Anal Help/Advice

[DVS]

I wish my girlfriend let me fuck her anus, but she doesn't allow me. She complaints its very painful. How to make her change her mind?

Going very slow. First, you have to gain her trust...trust that you're not going to hurt her. SHE MUST RELAX. If she's tense, her butt hole will not relax and it will hurt. SHE MuST RELAX. That's where trust is needed.

Next, you have to begin with something else, besides your cock. It must be something that she can handle and something that is slightly larger than she thinks she can handle. Get a group of butt plugs that are various sizes. And get tons of lube. Water soluble is probably best, because some lubes are petroleum based, and they will damage material some insertables are made of. Also, water based is easy to clean up.

But, make sure the lube doesn't dry out. Water based lube can do that. Just make sure you have enough to do most of the work at inserting each item. Not enough lube and it will hurt and she won't trust you any more. I can't express this any more...lube is YOUR friend in getting her to accept this. It's her friend, too, to help with the pain, but of course, you're the one trying to get into her ass, so it's your friend.

Let her get use to one size before going to the next. Don't rush her. That will damage her trust in you. If she prefers to insert them, let her, or if she prefers you do it, whatever she wants, she gets. You can persuade her with mental talking, tell her how nice her ass looks, how sexy she looks bent over in such a submissive position, etc.

If she's game to this, but just doesn't like the pain, maybe you can interest her in being submissive to this with the right conversation. Of course, the pain needs to be a lot less, for this conversation to work, so, don't rush it. And that part is up to you. I can't say what the trigger words would be between the both of you.

Ultimately, you are trying to move up to getting your cock inside of her, but rushing any of this is going to be bad for you. Rushing will only cause her to tense up and when she tenses up, the pain will get worse. I can't stress that enough.

If...and I do mean if, because it's not a guarantee that she will ever accept this, because you might not go as slow as she wants or she won't be able to relax enough...if you get to the point of your cock going into her ass, continue the slow action. The entrance is going to be the most difficult part, and once you get past that, slowly push into her, until your cock is all of the way in. SLOWLY!

Then, let her get used to your size. Let her tell you when you can continue. She might tell you she can't continue. If that's the case, at least you've made headway. Try again, another time. You'll have to begin with the same process. You can't cut anything out, until she is willing to. That means, each time you try this, you start from the beginning, with a small butt plug or dildo and work your way up.

Before you start anything, if she's unsure about how anything is going to work, or how much you are going to enjoy it or even how much she might enjoy it, look at some videos involving anal sex. There are some where the woman enjoys the act. Personally, I like watching the ones where the woman is almost forced, but these are NOT what you want to watch together...at least not at first. Save those for if and when she is ever willing to let you enter her without all of the steps.

No drugs and no alcohol! You both need to be totally sober so nothing goes wrong. The anal shaft is very sensitive. Nothing sharp or pointed should go up there. And even smooth items can harm the anal walls, if there is no lube. The vagina has its own lube. The asshole does not. That's why you have to make sure you have a lot of lube.

So, the whole thing is she must be relaxed. She must be willing and you must go slow. Start with something small, but a little larger than she really wants. This is to help her get accustomed to something going into her ass. Build your way up, when she feels OK about going to the next size. Eventually, your cock will be the next size...if everything to that point works.

If she doesn't want this to happen, you can't force her. Forcing her is going to damage your relationship and her trust in you. If not now, there might be some point in time where she will be willing to try this, but you can't force her. Remember...she's ultimately in charge of this, not you. You slow down when she says and you stop, if she says.

Good luck with your attempts. I think both of you will ultimately enjoy this, but only if I'm understanding you that she is willing, except for the pain. If she isn't into anal sex, you have another hurdle to jump. And that one might never be one you can get past.

 

[AnnieLit]

Going very slow. First, you have to gain her trust...trust that you're not going to hurt her. SHE MUST RELAX. If she's tense, her butt hole will not relax and it will hurt. SHE MuST RELAX. That's where trust is needed.

Next, you have to begin with something else, besides your cock. It must be something that she can handle and something that is slightly larger than she thinks she can handle. Get a group of butt plugs that are various sizes. And get tons of lube. Water soluble is probably best, because some lubes are petroleum based, and they will damage material some insertables are made of. Also, water based is easy to clean up.

But, make sure the lube doesn't dry out. Water based lube can do that. Just make sure you have enough to do most of the work at inserting each item. Not enough lube and it will hurt and she won't trust you any more. I can't express this any more...lube is YOUR friend in getting her to accept this. It's her friend, too, to help with the pain, but of course, you're the one trying to get into her ass, so it's your friend.

Let her get use to one size before going to the next. Don't rush her. That will damage her trust in you. If she prefers to insert them, let her, or if she prefers you do it, whatever she wants, she gets. You can persuade her with mental talking, tell her how nice her ass looks, how sexy she looks bent over in such a submissive position, etc.

If she's game to this, but just doesn't like the pain, maybe you can interest her in being submissive to this with the right conversation. Of course, the pain needs to be a lot less, for this conversation to work, so, don't rush it. And that part is up to you. I can't say what the trigger words would be between the both of you.

Ultimately, you are trying to move up to getting your cock inside of her, but rushing any of this is going to be bad for you. Rushing will only cause her to tense up and when she tenses up, the pain will get worse. I can't stress that enough.

If...and I do mean if, because it's not a guarantee that she will ever accept this, because you might not go as slow as she wants or she won't be able to relax enough...if you get to the point of your cock going into her ass, continue the slow action. The entrance is going to be the most difficult part, and once you get past that, slowly push into her, until your cock is all of the way in. SLOWLY!

Then, let her get used to your size. Let her tell you when you can continue. She might tell you she can't continue. If that's the case, at least you've made headway. Try again, another time. You'll have to begin with the same process. You can't cut anything out, until she is willing to. That means, each time you try this, you start from the beginning, with a small butt plug or dildo and work your way up.

Before you start anything, if she's unsure about how anything is going to work, or how much you are going to enjoy it or even how much she might enjoy it, look at some videos involving anal sex. There are some where the woman enjoys the act. Personally, I like watching the ones where the woman is almost forced, but these are NOT what you want to watch together...at least not at first. Save those for if and when she is ever willing to let you enter her without all of the steps.

No drugs and no alcohol! You both need to be totally sober so nothing goes wrong. The anal shaft is very sensitive. Nothing sharp or pointed should go up there. And even smooth items can harm the anal walls, if there is no lube. The vagina has its own lube. The asshole does not. That's why you have to make sure you have a lot of lube.

So, the whole thing is she must be relaxed. She must be willing and you must go slow. Start with something small, but a little larger than she really wants. This is to help her get accustomed to something going into her ass. Build your way up, when she feels OK about going to the next size. Eventually, your cock will be the next size...if everything to that point works.

If she doesn't want this to happen, you can't force her. Forcing her is going to damage your relationship and her trust in you. If not now, there might be some point in time where she will be willing to try this, but you can't force her. Remember...she's ultimately in charge of this, not you. You slow down when she says and you stop, if she says.

Good luck with your attempts. I think both of you will ultimately enjoy this, but only if I'm understanding you that she is willing, except for the pain. If she isn't into anal sex, you have another hurdle to jump. And that one might never be one you can get past.

Plugs? I would say start much smaller and with what you already have - your finger. And lube. Never ever try to insert anything without it. And no, saliva is not enough. And pussy wetness is not enough either. But any kind of lube will work as at this point you don't have to worry about damaging toys or condoms.

So, day 1 - lube on the outside and maybe an inch of your index finger going in. No more than that. And stop. Promise her that you will stop and do it. Even if she does not say anything, even if she says she is not in pain, still stop and take your hand away. Why? Because you promised to do it. If she asks you for more the same day -- good. If not, wait till next time, do it again, go a bit deeper.

When she is completely ok with one finger, try two. Let her know that you are going to do that! Start again with one, finger fuck her for a bit, then add another. If she is still ok, finger fuck her with two fingers.

Note: keep track of which hand you use on/in her ass, so that you never, ever get the same fingers into her vagina. Ass to pussy is a terrible idea, leads to all kinds of medical problems.

When she is comfortable with two you can try plugs. Or you can try three fingers, Or a vibe that she already has (just put a condom on it first).

Slow does it.

But you have to remember - she is always right! If she says no, it has to be an immediate stop, no whining about how much you want this, no shaming her into "taking a little pain for you." If you do not stop once, it will be very hard to convince her that she can trust you to stop the next time she lets you try anything.

 

[DVS]

Plugs? I would say start much smaller and with what you already have - your finger. And lube. Never ever try to insert anything without it. And no, saliva is not enough. And pussy wetness is not enough either. But any kind of lube will work as at this point you don't have to worry about damaging toys or condoms.

So, day 1 - lube on the outside and maybe an inch of your index finger going in. No more than that. And stop. Promise her that you will stop and do it. Even if she does not say anything, even if she says she is not in pain, still stop and take your hand away. Why? Because you promised to do it. If she asks you for more the same day -- good. If not, wait till next time, do it again, go a bit deeper.

When she is completely ok with one finger, try two. Let her know that you are going to do that! Start again with one, finger fuck her for a bit, then add another. If she is still ok, finger fuck her with two fingers.

Note: keep track of which hand you use on/in her ass, so that you never, ever get the same fingers into her vagina. Ass to pussy is a terrible idea, leads to all kinds of medical problems.

When she is comfortable with two you can try plugs. Or you can try three fingers, Or a vibe that she already has (just put a condom on it first).

Slow does it.

But you have to remember - she is always right! If she says no, it has to be an immediate stop, no whining about how much you want this, no shaming her into "taking a little pain for you." If you do not stop once, it will be very hard to convince her that she can trust you to stop the next time she lets you try anything.

While I don't disagree with your mention of using fingers, surely you know there are butt plugs that are as small as a finger is. in fact, I have one. I'm not a novice to this practice. It's just my opinion, but I think finger fucking someone is a little soon, unless she uses her own finger. Personally, I'd prefer to use a thin butt plug and leave it inside her for as long as she feels OK with it. Then, graduate from there.

And with a butt plug, you don't have to worry about it getting mixed up with the vagina, like you could a finger. I also agree that going from ass to pussy is a bad thing to do. It can cause an infection at the very least, or otherwise change the sensitive pH levels.

Did you read my post? I know it was pretty long, but there are several things you seem to be saying that I thought I had already mentioned as important. I guess you were just reiterating, to make sure it's all understood?

 

[AnnieLit]

While I don't disagree with your mention of using fingers, surely you know there are butt plugs that are as small as a finger is. in fact, I have one. I'm not a novice to this practice. It's just my opinion, but I think finger fucking someone is a little soon, unless she uses her own finger. Personally, I'd prefer to use a thin butt plug and leave it inside her for as long as she feels OK with it. Then, graduate from there.

And with a butt plug, you don't have to worry about it getting mixed up with the vagina, like you could a finger. I also agree that going from ass to pussy is a bad thing to do. It can cause an infection at the very least, or otherwise change the sensitive pH levels.

Did you read my post? I know it was pretty long, but there are several things you seem to be saying that I thought I had already mentioned as important. I guess you were just reiterating, to make sure it's all understood?

Yes, sure. It was for the one who asked the question, not that much for you. I don't think you need any help in convincing anybody to do anything

 

[Catshadow]

I'm a sub who enjoys anal. I just clean with wet wipes when I go. My Sir has gotten me to accept that dirty can happen. If you and your partner are concerned about dirt have wipes or washcloth on hand.
Also lube is your friend, and take it slow. It's a very sensitive area so when done correctly can be amazing. In fact the first time i experience multiple orgasms anal was involved.

 

[Andrea1970]

Always...

....have him wear a condom, not just because you may be dirty in there, but to prevent infection.
....use lube, I like baby oil or vaseline
...be on top, so you control penetration on your terms.

You will have fantastic orgssms!