Another Lonely Night

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

"Beth, Beth, it's ok, I'm sorry..."

She became aware of warm arms around her. Her mother's? She tensed waiting for the recriminations to start. "You did this.. you are the reason he did this... you..." She relived the accusations thinking of Darren and then her father.. squeezing her eyes shut not wanting to see it all again.

"Beth, I'm here. I'm ok. I'm sorry."
Beth?... Her mother always called her "Bethany".. in that accusatory tone... her uncle called her "honey".. "sugar"... her...
"Darren..?" she spoke the name... whispered it hoarsely... God it was he who... She felt the arms tighten around her again... she gasped for breath... wanting to sob but unable to... rocked.. to and fro... held... lulled.. warm body close to her.. arms tightening...

"God, I'm so sorry."
His voice echoing the very words she wanted to say to him.

She drew back fractionally. Just far enough to look up at him. Her eyes locked with his. The shared desparation mingling in that intense exchange. Darren's smile wavered as tears slid down his cheek.

"I'm sorry Beth. I-I'm ok. It's all right. I'm sorry."

She let her head move forward, resting against his cheek, feeling the wetness of his tears.

"My fault... "
She whispered.. brokenly...
"..always is... always will be... "
"... killed my daddy... and.. now... you... "

She drew away wrapping her arms around herself, head lowered to her knees.

"Go away! Leave me!"

Her voice was soft, but firm. Firm out of panic, wanting to drive Darren away from her before something terrible happened to him!

The wounds on his groin were old. She knew that. The cut he'd made that night was the only new scar.
So.... she must have driven him to it somehow.
She was fool to think it could ever be right.
By going to him, leaving with him and loving him she had caused all this!
Her brain raced on out of control with inferred reasoning.

As Darren turned away, doubtless assuming the rejection he had been awaiting from Beth, she whispered;

".. so sorry.... didn't mean to do this... just wanted... "

As she lowered her head in defeat she spyed a chunk of glass that had split from the tumbler and rolled across the floor. Slowly she picked it up. She eyed it through her tears. The aritificial half light dancing on the jagged teeth of the shattered edge.

Perhaps her father had had the right idea... perhaps Darren had... perhaps.....

She drew the glass slowly towards her, tears checked, but cheeks still damp and flushed.

She knew Darren had moved away, left her as she told him to. She was great at pushing people away she thought wryly, but if he left he'd be safe, her mind reasoned... and then if she.... well... if she... did... then everyone would be safe.... she was a curse that had to be removed...

Beth drew the glass slowly towards her hand and ran the glass experimentally across her finger. She watched in fascination as it left a red thread of blood in its wake, just as if she had drawn over her skin with a red rollerball... the ink a glistening trail...

She smiled softly.. "yes... " she whispered.
She was the one who had been wrong all along.
*This* was the answer...

She closed her eyes as her hand tightened on the glass fragment.. this would be *so* easy.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

The horror. He'd never seen another survivor cut before, though he had heard about it. Sure, he'd read enough books in dealing with his own issues to get a pretty good idea of most of the tricks people like him used to deal with the unmanagable. Seeing it on paper was one thing though, seeing the woman he loved about to slice her beautiful skin was another. She was innocent. She'd never even cut before as far as he had known - and he'd had a chance to glance for scarwounds in their time together. He had put this damned idea into her head and now he would have to save her from it.

"NO!"

His exclamation was quiet but firm, and shocked her. She had probably thought he had left when she ordered him to, and indeed he had pulled back a little, but he had been too shocked to move much and was still sitting there on the bathroom floor.

"No, Beth... I won't let you do that."

He reached over and took the hand that held the shard of glass. He wasn't strong, but his guilt lent him the strength he needed to pry open her grip so she dropped the savage shard. He snatched it up and dropped it into the trashcan beside them.

"I can't let you do that, Beth... I didn't realise just how bad a thing it was to do till just now. Till I saw you about to. It's a way of letting out the pain, Beth, but it DOESN'T WORK! Not in the end. All that happens is you feel like a failure."

She was looking up into his face now, but whether she was seeing him or not he couldn't tell. Had he pushed her beyond the limits? He hoped he could still help her, even if he was a screw-up himself. He had to try.

"Beth, I'm sorry."

His voice was so steady, but his ragged breathing spoke of the terror and tears he was suppressing. He felt as if the world were spinning before him, more surreal than real. All he could do was focus on Beth and hope he could hang on through this.

"Beth, you didn't do this to me. It wasn't you. It was me. I used to do this years ago, but stopped because I promised my parents. Now I'm promising you, Beth. I won't cut again. Ever. I'm sorry. I had a nightmare is all, the worst in years. I guess when I started to feel safer, it all came flooding back. The sexual abuse. The beatings. The electricity." He shook as he admitted what had happened to him. "It wasn't you, Beth, unless you think it's bad to help someone feel safer."

Then he focussed on what else she said. "Beth, I don't know about your dad. I don't know what happened, but I don't think you killed him. People die, and it's not fair, but it's also not a child's fault. And I'm not leaving you either. Not now or ever, Beth. I need you too much."

He considered wrapping that up with an explanation of just how bad he needed her, but if he put words round it he would just panic her more, or make her think he was lying.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

"NO!"

She jumped, but the glass remained firmly in her hand. She looked up not sure where he had come from. Her attention momentarily torn away from her intention.

As she turned back towards her raised hand she heard him insist.

"No, Beth... I won't let you do that."

His hand closed on hers, wrenching the glass out of her hand. She held on...

"...no... " she objected, but he had removed the glass from her grasp and thrown it away, out of her reach.

"I can't let you do that, Beth... I didn't realise just how bad a thing it was to do till just now. Till I saw you about to. It's a way of letting out the pain, Beth, but it DOESN'T WORK! Not in the end. All that happens is you feel like a failure."

She looked up at him. He didn't understand. She wasn't just going to cut.. she was going to cut as her father had... deeper and deeper.. until.. the blood just left.. and ... you felt nothing... numb.. no hurt... not a faliure... that was what she wanted.. she wanted out...

"Beth, I'm sorry."

The phrase again.. he was sorry.. why?... it was her fault... she knew.. she'd been told so often.. as if she were programmed.. and the sight of his cut had reactivated the tape as it played over and over and over in her head.

Again that voice. She shook her head as if irritated as it drew her back from her quest.

"Beth, you didn't do this to me. It wasn't you. It was me. I used to do this years ago, but stopped because I promised my parents."
She focused on him.. on Darren.. beginning to listen to the words.

"Now I'm promising you, Beth. I won't cut again. Ever. I'm sorry. I had a nightmare is all, the worst in years. I guess when I started to feel safer, it all came flooding back. The sexual abuse. The beatings. The electricity."

".. electricity?.. " She murmured, though he did not hear, just as she did not notice the shaking and the intensity of his emotions.

"It wasn't you, Beth, unless you think it's bad to help someone feel safer."

".. wasn't me?.. "
She echoed as if trying to take it in and he continued.

"Beth, I don't know about your dad. I don't know what happened, but I don't think you killed him. People die, and it's not fair, but it's also not a child's fault. "

Beth started to tell Darren how it had been her fault, try to make him understand, but paused as he continued.

"And I'm not leaving you either. Not now or ever, Beth. I need you too much."

She looked up at him then. The faintest smile curving her lips.

"You're not leaving...? ... but... "
She knew she had told him to go and he had come back and now he was promising her he would never leave..

"..never...?"

He'd said he needed her. She felt so.. worthless, yet he needed her...

"I need you too Darren... "
She whispered, feeling his arms move round her again and trembling as he held her tightly, silent tears slipping down her own cheeks now.

She'd been so close... but he'd not left her... so.. there was no reason that he would leave her in the future. She had to hold onto that.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren smiled weakly at her words and held her close, not saying or doing anything except being with her. The world was still swimming before him. He had virtually pleaded with her and he had forced her not to hurt herself and... well he had done all the things that made him feel stupid, weak, abusive and all the other sickening words he normally called himself. He wanted to tell her he was no good for her, it was the truth, but she had shown she needed him and he had to BE good enough. What could he do now, but hold her and try to be what he wasn't?

He sobbed softly as the feelings overwhelmed him. The nightmare was gone, but the feelings still overwhelmed him. He could almost feel his aunt laughing at him over his shoulder. He was a failure and she would see it soon enough. He would let her down and that would hurt her far more than if he had never taken her from her own abusers in the first place. He felt his throat knotting as he lay his head sideways against hers and cried.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

How long they stayed like that, on the bathroom floor.. both with tears trickling down their faces Beth did not know.

Finally realising her legs were numb, Beth tried to move and gasped as her legs ached wth stiffness and with the minor cuts she had suffered from scrambling across the floor..

"..so cold.. ouch... ".. she whispered...

"Can we go to bed...?"

It was early hours in the morning now and she was numb... emotionally as well as physically...

"Darren.. hold me... please.. I need... "

Darren helped her stand up. Both their wounds had dried, but he had to all but carry her to the bed...

She looked up at him shyly... she was desperate for assurance...physical contact...

"Darren.. I need you close.... I just need to.. feel you against me...!
She looked at him scared. Scared that he would reject her, withdraw from what she realised was a bold advance, but it wasn't a pass.. it was a need.. and she had voiced it before she had thought through the consequences...

She slipped under the covers, slipping off her nightshirt as she did so... somehow she thought that removing her skinty panties would freak him. She looked at him pleadingly... wanting him to remove his pyjamas.... and press against her.. warm her... inside and out...

"..please Darren...take your pyjamas off.. come to bed...?"

She begged softly... hoping... she had not pushed him away with her request.... she did not want to .. force him to do anything she did not want...

Only with him near her.. would she begin to feel safe again...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren gave her a smile, soft, nervous but most of all loving. It has hard to believe Beth still wanted to sleep next to him after what had happened, but it was like something had broken for both of them. He felt the hold his abuse had on him lessen slightly as she held the sheets for him.

"Beth," he breathed, "if you still want me by you, I'm more than happy to sleep next to you."

His hands took hold of his pj bottoms and tugged them down, leaving him naked now. He climed into the bed, its sheets no longer warm from their nights rest as the dawn chorus heralded the soon-to-rise sun. She was still wearing her panties and that was understandable. After all, she said she just wanted to sleep. He put his arm around her once more and kissed her at the back of his neck, feeling the slight tingling in his groin at lying next to someone who was not only extremely beautiful but also his personal saviour.

"Je t'adore," he mumbled, the only phrase in French he could remember from school. "I adore you, my beautiful Beth."

He struggled to resist the urge to let his hand drift ove her breasts, not wishing to frighten her or make her think he really was a pervert, but at the same time he did not roll from her as his cock grew. Rather he reassured her that it didn't matter, that aroused as he was he could just sleep with her tonight.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Her Heart leapt as she returned his smile.

"Beth, if you still want me by you, I'm more than happy to sleep next to you."
Of couse she wanted him to be with her. The trauma had bonded them somehow. There was now still less to hide from the other.

He slipped between the sheets and she drew close to him, their shared body heat warming instantly. His arm around her drew her to him. She found it comforting and protective.

Despite herself, she shivered as he kissed her neck lightly.l... her arms wound round him and her hands rested lightly, one on his chest the other resting on his back.

"Je t'adore, I adore you, my beautiful Beth."

".. and I love you Darren.. "she murmured softly... a sigh of contentment in her voice...

As she began to dose, her leg curled instinctively around one of his. She brushed his cock feeling his hardness.
"Mmmm... that's nice...!" She whispered.

He could not know if she was approving of his arm, his kiss, his words or his erection, but she sounded contented and relaxed.

Her hands travelled slowly across his body, running lightly up his back, then down to his belly and up again. She did not touch his hardness. She did not intend to tease him, but was enjoying the ability to touch him, to hold him, to learn about his body.

She pressed closer ... her panties grazing his hardness as she readjusted.

Again the murmur she gave could have been contentment, or arousal.

"Darren... never leave me.... "
Her voice demanded softly as she half slept... if fully awake she would never have made such a request of him.

"I need you... "

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Her gentle, half-asleep caresses aroused him further as he drifted off. His penis now fully grown, pressed softly between them, warm against her body. Her words, soft and soothing, also showed her own need.

"Never, Beth... Long as you want me, I'm here..." he responded, not knowing whether he was awake or asleep.

That was how the rest of the morning went, lying together, mostly asleep, but not quite fully so. Her loving presence pervaded his dreams and became his first real lover. Their bodies moving together in the misty world of dreams, mingling as they made love, until it was barely possible to tell where one of them ended and the other started. In the solidity of the real world, his hands made soft and gently caresses as he twitched slightly, matching the rhythm of the lovemaking he dreamed about. And throughout their dreams, he had but one phrase to say over and over.

"Thank you, Beth..."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth slept solidly for two hours the emotions of the previous night had exhausted her. Defenceless she had fallen as far down into the pit of despair and fear as it seemed possible to go and yet now, wrapped almost naked in Darren's arms she had experienced the heights of contentment.

After her deep slumber, Beth dosed lightly, now consciously aware of Darren's arms around her and the light movement of his hands... she moaned softly in her half-wakefulness as his hands moved, now and again across her skin. His hardness had been snuggly tucked between them and grew once more as she murmured in response to the gentle stimulating he gave her as he dreamt about their love making.

Beth too felt a warm glow wash over her. Her body was pinked with slowly spreading arousal. She revelled in the light undemanding way that Darren lay beside her and how he reached out for her without insisting that she "satisfy" him. Their shyness eradicated by the sleepy haze they drifted in and out of, Bethany and Darren took the first tentative steps towards physical, sexual contact.

With deepened knowledge, they both knew the other bore scars and neither wanted to rush the other, and so far, neither had been ready to take the step to full sexual knowledge of the other. In sleep the remaining barriers had been lowered and as the sun broke through the curtains indicating that their late morning was now stretching out towards noon, the two slept on, wrapped around each other, bodies instinctively giving and responding to light touches, at peace for the first time since they'd met.

A sun beam finally awoke Beth and as she opened her eyes, squinting immediately against the harshness of the light, she turned her face into Darren's bare chest and lightly kissed his warm skin.

"....morning.... " Her voice was husky with sleep..
"Mmmm .. I slept well...!

She gave a stretch, her legs now entwined with Darren's, her sigh was as a satisfied purr. Pulling the covers upwards as a shiled against the unrelenting sun, Beth drew near to Darren feeling his body react with a twitch then feeling his hardness digging into her...

".....Mmm..." ... she stroked his cheek gently, without drawing away from him.
"...at least part of you's awake..."

She giggled softlly. Her head against his chest once more as she listened to his heartbeat.

"Perfect. " she thought...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Half-awake, half-asleep, Darren was not even aware of what was dream and what was real. He saw her naked before him, returning his caress, savoring his soft skin as his hand stroked over her. He saw her on top of him, slowly sliding up and down on his erection, moaning as her nails gently teased his nipples. He saw her sleeping safely, content to be in the safety of his arms at last. He saw her toss back her head in passion as his tongue played across her legs and vagina. What was real and what was dream, he had no idea.

He felt Beth move against his erection and sigh with a comment of "Perfect..." but did not wake up. Then he felt the noon sun on his face as she crooned a morning greeting, but again he remained in this perfect dream. When he felt her brush against his erection and comment how nice it was that part of him was awake, he knew he was sleeping. This couldn't be real, and he clung on to the dream desperately. Never had his sleep been so wonderful before. Never had even his imagination included such loving sexuality.

"I love you, Beth," he mumbled in response. "You are so beautiful..."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

They lay in drowsy contentment. Bodies against each other. Beth's hands lightly touching Darren's skin. His hardness nestling against her made her shiver with awareness as she became more fully aware of his presence.

She loved being together like this. No barriers. As one!

"I love you, Beth, you are so beautiful..."

She smiled as he spoke those words, so loving, almost reverent..

"Touch me, Darren... " She invited softly. "I won't break... let me feel your hands on me... it's ok.... "

Taking his hands she guided them to her waist...feeling his hands resting tentatively on the silky skin of her sides, guiding one to her midrift.

"It's ok... you can do it if you want..."

She removed her hands from his and ran her hands lightly over his waist and let them rest against his hips. She leaned forward and kissed his chest lightly...

She knew he had held himself back from touching her intimately, had just held her, all night, but she craved his touch. Wanted him to stroke and carress her.

She did not know if Darren would reach out to her, or if he would move away, but at least she had told him that touching her was fine.

 

[BadForm]

"Touch me, Darren... I won't break... let me feel your hands on me... it's ok..."

The dream was becoming more and more solid and realistic. He let his hands wander slowly over her body, caressing up her back and across her shoulders, curving softly down around her waist again.

"It's ok, you can do it if you want."

His mouth caressed her shoulder, bussing her gently more than kissing. Then he traced up to her neck, unaware that he was almost entirely awake and that this was real. His hands worked slow waves up from her waist, across her stomach and between her soft breasts. Touching, teasing, his hand claimed her as his, and revered her like a goddess, both at the same time. He eased in his position, his lips suckling at the base of her neck, arousing the delicate flesh. Then lower, he sank down, still without opening his eyes, still believing he was asleep, and kissed her breast, softly drawing in the nipple between his lips.

Memories flooded him of the things he'd used to try to keep himself satisfied when he was alone. The Visual Karma Sutra, The Joy Of Sex, many other pornographic movies and sex manuals. None of these were that much good at teaching most people to make love, and perhaps it was the survivor part of his soul which had so absorbed and remembered the instructions. His touch, while definitely inexpert, was more than she could have expected from any virgin.

As he sleepily suckled her nipple, his hand ran down her stomach, and caressed across the soft, curly hairs of her bush. He didn't run inside of her, some line from an erotic novel about a woman being pleased be being teased before satisfied rested on his subconcious. His fingers spread around her slit, missing it as his hand ran to the inside of her thigh instead and stroked up and down.

If only this were real, he thought, saying nothing.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth sighed as she felt his mouth on her shoulder then move sensually along up to her neck. She had expected him to be clumsy in his exploration, for his hands to move shyly over her body. She shivered as his hands moved up from her waist and to her stomach.

Beth moaned softly as Darren touched her breasts: His touch lightly erotic as he teased, moving and squeezing. His mouth now on her neck sucked her flesh into his mouth. She moaned again, louder this time and pressed against him.

Beth could see that his eyes were closed and shut her own eyes as she felt Darren move downwards and surround her breast with his hot mouth. She caught her breath as he sucked the nipple into his moist warmth: His lips teasing her taut sensitivity.

Part of Beth knew that she should call a halt to the intimacy. She was surprised at how expertly he aroused her, and she was aroused, more than she had suspected possible. Her body relaxed and responsive arched as Darren sucked her soft flesh and pink tip into is mouth once more. She shivered as his hand moved downwards and brushed her soft mound.

He fumbled, then moved to her thigh and stroked up and down, his touches making her more relaxed that if he had moved his fingers directly into her. He was no expert, but seemed no novice, she puzzled. Her body was pink with glowing arousal.

Oh God.. she wanted him, she realised.

She reached out and squeezed his shaft gently. It seemed to jump in her hand. She ran her fingers along it. The proportions seemed more than adequate for her slight frame.

But… his eyes were closed…

Did he know what they were doing… could she take advantage of him like this..?…. after his horrors the night before, she did not want to make him do anything he would not want to do when fully awake.

She moaned as once again, his finger unconsciously grazed across her button sending a searing need through her body.
God anymore of that and she would not be able to act responsibly.

“Darren… Darren…” She whispered hoarsely, reluctantly releasing his cock.

“Darren… oh God.. this is… ohhh…. “

She caught her breath as he opened his eyes,

"Do you really want to do this…? “ She enquired urgently
“… cos if you don’t you have to stop now…. Before I can’t….”

She moved then, pressing herself against him, fingers lightly touching and squeezing his rock hard penis once more, she moved her thighs making him realise how intimately his hand was moving between her legs, and that she wanted to touch him in return.
She gave a soft moan.

“Darren… please…. Tell me what you want… ? “
She pleaded…
“I love you, but I don’t want to force you …“

She looked at him, not wanting to shatter there mutual trust.

The time had to be right. Perhaps it wasn't for him yet.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren heard her calling through his dream. "Darren… please…. Tell me what you want… ?"

Her voice was so real it was strange. His dreams had never been like this. Only his nightmares were this believable. There was her voice again. “I love you, but I don’t want to force you …“

Calling through his sleep, through his... And with that, the last shred of sleep evaporated and he realised he had not been dreaming, but waking. He had been in that stage between sleep and wakefulness when everything is both dream and reality at once. He truly was suckling and caressing Beth, and...

He pulled his hand back to his mouth in shock. "Oh, god, Beth. I-I'm sorry, I don't know what I was doing. I..."

Her scent was on his fingers, which were moistened where they had caressed across her lips. She was wet. She was breathing slightly harder than he had remembered before. And as her last phrases came back to him, he realised she wanted this.

"Beth..." he said nervously. "I-I want to make love with you, but I... I'm a virgin. I.. I don't know what to do."

He looked into her eyes, feeling stupid and embarrassed. He so wanted her, but he was confused. He had never had sex before. Well, outside of what his aunt and her lover had made him do, but he must have been doing something right to turn her on like that. Almost fearfully he reached out and caressed her breast with his fingers, circling them around her nipple.

"Help me, Beth. Help me learn how to love you."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

He remained silent, his eyes shut as he continued sucklilng Beth and stroking her thigh. Beth held her breath, not knowing how he would respond, if she could get through to him.

Suddenly Darren seemed to tense. He pulled his hand and mouth away.

"Oh, god, Beth. I-I'm sorry, I don't know what I was doing. I..."

She reached out and stroked his hair, not wanting him to be sorry, she wanted him to.. to want her. She remained still, letting him realise that their intimacy had not been a dream.

"Beth... I-I want to make love with you, but I... I'm a virgin. I.. I don't know what to do."

She smiled then, relieved. She too was discovering what it was to be loved. Making love, being with someone who cared. She felt a surge of tenderness as she felt him reach out and carress her breast.

"Help me, Beth. Help me learn how to love you."
His voice so vulnerable, made her heart contract with love for him.


"Darren... there are no rules. It's just about.. discovering each other.... we don't need to ... do it all.. let's just... "

She broke off with a shiver as his fingers moved to her nipple.

"That feels... delicious..." She whispered softly.
"You have a wonderful touch Darren. So sensual... I love you stroking me.... "

Beth took his hand and guided it back down between her legs... she guided his fingers to slip between her folds.

"There.. Darren..." She gasped as his fingers slid gently along her. She moaned softly as he tentatively explored her heated moistness.

"MMmm.. yesss... you make me ache when you touch me like that.."
She encouraged breathlessly.

Her hand moved against his body as she ran her fingers down his belly teasingly and touched his cock lightly. She felt him jump in awareness as her hand closed gently round his shaft.

"We can stop any time.. remember that... but.. you feel soo good.."

Her voice was soft, coaxing him gently. She did not want to abuse his trust, she did not know what the horrors of his background were. How could she know if she brought back frightening memories.

Slowly she moved her fingers along his manhood.. squeezing and teasing... her other hand stroked his hair.. ran down his back and drew him gently to her.

All the while Darren played with her breasts and explored her as she became increasingly heated.

"How do you feel, Darren? ... Is this ok?"

She asked softly, to assure herself that he was still consenting and wondering if he wanted to ... progress...

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Her coaxing helped him learn more about how her body felt, and what felt good to it. Slowly his explorations grew more intense, more focussed, and more aware. Yet inside the old messages were still the same. He'd mess it up and get it wrong. He must be sick to have learned so much from pornos. Just who did he think he was anyhow, thinking a woman like this could really enjoy what he had to offer. It was confusing, but he was determined to break through the wall.

"How do you feel, Darren? ... Is this ok?"

Her voice was so soft and loving that there was no way he could see it as rejection. Yet it did give him space to admit the truth.

"I-I'm nervous, Beth," he said, trying to smile as he blushed instead at the confession. "I-I don't want to get it wrong. I know you said there is no right and wrong, but I want to please you. I-I don't even know what I like yet.... let alone a woman."

He took a deep breath as his face suffused with pink. "Can we just... you know... learn each other. Pet and touch, you know? I- I don't know if I'm ready for sex yet. Sorry."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany

"I-I'm nervous, Beth,"
She looked down at him compassionately. She was trying to guide him, but she too was nervous.

She saw his blush.

"I-I don't want to get it wrong. I know you said there is no right and wrong, but I want to please you. I-I don't even know what I like yet.... let alone a woman."

She listened to his halting confession.

"Can we just... you know... learn each other. Pet and touch, you know? I- I don't know if I'm ready for sex yet. Sorry."

"Darren...." She spoke gently, "we can do what we want. "
She smiled.

"I said we could stop anytime...just... do what you want.. we have all the time in the world..."

She let her hand move away from his manhood.. stroking his chest as she moved his hands away.

"I love to pet and touch... and.. you just ask me if you want me to... "

She smiled and surprised herself by blushing.

"This is new to both of us.... let's just enjoy it."

She gave a relaxed sigh and stretched beside him.

"Mmmmm.... soo cosy..."
She spoke drowsily, though her body was quivering, she slowed the pace, enjoying the warmth of her body's response.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

New to both of them? For a moment he frowned in puzzlement, but then understood. Yes, it was new to her. He had spent so much time thinking there was something wrong with him, there was something sick about him even, that he'd completely forgotten this was the first time she had made love with someone who wanted to treat her nicely instead of use her. It was probably the first time she had ever truly made love. And for the first time, he felt he deeply understood the difference between that and sex.

He lay his head on her shoulder as his hand continued to softly caress her, straying now to her bosom, now to her side. His fever had dropped, although the sensuality was still in the touch. More than that he felt clean tears roll softly from his eyes. He felt stupid for that, but couldn't help it.

Beth didn't notice, enjoying the love they were sharing, until one dropped onto her bare skin. She turned to look at him, a slightly worried look on her face and asked if he was all right.

Darren looked at her with a strange expression of pain and joy on his face. He nodded as he tried to bite back the tears.

"Yes, Beth," he said. "I am... I just... it's... maybe they were wrong. Maybe I'm not so disgusting as they said. Maybe..."

His hand never quite stopped its caress as he spoke, his voice finally faultering. He was blushing, he was crying softly, but more than that, he was smiling at her as though she had just given him a gift more precious than all the gold in Fort Knox. In some ways, she had.

OOC: Hope you don't mind the slight control in her asking him a question under my post. Feel free to do the same any time you need.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth sighed softly as they lay together in the darkness.

Darren touched her gently, almost reverently. She was moved by his openness and strangely nervous herself by such a tender exchange of caresses. She realised that sex was easy, but sharing such intimacy was scary and even painful. She was surprised how vulnerable she felt, now the initial heat of her arousal was over.

She looked down at Darren, smiling tenderly and started to see tears on his face.

“Darren.. God.. are you ok?… please.. tell me.. did I do something..?”

She watched his face anxiously unable to read his expression.

"Yes, Beth," he said. reassuring her,
"I am... I just... it's... maybe they were wrong. Maybe I'm not so disgusting as they said. Maybe..."

“Oh Darren.. you’re not disgusting.. I don’t know how you could think that.”

She paused and realised that she could understand very well how he could think that.

“If you’re disgusting, then I’m a slut and a whore and… all manner of things I’ve been called for years. You won’t believe this…”

She spoke falteringly,

“But.. this is scary for me too. I’ve been wanted since I was old enough to have a body worth fucking, but… I’ve never been loved – emotionally or physically. I’m scared of making mistakes, of scaring you, scared incase I am really the slut they always said I was….”

Her tears joined his. Tears of shared fear, but cleansing tears as they faced their horrors together.

“We need each other, Darren.”

She stated simply.

“Together we can make it… “

She grinned through her tears.


OOC:
No problem re: the question BF. It’s perfectly in character. Sorry about the delay in posting. Look forward to the next instalment. DM x

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Hard for her too? Yes, he knew it was, when he allowed himself to think about it. He'd never thought of her as slutty, but as experienced, and in that he'd presumed she was confident. Yet he had just realised, before she spoke, that he was the first to treat her with love, and her statement confirmed it. She had as much to fear as him.

He bowed his head to kiss her lips, his hand coming up to caress her cheek softly. There was no hunger to his touches now, but something more. There was a kind of warmth and serenity neither of them had felt when considering sex. He just wanted to show her true love, and she wanted the same for him. He couldn't suppress a chuckle as they cuddled like that.

"You're amazing, Beth," he said. "Truly amazing. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were proof there was a god and he'd sent me an angel. I've never felt like this before. I've never even imagined it."

And as if to destroy the mood, his stomach rumbled, loud and long, sounding like extremely rusty piping. He blushed with embarrassment, locking his eyelids together as if to escape her gaze for a moment. Then he turned to look at the clock on the dresser. 2:45 pm. The had slept most of the morning following the terrors of the previous night, and then been cuddling and talking, caressing each others mind and soul, for hours after.

"I'm sorry," he said, laughing slightly. "I guess I didn't realise how late it is. How do you feel about some food?"

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Bethany (Beth)

Beth smiled as Darren as he drew her gently to him; lowering his head he brushed her lips with a soft kiss. His hand touched her cheek softly. The touch, the kiss exquisitely tender, loving. Beth felt warmth envelop her, a feeling of safety and reassurance she had never before experienced. As if neither of them could quite perceive the depth of feeling they were experiencing, Beth heard Darren chuckle and joined her soft mirth with his. It was so strange. They had shared so much, so much emotion, yet, they had come through it all together.

"You're amazing, Beth, truly amazing. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were proof there was a god and he'd sent me an angel. I've never felt like this before. I've never even imagined it."

She blushed at his words and was startled that he was experiencing the same degree of feeling, intimacy as she. She smiled at him, shyly, not quite knowing how to explain all that he had come to mean to her.

The plaintive rumble of his stomach prevented her declaration. Her eyes on his noted his embarrassment, but she could not hold back a laugh as she collapsed on the bed in giggles. Only as she heard his exclamation, did she join him in looking at the clock. She could not believe it was 2:45 pm!

"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't realise how late it is. How do you feel about some food?"

“I can’t believe it either. Yes. I’m ravenous!”

Beth giggled in reply.

“I need a quick shower," added Beth, ".. and then maybe we can go find something tasty.. and filling.. and then.. decide what to do.”

She blushed suddenly, remembering where she was.

“God! What will they think of us. We’ve been locked in here for hours!”

Slipping out of bed, still giggling at the thought of what reputation they could have been unwittingly getting for themselves, Beth moved quickly to the bathroom. Carefully ensuring all glass was safely in the bin, she slipped into the shower and let the water flow over her.

In the bedroom, Darren could hear her humming away to herself as she scrubbed her body and washed her hair. Though reality had come crashing in on them once more, neither was truly thinking of how life would progress now they were runaways. As if in a silent pact, both Beth and Darren were treating this short breathing space as a holiday for both of them, a holiday from the harsh reality they would have to face soon enough.

Beth came into the room, wrapped in a towel and began picking through her case to select her clothes.

“Your turn..”

She spoke casually to Darren as if they had always been waking up together, sharing a bathroom, going about their day together. There was a rightness a comfortable feeling to it all somehow. She smiled over at him as she pulled out a pair of jeans.

"Hurry up! I'm starving!" She teased.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

Darren listened to the sound of his love... the word came so easily now... taking her shower. She was actually humming to herself, and as he listened he picked up the tune, matching her music and savoring the sharing there had been between them. She came out dressed in a towel and looking radiant, exactly the vision of beauty he didn't believe was his.

“Your turn..” She said with a smile as she took out some clothes.

He almost ran into the shower, smelling her scent among the steam and soap. He had never really enjoyed showering before - there were too many memories of what had been done to him. It had always just been a necessary chore. Now, thinking of her, and the safety they found in each other, it became pleasant.

His own voice began to sing along to one of his favorite songs, one that had always been used to cheer him up and keep going when the times got tough.

"What's done, has been done,
And I won't be the one
To despair in the wheelchair
By the sound of if only
So I'll stand up again and I'll run
I'll jump up till I touch the sun
Because I won't be the one to be found
By the sound of if only, if only, if only..."

He smiled deeply and contentedly, thinking he would never think that again. He would never think 'if only I was more handsome,' or 'if only I wasn't such a wuss,' or 'if only...' Now he knew. If Beth loved him, there had to be something worthwhile about him.

He got out of the shower and dried off as he sung the song once more, then walked out into the bedroom. Beth was already dressed. He walked up to her and almost through his arms around her in joy.

"Thank you, Beth," he said, kissing her firmly, but lovingly on the lips before dressing.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Beth

Beth turned as the singing stopped and Darren came back into the room. She had pulled on a pair of jeans and a white tshirt. Her hair was loose and damp in her neck, the bob still sleek and shiny.

Beth turned in surprise as Darren walked up and wound his arms about her. His face was smiling and his eyes danced.

"Thank you, Beth,"

His kiss was firm but loving.
She looked at him wordlessly and astounded as he turned and began to get dressed.

She smiled as she watched him, pleased that his self-consciousness seemed to have disappeared as he slipped into his clothes.

“Darren….” Beth began.
“I know it’s a crazy idea, but.. why don’t we have a picnic?”

She giggled as he turned in surprise.

“We could go to a store get some stuff to drink and eat and find a park somewhere.. and.. just… relax…”

She caught his quizzical look.

“ok..ok.. We’ve done a lot of “relaxing” this morning… what did you have in mind then?”

She enquired, teasingly, but determined to be practical.

 

[BadForm]

Darren Andrews

He finished pulling on his tee-shirt as she suggested a picnic, then changed her mind. It made him chuckle. Was she really that concerned with doing what he wanted that she'd immediately gainsay any decision she made? The first thing he would have to do then, is show her he respected her thinking. Besides, a picnic sounded nice.

"No, I like that idea," he said with a smile. "And it fits in with what I'd like to do. If we're going down into the town to get sandwiches and milk etc, I'd like us to buy something for us. I don't know what. Something small I guess, since we don't know if we're staying around here. I just want something to say we belong together, you know? A souvenir bought together maybe."

I stopped, realising I was trying every justification there was when a simple statement would have done. It made me chuckle slightly. We were both survivors to the core of our being. Even as we healed together, we would still be partly controlled by feelings of what was done in the past. Still, maybe that was the point. Maybe healing wasn't getting rid of feelings, but coping with and bypassing them.

I stepped forward and took her hand, looking sweetly into her face.

"Shall we?" I said, kissing her cheek.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Beth

Even as she changed her mind, Darren agreed with her initial suggestion.

"No, I like that idea, and it fits in with what I'd like to do."

They exchanged a smile.

"If we're going down into the town to get sandwiches and milk etc, I'd like us to buy something for us. I don't know what. Something small I guess, since we don't know if we're staying around here. I just want something to say we belong together, you know? A souvenir bought together maybe."

Beth giggled as Darren talked about a souvenir. She wasn't sure what it was he wanted to buy, but her eyes glowed warmly as he joined her laughter. Both were carefree, much of their self-consciousness had gone. It seemed so... easy... between them this morning.

Darren took her hand. His smile held a warmth that made her toes curl with all the awareness and happiness the look conveyed.

"Shall we?"

His kiss brushed her cheek as she shivered delightedly.

"Yes, let's..."

She spoke softly in answer and took his hand, drawing close to him as both Darren walked out of the room, down the stairs and out to the world they would explore together.

The middle aged woman on the desk seeing them depart, checked the time and quirked an amused smile at the porter. Honeymooners, she assumed. Young ' uns on their first trip together... and although the committment had not been formalised, the bond that had grown up between Darren and Beth, far exceeded that of mere ceremony.