An actual writing thread... Dated metaphores and similes.

[Britva415]

It made me think that a lot of people today probably have never worn a watch and certainly never one that needed to be wound.

or whether cheapness has anything to do with tightness, or even the opposite correlation than the one presumed here.

That to me is the real problem with that simile: the seemingly completely-made-up association.

Sounds like something someone wrote because they liked how it sounded, regardless of whether it's accurate or meaningful.

And it winds up sounding dated because it was probably written by someone who never wound a watch, cheap or otherwise, theirself. It was anachronistic to them before they ever even employed it in a simile.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Really anything around ticking clocks. If my clock is ticking, something's really wrong with my phone.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Really anything around ticking clocks. If my clock is ticking, something's really wrong with my phone.

I have a clock about two meters to my left now. It ticks. It doesn't have a mechanical action, but the seconds hand is gear driven and moves in 1 second intervals with an audible click.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I have a clock about two meters to my left now. It ticks. It doesn't have a mechanical action, but the seconds hand is gear driven and moves in 1 second intervals with an audible click.

I'm so glad they're vanishingly rare. The clicking was always so annoying and hit my ear just wrong. Older clocks I was fine with, but "newer" ones are just a bit too harsh and lacked the charisma to let me tolerate them.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I have a clock about two meters to my left now. It ticks. It doesn't have a mechanical action, but the seconds hand is gear driven and moves in 1 second intervals with an audible click.

I have a Samuel Holbin grandfather clock in the hall, made around 1770. It's an eight day clock, chimes on the hour (one through twelve) and is dead accurate. It's got the gentlest tick tock, soothing and hypnotic, like a little living thing.

My parents bought it in a junk shop in the UK, just after the war. Cost them £5/0/0 because it wasn't working. They got it repaired twenty years later when they came to Australia - but it was always ten minutes fast. I inherited it, got new bearings installed, and the horologist set the time. It's now spot on, time-wise.

 

[BellaBestia]

I saw this in a piece and immediately thought myself old for knowing what he meant :
“She had more issues than TV Guide”

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Back when the movie came out, someone used the quote for how Calista Flockheart would describe herself.

And yes, that memory has been stuck in my brain for 24 years. Who else even remembers who Calista Flockheart is?

Mrs Harrison Ford?

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Lots of really outdated ones still floating around...

"Couldn't hold a candle to" is one of my favorites.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

“I feel thin, sort of stretched; like too much butter scraped over too little bread.”

(I hope I don’t have to cite where this is from).

Fixed it for you...

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I used this once: Wine glasses thin as my senator’s ethical standards.

Oh, wait. You wanted dated similes. Oops.

Yeah, afraid that one is probably timeless...

 

[Kumquatqueen]

The show QI researched and found the phrase 'like coals to Newcastle' has pretty much died out with people under thirty (forty, by now).

I remember the grey static of a TV when you pressed an untuned button, which always terrified me as a kid with the rush of sound. With a dial TV it was easier to cope with, adjusting for as little static as possible. I don't recognise the blue screens of TV mentioned upthread - though the Blue Screen of Death is another reference that's died out.

Metaphors with church have pretty much died out here - like a vicar to the sherry doesn't work if you don't know what a vicar is, let alone the stereotypes around them.

 

[anthrodisiac]

To put the cart before the horse.
Off the map
Screeches more than a dial-up (probably not an actual one, but we tossed it around in high school; freaking DSL, man)
Upset the apple cart

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

To put the cart before the horse.
Off the map
Screeches more than a dial-up (probably not an actual one, but we tossed it around in high school; freaking DSL, man)
Upset the apple cart

Here, thar be Dragons...

 

[anthrodisiac]

Here, thar be Dragons...

Where??? Point me to the sexy dragons!!

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

The oldest that comes to my mind: Owls to Athens.

 

[anthrodisiac]

The oldest might probably be: Owls to Athens.

Is that the same author who did Pickles to Pittsberg?

Seriously, though, Gilgamesh has to have some similes. The whole thing is a metaphor (probably) for the quest for immortality or something.

Quick google search. (Granted, they're pretty straightforward, but it's a freaking 4700-year-old text, using them at all was probably revolutionary.)
Similes in The Epic of Gilgamesh frequently emphasize physical strength, wildness, and the swiftness of death, often comparing characters to animals or natural phenomena to highlight their divine or beast-like nature. Key examples include Enkidu's hair being described "like a woman's" and matted "like the god of cattle," and Enkidu likening his fear of death to that of a "man drained of blood".

Key Similes in The Epic of Gilgamesh

• Enkidu's Appearance: Described with "long hair like a woman's," "it waved like the hair of Nisaba, the goddess of corn," and his body covered "with matted hair like Samuqan's, the god of cattle".
• Gilgamesh's Power: The gods compare Gilgamesh to a "savage bull".
• Death and Terror: Enkidu compares his fear of dying to "a man drained of blood who wanders alone in a waste of rushes," and likens his fear to someone "injured and alone".
• The Underworld: In a vision, the underworld is described where people are "clothed like birds with wings for covering".
• Grief/Warfare: Enkidu describes his lost companionship by saying "Enkidu was an axe at my side," and in his sorrow, his grief is described in terms of a lion losing its cubs.
• Submission/Awe: In some interpretations, the people are described as "kissing his feet like a little baby's" or acting like "infantile urchins" in response to a great event.

I can't imagine "like the god of cattle" is too common today. But it SHOULD be, damn it! Plot bunny!

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

I think the idea was not old metaphors or simile but outdated. Like winding up a clock. So an "axe by my side" matches that criterium. So we have found the oldest (most likely)

 

[MrPixel]

"Hang up", to end a phone call.
"Dial" a phone number.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Where??? Point me to the sexy dragons!!

Ok, with a little help from a few(a lot, really)filters, this is actually me at 18, as a female anthro-dragon. Good enough?

I may have to swerve into the nonhuman lane and write a story about her. I wonder what kind of trouble she could get into???

 

[anthrodisiac]

I think the idea was not old metaphors or simile but outdated. Like winding up a clock. So an "axe by my side" matches that criterium. So we have found the oldest (most likely)

I know, it's just you mentioned the oldest in your previous post and it got me curious about what the oldest is, and as far as I'm aware, Gilgamesh is the oldest written story where you might find similes and metaphors. The Bible has a lot, too, but I think Gilgamesh predates even that.

I think most outdated, though, might go to "it waved like the hair of Nisaba, the goddess of corn," since it's been a hot minute since I saw a Nisaba worshiper

 

[anthrodisiac]

Ok, with a little help from a few(a lot, really)filters, this is actually me at 18, as a female anthro-dragon. Good enough?

I may have to swerve into teh nonhuman lane and write a story about her. I wonder what kind of trouble she could get into???

All the trouble

 

[anthrodisiac]

Ok, with a little help from a few(a lot, really)filters, this is actually me at 18, as a female anthro-dragon. Good enough?

I may have to swerve into the nonhuman lane and write a story about her. I wonder what kind of trouble she could get into???

Also, you were gorgeous at 18! I was such an awkward thing at 18...

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Also, you were gorgeous at 18! I was such an awkward thing at 18...

View attachment 2602656

Woulda, coulda, yada, yada, yada... I was kind of studly in a geeky skinny guy sort of way. One of those filters was MTF. I am trans, you know?

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

Woulda, coulda, yada, yada, yada... I was kind of studly in a geeky skinny guy sort of way. One of those filters was MTF. I am trans, you know?

You are what you are and good whichever way. Just that your 18yo image definitely triggers a lot of 18yo male fantasies.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

when does a metaphor or simile become too dated to use

Never. Hardly any of our readers have plowed a field or spun a thread or rubbed sticks together to start a fire or pounded hot iron into a useful shape or broken a horse or felt our sails catch the wind and so on, but I advocate using all kinds of things like this.

We all know that once upon a time life felt real.