Anyone from the UK?

[KentBloke63]

If a man referred to his cock as a 'pork sword' I'd piss myself laughing! One guy I slept with called his cock 'The beast', which was neither sexy nor accurate.

Xx

I’m sure you’d say ‘the slug’ was more appropriate re size, shape and stickiness

 

[Ironfan]

Morning Humpers and Humpettes!

Humping was all the rage when I was a young Maude. As was bonking.
I remember waitressing in a Saturday job and a man telling me how he'd love to pork me... which, even now, still sounds hilarious to me!

Xx

Only young Maude?

 

[jonnoback]

If a man referred to his cock as a 'pork sword' I'd piss myself laughing! One guy I slept with called his cock 'The beast', which was neither sexy nor accurate.

Xx

Sometimes blokes are just very dim. Though, TBF... 'welcome to the hammer' does have a certain ring to it but only at the right time

 

[bobbykialla]

If a man referred to his cock as a 'pork sword' I'd piss myself laughing! One guy I slept with called his cock 'The beast', which was neither sexy nor accurate.

Xx

Men are mastera of self delusion

 

[MerryeMikee]

Men are mastera of self delusion

Guilty

 

[TheMarksman]

If a man referred to his cock as a 'pork sword' I'd piss myself laughing! One guy I slept with called his cock 'The beast', which was neither sexy nor accurate.

Xx

I was once asked by a GF to name mine. So I chose “Socrates”. To this day, I’m not sure why, but she seemed to like it.

 

[TheMarksman]

Morning Humpers and Humpettes!

Humping was all the rage when I was a young Maude. As was bonking.
I remember waitressing in a Saturday job and a man telling me how he'd love to pork me... which, even now, still sounds hilarious to me!

Xx

Surely you’re as young as the… erm… Beast that that you feel.

 

[snexxer]

If a man referred to his cock as a 'pork sword' I'd piss myself laughing! One guy I slept with called his cock 'The beast', which was neither sexy nor accurate.

Xx

Hiya all.

My sister dated a guy who used to call his cock, the "Purple helmeted miner." The relationship lasted about 3 weeks. Drunk one night she asked if dopey the dwarf wanted to play. She said he left very quickly.

Its amazing what sister-in-laws tell eachother on a girls night out. I dread to think what my wife's told them.

 

[MaudeBlack]

Hiya all.

My sister dated a guy who used to call his cock, the "Purple helmeted miner." The relationship lasted about 3 weeks. Drunk one night she asked if dopey the dwarf wanted to play. She said he left very quickly.

Its amazing what sister-in-laws tell eachother on a girls night out. I dread to think what my wife's told them.

Oooof, that is awful! I'm glad for her it ended so quickly.

Purple Helmeted miner sounds like something you'd hear on a 70s sitcom.

Xx

 

[snexxer]

Oooof, that is awful! I'm glad for her it ended so quickly.

Purple Helmeted miner sounds like something you'd hear on a 70s sitcom.

Xx

Lol something from Alf Garnet or a Carry-on.

 

[TheMarksman]

Or Peter Cook’s player of the pink oboe.

 

[jonnoback]

Oooof, that is awful! I'm glad for her it ended so quickly.

Purple Helmeted miner sounds like something you'd hear on a 70s sitcom.

Xx

There was a very well known computer game back in the 80s called 'Manic Miner' and he did have a helmet.

 

[hugh_jarce69]

The Pirate of Men’s Pants

 

[KentBloke63]

Good job the spelling was with an ‘e’ not an ‘o’

 

[shamzad_101]

I was once asked by a GF to name mine. So I chose “Socrates”. To this day, I’m not sure why, but she seemed to like it.

A deep and meaningful choice. One of my 1st girlfriends chose sparky...

 

[angelofthenorth]

Good Morning Play Mates, Kettles on

 

[MerryeMikee]

Good morning

 

[KentBloke63]

A deep and meaningful choice. One of my 1st girlfriends chose sparky...

I seem to recall a gf call it, ‘oh god, not that again’…

 

[Ironfan]

Morning all, caffeine definitely needed today

 

[angelofthenorth]

Morning all, caffeine definitely needed today

caffine! caffine ! my kingdom for caffine!!

 

[jonnoback]

Tea?

 

[MerryeMikee]

Some still in the pot, or shall I make fresh?

 

[jonnoback]

I’m gonna need fresh please ️

 

[MerryeMikee]

Kettle is on ️

 

[bobbykialla]

caffine! caffine ! my kingdom for caffine!!

Caffine is king!!