. It may not be the most common of scenarios, but if it works for you and your Mistress, I wish you joy.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

It's a fascinating dynamic that I enjoy discussing and exploring. Many subtleties possible with the right chemistry.

 

[lowcollar]

My mistress prefers me strong and bearded until she tells me what to do.

 

[LeaHaven]

I have heard that some women have a fetish for submissive males who look like they should be dominant. Is that true?
__________________

I am totally new to this kind of topic, so I hope this does not sound stupid.

My husband and I were virgins when we got married 2 years ago. It is embarrassing admitting that, but we both have very conservative parents who to this day still try to direct our lives. My husband works construction, hard days and strenuous work in all types of hard weather. In every way he looks and lives the part of the aggressive, masculine male, and all his friends are the same. But at home and in our marriage, he wants me to be "the boss." In a way, I always have been, because he has always deferred decisions to me. Up until about a year ago, I pushed this idea away. It is not the traditional marriage. But we were becoming distant, and our sex life was really awkward (still kind of is), so I decided to consider his ideas. It has taken some getting used to, but so far it is working out ok. There are things he wants of me that I am not sure I will ever do, but our relationship is much better than it was.

He likes me to be bossy and have things my way. I am still learning how to do that, but I am no longer afraid to give it a go. For example, I have not cooked dinner in months. I make him do it, and I tell him what I want to eat each night. He seems to really like that, and he cleans up the kitchen afterwards.

I have to go. He's coming

 

[LeaHaven]

I am totally new to this kind of topic, so I hope this does not sound stupid.

My husband and I were virgins when we got married 2 years ago. It is embarrassing admitting that, but we both have very conservative parents who to this day still try to direct our lives. My husband works construction, hard days and strenuous work in all types of hard weather. In every way he looks and lives the part of the aggressive, masculine male, and all his friends are the same. But at home and in our marriage, he wants me to be "the boss." In a way, I always have been, because he has always deferred decisions to me. Up until about a year ago, I pushed this idea away. It is not the traditional marriage. But we were becoming distant, and our sex life was really awkward (still kind of is), so I decided to consider his ideas. It has taken some getting used to, but so far it is working out ok. There are things he wants of me that I am not sure I will ever do, but our relationship is much better than it was.

He likes me to be bossy and have things my way. I am still learning how to do that, but I am no longer afraid to give it a go. For example, I have not cooked dinner in months. I make him do it, and I tell him what I want to eat each night. He seems to really like that, and he cleans up the kitchen afterwards.

I have to go. He's coming

Continuing...

There are other chores and things he has taken over. I could get used to that. In the bedroom I have learned that if I do not direct everything, it will not be so good. It's never really great, and this is where I would prefer he were more aggressive and masculine. He would like me to find that kind of sex elsewhere, and I am beginning to really think about that. I am a little desperate for good sex.

I do not know if he is interested in wearing girl clothes, but I hope not. That is probably too much for me to accept.

I do not know if any of that makes sense.

 

[LeaHaven]

I hope I didn't say something wrong

 

[nothingatall27]

I hope I didn't say something wrong

You’re all good Leah. Just say what you need to say.

 

[PaxNurgle]

It's sadly not too uncommon with people who have been sexually repressed, and not allowed to freely experiment and express their own sexuality due to either upbringing, or lingering feelings of guilt as a result. It is possible that his submissive attitude may simply stem from lack of confidence in his own sexuality, having never really learned the "mechanics" of it due to sex being such a taboo. Or, he may have discovered that he is truely "kinky" but because even "Vanilla" sex was so taboo, he just doesn't know enough about what he wants. Either way I feel bad for you. I hope you and your husband work it out.

 

[LeaHaven]

It's sadly not too uncommon with people who have been sexually repressed, and not allowed to freely experiment and express their own sexuality due to either upbringing, or lingering feelings of guilt as a result. It is possible that his submissive attitude may simply stem from lack of confidence in his own sexuality, having never really learned the "mechanics" of it due to sex being such a taboo. Or, he may have discovered that he is truely "kinky" but because even "Vanilla" sex was so taboo, he just doesn't know enough about what he wants. Either way I feel bad for you. I hope you and your husband work it out.

That makes sense. I think he wants to do better, but he does not last very long at all, and it embarrasses him. He can see my disappointment sometimes, and I am ashamed to say that I have not been too good at hiding it, and that has made matters worse. Sometimes I think he is so nervous before we start that it is a foregone conclusion. Everything I read says he will get better with time, but it has been 2 years. How long does it take? Nothing I try works, but what is more frustrating is that I do not see him trying. He just keeps dropping suggestive comments about other guys, which get really annoying sometimes. And so here I am, venting on Literotica in the middle of the night. Lame.

 

[LeaHaven]

My last response was me thinking I was in a different thread. OMG. Now I am embarrassing myself.

Can someone stop the world, please? I want to get off.

 

[whenagain]

My last response was me thinking I was in a different thread. OMG. Now I am embarrassing myself.

Can someone stop the world, please? I want to get off.

I’m pretty sure everyone who posts on lit has done this at least once. You’re fine.

 

[SissySalina]

Are you able to think about what you want? Have found that most relationships take a lot of work and honest open discussion. He may be unsure but can you be sure! She and sissy have quiet nights, these are nights where we just site on the sofa holding each other rambling on about different stuff that crosses our minds. It helps the relationship a lot.
You may want to try something like that.

 

[PaxNurgle]

^I like that. This is exactly how I would envision any relationship, whether based on "vanilla" sexual activity, or wild and kinky D/s activity, or just romance in general. Give and take,open communication, even if you are the "Sub" and not everything has to be strict protocal. There should be a place for just romance and cuddling, in any relationship.

 

[LasTime]

I am totally new to this kind of topic, so I hope this does not sound stupid.

My husband and I were virgins when we got married 2 years ago. It is embarrassing admitting that, but we both have very conservative parents who to this day still try to direct our lives. My husband works construction, hard days and strenuous work in all types of hard weather. In every way he looks and lives the part of the aggressive, masculine male, and all his friends are the same. But at home and in our marriage, he wants me to be "the boss." In a way, I always have been, because he has always deferred decisions to me. Up until about a year ago, I pushed this idea away. It is not the traditional marriage. But we were becoming distant, and our sex life was really awkward (still kind of is), so I decided to consider his ideas. It has taken some getting used to, but so far it is working out ok. There are things he wants of me that I am not sure I will ever do, but our relationship is much better than it was.

He likes me to be bossy and have things my way. I am still learning how to do that, but I am no longer afraid to give it a go. For example, I have not cooked dinner in months. I make him do it, and I tell him what I want to eat each night. He seems to really like that, and he cleans up the kitchen afterwards.

I have to go. He's coming

And in the bedroom?

 

[LeaHaven]

And in the bedroom?

In the bedroom I guess is never going to be what I thought it would be. I have to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing and then direct us the best I know how.

 

[LasTime]

In the bedroom I guess is never going to be what I thought it would be.

What did you think it would be?

 

[LeaHaven]

What did you think it would be?

I am sorry I did not respond. I gave up on this website. It seems to be for an older, more experienced crowd. I only came in here now to delete my account.

What did I think it would be? Idk. Love and pleasure, I guess.

Thank you for commenting.

 

[nothingatall27]

I am sorry I did not respond. I gave up on this website. It seems to be for an older, more experienced crowd. I only came in here now to delete my account.

What did I think it would be? Idk. Love and pleasure, I guess.

Thank you for commenting.

There's room for everyone really if you choose to hang around, and love and pleasure are both fair expectations