BDSM Virgin-curious to explore

[SpiritedMe]

So I am in my early 30's with young kids and a marriage that has recently ended. It was lifeless for too long and one of the things I struggled most with was the fact that he was not very sexual or dominant in the bedroom at all. Sounds like drama I know.I'm tired of being afraid and embarrassed of my sexual side though and I'm exhausted with repressing myself just because my husband was not a very sexual person. I would say I am average looking, blond hair blue eyes, could lose 20 lbs but have turned down many advances from men over the years to be faithful but now I feel so repressed I'm losing my mind. My husband and I realize we are two very different people, even outside of any of the sexual stuff. I am very adventurous, adrenaline seeking, fun, I love to dance, and play poker, and camp, and fish, and box, and he plays video games in his free time and doesn't know what to do in the bedroom. The bedroom is the one place I need to let go of control and want someone to lead me and take control and I crave the submission and trust that comes along with that. I really know nothing of the lifestyle though outside of what I have read I books and don't know where to go from here. I want to learn more about it and have someone I could talk to about it. I feel super alone right now in this because its not something my friends or anyone knows about. I just need to explore it a bit and see if its for me. I don't even know if this is the place to try to find that stuff out but I'm giving it a shot. I'm pretty open with talking and feel vulnerable enough right now that I just need to hear its ok to have these desires. In my marriage I got used to feeling undesirable but then I would go out and be propositioned and feel guilty that i was flattered by someones compliments. I am still a young woman and want to learn and explore some of e kinky things that appeal to me and make me hot when i read about them. i also want to find out what's around my area as far as clubs and so forth. The idea of going to one is really appealing to me and so is the idea of being tought how to be a sub....especially by a really hot Dom! Thanks

 

[Monkmanio]

I would love to help, but I live 6,000 miles away!

Good luck - you sound lovely so I am sure you will be fine

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

I wish you the best of luck! Stay safe.

 

[legion1054]

Well first let me welcome you to the world of kink. Yes it is perfectly all right that you have these feelings. Even if your husband does not. Living in your area, there are a many many clubs, dungeons and groups. I would suggest trying to find a local munch. This is where kink minded people who are looking for info and support meet in a vanilla environment, usually a resturaunt to discuss topics of various importance. This is different from a wet munch, where actual play happens. Feel free to pm me if you have questions and do not want them posted here. Once again, welcome.

 

[laurasunshinegal]

hi there! if ever you'd like to chat with another wife/mom, feel free... i sent ya a pm with how to get in touch with me.

good luck with your journey!!