Best Pick-up Line

[kurrginatorX]

Okay, so I want to know what the best pick-up line you have ever used is, best = almost always got your target to go out with you, or have sex with you. Mine is:

"Now that's the kind of ass I'd like to stare at while in a sixty-nine."

I had about 98% success with it. It never mattered what the woman's ass looked like as all asses blossom out when a woman is on her hands and knees.

 

[dolf]

That's actually disgusting. I'd probably vomit on a man using that "line”. It lacks wit, charm, insight or interest. I can only imagine your "targets" are blind drunk.

 

[Que]

"...all asses blossom out..."



Do you mean prolapse?

On the numbers, assuming there were no midgets in the mix, for you to arrive at a figure of 98% means that you have had carnal relations with at least 49 women. Could you load that into a spreadsheet for our review?

 

[raindancer]

Terrible line.

 

[IG_88]

Holy shit that's bad.
Everyone knows "it's not gonna suck itself" is the best pickup line anyway.

 

[Kirkrapine]

"I think I left my Medal of Honor around here somewhere . . ."

 

[pointless]

wait, that's not how that works at all. i mean, are you watching her from a distance as she 69's someone else?

 

[kurrginatorX]

"...all asses blossom out..."



Do you mean prolapse?

On the numbers, assuming there were no midgets in the mix, for you to arrive at a figure of 98% means that you have had carnal relations with at least 49 women. Could you load that into a spreadsheet for our review?

A: Arch the back, it blossoms.

B: 375 women, to be exact, but seriously used that line on about 30-35 only.

 

[LupusDei]

"I'm sorry miss, I should check something..." *starts to unbutton her blouse*

 

[pointless]

jesus fucking christ.

 

[Sean]

A: Arch the back, it blossoms.

B: 375 women, to be exact, but seriously used that line on about 30-35 only.

I'm thinking that you're about fourteen years old and you've never seen a naked woman that wasn't made of pixels.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

A: Arch the back, it blossoms.

B: 375 women, to be exact, but seriously used that line on about 30-35 only.

30 x .98 = 29.4


35 x .98 = 34.3.


Ninety eight percent? Those decimal points are a bitch. Dots to the In(tellectual) Crowd.


I know, maffs be hard . . . .

 

[dolf]

It might work if you were parked in the red light district and waving a fistful of 20s out the window, but even then I doubt it would be more than a 25% success rate.

 

[Notcastor]

If they're in a group of 3 or more women, you just chat up the least attractive one.

The most attractive one will make a pass at you.

No need for pickup lines.

If she's by herself, I say Hi, my name is Alex and offer my hand.

Works like a charm. I can tell her my real name later.

 

[IG_88]

If they're in a group of 3 or more women, you just chat up the least attractive one.

The most attractive one will make a pass at you.

No need for pickup lines.

This actually works. The hot ones HATE it when a dude hits on the ugly one in the group. They'll practically drop to their knees and blow you right there. For as complicated as women can be, they're also pretty simple to figure out sometimes.

 

[Notcastor]

This actually works. The hot ones HATE it when a dude hits on the ugly one in the group. They'll practically drop to their knees and blow you right there. For as complicated as women can be, they're also pretty simple to figure out sometimes.

Works like a charm. It shows you have compassion, and the girls already know before you say anything which one you're getting.

Truth is the women make all those decisions; we collectively pretend the man actually controls the dance, but that's a lie.

All any man has to do is shut up and listen and watch her moves and look in her eyes.

 

[kurrginatorX]

I'm thinking that you're about fourteen years old and you've never seen a naked woman that wasn't made of pixels.

Actually I'm 53 and have had more pussy than you've ever jerked off to.

 

[Notcastor]

That's a bold assertion; seeeen has jerked off to a LOT of pussy.

He can't give you the exact number though.

Those records were on the laptop one of his previous lit fiancee's took.

 

[dolf]

What a tit

 

[Comshaw]

Okay, so I want to know what the best pick-up line you have ever used is, best = almost always got your target to go out with you, or have sex with you. Mine is:

"Now that's the kind of ass I'd like to stare at while in a sixty-nine."

I had about 98% success with it. It never mattered what the woman's ass looked like as all asses blossom out when a woman is on her hands and knees.

A friend of mine had a 100% effective line. It was simple, direct and worked every damned time.

It worked like this: He'd pick out the prettiest, most athletic girl he could find in the bar, walk up and ask,"Hey cunt, wanna fuck?"

It worked every time! Of course he was into BDSM and getting the shit slapped out of him was what he was after....but still it worked.

Unless I miss my guess, it sounds like you might be in the same category.


Comshaw

 

[InsightRiot]

"I think I left my Medal of Honor around here somewhere . . ."

I don't understand this post.

 

[Bottomlover]

A friend of mine had a 100% effective line. It was simple, direct and worked every damned time.

It worked like this: He'd pick out the prettiest, most athletic girl he could find in the bar, walk up and ask,"Hey cunt, wanna fuck?"

It worked every time! Of course he was into BDSM and getting the shit slapped out of him was what he was after....but still it worked.

Unless I miss my guess, it sounds like you might be in the same category.


Comshaw

I just sit in a corner and lick my eyebrows.

 

[RobDownSouth]

"...all asses blossom out..."



Do you mean prolapse?

On the numbers, assuming there were no midgets in the mix, for you to arrive at a figure of 98% means that you have had carnal relations with at least 49 women. Could you load that into a spreadsheet for our review?

STOP TEH PRESSES!!!!​

Que actually made a funny!

#SomewhereASealIsBreaking

 

[RocketLauncher]

Wow, you guys suck at this.
I had this one used on me a couple of weeks ago while I was out walking:
"You know you're breaking the law, right?"
Insert appropriate "Wot?!" response.
"It's against the law for a pretty girl to walk alone without a dog."
Laughing, I responded, " And I suppose you're offering your services?"
We ended up chatting until we had to part ways.
Humour always gets the girl.

 

[dolf]

I can honestly say, I've never shagged a guy who used a line. They're a crutch for men who can't just engage me in conversation, and if they can't do that then I doubt they could do much else.