age difference

[Bidin~Time]

My dad and stepmother just celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary. He's 13 yrs older and they get along great.
Age shouldn't matter.
Sadly, my stepmom suffers from M.S., so Dad has to help her with some things when the symptoms flair up. So it's not always the younger person who has to think about health issues in a May/Dec (or May/Sept) relationship.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Five years is a significant age difference!? LOL

I guess I've rarely been with anybody with an insignificant age difference then.

Longest was a five-year relationship with a woman 14 years younger than me.

 

[Private Vasquez]

I'm an old doll...I've been around, you know. And I just don't think that vintage matters. If it knows how to work...use it.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Plastic lasts a long, long time, from what I hear.

 

[Private Vasquez]

Especially this particular brand of plastic.

 

[SGTBIGDOG420]

my first wife was 6 years younger then me and we only lasted 2 years, my present wife is 5 years older then me and we have been together 7 years, my mom and dad were 18 years apart and married for 32 years when we lost dad so it can work it just depends on the people involved.

 

[lobito]

Yep, take it from me, it works. Though I don't consider 5 years age difference all that much. (my case)

 

[BamaBelle]

I turned 11 ...

the month after hubby was born. We met in April, 1998 and just last week celebrated 3 yrs of wedded bliss. It DOES get better every day...NO MATTER the age difference. The age thingy doesnt bother us, but you should see the reactions when people learn he isnt MY SON!! LOL...
IF IT WORKS, IT WORKS.

 

[sxychick21]

A relationship of 2 and 1/2 years with an age difference of 27 years. The issue became one of different stages in our lives. One is looking at retirement, one at finishing school and beginning a career. Love is still there. But the lack of commonalities ended the relationship.

I was in the same situation. I'm 24 he was 56! We made it work for 8 months and then it just got to be too much. Like you said...different stages in life. Kind of sad but i learned my lesson that age DOES matter sometimes.

Now my dating limit is thirty years old

 

[nasty1]

I'm in a relationship with someone 4 years older. But, I don't really call that extravagent.

 

[Zamdrist]

A relationship of 2 and 1/2 years with an age difference of 27 years. The issue became one of different stages in our lives. One is looking at retirement, one at finishing school and beginning a career. Love is still there. But the lack of commonalities ended the relationship.

I was going to make a similar point. People often confuse physical/sexual compatiability with life goals and stages.

Just because you are sexual attracted to and compatiable with an older/younger partner doesn't mean it's going to work. I don't think it's obvious as it sounds written here in my post.

I spent 5 good years of my life with a woman who was several years older than I. We were compatiable in many ways, but not in all, and those incompatiabilities rose to the surface.

I don't regret it at all, and I'm a happier, more mature man for the experience. Would I do it again? Possibly, all depends on the woman. I think I would avoid a big gap in age in the future.

 

[Persephone36]

I was going to make a similar point. People often confuse physical/sexual compatiability with life goals and stages.

Just because you are sexual attracted to and compatiable with an older/younger partner doesn't mean it's going to work. I don't think it's obvious as it sounds written here in my post.

I think you've got an excellent point there, Zamdrist.

Although I haven't had big age differences in the people I've dated -- my best friend is a guy and he's almost 10 years younger than me -- I'm 37 -- he's 28. We email and chat almost every day. I love sharing our lives with each other -- and the age difference really rarely comes up -- other than that we respect the different life experiences that we *both* have had. But we really do share everything -- we do that day-in, day-out stuff. Sharing our thoughts and feelings as well as the dull stuff in life. We're a support system for each other that we never have to question, even when we argue.

However I could never see us being in a relationship on a day to day basis and have it work out. LOL, although he is an incredibly hot guy. But, it's just a difference of sharing lives 24/7 versus being friends. What I can excuse and put up with and accept as a friend in him -- I couldn't as a partner. And btw, he would agree wholeheartedly that he couldn't put up with me 24/7 either, lol.

And somewhere amidst that whole story I just blurted out was a point, lol.

It's just that if we were a couple -- age would definitely play a factor -- but it wouldn't be a significant one. And the reason why is because we connect and communicate as individuals. And we love and accept each other for who we are -- without conditions.

What *would* play a significant factor is how we see our lives unfolding and what we want from life. That's where we don't gel exactly.

But I think it's the genuine connection and communication -- past sexual attraction -- that is the basis for any long term, serious, committed (or pick the word of your choice) relationship.

And there's my -- uh, .25 cents worth.

P.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

age difference: at least five years.
length of time: 6 months or beyond.

just curious to see if it can work at all.

My parents are 8 years apart, and they've been married for 25 years. My bf's parents are 11 years apart, and they've been married 27 years. IT can work.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

when I was 19 (ie- last summer) I dated a guy who was 32.. not for 6 months, but it could have lasted that way, if not for certain other circumstances. Also when I was 19 (after the other relationship ended), I had some experiences with a 47 year old man. This man is someone that I would have gladly tossed everything to the wind for (seriously, after careful consideration, only two things stop me now, one being my current SO who I love). Circumstances kept us from developing a serious relationship (stuff to do with his kids, etc), but he and I are still friends, and we talk about the feelings that are there. We recognize that something special could have happened, but trust that fate dealt the proper hands. Sometimes, however, I still wish we could have tried...

 

[Up Too Late]

Anything is possible

it can last as long as you have enough common ground to stand on...(speaking from experience), I've always dated older women, maybe I should try someone younger or at least my age. I'm sure though that will happen, hey its gonna be a hot summer, surfs up and the beaches are CROWDED down here!

 

[Calamity Jane]

When I was 19, I dated a 28 year old for several months. It never would have worked, because I was -by far- the more mature person in that relationship.

I'm almost 29 now, and find myself mostly attracted to men significantly older than me (10 years or more). I agree with the others who have said it has to do with life experiences and goals more than anything else. I know very few people my age that are going through/experiencing the same things I am.

 

[callableborg]

From callableborg

Was married 18 yr. to a woman 10 yr. younger.

Agree with nakedangelina. Bigest threat is if the two partners are in very different life situations and cannot sustain identification with each other.

Also think there is a type of woman {possibilty early maturing} who really like older men. My wife left me for a guy even older.

 

[Muad'dib]

I, not long ago had a reltionship with a woman 17 years older then myself. It could have been a long reltionship, but the age b othered her, which wa sand still is understandable.

 

[calypso_21]

age is nothing but a number...

When I was 17 I dated a guy who was 23, he thought he was too old for me, but loved the idea that he could teach me a few things...little did he know that I was also dating a 28 year old who was teaching me far more than THAT 23 year old could!

When I was 19 I dated a guy who was 42 and a lawyer with his life all laid out before him, this was tough...as I had no clue what I wanted to do except that I didn't want to settle down...

As far as age difference goes...you go with what feels good and right...if it bothers you, then it will continue to do so. If it doesn't then enjoy the ride!!


Caly

 

[427cobra]

maud`dib are you the kwizatz hadarach? lol

 

[Zamdrist]

maud`dib are you the kwizatz hadarach? lol

Spincter says wah?

 

[427cobra]

it would take a long time to explain. go and read frank herbert's dune for the answer. thanks all for posting your answers, it goes to show that anything is possible.

 

[Muad'dib]

maud`dib are you the kwizatz hadarach? lol

I am the Whirlwind! I am the Kwisatz Haderach! I a m the Mah'di!


I'm just a big fan oif Frank Herbert's books, Dune.

 

[Muad'dib]

Spincter says wah?

To make it easy to understand, the Kwisatz Haderach is like a god. The best way to understand is to read Frank Heebert's Dune.

There is a group of women, called the Bene Gesserit have breding programs, and one of those breding programs is to produce the Kwisatz Haderach; a god.

 

[427cobra]

at least you remember how to spell it. lol. i always like dune, dune messiah, and children of dune. the others are pretty forgettable and poorly written. i do like, however, the new prequel trilogy written by brian herbert and kevin anderson.