Bitchy Noem

[RobDownSouth]

Yes, Hunter, sleeping with his niece...: just sayin'.

Gunny Shitpants immediately pivots to the ole standy, "Butt Hunter's Laptop"!

 

[MajorRewrite]

Ranchers put down their animals all the time.

Do ranchers put down puppies all the time?

How many puppies have you shot?

 

[jaF0]

Do ranchers put down puppies all the time?

Yeah, they kinda do. Kittens too.

 

[schism666]

that sweet subtle shade.

 

[schism666]

Ranchers put down their animals all the time.

was it a ranch dog ranchin' on her ranch?

you make the excuses for the worst people.

 

[dmallord]

Biden's dog bit numerous FBI agents and other White House staff, so Commander had to be dealt with accordingly. Biden sent the two-year-old energetic German shepherd to his Delaware home. Safe and alive and out of harm's way, Commander is now in a more stable environment.

Noem takes an eighteen-month-old dog pheasant hunting, where it romps all over. Immediately afterward, she piles him into her pickup and goes to a relative's farm. Unrestrained, it gets out of the truck amidst a yard full of chickens and does what a dog does—chases and kills some of them—like the pheasant hunt episode, he was a bad dog.

'Untrainable,' Noem coldly declares, taking it out to a gravel pit and ending the puppy's life. No sense of remorse, her fellow Republicans feel. She even goes on to include this heartless act in her autobiography. What does that say about her moral compass?

I've never seen a dog trained in one trip out on a hunt.

Maybe Noem should get the VP slot under Trump anyway; if she fails, Trump could dispatch her in his official capacity and claim immunity for that since she wasn't very good at her job.

 

[YDB95]

Trump reportedly does not like dogs...this just might bump her up on the list. But my money is still on Rep. Stefanik.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Maybe Noem should get the VP slot under Trump anyway; if she fails, Trump could dispatch her in his official capacity and claim immunity for that since she wasn't very good at her job.

Every applicant to be The Donald’s running mate must sign a waiver agreeing to be lynched if/when The Donald decides it’s necessary.

 

[KeithD]

No sense of remorse, her fellow Republicans feel. She even goes on to include this heartless act in her autobiography. What does that say about her moral compass?

It certainly means she's dumb as shit to willingly reveal it.

 

[Rightguide]

Do ranchers put down puppies all the time?

How many puppies have you shot?

As many as you have, dipshit.

 

[snailspace]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GMLRlKAX0AA3YAJ?format=jpg&name=small

 

[Fuzzy1975]

As many as you have, dipshit.

Right, you just use a burlap sack filled with Puppies and rocks, n toss em in the lake.

 

[jaF0]

It certainly means she's dumb as shit to willingly reveal it.

I think she's proud of it in a rural right of passage kind of way.

 

[KeithD]

I think she's proud of it in a rural right of passage kind of way.

Right. I have relatives that put their animals down this way. But always as an "in pain" end of life act.

 

[jomar]

Right. I have relatives that put their animals down this way. But always as an "in pain" end of life act.

Yes. If she gets the nod Dems will have a field day for campaign ads.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Gov Kristi Noem has announced “Shoot a Puppy Day” in South Dakota. On May 9th children age 4 to 12 are invited to come to the State House lawn to shoot the puppy of their choice.

The first annual Shoot a Puppy Day is sponsored by the NRA. Guns will be available for those unfortunate children whose parents are not ammosexual.

Each child will receive an “I shot a puppy” t-shirt courtesy of the Trump for President 2024 campaign.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Let’s all pitch in and buy Krazy Kristi a book:

Don’t Shoot the Dog!

It’s 202 pages but I can summarize it: Are you fucking nuts? Don’t shoot the dog.

 

[butters]

please, please, please read the entire article—"a memo from south dakota governor kristi noem's pr team regarding her dog murdering". it's priceless!
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opin...p&cvid=a2e98f77e27e411596637c7b3e9c12be&ei=19

final paras:

We realize the fact that your upcoming book is titled “No Going Back” is unfortunately ironic, given that virtually everyone in America now thinks you’re a monster. And we realize that the line “I guess if I were a better politician I wouldn’t tell the story here” coming right after the whole dog/goat murder bit in the book seems … well, not really great.
But not to worry. Today we’re going to start calling a lot of things “woke” and gin up some “antifa” sightings, which should calm things down for you.

Again, our deepest apologies for not stopping you from bragging about being a dog assassin. It won’t happen again. Because we are all quitting after today.


Your career is clearly over.

— Your loyal public relations team

 

[KeithD]

This reminds me of something I heard the author John Grisham say at a book festival. He was asked if he regretted anything he'd written in a book. He quickly came back with a yes, saying that he'd killed the family dog in his first book, A Time to Kill, and that he strongly suggested that no one writing a novel do that if they didn't want to be inundated with hate mail.

 

[MajorRewrite]

please, please, please read the entire article—"a memo from south dakota governor kristi noem's pr team regarding her dog murdering". it's priceless!
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opin...p&cvid=a2e98f77e27e411596637c7b3e9c12be&ei=19

final paras:

She may have actually accomplished this:

maybe even make some inroads with independent sociopaths and future serial killers

 

[RobDownSouth]

please, please, please read the entire article—"a memo from south dakota governor kristi noem's pr team regarding her dog murdering". it's priceless!
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opin...p&cvid=a2e98f77e27e411596637c7b3e9c12be&ei=19

final paras:

Sweet Babby Jesus, the US Today Editorial team just single-handedly destroyed Governor Kristi Noem's national political ambitions.

Whoever wrote that editorial should be nominated for the Pulitzer Prize in Editorial Commentary.

 

[Bn2f]

 

[schism666]

 

[dmallord]

Four Lit pages ... and no one has called out for a moment of silence. Let's do that. Reflect for a moment on the dearly departed: Cricket Noem, 18 months, and Billy Noem, age unknown, presumably old though.

Billy? Yes, sadly, the smelly, farty old goat was not given a name before he left our Earthly bounds. I've taken the liberty to give him a name so that he can be properly memorialized: Billy 'Goat' Noam. A rotund and stubborn, flatulent goat with orange-tinged hair who loved to sit in a chair in a solemn courtroom and sleep as his defense team valiantly tried to save his life ... [May have confused Billy with someone else for a moment.]

Noem's children will miss playful and energetic Cricket as they step off the school bus each day. He brought joy to the nine-year-old as he raced to greet her. Sadly, the lass will probably be pining for her best friend on the ranch. Miss him dearly and old Billy, too.

I imagine she'll say grace at dinner tonight, asking her divine merciful savior to forgive her dog-murdering mother and sadistic two-shot goat-killing 'governor' and wannabe vice president.

Poor girl will, in retrospect, grow up to become a Democrat and oversee the National Kennel Association. [Just my prediction.]

Rest in peace, dear Cricket and Billy 'Goat' Noem. May your spirits romp through the meadows, chasing pheasants and chickens and smelling up the fields of clover wherever you roam.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Rest in peace, dear Cricket and Billy 'Goat' Noem. May your spirits romp through the meadows, chasing pheasants and chickens and smelling up the fields of clover wherever you roam.

A beautiful eulogy. Cricket and Billy will live in our hearts forever.

Thoughts and prayers go out to Kristi Noem’s political career.