Best Musical

[Todd]

THE LAST SUPPER

THURSDAY NIGHT, THE LAST SUPPER


APOSTLES
Look at all my trials and tribulations
Sinking in a gentle pool of wine
Don’t disturb me now I can see the answers
Till this evening in this morning life is fine
Always hoped that I’d be an apostle
Knew that I would make it if I tried
Then when we retired we can write the gospels
So they’ll still talk about us when we’ve died
JESUS
The end...
Is just a little harder when brought about by friends
For all you care this wine could be my blood
For all you care this bread could be my body
The end!
This is my blood you drink
This is my body you eat
If you would remember me when you eat and drink...
I must be mad thinking I’ll be remembered - yes
I must be out of my head!
Look at your blank faces! My name will mean nothing
Ten minutes after I’m dead!
One of you denies me!
One of you betrays me!
APOSTLES
Not I! Who would? Impossible!
JESUS
Peter will deny me in just a few hours
Three times will deny me and that’s not all I see
One of you here dining,one of my twelve chosen
Will leave to betray me-
JUDAS
Cut out the dramatics!
You know very well who-
JESUS
Why don’t you go do it!
JUDAS
You want me to do it!
JESUS
Hurry they are waiting!
JUDAS
If you knew why I do it!
JESUS
I don’t care why you do it!
JUDAS
To think I admired you
For now I despise you
JESUS
You liar - you Judas
JUDAS
You want me to do it!
What if I just stay here and ruined your ambition
Christ you deserve it!
JESUS
Hurry you fool,hurry and go
Save me your speeches,I don’t want to know-Go!
APOSTLES
Look at all my trials and tribulations
Sinking in a gentle pool of wine
What’s that in the bread it’s gone to my head
Till this morning in this evening life is fine
Always hoped that I’ve an apostle
Knew that I would make it if I tried
Then when we retired we can write the gospels
So they’ll all talk about us when we’ve died
JUDAS
You sad pathetic man-see where you’ve brought us to
Our ideals die around us and all because of you
And now the saddest cut of all-
Someone had to turn you in
Like a common criminal,like a wounded animal
A jaded mandarin
A jaded mandarin
Like a jaded faded mandarin
JESUS
Get out they’re waiting!
They’re waiting for you!
JUDAS
Everytime I look at you I don’t understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You’d have managed better if you had it planned-
APOSTLES
Look at all my trials and tribulations
Sinking in a gentle pool of wine
Don’t disturb me now I can see the answers
Till this evening in this morning life is fine
Always hoped that I’ve an apostle
Knew that I would make it if I tried
Then when we retired we can write the gospels
So they’ll still talk about us when we’ve died
JESUS
Will no-one stay awake with me?
Peter? John? James?
Will none of you wait with me?
Peter? John? James?

 

[Andra_Jenny]

I wonder how Todd feels about Les Mis?

 

[Todd]

GETHSEMANE (I ONLY WANT TO SAY)

IN THE GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE


JESUS
I only want to say
If there is a way
Take this cup away from me for I don’t want to taste its poison
Feel it burn me, I have changed I’m not as sure
As when we started
Then I was inspired
Now I’m sad and tired
Listen surely I’ve exceeded expectations
Tried for three years seems like thirty
Could you ask as much from any other man?
But if I die
See the saga through and do the things you ask of me
Let them hate me hit me hurt me nail me to their tree
I’d wanna know I’d wanna know my God
I’d wanna see I’d wanna see my God
Why I should die
Would I be more noticed than I was ever before?
Would the things I’ve said and done matter any more?
I’d have to know I’d have to know my Lord
I’d have to see I’d have to see my Lord
If I die what will be my reward?
I’d have to know I’d have to know my Lord
Why should I die?
Can you show me now that I would not be killed in vain?
Show me just a little of your omnipresent brain
Show me there’s a reason for your wanting me to die
You’re far too keen on where and how and not so hot on why
Alright I’ll die!
Just watch me die!
See how I die!

Then I was inspired
Now I’m sad and tired
After all I’ve tried for three years seems like ninety
Why then am I scared to finish what I started
What you started - I didn’t start it
God thy will is hard
But you hold every card
I will drink your cup of poison, nail me to the cross and break me
Bleed me beat me kill me take me now before I change my mind

 

[Todd]

THE ARREST

JUDAS
There he is!
They’re all asleep - the fools!
JESUS
Judas - must you betray me with a kiss?
PETER
What’s the buzz? Tell me what’s happening?
PETER AND APOSTLES
What’s the buzz? Tell me what’s happening
?
Hang on Lord we’re gonna fight for you
JESUS
Put away your sword
Don’t you know that it’s all over?
It was nice but now it’s gone
Why are you obsessed with fighting?
Stick to fishing from now on
CROWD
Tell me Christ how you feel tonight
Do you plan to put up a fight?
Do you feel that you’ve had the breaks?
What would you say were your big mistakes?
Do you think that you may retire?
Did you think you would get much higher?
How do you view your coming trial?
Have your men proved at all worthwhile?

Come with us to see Caiaphas
You’ll just love the High Priest’s house
You’ll just love seeing Caiaphas
You’ll just die in the High Priest’s house
Come on God this is not like you
Let us know what you’re gonna do
You know what your supporters feel
You’ll escape in the final reel
Tell me Christ how you feel tonight
Do you plan to put up a fight?
Do you feel that you’ve had the breaks?
What would you say were your big mistakes?

Come with us to see Caiaphas
You’ll just love the High Priest’s house
You’ll just love seeing Caiaphas
You’ll just die in the High Priest’s house

Now we have him! Now we have got him!
CAIAPHAS
Jesus you must realise the serious charges facing you
You say you’re the Son of God in all your handouts well is it true?
JESUS
That’s what you say
You say that I am
ANNAS
There you have it gentleman
what more evidence do we need?
Judas thank you for the victim
stay a while and you’ll see it bleed!
CROWD
Now we have him! Now we have got him!
Take him to Pilate!

 

[Andra_Jenny]

I don't think we're going to stop him...

 

[Todd]

PILATE AND CHRIST

FRIDAY


PILATE
Who is this broken man cluttering up my hallway?
Who is this unfortunate?
SOLDIER
Someone Christ,king of the Jews
PILATE
Oh,so this is Jesus Christ,I am really quite surprise
You look so small,not a king at all
We all know that you are news,but are you king?
King of the Jews?
JESUS
That’s what you say
PILATE
What do you mean by that?
That is not an answer
You’re deep in trouble friend
Someone Christ,King of the Jews
How can someone in your state be so cool about his fate?
An amazing thing,This silent king
Since you come from Galilee then you need not come to me
You’re Herod’s race,
You’re Herod’s case
MOB
Ho-ho Sanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna Ho
Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna
Hey JC,JC please explain to me
You had everything where is it now?

 

[Todd]

KING HEROD’S SONG (TRY IT AND SEE)

HEROD
Jesus I am overjoyed to meet you face to face
You’ve been getting quite a name all around the place
Healing cripples raising from the dead
And now I understand you’re God!
At least that’s what you’ve said

So you are the Christ you’re the great Jesus Christ
Prove to me that you’re divine,change my water into wine
That’s all you need do and I’ll know It’s all true
C’mon king of the Jews

Jesus you just won’t believe the hit you’ve made round here
You were all we talk about the wonder of the year
Oh what a pity if it’s all a lie
Still I’m sure that you can rock the cinics if you try
So you are the Christ you’re the great Jesus Christ
Prove to me that you’re no fool walk across
my swimming pool
If you do that for me then I’ll let you go free
C’mon king of the Jews

I only ask things I’d ask any superstar
What is it that you have got that puts you where you are?
Mmh,mmh,I’m waiting,yes I’m a captive fan
I’m dying to be shown that you are not just any man

So if you are the Christ,yes the great Jesus Christ
Feed my household with this bread
You can do it on your head
Or has something gone wrong?
Why do you take so long?
C’mon king of the Jews


Hey!Aren’t you scared of me Christ?
Mr. Wonderful Christ!
You’re a joke you’re not the Lord
You’re nothing but a fraud
Take him away,he’s got nothing to say!
Get out you king of the Jews!Get out of my life!

 

[Andra_Jenny]

At this point

I must simply apologize to the rest of the board.


lol.


Go Todd Go!

 

[Todd]

JUDAS’ DEATH

JUDAS
My God! I saw him he looked three-quarters dead!
And he was so bad I had to turn my head
You beat him so bad that he was bent an d lame
And I know who everybody’s gonna blame
I don’t believe he knows I acted for our good
I’d save him all this suffering if I could
Don’t believe our good...Save him...If I could
ANNAS
Cut the confessions forget the excuses
I don’t understand why you’re feel with remorse
All that you said has come true with a vengeance
The mob turn against him-you backed the right horse
CAIAPHAS
What you have done will be the saving of Israel
You’ll be remembered forever for this
And not only that you’ve been paid for your efforts
Pretty good wages for one little kiss
JUDAS
Christ! I know you can hear me but I only did
what you wanted me to
Christ! I’d sell out the nation
For I have been saddled with the murder of you
I have been spattered with innocent blood
I shall be dragged through the slime and the mud
I have been spattered with innocent blood
I shall be dragged through the slime and the mud!


I don’t know how to love him
I don’t know why he moves me
He’s a man,he’s just a man
He’s not a king,he’s just the same
As anyone I know
He scares me so
When he’s cold and dead will he let me be?
Does he love,does he love me too?
Does he care for me?


My mind is in darkness now
My God I am sick
I’ve been used and you knew all the time
God I’ll never know,Why you chose me for your crime
Your foul bloody crime
You have murder me!
You have murder me!
CHOIR
Poor old Judas
So long Judas

 

[Todd]

TRIAL BEFORE PILATE

(INCLUDING 39 SLASHES)


PILATE
And so the king is once again my guest
And why is this was Herod unimpressed?
CAIAPHAS
We turn to Rome to sentence Nazareth
We have no law to put a man to death
We need him crucified-it’s all you have to do
We need him crucified-it’s all you have to do
PILATE
Talk to me Jesus Christ you have been brought here
manacled beaten by your own people
Do you have the first idea why you deserve it?
Listen king of the Jews
Where is your kingdom?
Look at me am I a jew?
JESUS
I have got no kingdom in this world I’m
Through,through,through
MOB
Talk to me Jesus Christ
JESUS
There may be a kingdom for me somewhere
If I only knew
PILATE
Then you’re a king
JESUS
It’s you who say I am
I look for truth and find that I get dammed
PILATE
But what is truth?
Is truth unchanging law?
We both have truths,are mine the same as yours?
MOB
Crucify him!
PILATE
What do you mean?
You’d crucify your king?
MOB
We have no king but Caesar!
PILATE
He’s done no wrong no not the slightest thing
MOB
We have no king but Caesar,Crucify him!
PILATE
I see no reason I find no evil
This man is harmless so why does he upset you?
He’s just misguided - thinks he’s important
But to keep you vultures happy I shall flog him
MOB
Crucify him!
(Thirty nine lashes)
PILATE
Where are you from Jesus?
What do you want Jesus? Tell me
You’ve got to be careful - you could be dead soon - could well be
Why do you not speak when I have your life in my hands?
How can you stay quiet? I don’t believe you understand
JESUS
You have nothing in your hands
Any power you have comes to you from far beyond
Everything is fixed and you can’t change it
PILATE
You’re a fool Jesus Christ - how can I help you?
MOB
Pilate! Crucify him!
Remember Caesar - you have a duty
To keep the peace so crucify him!
Remember Caesar - you’ll be demoted, you’ll be deported
Crucify him!
PILATE
Don’t let me stop your great self - destruction
Die if you want to you misguided martyr
I wash my hands of your demolition
Die if you want to you innocent puppet!

 

[Todd]

SUPERSTAR

VOICE OF JUDAS
Everytime I look at you don´t understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You’d have managed better if you’d had it planned
Why’d you choose such a backward time and such a strange land?
If you’d come today you would have reached a whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication
Don’t you get me wrong - I only want to know
CHOIR
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar
Do you think you’re what they say you are?
VOICE OF JUDAS
Tell me what you think about your friends at the top
Who’d you think besides yourself’s the pick of the crop?
Buddha was he where it’s at? Is he where you are?
Could Mahomet move a mountain or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that?
Was that a mistake or
Did you know you messy death would be a record - breaker?
Don’t you get me wrong - I only want to know
CHOIR
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrified?
Jesus Christ Superstar
Do you think you’re what they say you are?

THE CRUCIFIXION


THE CRUCIFIXION

JESUS
God forgive them - they don’t know what they’re doing
Who is my mother? Where is my mother?
My God My God why have you forgotten me?
I am thirsty
It is finished
Farther into your hands I commend my spirit

CRUCIFIXION

JONH NINETEEN FORTY-ONE
(INSTRUMENTAL)

 

[Andra_Jenny]

You know that show where the heads are in front of the movie screen, you know, the "B" movies...


"This work is highly derivative of the hair band genre, bring to mind such bans as poison and Styx, but lacks real passion and drive such as exhibited in Cats, which I should have picked. That way Lavy & Co. would have had something to respond to."

 

[Andra_Jenny]

THE END

This has been a Todd/A_J production.

Of course it started out to be an A_J/Todd production, but somebody got all riteous and took over!

 

[Todd]

Done. I sorry I got carried away.

I always likeed this even before I was a evil xtian bent on mrally corrupting north america to my will. I was an atheist when I first heard it and loved the sound of it.

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Yes, I changed my mind.

My favorite musical is now


"Rocky Horror Picture Show."

 

[Bob Peale]

How Did...

... Hair not make this line up? I mean, there's the toe tapping:

Black Boys

Black boys are delicious
Chocolate flavored love
Licorice lips like candy
Keep my cocoa handy
I have such a sweet tooth
When it comes to love

Once I tried a diet
Of quiet, rest, no sweets
But I went nearly crazy
And I went clearly crazy
Because I really craved for
My chocolate flavored treats

Black boys are nutritious
Black boys fill me up
Black boys are so damn yummy
They satisfy my tummy
I have such a sweet tooth
When it comes to love
Black black black black black black black black
Black boys


Or the equally pithy:

White Boys

White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk

White boys give me goose bumps
White boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder
That's the touch that kills

Well, my momma calls 'em lilies
I call 'em Piccadillies
My daddy warns me stay away
I say come on out and play

White boys are so groovy
White boys are so tough
Every time that they're near me
I just can't get enough

White boys are so pretty
White boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy
Drive me indiscreet

White boys are so sexy
Legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers
Love the love machine

My brother calls 'em rubble
That's my kind of trouble
My daddy warns me "no no no"
But I say "White boys go go go"

White boys are so lovely
Beautiful as girls
I love to run my fingers
And toes through all their curls

Give me a tall
A lean
A sexy
A sweet
A pretty
A juicy
White boy

Black boys!
White boys!
Black boys!
White boys!

Mixed media!


and the all time classic...

Sodomy/"Holy Orgy"

Sodomy
Fellatio
Cunnilingus
Pederasty

Father, why do these words sound so nasty?

Masturbation
Can be fun
Join the holy orgy
Kama Sutra
Everyone!

 

[stargazer76]

I swear...

You leave a thread for 5 minutes, and look what happens....

I gotta say, I love JCS, too, but I'm not THAT maniacal about it. *whispering under her breath* "and Les Mis is still better"....

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Long as I can grow it my hair!


Oh, I suppose at this point it is mandetory to mention Tommy to complete this thing!

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Do you hear the people sing,
Singing a song of angry men,
It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again...

 

[stargazer76]

Will you join in our parade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere beyond the barricade,
Is there a world you long to see?

 

[Andra_Jenny]

oh man

I've got goosebumps!


Gonna go out in the yard and march and sing for a while!

 

[Andra_Jenny]

My wife's lament

Master of the house. Isn't worth my spit.
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong shit.
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire,
Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there...

Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master's ass!
Everybody raise a glass
To the Master of the House!

 

[curvacious]

Miss Saigon

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Not particuarily.

 

[Guest]