This made me laugh. It's from "The Texanist," an advice column in Texas Monthly:
Q: My husband originally hails from Wisconsin, and I was raised in Indiana. After three years in the Lone Star State, we have become comfortable throwing a “y’all” or “fixin’ to” into our conversations at home, but we still feel a little unqualified to use these expressions in public. At what point, if ever, can we boldly use them around native Texans?
-Kathy Steinke, Tomball
A: You are wise to be concerned about this. As with any patois, it is extremely rare for anyone other than the legitimate born-and-bred Texan to achieve complete mastery of the native tongue. But there are enough examples of zealous converts attaining near fluency (Ray Benson, Jerry Jeff Walker, George W. Bush) that you are encouraged to proceed—with caution. “Y’all” is generally accepted as a good introductory term for a would-be Texan undergoing the naturalization process. Its meaning is uncomplicated, it is easy to pronounce, and it is already in heavy usage throughout other regions of the country. Nevertheless, certain rules do apply. To begin with, the Texanist advocates a waiting period of no less than two years following relocation to Texas before initial public deployment of “y’all.” You and Mr. Steinke have met this requirement and may now move forth, but the Texanist advises you to stick to basic usage (e.g., “Excuse me, do y’all have a public restroom?”), as opposed to more complex forms such as the plural possessive (e.g., “Ma’am, where is y’all’s public restroom?”) or the exclamation (“There’s no public restroom? C’mon, y’all!”). These are best left to the natives. The Texanist further recommends advancing from “y’all” to “howdy” before attempting “fixin’ to” or, even more challenging, “yeehaw!” The fact that you have dedicated yourself to at-home immersion will no doubt speed the process.
Q: My husband originally hails from Wisconsin, and I was raised in Indiana. After three years in the Lone Star State, we have become comfortable throwing a “y’all” or “fixin’ to” into our conversations at home, but we still feel a little unqualified to use these expressions in public. At what point, if ever, can we boldly use them around native Texans?
-Kathy Steinke, Tomball
A: You are wise to be concerned about this. As with any patois, it is extremely rare for anyone other than the legitimate born-and-bred Texan to achieve complete mastery of the native tongue. But there are enough examples of zealous converts attaining near fluency (Ray Benson, Jerry Jeff Walker, George W. Bush) that you are encouraged to proceed—with caution. “Y’all” is generally accepted as a good introductory term for a would-be Texan undergoing the naturalization process. Its meaning is uncomplicated, it is easy to pronounce, and it is already in heavy usage throughout other regions of the country. Nevertheless, certain rules do apply. To begin with, the Texanist advocates a waiting period of no less than two years following relocation to Texas before initial public deployment of “y’all.” You and Mr. Steinke have met this requirement and may now move forth, but the Texanist advises you to stick to basic usage (e.g., “Excuse me, do y’all have a public restroom?”), as opposed to more complex forms such as the plural possessive (e.g., “Ma’am, where is y’all’s public restroom?”) or the exclamation (“There’s no public restroom? C’mon, y’all!”). These are best left to the natives. The Texanist further recommends advancing from “y’all” to “howdy” before attempting “fixin’ to” or, even more challenging, “yeehaw!” The fact that you have dedicated yourself to at-home immersion will no doubt speed the process.
