Are all the Bisexual Ladies shy or something?

[ketalia]

Sometimes I feel that way though! I get mistaken for the Token Straight Girl when I go to the Lesbian Bar. It's like "No Ladies and GentleButches, I really do go both ways... Generally our way more than the other..."

Though I suppose it's all ways, not both ways, since I'm don't have any real genderbias in my lusting. I don't care if they're men, women, transitioning or fluid. As long as you're not an asshat, you're worth a second look!

 

[StrayKat]

Though I suppose it's all ways, not both ways, since I'm don't have any real genderbias in my lusting. I don't care if they're men, women, transitioning or fluid. As long as you're not an asshat, you're worth a second look!

Yeah same here.
If you let me run loose I am all over the place

 

[celticbtrfly]

Sometimes I feel that way though! I get mistaken for the Token Straight Girl when I go to the Lesbian Bar. It's like "No Ladies and GentleButches, I really do go both ways... Generally our way more than the other..."

Though I suppose it's all ways, not both ways, since I'm don't have any real genderbias in my lusting. I don't care if they're men, women, transitioning or fluid. As long as you're not an asshat, you're worth a second look!

I understand this, because I've been told by my gay and lesbian friends that I give off the "straight" vibe...and my straight friends assume I'm straight because I'm married. I recently met this woman that I am sooooo attracted to, but I wouldn't even know how to approach the situation...."hi, I like you, and no my husband won't be watching or in the room"?
I don't mean to trivialize it, but it's so frustrating. And I feel myself doing the whole girly thing of twirling my hair and giggling when I'm around her. ...which is SO not me normally! *sigh*

 

[MrsCCfromRC]

(Sharing my non solicited 2 cents here)

I agree that sometimes it's hard to jump in when new because you're trying to figure out how to go about things on Lit. Not that I have oodles of experience, but I know I like to read some bio info. I understand keeping things on the DL for privacy reason but at least put a blurb what you are looking for lit. So just a suggestion to some folks, fill out part of your profile. Give us at least an age and general idea of what you're into. Maybe that will help....I know I personally don't chat with folks that leave their info blank. It's nice having an idea of what you're getting yourself into

This has been mentioned before but always needs to be repeated. Like others have said, a PM without a profile is quickly deleted. You get to know a little about us through our profile so please be considerate enough to make sure your's in filled out too. Thanks...

 

[ketalia]

I understand this, because I've been told by my gay and lesbian friends that I give off the "straight" vibe...and my straight friends assume I'm straight because I'm married. I recently met this woman that I am sooooo attracted to, but I wouldn't even know how to approach the situation...."hi, I like you, and no my husband won't be watching or in the room"?
I don't mean to trivialize it, but it's so frustrating. And I feel myself doing the whole girly thing of twirling my hair and giggling when I'm around her. ...which is SO not me normally! *sigh*

It IS frustrating...

Last week, a lovely Butch said to me "Ketalia, I know this girl that I think is straight. But I really like her. How do you ask a straight girl out without offending her if she's not bi?"

So my heart goes pitterpat... Is it me? Please? Can it be me? "Um, well it depends... Where do you know her from?"

"From the Slow Jam folkie group."

"So you say something like 'hey, I really like your guitar/mandolin/banjo/whatever it is she plays. Wanna go have coffee sometime and talk strings?'. That way, it's not a date date, but you can get to know her better, and maybe things will go well from there."

"Yeah, she's one of the drummers."

In the back of my head, I'm all "YAY! I'm in the folkie group! Yay! I play the Bhodran! YAY! I play the Doumbek!" I get a little dressed up. Actually clean out the car, since she usually walks and my passenger seat tends to collect tools and instruments and knitting stuff and dance gear...

Get to the Monday night session and she comes roaring up on her Indian, and at the break, walks up to the only other drummer in the room and asks her out for coffee. Yeah, once again, not me.

The young lady shoots her down. Nicely of course. Had to get home for the babysitter or something.

At the end of the jam session, I say to her, "Sorry it didn't work out. Want to go for coffee with me instead?"

She says "Maybe another time. I'm gonna go hit the bar. I gotta quit crushing on you straight girls. Y'all keep breaking my heart."

*sigh*

Really? "We" do? I can't imagine how that feels...

 

[Farrah]

It IS frustrating...

Last week, a lovely Butch said to me "Ketalia, I know this girl that I think is straight. But I really like her. How do you ask a straight girl out without offending her if she's not bi?"

So my heart goes pitterpat... Is it me? Please? Can it be me? "Um, well it depends... Where do you know her from?"

"From the Slow Jam folkie group."

"So you say something like 'hey, I really like your guitar/mandolin/banjo/whatever it is she plays. Wanna go have coffee sometime and talk strings?'. That way, it's not a date date, but you can get to know her better, and maybe things will go well from there."

"Yeah, she's one of the drummers."

In the back of my head, I'm all "YAY! I'm in the folkie group! Yay! I play the Bhodran! YAY! I play the Doumbek!" I get a little dressed up. Actually clean out the car, since she usually walks and my passenger seat tends to collect tools and instruments and knitting stuff and dance gear...

Get to the Monday night session and she comes roaring up on her Indian, and at the break, walks up to the only other drummer in the room and asks her out for coffee. Yeah, once again, not me.

The young lady shoots her down. Nicely of course. Had to get home for the babysitter or something.

At the end of the jam session, I say to her, "Sorry it didn't work out. Want to go for coffee with me instead?"

She says "Maybe another time. I'm gonna go hit the bar. I gotta quit crushing on you straight girls. Y'all keep breaking my heart."

*sigh*

Really? "We" do? I can't imagine how that feels...

Oh, sweetie...my heart breaks for you. I really, really hope you find your someone special soon. You obviously deserve it. Until then...((hugs!!))

P.S. I folk music and drummers.

 

[ketalia]

Thanks.. *beeg hugs* I'm sure I'll find a nice girl, or grrrl someday, but until then I'll just perv from afar...

 

[Farrah]

Thanks.. *beeg hugs* I'm sure I'll find a nice girl, or grrrl someday, but until then I'll just perv from afar...

Perving is perfectly acceptable!

 

[Jacqueline_]

It IS frustrating...

Last week, a lovely Butch said to me "Ketalia, I know this girl that I think is straight. But I really like her. How do you ask a straight girl out without offending her if she's not bi?"

So my heart goes pitterpat... Is it me? Please? Can it be me? "Um, well it depends... Where do you know her from?"

"From the Slow Jam folkie group."

"So you say something like 'hey, I really like your guitar/mandolin/banjo/whatever it is she plays. Wanna go have coffee sometime and talk strings?'. That way, it's not a date date, but you can get to know her better, and maybe things will go well from there."

"Yeah, she's one of the drummers."

In the back of my head, I'm all "YAY! I'm in the folkie group! Yay! I play the Bhodran! YAY! I play the Doumbek!" I get a little dressed up. Actually clean out the car, since she usually walks and my passenger seat tends to collect tools and instruments and knitting stuff and dance gear...

Get to the Monday night session and she comes roaring up on her Indian, and at the break, walks up to the only other drummer in the room and asks her out for coffee. Yeah, once again, not me.

The young lady shoots her down. Nicely of course. Had to get home for the babysitter or something.

At the end of the jam session, I say to her, "Sorry it didn't work out. Want to go for coffee with me instead?"

She says "Maybe another time. I'm gonna go hit the bar. I gotta quit crushing on you straight girls. Y'all keep breaking my heart."

*sigh*

Really? "We" do? I can't imagine how that feels...

Awwww, you poor thing! I take it you haven't told her that you are bi - why not just drop it into conversation?

 

[celticbtrfly]

It IS frustrating...

Last week, a lovely Butch said to me "Ketalia, I know this girl that I think is straight. But I really like her. How do you ask a straight girl out without offending her if she's not bi?"

So my heart goes pitterpat... Is it me? Please? Can it be me? "Um, well it depends... Where do you know her from?"

"From the Slow Jam folkie group."

"So you say something like 'hey, I really like your guitar/mandolin/banjo/whatever it is she plays. Wanna go have coffee sometime and talk strings?'. That way, it's not a date date, but you can get to know her better, and maybe things will go well from there."

"Yeah, she's one of the drummers."

In the back of my head, I'm all "YAY! I'm in the folkie group! Yay! I play the Bhodran! YAY! I play the Doumbek!" I get a little dressed up. Actually clean out the car, since she usually walks and my passenger seat tends to collect tools and instruments and knitting stuff and dance gear...

Get to the Monday night session and she comes roaring up on her Indian, and at the break, walks up to the only other drummer in the room and asks her out for coffee. Yeah, once again, not me.

The young lady shoots her down. Nicely of course. Had to get home for the babysitter or something.

At the end of the jam session, I say to her, "Sorry it didn't work out. Want to go for coffee with me instead?"

She says "Maybe another time. I'm gonna go hit the bar. I gotta quit crushing on you straight girls. Y'all keep breaking my heart."

*sigh*

Really? "We" do? I can't imagine how that feels...

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
I wish I knew how to change that whole "straight" vibe to a "hey I'm open" vibe....wouldn't it be nice if we could just flip a switch?
Oh, and I love the Bhodran....and Bhodran players.

 

[maggiemarie]

Thanks.. *beeg hugs* I'm sure I'll find a nice girl, or grrrl someday, but until then I'll just perv from afar...

Sounds like you might need to be a bit more forward with the butch you mentioned. She clearly thinks you are straight, completely so.

A little mention might go a long way

I know hindsight is 20:20, but a quick comeback line to her at that moment might have been a great opener.

"Who are you calling straight?"

*look around* "is there a straight girl standing here? I don't see one..."

A good sense of humor is always attractive

 

[maggiemarie]

I understand this, because I've been told by my gay and lesbian friends that I give off the "straight" vibe...and my straight friends assume I'm straight because I'm married. I recently met this woman that I am sooooo attracted to, but I wouldn't even know how to approach the situation...."hi, I like you, and no my husband won't be watching or in the room"?
I don't mean to trivialize it, but it's so frustrating. And I feel myself doing the whole girly thing of twirling my hair and giggling when I'm around her. ...which is SO not me normally! *sigh*

Well, consider what you do if you are flirting with a man. Many of those same things really are unisex, you know.

A brushing touch of the hand on the arm.

Eye contact (we all know this is a big one...its all in the timing...)

Proximity

And the hair twirling isn't necessarily a bad thing

Sounds to me like the only problem you are having is working on making these more deliberate, which of course leads to the final (and usually vital) point of appeal; confidence.

Not arrogance, of course, but confidence. Many people tend to find that attractive.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[celticbtrfly]

Well, consider what you do if you are flirting with a man. Many of those same things really are unisex, you know.

A brushing touch of the hand on the arm.

Eye contact (we all know this is a big one...its all in the timing...)

Proximity

And the hair twirling isn't necessarily a bad thing

Sounds to me like the only problem you are having is working on making these more deliberate, which of course leads to the final (and usually vital) point of appeal; confidence.

Not arrogance, of course, but confidence. Many people tend to find that attractive.

Just my 2 cents.

Good to know I've been doing other good stuff. Like eye contact, touch, smile. I've been accused a few times of being a flirt with both men and women by friends (and jealous ex boyfriends).

 

[Farrah]

Well, consider what you do if you are flirting with a man. Many of those same things really are unisex, you know.

A brushing touch of the hand on the arm.

Eye contact (we all know this is a big one...its all in the timing...)

Proximity

And the hair twirling isn't necessarily a bad thing

Sounds to me like the only problem you are having is working on making these more deliberate, which of course leads to the final (and usually vital) point of appeal; confidence.

Not arrogance, of course, but confidence. Many people tend to find that attractive.

Just my 2 cents.

This is fantastic advice!

 

[ketalia]

Awwww, you poor thing! I take it you haven't told her that you are bi - why not just drop it into conversation?

I've never come right out and said "Hey! Bi here!" but I originally met her at a GALA choir festival, where I was soloing... And we keep running into each other at the feminist bookstore (which in this small town pretty much outs you!) and she's talked to me about how a Great Rite is just as valid between two women as it is between a man and a woman.

Maybe I should just come out and say something on Monday.

 

[Chillygirl]

Hi there ladies. I am new to this and consider myself bi-curious. I've never done more than fantasize about being with another woman; I've never even talked to another woman sexually. But I love looking at women, watching them, and would like to move ahead a little. I'm shy and don't want to offend...help!

 

[fyrbush]

Welcome to the site....by chance have you read any of the stories on Lit?

 

[maggiemarie]

Good to know I've been doing other good stuff. Like eye contact, touch, smile. I've been accused a few times of being a flirt with both men and women by friends (and jealous ex boyfriends).

See? It is obviously working Keep it up! From the sound of it, I know that I would be getting the right vibe from you (if I was this woman you are talking about...which I'm not, mores the pity )

This is fantastic advice!

I know what would work on me. So, made sense to share

(ps. you would undoubtedly work on me...just saying...)

 

[Jacqueline_]

I've never come right out and said "Hey! Bi here!" but I originally met her at a GALA choir festival, where I was soloing... And we keep running into each other at the feminist bookstore (which in this small town pretty much outs you!) and she's talked to me about how a Great Rite is just as valid between two women as it is between a man and a woman.

Maybe I should just come out and say something on Monday.

I think you should do it! From what you recounted, it sounds like she might be into you but think that you're straight.

 

[maggiemarie]

I think you should do it! From what you recounted, it sounds like she might be into you but think that you're straight.

I agree.

Go bold! This is exactly what you need to do...I am confident it will pay dividends in the end.

 

[celticbtrfly]

See? It is obviously working Keep it up! From the sound of it, I know that I would be getting the right vibe from you (if I was this woman you are talking about...which I'm not, mores the pity )

It appears I could take some lessons from you, Ms. Flirt.

 

[maggiemarie]

It appears I could take some lessons from you, Ms. Flirt.

I am happy to give lessons.

I do, however, have a strict dress code.....

 

[celticbtrfly]

I am happy to give lessons.

I do, however, have a strict dress code.....

Uh oh...will I have to get the corsets out of hiding?

 

[maggiemarie]

Uh oh...will I have to get the corsets out of hiding?

That would be a good idea

Although, I don't think they'll be within dress code for the whole day....

 

[Sexeuphoria]

Hey there! I'd call myself bi-curious, too. The problem is, whenever you meet a woman who's attractive, you just don't know what "side" she is on. Living in a rather small town, I'd have no idea how to "find" a lesbian scene. Any ideas? Being, as mentioned by others before, rather shy, I'd prefer to be hit on rather than to be the hitter first. Maybe later I would find the confidence.
Someone mentioned bi-stories here on lit. Got any suggestions/links?
Thanks and have a good one!