Arrange your funeral.

[dolf]

For fun.

It's not morbid.

I'm thinking I need to write mine down, so that my bodybuilding toyboy with the huge cock© gets it right...

I have decided that my uterus should be removed and cremated separately before burial, just in case the Egyptians were right.
I would like the reading to be taken from the works of Doctor Seuss. A very serious looking official should read, without smiling, the entirety of Green Eggs and Ham.
I would like no hymns, because nobody ever knows the words. Or the tune. Because nobody goes to church. It always just sounds a bit pitiful.
My chosen music would be vide cor meum.

 

[KeithD]

Too late. I have and it's fully paid for--not that I'm planning to go anytime soon.

 

[Sean]

As cheap as possible. No ceremony. Beat to death any religious type that tries to interfere.

 

[BigTopBedlam]

https://media.giphy.com/media/lwPRy1iOlMfC0/200.gif

 

[Wings]

Cremate me and scatter me or keep me. I don’t care. No songs. No religious anyfuckingthing. Just make sure my animals are well taken care of and that my books get donated somewhere.

 

[Go_Fuck_Yourself]

State Funeral - With Honour Guard

1000+ unit motorcade to tie up traffic for a few hours.

21-Gun Salute

Day of mourning to be declare a National Holiday in future years.

https://assets.bwbx.io/images/users/iqjWHBFdfxIU/iToelp237Z8E/v0/1200x-1.jpg

https://assets.bwbx.io/images/users/iqjWHBFdfxIU/iMstR.83BmtU/v0/1200x-1.jpg

 

[FataMorgana]

Weirdly I'd like the full Catholic job, gotta be a burial too. With my favourite book (in case I wake up bored) and my garnet rosary. If it's Catholic I can't really have a song played otherwise I'd have something sad by Kate Bush or something very Irish which would be sad too (not the Dropkick Murphys). Me and my best friend have said if the other dies we'll do her make-up (I'm gonna do her in full KISS make-up to freak out her husband and son in the Chapel of Rest just for laughs).

None of that celebration shit. I want everyone in black garb, weeping and wailing and preferably someone to throw themselves sobbing on my coffin before it's lowered. Maybe bring Phil back just for that.

I'm very traditional.

 

[FataMorgana]

As cheap as possible. No ceremony. Beat to death any religious type that tries to interfere.

Bollocks to that. I'm gonna turn up and sing Ave Maria whilst sucking on helium.

 

[Comshaw]

for years I had it all planned and written out:
Cremation. Then my son, daughter and grandson were to take my ashes to Goat lake and scatter them on the water. It would be a last adventure with my git. Why? Well the path to Goat Lake is a bit tough.
The first part of the trail starts at a parking lot and meanders 5 1/2 miles up a river to a campsite called Camp Handy with an elevation gain of around 600' over that distance.

Once there you turn west and head up the mountain. in the next 1 3/4 miles you climb 2,400' in elevation. The last time I was there, in some places as you trudge up the trail, bent over to balance the weight of your pack, you can reach out (not down) and touch the trail with your hand. The lake sits in a pretty little depression on the eastern side of an Olympic mountain peak.

Recently though that's changed. Now I want them to make me into fertilizer for a tree. We're all going that way anyway, back into the cycle of life, so why not skip all the other crap and not take up space in some damned grave yard? Who knows, maybe my tree will build someones house someday.

Along with that will be a memorial service with lots of ROCK AND ROLL playing. Everyone that comes will be handed a fifth of there favorite spirit which will spark huge drunken party. WhoooWaaa!

https://phys.org/news/2011-03-ecological-burial-involves-freeze-drying-composting.html


Comshaw

 

[Kantarii]

Obituary - Buried Alive (Venom cover)

https://youtu.be/CP7jq_DDq9U

I'm alive but dead, awake but asleep
As friends gather round and mourners they weep
My mind thinks of all the things I have done
My body is cold but my heart beat goes on
And on and on
As they lower me down into that hole in the ground
I scream out for help but they hear not a sound
I tear at the lid, my fingers they bleed
Is this happening to me or is it just a dream

 

[BotanyBoy]

Cremate my carcass and throw the ashes out with the Jon/Jane does.

 

[ryan8558]

Weirdly I'd like the full Catholic job, gotta be a burial too. With my favourite book (in case I wake up bored) and my garnet rosary. If it's Catholic I can't really have a song played otherwise I'd have something sad by Kate Bush or something very Irish which would be sad too (not the Dropkick Murphys). Me and my best friend have said if the other dies we'll do her make-up (I'm gonna do her in full KISS make-up to freak out her husband and son in the Chapel of Rest just for laughs).

None of that celebration shit. I want everyone in black garb, weeping and wailing and preferably someone to throw themselves sobbing on my coffin before it's lowered. Maybe bring Phil back just for that.

I'm very traditional.

Thought you would at least have Runnin' Up That Hill played at yours.

 

[69Massagingman]

Nobody I love needs to spend a dime, If I die right now my life was good. anything I have I want the people I love to enjoy and spend No fucking funeral fucking home gets a penny.

I want Good music from my musician friends and a big fucking party. I want the Grateful dead playing in between sets. He's gone, what I listened to at my fathers funeral.


then I want to be cremated , I want my ashes put into a pot and grow up some killer buds and have my friends smoke me.


No Heaven - No hell...….Hopefully I touched someone life enough for a little piece of me to live on in their soul

 

[doowdniw]

A couple of tunes on the bagpipe (not Amazing Grace) and I'll be good to go. Just toss me in the furnace and spend the money saved for no funeral on a blow out party. Plans have already been made-because I like to plan ahead.

 

[silver gurl]

Cremate me, throw me in the water. Do a party.

 

[bushyTrail]

I want my body to be delivered late, so I get to be late at my own funeral!

 

[DeluxAuto]

https://youtu.be/6opYkdM15fI

 

[bellisarius]

I'm to be cremated. It'll be my last middle finger gesture to the freaked out over CO2 crowd.

2 cups of my ashes are to be set aside and the remainder chucked off this

http://www.highestbridges.com/wiki/images/thumb/4/49/1RioGrandeGorgeBridge.jpg/750px-1RioGrandeGorgeBridge.jpg

bridge.

Of the 2 cups reserved 1 is to be sent to Wat with instructions to add 1/4 tsp. per fill up so I'll be spewing out of the exhaust of his Harley all over the Eastern US and the remaining cup is going to an OTR trucker friend out here so he can add 1/2 tsp. per fill up and that should cover the Western US.

 

[SearchingNomad]

For fun.

It's not morbid.

I'm thinking I need to write mine down, so that my bodybuilding toyboy with the huge cock© gets it right...

I have decided that my uterus should be removed and cremated separately before burial, just in case the Egyptians were right.
I would like the reading to be taken from the works of Doctor Seuss. A very serious looking official should read, without smiling, the entirety of Green Eggs and Ham.
I would like no hymns, because nobody ever knows the words. Or the tune. Because nobody goes to church. It always just sounds a bit pitiful.
My chosen music would be vide cor meum.

We will bode you farewell on the banks of the Nile..

 

[LesDesirable]

Should my plan for a 50000 year life span fail, I have set aside money for my death - primarily to buy wine and food. My family will decide on the service they wish - it is not me who will need cloture and comfort.

Hopefully they will drink, eat, laugh a lot, tell some lies, tell some truths, and leave knowing that my life made a difference.

As for my remains: I will be un-embalmed and wrapped in a burial shroud to be buried without a casket or box of any kind. I have asked for a Ginkgo tree to be planted on the grave, but if they choose an oak, maple, elm, or something else - I won't complain (literally).

 

[rae121452]

i tried donating my body so i wouldn't even have to think about any of this shit. apparently, a lot of people are as cheap as i because every place i contacted said they weren't accepting any more bodies, they were full up.

so, if that's not possible, cremation in a cardboard coffin, ashes dumped in my yard. i kind of like the idea of my body being left out in the woods somewhere to feed the critters. i'm sure that's illegal everywhere.

or, ultimately, i'd like one of those old time funerals where all of the guests are slain.

 

[butters]

closed casket cremation, cheap as you like. no service, ashes brought home and put in the garden with maybe a rose bush or an english oak acorn. anyone wants to come celebrate my life, bring food and booze and enjoy music. no stupid masses of floral tributes. any donations to go to charities of their choice. have a drink to me


cannot abide the southern thing down here (not sure how it's done elsewhere in the usa) where it's all about show, flowers, cars, that whole open casket viewing affair... the last thing i want is to be on display like a wax effigy.

 

[thør]

I'm told by my spouse that it's all arranged for one last whitewater ride.

First cremation, then flush.

 

[Wrong Element]

There will be an open bar.

Actually, to save time and expense, we might just have it at a bar.

 

[thør]

There will be an open bar.

Actually, to save time and expense, we might just have it at a bar.

I'm certain that my cellared wine and beer will be enjoyed by all.