Absence of Conscience

[Indigo Spirit]

The Beast took another step forward and as he did I felt something shift within him, as if another entity had joined us inside, and as I searched for the meaning of it I suddenly knew I was seeing for the first time the alter ego of the Hunter...and it chilled me.

"I was not the one that tore us apart, my mate. It was HE and in my own grief I did the only two things I could"

And with the startling words I heard a new tone escape his lips and accompanying them the image of his great form bent over and holding the now dead body of.... Bridget?

"He took you away from me. Destroyed what we once had...the way we reveled in life, in love and in the HUNT..."

And again I saw clearly the two sleek forms running across the plains, the smaller nuzzling the larger and rubbing her form against his as they nearly flew across the grassy meadow, and knew Bridget saw and felt as I did the raw power in the image...and wanted it as well.

"I took the only chance I had, my mate...to guarantee I lived in his form long enough to let time pass and find you again, and to plague him with the reminder of his misdeed"

Was it true? I asked myself and felt the chill grow, knowing at least a part of it was and not being able to decipher it, the shock of hearing and feeling the other side of the beast still making me numb.

"I was once called Morte rapido preto by the peasants we roamed among, my mate...Do you remember?"

And then I began to wonder as I heard the beast's soothing tone and saw the memories he projected towards Bridget, of the sheer happiness the two once shared, shuddering in the growing cold of his aura as Bridget basked in the warmth of their memories.


"You called me Minha Vida then...and it could be so once more, if you only wanted to return to it again and stepped thru that door to me"

And so it was...the choice lay before Bridget as I pondered the two titles he had just disclosed...the first translating to "swift black death" and being an apt description of the beast when he hunted, the second a fonder label given to him by Bridget...one that showed her love so long ago..."my life"... a love I wondered if it were still inside her for him...and was blinding her?

"Step across that threshold and join me, my mate for life"

And at the subtle reminder the beast was like his wolfing brethren, that he too chose one mate for life...I felt it was all lost.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bridget

Bridget opened her eyes as she sensed the Beast taking a step nearer to her.
Her eyes met his as he spoke.

"I was not the one that tore us apart, my mate. It was HE and in my own grief I did the only two things I could"

She drew her breath in sharply as she experienced the pain of her slaughter, as she felt him bend over her and knew she was trapped, parted from him, unable to reach out any longer.

"He took you away from me..destroyed what we once had...the way we revelled in life, in love and in the HUNT..."

Bridget unconsciously pressed herself against the bars, seeing the images he shared with her.
Remembering what it had been like to be free, to be wild, to be united.
All that time ago, they had belonged to each other, moved as one.

"I took the only chance I had, my mate...to guarantee I lived in his form long enough to let time pass and find you again, and to plague him with the reminder of his misdeed"

Had he merely been living to find her again?
If that were true, why all the killing?
She shook her head now as if in denial.
This had to be about more than merely him trying to find her, to be with her once more.

"I was once called Morte rapido preto by the peasants we roamed among, my mate...Do you remember?"

Again Bridget raised her eyes to his.
"swift black death"
She nodded.
His tone was hypnotic, he words claiming her over and over as his as he called to her, called to his mate.

"You called me Minha Vida then...”

Bridget smiled in recognition.
.."my life"...
She whispered the translation to herself.

” … and it could be so once more, if you only wanted to return to it again and stepped thru that door to me"

Bridget looked towards the door.
She looked back at the creature before her.
He now seemed half mutated, half man, half beast, but totally familiar, totally … hers …

"Step across that threshold and join me, my mate for life"

Bridget felt his power hold her immobile.
Again she saw them… saw the times they had hunted together, run together, moved as one …
and then she saw, she re-lived that final separation,
seeing the scene as if she were merely an outside observer this time,
watching how he nuzzled her body, how he spoke to her, how desperately he tried to rouse her until howling he realised that the wound was fatal and had brought with it a cruelly swift death.

Bridget shook her head to clear the painful images.
Looking down she saw the steel of the door before her.
She had not realised that she had moved.
She did not remember moving from where she had stood.
Her hands clenched. She saw they were already raw from pulling uselessly at the lock.

… the key …

Where had Trevain put it?

She took a step back and turned to look on the table.
Suddenly she halted.

”Trevain”

She whispered the name, her head spinning.

"Remember the difference between love and lust when he comes"

He had told her.

If crossing the centuries to find her was not love, then what was?
Her reasoning was simplistic, but made sense at that moment.
Desperately she began to search for the key to unlock the cage door, to allow her to join her mate.

 

[Indigo Spirit]

And for the first time I understood. Understood the agonizing pain that drove the beast to the measures that he took, understood and cursed myself for being the idiot that believed I was the righteous one and he the aggressor.

"I'm sorry" I apologized to both the beast and the woman outside the cage, knowing neither heard me or cared. "Forgive me for what I have done, wanting to love the one I tore from you"

And the Beast laughed at me, understanding his revenge was now complete, that we had gone full circle and he was now the victor...and I?

I was defeated. Lost as I watched Bridget locate the key on the table and turn with it firmly in her grip, the movement a reflection of lithe, animal reflex...her eyes flashing red as she looked to the Beast eyes for approval.

"Tell her you love her" I tried a final time, my own will nearly gone as Bridget placed the key in the heavy lock and turned it, the tumblers inside it clicking like thunder to the Beast's ears. "Tell her what it means to love someone"

And then I was falling, somehow moving down a deep, dark abyss that had no bottom, only cooled with each foot it drew me further and further into.

And above me I heard the hinges creak as the door opened and the Beasts command.

"Come to me, my mate, come and give yourself to me so that we may be as one"

And the abyss had a name as it swallowed me up, wrapping it's cold, uncaring arms around me...and that name was...despair.

"Remember the difference..." I moaned a final time, my metamorphical hand lifted to Bridget...knowing it wasn't to be seen.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bridget

Bridget found the key and walked towards the door.
Deftly, she turned the key in the lock and heard it click free.
Her eyes went to her mate as she sensed His anticipation.
Almost effortlessly it seemed, Bridget opened the door, the heavy metal creaking as it swung open giving the Beast his freedom and removing any defence between them.

Bridget stood still outside the cage and looked across at the creature she had once belonged to. Her head had been full of shared images, images of a common past. Now as she looked, without the barrier of the heavy steel, Bridget saw the reality of the Beast before her.
Her eyes moved over His naked body.
She saw his rippling torso as he remained immobile, yet exuding power.
She locked her gaze on His, looking into His eyes, but was startled to find hostility rather than warmth.
Bridget flinched as he casually kicked away the fabric that had been Trevain’s pants.
The garment was now mere shredded tatters upon the floor.
It seemed that the Beast had discarded the man with equal ease … and she ….?

"Come to me, my mate, come and give yourself to me so that we may be as one"

His voice called out to her, more in order than in entreaty or loving invitation.
Again Bridget hesitated.
Everything between them was … instinctive.
How could it not be?
Yet was that love?
If their unity was so … bestial … was that merely … lust?

”Why..?”

She questioned, not sure if merely her mind had spoken.
She longed to be reassured, to be able to take that step towards Him.

But she could not rid her mind of Trevain.
She thought about their brief time together; about the warmth of his eyes, his kind words, his loving concern for her safety.

And now …?

The beast sensed her thoughts, her hesitation as He waited for her to come to Him.
Sensing His unrest, Bridget brought her attention back to Him and flinched at His expression.
Bridget could both see and feel the anger, the real hatred that emanated from Him.
Why did he want her?
Was He doing this merely for revenge?
What would happen to Trevain, if she gave herself back to her mate?

Unconsciously, Bridget took a step back, keeping beyond the now open door.

”Trevain…”

She had not realised that she had spoken his name until she heard the soft noise, almost like a growl.

”What… will happen to Trevain… when … if… ?“

She persisted softly, seeking reassurance…

Contrary to her hopes, the Beast hurled his words of accusation at her, reminding her that she was speaking up for her murderer.
His words made her feel as if even speaking Trevain’s name was a supreme betrayal!
Bridget’s mind raced as it grew more confused.

There had been reasons why Trevain had killed, she reflected.
He had killed out of an instinct for survival.
He was a soldier and had responded to the situation as a trained man would.
There had been no malice in the blow that killed her, no more intent to harm and defeat than when she and her mate had hunted and killed.
The instinct was inbuilt and they had merely followed their path.
But what of the beast…?

Bridget knew that He was following every thought.
His eyes were locked on hers as her read her treacherous enquiry.

There was no denying what they had been to each other in the past, but just what was the Beast offering her now?

”Come to me!”

His voice cut through her thoughts with powerful authority.
His words were a harsh command.
Stepping forward, the beast held out a hand.
She was so close now.
He was determined not to let her go, not to let Trevain take her from him this time!

Bridget looked at the hand outstretched towards her, but still she hesitated at the doorway of the cage.

 

[Indigo Spirit]

The Beast

Power began to build within the room and to each sense it took a diiferent meaning.

To the eye it came as a dull red glow that rippled behind the beasts head, highlighting it as the beast rose to his full heighth.

To the ear a low growl, from the rippling muscles that layered his body and then out the equally muscled throat and over his tongue.

To the nostrils it came as the burning smell of ozone, created when electricity seperates it from the air it crackles thru before striking without warning...

And without warning the beast lunged forward, towards the woman who was once his mate and now???

Razor edge nails extended from the massive hands as he moved, arms spread wide in a move that could be interpeted as one intended to capture...and as with two swift steps the distance seperating them was removed and the Beast's glowing eyes suddenly stopped in front of...his mate?

"By taking this man's form I have relinquished my own...LOST the ability to do what my instinct craves for and needs to survive as the HUNTER I truly am. "

The words came from lips that oddly could be called human...as the face slowly changed before Bridget and the eyes did as well, losing the anger and becoming as well...almost human. And in the brown orbs of those eyes, the anger was lost...replaced by something not seen for centuries...

"Ask yourself my mate...if you cannot understand the motive behind my actions...done against all natural instincts in order to follow you thru time? Has your time among the humans destroyed the ability to feel the emotion we put no name to?"

And again the image of two wild animals running over the rolling, grassy plains came to both...and with it the feelings shared by them as two beings who live together, who revelled in it and because of those emotions...knew they were ALIVE.

The taloned fingers were wrapped around the open frame of the door, the beasts torso hovering overing the woman who had opened it for an unsure purpose as he looked into the womans eyes, and asked softly.

"Have you forgotten what it was like to be truly alive?"

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bridget Taylor

Bridget gave a cry as the Beast lunged towards her.
The distance between them was closed now.
He stood in the doorway of the cage, his eyes on hers.
She looked up standing immobile, frozen in part fright, part confusion.

"By taking this man's form I have relinquished my own...LOST the ability to do what my instinct craves for and needs to survive as the HUNTER I truly am. "

Bridget heard his voice, the anger, the insistence.
And then it was gone.
The softness, the gentleness took her breath away.

"Ask yourself my mate...if you cannot understand the motive behind my actions...done against all natural instincts in order to follow you thru time?
Has your time among the humans destroyed the ability to feel the emotion we put no name to?"

Bridget watched the replay of their hunting, their freedom, their unity.
Felt again the feeling of being … feral … beyond the bounds of humanity.
She watched his clawlike digits as they held the frame of the door.
She looked up dwarfed by his immense body.

Were they equals now?

Their eyes met and held.
She felt herself drawn into his gaze.
His voice was tender as he questioned.

"Have you forgotten what it was like to be truly alive?"

Mutely she nodded, tears springing to her eyes.

”Yess… I have forgotten… I am human now … for years you have known what you are … what you were … I … I only just glimpse what I have been … but .. how could I be so again?”

She questioned helplessly.
Even as the question was asked, Bridget wondered if indeed she wanted to relinquish her human form to become … she knew not what.
Bridget had no idea what she should do to recapture her peace of mind, to fulfil her destiny.

Her tearfilled eyes never left her mates.

"Tell me ... tell me what I should do ... "

She entreated.

 

[Indigo Spirit]

"Learn to LIVE again"

No other words were needed, the beast leaned forward and let his physical being rub against hers...the energy that was within the beast grew at her touch...warmed....glowed and reached for the primeival passion buried within her. And for a fraction of a second...felt it respond, like an animal awakening after long hibernation....slowly it lifted itself, and fell.

"You fear what you no longer understand, my mate"

The words as were the eyes that looked at hers were human, and as she shrank back from the beasts touch he slipped by, moving with the grace born of a wild thing...and headed for freedom. The rubble was no match for the strength of a caged animal and parted as his hands swatted it aside...the noise growing to a roar as he tossed it from his chosen path only to pause and look back.

"That is why you fear me so"

And then the beast was gone, moving into the tunnel he had torn from rough concrete and iron bar, the feat done as if to show the woman he could have broken thru the steel bars at any time...

It wasn't over for the beast or the woman...it had just begun.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bridget Taylor

"Learn to LIVE again"

His words were accusation, command and plea all in one.

He moved towards her, rubbed against her.
Brid looked up at him, felt their energies connect, felt a surge of …

"You fear what you no longer understand, my mate"

As his eyes held hers, she knew he was right.
She did not understand and she feared their connection.
She feared that bestial part in her that he could arouse, the memories that rose unbidden to her mind.
And once again, Brid shrank away from the contact.
Rejecting the identity he offered her.

Even as she eased away from him, she realised belatedly that she had given him his freedom once more.
She watched as he destroyed everything in his path.
His strength more than a match for the prison now that she had released him from the cage.

Their eyes met once more as he glanced back at her.

"That is why you fear me so."

The cage she realised had never been an effective prison.
And as she stood and watched the trail of destruction that the beast left in his wake, it was the woman who stood in the cage, the woman who was more trapped than the creature she had released.

Without thinking, Bridget stepped into the centre of the cage.
She looked at the steel bars.
She walked to them and ran her hand along them.
Pausing she grasped one of the thick shafts and placed her head on the cool metal.

Who… what was she?
How could this nightmare ever end?
She longed for safety, peace from her turmoil.
She felt totally drained... bereft ...

Sinking to the floor, she rubbed at her eyes unable to stem the flow of helpless tears.
She sighed in impatience at her own weakness.
Bridget Taylor never cried!

But who … who now was Bridget Taylor?

 

[Indigo Spirit]

We ran from the pain, the wound deep and cut clear to our heart, letting the blood flow as we moved together away from the source of such pain.

Moved together. For the first time we had something in common that we could share, even if unwillingly. The common pain over the loss of someone we both desired, both needed...both loved?

Moved together as fast as the Beast's muscled body would carry us and he responded to my guidance.

"NO! Away from the lights of 128th Street and towards the River" I warned unthinking and he turned, his mind filled with terror and not arguing...my mind filled with sudden amazement.

I tried again as a car fast approached in a course threatening to cross ours...

"Into the heaviest brush and towards the great drains, we will be safe there"

And thru his terror he responded again, clearing the brush in a massive leap as the cars brakes and tires complained loudly, his mind repeating the word he needed to hear.

"Yessss, Saaaaafe"

And suddenly we were inside the massive culvert used to drain the storm waters to the river and darkness surrounded us as he crouched...and inside us the pain dimmed...and something else began to form.

An understanding. The idea that despite the unbreakable link we were fused together with...we were two separate identities...and yet? We both had traits in common that allowed us to understand.

Night was wrapped around us, it's chill ignored as we focused on the sound of the sluggish water moving past...and talked...communicated without the use of words...thoughts crossing from one beings ego to the other, pictures flashing back and forth as we remembered our old lives...before...Before we were joined as a result of the "Great Battle". And the events that led up to it.

The Beast became a being in my mind at that point. Not human, but a being that lived, breathed, had needs...and cared for the ones around him. A leader of a "Clan" that guided others like him and was looked up to...respected for his strength and his gentleness, his wisdom and his...playfulness’.

And as his memories flashed clearly in my mind an order came of it, not a jumbled, distorted version as in the past...but a clearer time line of how it was then, and now to "Him". And in return I allowed "him" to see my own, the feelings I had guarded so carefully before...the emotions and memories I clung selfishly to...in order to remain..."me"

And as the morning sun came and reflected of the water I felt him nod...his great head raise and lower in assent...in approval of what "We" had become...and the acceptance of who "I" was...

And with that approval I felt his body began to change. Slowly reverting to the human form, the bone structure melting...molding into itself to allow my own human likeness reappear...and the difference struck me again.

"No Pain?" I heard my own vocal chords speak the question, the change had been complete and unlike ALL other times...without pain.

And I understood again, how the Beast had allowed myself to rise from within...to emerge from him without resistance on his part...and without the resistance...there came no pain.

I moved then, out of the culvert and into the morning twilight, towards a shelter that would give clothing without question, and with the intent to return to the warehouse and recover what I could...We would need another place...large enough to give the Beast his feeling of freedom. and modern enough to allow me to return to humanity...a place for both of us.