Aging With Pride – Perimenopause Edition

[dreamysub]

I want to talk a little about how hard it can be sometimes living with what seems to be the transition into Perimenopause.

My cycle has become very unpredictable. I never know exactly when my period will come. Sometimes I have it twice a month, sometimes I don’t have it for 5–6 weeks. The bleeding can last 8–10 days instead of the usual length, and I often start feeling physical pain already about a week before menstruation.

What is much harder for me is the emotional side. I feel very unstable during these days. I used to be able to cry only when I was alone in the evening. Now I sometimes cry at work or even in front of my children, and it feels strange because nothing really “happened” — it’s just hormones.

I feel overwhelmed, anxious, sometimes a bit paranoid. There are days when almost everything irritates me, and I have to be very careful about what I listen to, because both sad and happy music can make me cry.

What is very important for me is that Daddy understands me even during these difficult days. I feel his support and acceptance. He is the only person whose presence doesn’t bother me when I am like this. Being with him feels safe.

I don’t have to be strong all the time with him. I can be fragile. Sometimes I need silence and calm. Sometimes a lot of tenderness and love. Sometimes even pain in a consensual way. Sometimes I need to go out into nature and just breathe.

Whatever I need, I know he is there for me — when I laugh and when I cry on his shoulder. He stays with me until I calm down. You have no idea how much that means to me.

I try very hard not to burden others with my emotions and to avoid conflicts. Not for my own sake, but because I don’t want to hurt people around me. But it is exhausting to constantly hold everything inside.

I think the hardest part is the fear that I might become bitter or emotionally tired, because I always hoped I wouldn’t become that person. It feels like a bad joke sometimes. I am prone to depression, been for years now. I don't need to be even more anxious and overracting. I am fucked up enough as it is, lol.

What about you? How do you cope with this transition? I definitely struggle a lot some days.

 

[dreamysub]

There is something I was always secretly afraid of — that as I age, I might become a bitter, frigid woman who slowly disconnects from her own desire.

The irony is… that is not my problem at all.

My body may be unpredictable. My emotions may feel overwhelming at times. But my desire is still very much alive. I still crave intimacy. I still enjoy sex deeply.

Honestly, since I met Daddy, I have been living through the most sexually active and fulfilling period of my life. This whole DD/lg dynamic fits me in a way I never expected. It feels natural. Grounding. Deeply right.

I wouldn’t give it up now, because something deep inside me feels profoundly satisfied. There is a part of me that feels seen, held, and aligned in a way I had been missing for years.

So yes — my hormones are chaotic. My emotions can be messy. My body is changing.

But I am not losing my sexuality. If anything, I am inhabiting it more fully than ever. Somedays I’m a walking bundle of nerves, I am insecure, I overreact, but when someone knows how to handle me — and Daddy knows exactly how to handle me — I dare to say I'm worth it.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm 42. My period has been screwy for years at this point. I'd honestly just like to get to actual menopause and get it over with. I don't have kids, and I don't want any, so there's no point in any of this crap, lol.

One of the biggest things that's happened to me during perimenopause is that my autistic traits have come to the forefront. I don't have the energy to mask anymore, and I'm currently sitting in autistic burnout. It sucks, but I gotta keep on going for now. Maybe at some point, I won't have to.

My actual emotions...well, it's hard to tell. Hormonal stuff makes bipolar worse, so there's that. I'm on and off my meds so much because of financial instability, it's hard to tell what I should blame the mood swings on, lol.

My body is sort of betraying me, too. I'm falling apart, for one. Sexually speaking, I have some problems there, too. Lack of lubrication is the main one. My Daddy seems to take it as a personal affront that I'm not dripping wet for him (or he did--we haven't seen each other in over a fucking year, but that's a story for another thread). But I'm like, "Dude...I'm old. It happens. I'm sorry."

I don't have much of a desire for sexual or romantic attention, either. I don't know if it's due to perimenopause, autism, or a lifetime of being used by others because I have (or had, I guess) a high sex drive.

I'm old and tired, honestly. I just want to be left alone, lol.

I am so glad your Daddy makes you happy, dreamysub. You deserve it!

 

[Tallcajun]

I’ve corresponded with several, I’ll say, older women and all I’ve heard is an increase in desire and general libido.

 

[dreamysub]

I’ve corresponded with several, I’ll say, older women and all I’ve heard is an increase in desire and general libido.

It depends on the person, I guess. I don’t have any issues with my libido, but then again, I never did. I’ve always been the type of person who, if you said “Let’s fuck,” would immediately reply, “Hell yes!” I think that will never change. *chuckles*

There are definitely some changes, though — changes I don’t like. I used to get dripping wet for Daddy, and I know how much he loved it. I’m afraid those days might be gone now. No matter how excited I am or how badly I need it, I rarely get wet anymore, and it makes me feel ashamed. Oh well, there’s not much I can do about getting older.

The last time it happened, I apologized to him because it made me feel stupid — being so needy, yet my body not showing it anymore. Daddy told me, “Don’t worry about it. We know how to deal with it.” I’m so glad he doesn’t see me as any less feminine because of it and still chooses me anyway.

 

[dreamysub]

I'm 42. My period has been screwy for years at this point. I'd honestly just like to get to actual menopause and get it over with. I don't have kids, and I don't want any, so there's no point in any of this crap, lol.

I am 48 and this crap started like half year ago. Bad mood swings, my period being super strong and painful, unpredictable on when its coming and for how long it gonna stay. Wish it would just stop already, that would be nice!

One of the biggest things that's happened to me during perimenopause is that my autistic traits have come to the forefront. I don't have the energy to mask anymore, and I'm currently sitting in autistic burnout. It sucks, but I gotta keep on going for now. Maybe at some point, I won't have to.

I feel you on this one. *Hugs*

I don't have the energy to mask how I feel anymore either. I still try, BUT I often fail and start crying even on places or infront of the people I never would before. When its around my period and I feel I am walking bundle of emotions I warn everyone around me if they see me crying its not their fault, I just can't stop it.

Last time I was at Daddy’s place and I got sooo depressed there. Nothing bad happened except for me thinking too much. I knew I had to leave. NOW. He was sleeping. I dressed up and was gonna just kiss him and leave swiftly. He woke up and asked me if I gotta go already. I said yes and kissed him. He huged me tight and I bursted in tears. I really tried not too as I knowhe's sad when I am sad, but I couldn't help it. I cried and cried and cried as if someone died.

No idea where all the hurt came from, but I felt so fucking low. Hated Daddy saw me like that. Hate when anybody sees me like that. I left his place with red eyes sore from crying wishing I could bloody dissappear and come back when I am back to my cheerful self. Think these mood swings I am having is what I hate the most about this perimenopause crap. I can go from very happy to really really low in seconds. It sucks!

My actual emotions...well, it's hard to tell. Hormonal stuff makes bipolar worse, so there's that. I'm on and off my meds so much because of financial instability, it's hard to tell what I should blame the mood swings on, lol.

Hormons are bitch! Me and my tendencies toward depression and anxiety probably aren't helping either. When I feel I am gonna explode if I don't leave - I simply leave. Anywhere really. I have to go and process how I feel. Find something that grounds me. Daddy usually does, or going to the nature for a walk. Anything where I can be left the fuck alone. It's kinda impossible at my home, lol.

My body is sort of betraying me, too. I'm falling apart, for one. Sexually speaking, I have some problems there, too. Lack of lubrication is the main one. My Daddy seems to take it as a personal affront that I'm not dripping wet for him (or he did--we haven't seen each other in over a fucking year, but that's a story for another thread). But I'm like, "Dude...I'm old. It happens. I'm sorry."

I can relate, Bunny. I think I never had so many meds on me as I do now. For diferent kind of pains. My hipps, my knees, my back, my shoulders, when on period my lower belly that feels as if I get stabbed by rusty knife. It's annoying. My hand bag looks like walking Pharmacy, lol.

I am sorry your Daddy takes it as personal affront. He doesn't know it happens as we get older? Men! *sigh and Hugs*

I don't have much of a desire for sexual or romantic attention, either. I don't know if it's due to perimenopause, autism, or a lifetime of being used by others because I have (or had, I guess) a high sex drive.

I know the feeling. I still have this longing for happy loving relationship. Deep bond and real closeness. Sometimes I wonder if something like that even exists. Me and Daddy, we are okay, but I often feel we live in our little bubble of happiness. Bubble that can burst anytime though, for so many reasons. I don't know if I am just afraid of getting hurt again or trusting someone THAT much. I try not to think about it as it gives me sore head.

I'm old and tired, honestly. I just want to be left alone, lol.

I am so glad your Daddy makes you happy, dreamysub. You deserve it!

Thank you, Bunny!

I do hope I deserve some gentleness and love in my life. God knows I need it.

Are you also having nightmares during period or its just me? I am having so disturbing dreams when I am on period! No wonder I am this mess during the day when my mind can create dreams like that when I am sleeping, lol.

As for wanting to be left alone, I often feel that too. *HUGGS*