A thin line between flirting, and kindness !

[TirelessTongue]

I've got a question for the ladies on this board. My question deals with flirting and knowing if you others are trying to flirt or just being hospitable.

Since I'm pretty much a loner and all, especially since I've been single for over a year.....I've had 2 strange occurances that have had me wondering if women were trying to flirt with me. Now I am naturally shy and not very good at approaching women, therefore I rarely start up conversations with them. Therefore I probably wouldn't know too well if they were flirting or just being nice.

Both of my occurances took place at a restaurant. Over a year ago, I was seated and waited on by an attractive yet short brunette (I really dig brunettes). She asked me how I can eat out alone? I just told her I was used to it. Now I just felt that it was an unusual question to ask of a patron.

The most recent occurance I had was when I was eating alone at an italian restaurant to satisfy my craving for italian food. I was waited on by another brunette, with a beautiful smile. It was a busy night at the restaurant and she served me well and checked up on me with this great big smile. She even called me "darlin" once.

Am I overreacting? or was that just nice southern hospitality? or was there an attempt at flirting? I just want a woman's point of view. How do most women usually flirt with some men?

 

[tythisredheadup]

Where you in the South? Down here, we call everybody 'Darlin', 'Sugar', 'Baby', etc.

 

[TirelessTongue]

I'm in New York by the way.......... Maybe I'm just not used to people calling me darlin or smiling at me like that?

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Maybe she was originally from the south. I have the habit of calling everyone Sweetie. Just something we do down here. I'm not saying she couldn't have been flirting, because she very well may have. I just can't tell from that one thing.

 

[H0wl]

Flirting

I'm a tech support geek, I spend all day on the phone. There are women who will call you hon, darling, sweetie, etc without any particular reason.

It does seem to be southern thing. I find it amusing and pleasant

Maybe they were flirting a little, nothing wrong with that. Just flirt back a little bit and enjoy it for what it is.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Re: Flirting

I'm a tech support geek, I spend all day on the phone. There are women who will call you hon, darling, sweetie, etc without any particular reason.

It does seem to be southern thing. I find it amusing and pleasant

Maybe they were flirting a little, nothing wrong with that. Just flirt back a little bit and enjoy it for what it is.

I have to agree..just flirt back. It's fun. I was a huge flirt when I worked as a waitress...ok who am I kidding. I still am. It was always a lot of fun when people would flirt back.

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

more questions then answers

I am a skeptic. Any time there is a Tip envolved I would take any Flirting with a grain of salt. Is it genuine? It is hard to say. Do you want to find out, then call them on it. Check for a wedding band and if there is none. Ask them to join you the next time you go out to eat. Go for it. If it fails so what they will be flattered that you asked and you haven't lost anything.

Good luck

Holden

Go Forth and Be Bold!

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Re: more questions then answers

I am a skeptic. Any time there is a Tip envolved I would take any Flirting with a grain of salt. Is it genuine? It is hard to say. Do you want to find out, then call them on it. Check for a wedding band and if there is none. Ask them to join you the next time you go out to eat. Go for it. If it fails so what they will be flattered that you asked and you haven't lost anything.

Good luck

Holden

Go Forth and Be Bold!

I understand why you would be skeptic about that. A lot of servers flirt just to get a tip. I did it just for the fun...the tips were nice too. I guess for me it was great just to see someone smiling.

 

[Mrs Peel]

I'm a New Yorker who's never worked as a waitress. My opinion:

Good chance they were simply being friendly in an effort to make work more interesting and fun, and maybe get better tips as well - with no real desire to see you again.

Equally good chance they wanted to flirt with you, hoping to get to know you. I suppose work is a place where a waitress meets lots of men, some of whom she finds interesting.

Whether "friendly" (with no real goal) or "flirting" (with a later goal), what these women did seems like a reasonable way to open a conversation. You can't know whether it could go further unless you participate. It seems like you blew off the opening. Next time, I'd recommend playing along in conversation (without necessarily expecting anything) to see what happens. You never know.

 

[H0wl]

I'm of the opinion that a lot of flirting really DOESN'T have a goal.

It's just for the pleasure of knowing that someone else finds you attractive/personable.

 

[assister49]

Most likely the women were just being nice. Most women act nice just because they are nice. They do not have ulterior motives in most cases (however there is always the exception). While on the other hand, sex is always first and formost on the mind's of most men (also exceptions) and usually everything a women does or says is filtered through the man's sex filter.

Hence, you are wondering if women are flirting with you when they just say hi. Maybe they are just saying hi.

Participating (as Mrs. Peel mentioned) in a friendly way (with no ulterior motives) would have likely answered your questions.

 

[Noor]

flirting doesn't have to have any meaning except for fun.

I would wait for the outright pass or phone number slipped to you before jumping to conclusions.

Or you could move here, to minnesota, where saying hi is often considered an indication of interest at least by the native male population.

 

[TirelessTongue]

I guess she wasn't flirting with me after all. In both cases, I really wish she was. But I didn't think that in this day and age I can tell the difference.

 

[Noor]

I guess she wasn't flirting with me after all. In both cases, I really wish she was. But I didn't think that in this day and age I can tell the difference.

You can also try flirting back, it is good practice for when you meet someone you really want to flirt with.

 

[H0wl]

Hear hear!

Yep, flirt away!

Who knows? Maybe she really IS interested. If not and it goes nowhere, then you got some practice and had a pleasant interaction. If she is....

 

[fgarvb1]

Being down here in Texas I don't think twice about. If I wanted to find out for sure I would flirt back raising the stakes so to speak an see where it leads.

However, being married nowadays i have to pull in my horns pretty quick... some of the Texas women will call your bluff in a heart beat!