Bisexual and/or bicurious in Kansas

[none2_none2]

You are very fortunate. I miss the touching and kissing the most of all. I miss sex, too, but to me that isn't the most important thing. I find frotting very hot, and love it. It is also much safer. I had gay sex with my best friend when we were 15, and we did it together for many years. Then we both moved, and now we chat by e-mail a lot. He never mentions it. He was screwing a lot of girls, but the only guy was me. I, on the other hand was screwing as many guys as I could. I didn't learn oral until much later. I have been married twice, both for convenience. The second one went through the change about 10 years ago, and I have looked for a guy since. I made a friend, and we tried a few times, but he can't stay hard so I am still looking.

Don't be too hard on your friend with the ED problem. I can tell you it is hell to see a handsome man that you would do anything to be inside him, but you cannot because as soon as you try the damn equipment gets like a wet noodle. Note, The problems I have had with ED pills is that one time maybe 8 years ago, I was so desperate to be inside my guy that I took a whole pill My face got flush and it is also when I began to have ringing in my ear -- tinnitus. I only have one good ear, so I fear I would be trading great erections to becoming deaf and thus a burden to my wonderful guy.

I know some see toping a man as selfish, but I never felt so complete as when I am inside a guy. I'd rather have lots of time inside someone I care about than actually get off. I wish I was hung, and hard, and could simply fall asleep inside a guy all snuggled up together.

In addition to ED, I now think I'm getting arthritics in my right hip. I used to love to spoon my guy and like just to rest my soft cock in his hairy crack. Now I can only take it for so long before my hip hurts me. So now there is more butt to butt. I still enjoy feeling his hairy behind against mine (sadly I'm not very hairy). I told him to never think that I'm turning my back on him because I don't love him. It just gets to where it hurts after a while.

I do count my blessings what I have. I don't deserve my partner, and sometimes I get down and think he would be better with someone with fewer health problems. Still he stick with me through thick and thin which only makes me care that much deeper for him. We have our ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade him for anybody else. The true happiness in life isn't so much about cock/ass cock/pussy cock/mouth as it is having someone who gives a damn caring day in and out. I would gladly want to live a long life even if my sex equipment is lousy now, than to have a great hardon and no one who really loves me. Sex can get old, love never does.

That is why I just cannot understand all these bi men who get on Lit and who are of the type: Love-cock-not-men. As I have stated many times, without the heart attached to that cock/ass/whatever-body-part-you-crave, you might as well simply play with a lifeless dildo if no heart is involved.

 

[Jaime1493]

He told me recently he was screwing a younger woman, he had no problem getting and staying hard, or cumming in her. He does with me, and doesn't show any interest n sex with me. I am bi, but more drawn to guys. He says he is bi, but can't perform with me. I don't blame him, I just wish he had told me in the beginning.

 

[Jaime1493]

I lost two more friends to covid, and another is in icu. They are trying to wean him off of the ventilator. I think maybe he will make it. I go out for necessary things, always wear a mask. I do have trouble remembering it sometimes, so maybe some of the maskless people just forgot? I am furious at our government, everything they touch turns to crap. I am in the group to be vaccinated second, but instead of the 30 million that are supposed to have been vaccinated, it is less than 1.5 million. I have a friend I talk to everyday on the phone. I told him I think I will die before getting vaccinated.I love church music too. When I was a soprano I used to sing in the choir and sang solos in church. I loved our church and especially our minister. Now the church has closed, all the people I knew are dead. I haven't been to church after my parents died. I still talk to HIM everyday. Take good care of yourself.

 

[none2_none2]

My partner's parents are in their late 70's. I hope they get their shots soon. His mom has had a lot of health issues for the last 2.5 years, and his dad has plenty of his own health issues. He uses the VA clinics. It has been so long since he has seen his parents. They are wonderful people.

I also hope it isn't too long before my partner and I can get ours. I'm more wanting it for my partner even thought I'm at greater risk -- because he also hasn't seen his grandkids in so long. His son's family is in Colorado which has had COVID worse than Kansas. His son's kids are so affectionate with him. To be honest, his son is great with him too. I want him to be as happy as he can be because I love my partner. Though my ED makes me undesirable in the bed, I just love laying next to him. Sometimes in the morning I just love to look look at him, listen to his breathing, and feel the warmth of his skin (or put my body near any cold spots he has (he is bad about squirming during the night and making the blanket uncover him. He is like sleeping with a live teddy bear. I hope we have many more years together. We have our ups and downs like any partnership has, but I wouldn't trade him and our time together for anything. Theoretically, I'm not turned off by women so I am not opposed to relating to bisexuality, but the hunger for a man's love and body is so much stronger. Funny thing is I am not really attracted to cock that much. I just love the man it is attached to. I always thought that if I could have married and have kids, I would have gone that route. However, I honestly know I would have been a lousy father for any son because when he came of age and needed to spread his wings on his own, I would have been so depressed. I had no desire to sexually mess with such a son, I would have just been so lonely when it was time for him to move on.

I do really miss singing. I did a lot of singing before my voice changed, but then I continued it most of my life. I miss church singing now. It just isn't the same trying to sing in the shower or such. The hypocrisy you talk about, I feel it more on people who throw out the word "Christian" outside of church walls -- like in politics or social media like facebook. One day they will pay for their mean ways as they always say that karma will come back to bite you in the butt.

Well time to to lay back down next to my guy. I was fortunate that he had 3 days off in a row, so through this snow, he was around the house. Today he has to go back to work. I pretty much stay home unless I need to go to the grocery store. Having been intubated for almost 2 weeks 2 years ago when I had West Nile, I don't want to risk getting COVID. I was sedated, so I don't remember that part, but it took me a long time to get back to normal. These people who deny COVID, or want their freedom too not wear masks, etc are stupid, EVIL people so I'm just as glad to stay home to avoid such people as I am to avoid the virus itself.

 

[Jaime1493]

Since we last wrote, 4 more friends have died, and another is on a ventilator so he may not make it either. I am depressed and furious with the government for not getting people vaccinated. I am in the third group. I spent half a day yesterday calling anyone I was referred to. None of them knew anything. I think I will die before getting it. Have you been able to get the shot? It is typical government run around, no one knows anything. It was a stupid knee jerk reaction to buy vaccine that has to be stored at 90 below zero. I'm done venting, hope you are doing ok.

 

[none2_none2]

Jamie1493,
You shouldn't give up because of the virus. You've made it this far. You just have to keep up your guard a bit longer. I wouldn't be too angry at the government. ANY large institution is fraught with problems. The fact that there are multiple vaccinations (3 here in the US) in less than a year from the beginning is record speed! (In all fairness, COVID-19 is a coronavirus, and pharmaceuticals had worked earlier on another caronavirus, so they weren't starting completely from scratch.) As to the temperature, note that only one has to be kept so very cold:

1. Pfizer (BNT162b2 vaccine) -- (-94 °F). Yes that is crazy cold, but at least they developed something.

2. Moderna (mRNA-1273 vaccine) -- (-13°F to 5 °F). Yes cold, but more like a normal freezer.

3. AstraZeneca (AZD1222 vaccine) -- (36 and 46 °F). That one isn't a problem at all to keep refrigerated.

I do hope I get #3 when it is my turn as I would be less concerned about it not being kept at temperature between the manufacturer's factory and my arm.

As to the slowness and government, realize that we have a fool still in the White House who is more concerned about keeping power than the protection of Americans. His worshipers are just as bad if not worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a liberal - I am a MODERATE. I just find that most of the Republican party has gone evil and crazy. The focus should be put back on doing what is Best for America, and not all this power grabbing focus that they have.

I know it isn't easy to stay apart from others as humans by nature are social by instinct. I find my animals a comfort. I know they aren't human, but I do think at some level they understand love. My little dog used to sleep in bed, but it is hard for her to jump up. The cat comes up and loves to sleep at my feet, or if I'm on my side on top of my side. They cannot talk and tell you what they feel, but the fact that she wants to be close to me makes me feel that I'm not alone.

Though I'm in higher risk with my weight, my diabetes, my heart stuff, my sleep apnea, etc, I just turned 61 in Dec. So I'm a senior, but many older seniors are at higher risk. I was raised by my grandma, and most of her friends were of her age. She would be 116 this Feb if she could have lived that long. My point being is that I don't want any elders to die from something that is preventable, so I will wait my turn.

Hang in there and know you CAN survive the bumbling of this large institution we call our government as they try to get these vaccinations out.

Finally, I know I'm at an advantage in that I have someone to cuddle and kiss on a daily basis. Just that one day in the hospital in early Dec without him, I was reminded just how much I'm blessed. I'm sure you will find someone eventually. You just have to be patient. I don't relate to most of the guys who get onto Literotica who obsess with cock. Yes, I may obsess with a man's ass, but it means NOTHING without the caring of the man attached to it. To have a man tell you he loves you, is proud of you, loves spending time with you, misses you when you aren't around. That is the stuff worth living for. I am so blessed, and I hope my partner is around for many more years.

 

[Jaime1493]

How are you doing? I wrote to you telling you of my hobbies and interests, and I asked about your's. Did you get that message? I thought we could start getting to know one another before we meet. How do you feel about it?

 

[Jaime1493]

I have a great black lab, and two cats that keep me company all day. I am glad my wife still works because when she is home for a day off, we mostly fight. It has been decades since we had sex. That is why I am lonely, just to be touched, kissed. I love kissing and she can't kiss worth shit. She already has low feelings of self worth. If you criticize her she goes bananas. So I thank her for every thing and try not to be critical. I love her, and she is very good to me. We have been married almost 40 years. I envy you, because you have someone to love that reciprocates. My friend in icu is on ventilator at 100%, looking like he won't make it either. Chatting to you has been a real pleasure, because you understand.

 

[none2_none2]

I guess I understand these things only because I "feel" a lot. i've been on my farm now for almost 13 years. Though I was a rural person, I actually never had lived on a farm. As much as I like rural life, I HATE having to deal with death in any form. I can get sick when I lose a farm animal -- not just pets. That is why when we moved to the country, I told my partner that I could not deal with raising animals whose purpose was to raise to eat. (No I'm not a vegan, I just don't have the heart to kill -- unless it is a predictor trying to kill my animals -- like raccoons. I also don't like snakes when I see them eat eggs.)

Anyway, I have two labs (young blond male, elderly black female) and a small dog (black female with some brown) who is a dachshund mix. We had an older black lab male, but he died about 4 years ago. I know that I will eventually loose the females as they are up in age too. I know it will make me sick, but I have to remember the good times to realize it was better that they were in my life than not. I also have a grey cat. She loves to lay on top of me when we are in bed, which is a good comfort. So I can get very down when something I care about (human or animal) dies. I love living things, and I hate to have their life end.

Note, realize that I reach out to you because you seem in pain. I am not trying to come on to you or play games with you. I have a partner who I am faithful 100%. Though that doesn't mean much I suppose since I cannot really get it up for him -- let alone someone else if had a cheater's kind of heart -- which I do not.

I never got anything about your hobbies or interests. Perhaps you are confusing me with someone else. Note, I just hope you haven't thought I was leading you on. We are just talking. Many gays including couples love to have open relationships. I never could understand that concept. My cock is connected to my heart (even though it doesn't work). I never understood how a guy could tell someone he love them, and then go behind their back. That would be like being stabbed in the back.

I do hope my guy outlives me, because I would be lost if he wasn't here. He would be sad to loose me, but he has kids, and grandkids. He has a nicer personality than me, so if he was really lonely, he could find someone else. I could not as he is my angel on earth. NOTE: I have no children as when I was young, I thought about getting married, but found out I was sterile. I saw no reason to get married if there were not going to be any offspring. That is my biggest regret in life, but I have no control over. Perhaps that is why I can get so attached to animals.

 

[Blue_Duck]

Hi guys.

I’m a bi married guy in NE KS.

Sorry to hear of everyone’s troubles.

Hopefully this terrible virus passes soon.

 

[Jaime1493]

Yes, I was confusing you with the guy that wants to meet me for lunch. I was trying to get to know him better b 4 we met, but now he won't answer me. I think he is like many of the others, phonies. I do not think you are anything but monogamous, which is what I am when with someone. I collect music, movies, coins, knives ( primarily bowie's ). I have a tooth that is hurting, so I will have to call the oral surgeon Monday. I have a black lab and two cats. We live on about 8.5 acres. I love the country, i hate towns and cities. I don't even like to go shopping because of all the damn people, and traffic. I enjoy chatting with you, I think because there is no pressure about sex, but you are kind and understanding, as well. My wife has gone to spend her day off helping our friend clean her house. She says she gets paid for doing it. I am so used to being alone, it is actually a good thing. I lost another friend, the one who was on the ventilator. I am scared of this virus, it reminds me of the end times, and it may be that happening now. Trump was a great disappointment to me. We voted for him, but he did a pitiful job. Later, hope you are doing alright.

 

[Jaime1493]

Thank you for caring, not many seem to.

 

[Jaime1493]

How large is your farm? All the land on two sides of us belonged to my neighbor, who passed away. It was bought by a very nice young couple, who live there now. They raise cattle and just had their first baby, who is a doll. We are getting along well. I think he has over 150 acres.

 

[Jaime1493]

Great photo, you have a great body.

 

[scjpmc1971]

Hello,

I love to dress and be fem. I'm also from Kansas. Someone to dress for on a regular basis would be perfect with me.

I would love to meet you
Let me know