affairs does someone always get hurt in the end.
- Thread starter ecstacey
- Start date
I've had an affair.. I wasn't the cheater, and he and his wife were separated, but still living in the same house...
and he and I are still fantastic friends.. to the point that, when I get married, he gets an invitation. Neither of us got hurt when we parted ways.. we just realized it was the right way for us to each go..
*smile*
and he and I are still fantastic friends.. to the point that, when I get married, he gets an invitation. Neither of us got hurt when we parted ways.. we just realized it was the right way for us to each go..
*smile*
strgzr1230
Experienced
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Depends on the intensity of the feelings I think. And if the two parties share the same feelings. If it is all just "fun"and discreet, I believe it is possible for hurt to not be an issue. But boy oh boy, If one feels more than the other....Trouble. imho.
Latinababe
*¤Ðësï®åblë ßåbë¤*
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I been with my man for five years and when I went to see him, he was cheating on me for five months and yes I was hurt and we are now trying to work things out together.
ReadyOne
Ready to Rock!
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In the several affairs I've been involved in (almost always as the 3rd party) only one has caused any significant problems (e.g. tears, heartbreak, loss of faith, etc.)
The one time was when the truth was deliberately hidden.
It came out in the end and things weren't handled well at all. In retrospect, there was a way out of that situation which would have caused a minimum of suffering had I been bright enough to do it.
OTOH, one might define an affair as requiring that the truth be hidden, in which case I've only been involved in a small few of them.
My conclusion: It can be done more often that you would expect, but it doesn't always work.
The one time was when the truth was deliberately hidden.
It came out in the end and things weren't handled well at all. In retrospect, there was a way out of that situation which would have caused a minimum of suffering had I been bright enough to do it.
OTOH, one might define an affair as requiring that the truth be hidden, in which case I've only been involved in a small few of them.
My conclusion: It can be done more often that you would expect, but it doesn't always work.
lorddragonwolf
proverted
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does someone get hurt when you cheat. how about the person you are cheating ? husband /wife? makes me wonder........and now i will leave.
warrior queen
early bird snack pack
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can i just point out something?
if a person embarks on an affair, then there is usually something going wrong in the relationship that contributes to their feelings being hurt enough for them to contemplate going outside the marriage/relationship in the first place.
so to ask 'does someone always get hurt in the end', is the wrong question IMO.....
what you should be asking, is 'why was one half of the couple feeing hurt or neglected enough to consider looking for solace outside the relationship?'
and remember, what upsets one person, may not necessarily seem important to everyone - but could be an unbearably isolating/painful factor for them.
i've seen women go and have affairs because their hubby didn't appreciate the work they were doing to keep the household going, and i've seen others go out and have affairs as 'payback' for an affair the partner had......
each felt validated in their choice for different reasons - but validated nonetheless.
if a person embarks on an affair, then there is usually something going wrong in the relationship that contributes to their feelings being hurt enough for them to contemplate going outside the marriage/relationship in the first place.
so to ask 'does someone always get hurt in the end', is the wrong question IMO.....
what you should be asking, is 'why was one half of the couple feeing hurt or neglected enough to consider looking for solace outside the relationship?'
and remember, what upsets one person, may not necessarily seem important to everyone - but could be an unbearably isolating/painful factor for them.
i've seen women go and have affairs because their hubby didn't appreciate the work they were doing to keep the household going, and i've seen others go out and have affairs as 'payback' for an affair the partner had......
each felt validated in their choice for different reasons - but validated nonetheless.
