SimonDoom
Kink Lord
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2015
- Posts
- 17,719
Wow. A writer’s forum and nobody else took the bait...
My lightest touch would be to add punctuation:
Hyphens or brackets could also work, commas are preferred(?).
As for a re-structuring, I feel that “long felt” conveys a sense of past tense (despite being inclusive of the present), so it clashes with present tense “discover” (which you're using for something that was actually learnt in the past). So I’ll suggest using “discovered” instead:
And lastly, for the census, I am not American. I currently reside in the area with the ‘hot MILFs’ (according to numerous emails and banner ads).
I'm just thankful people aren't complaining that the AH has a number of unusually small Americans.