As promised: Kitchen appliance how-to thread!

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Mr. Dork]

ummm...

what if this actually sounds FUN?

Tie him up, naked, with a chain of those multitudinous plastic grocery bags that breed under the sink. Gag with apple, men are pigs (the absolute lowest!)

Drizzle with honey, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, etc. Festoon with strawberries. Giggle maniacally. Turn him over, enjoy his ass with various things... ice cream scoop handle, banana, increase size of items... bottles of spices, continue on up. Laugh maniacally some more.

Slap balls with spatula, roll pizza cutter lightly down his chest, grin wickedly.





My goodness, what has gotten into me this morning? Nice thread, Sheath!

 

[watergirl]

Then, Mr. Dork, you're in the right place.

 

[sheath]

ummm...

what if this actually sounds FUN?

Yes, you are definitely in the right place!



And Orchid...this Julia Child thing really has me feeling...ahem...INSPIRED.

S.

 

[sheath]

Sheath,

I found the perfect musical accompaniment to your kitchen adventures!!!!!

May I present.....The First Vienna Vegetable Orchestra!

http://www.gemueseorchester.org/anfang_e.htm

Apparently, their instruments are solely vegetables and the occasional kitchen utensil. Once the performance is over, they make soup out of their instruments so the audience "can enjoy them a second time."

And it's hard not to notice how phallic some of these instruments are. My two favorites are the gurkophon and the gurkenficke.

They have a CD out, but my guess would be it's best experienced in person. Maybe this is a good excuse for a group trip to Europe....

Seriously, though, it sounds great. A very interesting, other-worldly sound. I ordered a couple of CDs.

I think...I am completely and totally impressed.

And I'm ordering CDs, too. Wonder if I will like listening to them the next time I make my cucumber salad???



S.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[dollface007]

more of a bathroom item, but....

So, in my experience, dildo-shaped toothbrush holders (like the ones you use for travel) are pretty easy to find. Before i had a proper dildo, that's what i used. Plus, as i found recently, they're very convenient to have when you're horny, w/o a man, and travelling. Just be sure to scrub it thoroughly if you're actually going to put your toothbrush in it!!!!

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[NippleMuncher]

New Better Homes and Gardens Headlines:

*Salad tongs for those hard-to-handle hot nuts (I have this vision of licking balls through a pait of tongs)

Hhmmmmm, that DOES sound nice, doesn't it!! As long as you stay away from the garlic MINCER we'll get along just fine...

 

[Lust Engine]

Whatever you do, JUST DON'T TURN ON PBS!!!!

No no no no no....NO! I implore you NOT to wander down that infamous lane towards PBS again. The last time we went there I couldn't watch that station in fear of looking at THAT woman rub down various cuts of meat.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Lust Engine]

New headline:

Julia Child expose: The off-camera sausage parties

Words can't even begin to describe the astonishment....

 

[Lust Engine]

There goes my donation to public television this year!

 

[NippleMuncher]

There goes my donation to public television this year!

Money spent on deep psychological help to remove the image of Julia Child stuffing sausage!!

LOL

 

[Lust Engine]

Money spent on deep psychological help to remove the image of Julia Child stuffing sausage!!

LOL

Can't I just settle for a full frontal lobotomy?? Somehow the voice of Julia Child having an orgasm is haunting me to no end tonight.

Oooo, Orchid....!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Can't I just settle for a full frontal lobotomy?? Somehow the voice of Julia Child having an orgasm is haunting me to no end tonight.

AAHHHH!!! You had to go there!!

 

[Lust Engine]

AAHHHH!!! You had to go there!!

THAT voice, coupled with that face that looks like a clinched fist, in the throes of an orgasm. I'm gonna need the mental pumice to scour that visual off. NOOOOOOOO!

 

[CelticFrog]

Okay. I'm sorry, this just HAS to be bumped.
There's just way too much fun to be had here, and things have been getting serious here. So time for fun again.

I'm off to find the hamster thread and a food one too.


Ang

 

[sheath]

I personally have discovered a fetish for Emeril.

I just want to hear him say "Bam!" in an entirely different context.

S.

 

[CelticFrog]

I just want to note that every time sheath is cooking while I'm on the phone with her EVER AGAIN, I will have to laugh.

Then again, the same goes for the vice versa.



Ang

 

[sheath]

I just want to note that every time sheath is cooking while I'm on the phone with her EVER AGAIN, I will have to laugh.

Then again, the same goes for the vice versa.



Ang

Just remember, when I holler "Bam!" it might be a good idea to hang up the phone and laugh.

Unless you just wanna listen.

S.

 

[CelticFrog]

I think it's likely that many litsters would be upset if I DIDN'T stay and listen. And record. And give a review. And find a way to post the audio.

Now... I am curious. J is chopping onions, so how would you use that food chopper?

Ang

 

[sheath]

I think it's likely that many litsters would be upset if I DIDN'T stay and listen. And record. And give a review. And find a way to post the audio.

Now... I am curious. J is chopping onions, so how would you use that food chopper?

Ang

Hmmm...well...if you are into marking your territory, and if that food chopper can come apart, you could maybe use it to make little marks on the skin in appropriate areas. Then when someone asks you, hey, what is that red mark thingie? You can say, that is my marking of food chopper sex.

But I'm just kinky that way.

S.

 

[BlueSugar]

I think if anyone I was with said "BAM" in bed (unles its you Sheath, you can slide *wink*) I would laugh myself out of the room and pee myself, that is too funny to be serious.

as for my contribution
Pampered chef sells mini everythings from spatulas to graters

I reciently found a pickle/olive grabber to be nice nipple stimulation. Kinda pinches and hurts but hey
wooden or plastic lemon orange juicer (the one you hold in your hand) can be used for various things...