Breathe!

[Sinseria]

Life and Love Denied

Life and Love Denied
https://soundcloud.com/sinseria/life-and-love-denied

Broken dreams
Will never mend

The heart
Will never heal

The mind
Will never be at peace

Is it worth the pain
To know?

When love becomes lies
And your lover is the liar

Following,
Messages from females in plenty

“Is she there?
Is it safe to call?
I miss you!
I’m on cam come see!
Hey I’m in town want to see you
Can you get away, is it safe?
Is your wife there can I call?”

How many others?
Who knows, more than a few
All filled with “I love yous”
And sexual innuendos
Typed in bold as an added slap in the face

Even faced with the facts
Caught in the fucking act
Your tiny hard prick of a cock in hand
Jacking off to some bimbo on web cam
Wonder if it was my wannabe friend
Or just another random whore without end

Presented the case
But you can’t remember
So you can’t defend yourself
Just to wash your shit down
with another fucking lie

“I love you
Forever and no other
I’ve never done that, I don’t remember
We can’t start over and fix things
If you hold the past against me
And I can’t remember
I don’t know what you want from me
You don’t trust me
I want to marry you
I’m not a sexual person.”

Even in the face of truth
To deny with lies
The heart will never heal
As the lies take more than the facts you hide

The replies to your secret lovers
Even after your promises to be better
Sealed your truths
And waived your lies

As follows from you to them

“I love you to!
I’m sad because I’m not snuggling with you deciding if we are going to get up or not
Oh no don’t worry she’s at work I’m all alone
I want to see you sucking my cock and then put my face between your thighs and make you scream
Don’t worry baby I will relieve your stress
I want a picture in that lingerie we picked out together
We should go shopping again
Where it for me tonight and I want that pic now
No I am alone call me
I miss you
I miss you more
Goodnight and I’ll talk to you tomorrow my love
I love you
I love you
I love you”

When does it end?
Fuck the whore
That lies in your wake
In bitter tears of self-hate

A century plus in the making
Turned into a cash cow
Buying your first house
Can’t afford the bills
Don’t worry though
Your neglected girlfriends busting her balls.

You know that whore you tuck in every night
A peck on the forehead as a kiss goodnight
As you make your way back to the “loves” of your life

Forget the one that laid down her life
Walked away from her dreams
Family and friends
To lay her soul at your feet
Offered even to be your sexual slave
That would have gladly served your every fucking need

Yet, you couldn’t spare 2 minutes of your precious life
To lay in her bed for a moment of time
Instead you chose others
Left her alone ten years to cry
In celibacy and loyalty straight
All condoned with another lie

Straight from your lips to mine

“We will hun don’t worry
Just not tonight
I love you
Oh yes everything is ok
I’m happy with you and I love you
Nothing could be better
I am going to spend the rest of my life with you
You and no other
We’re going to get married
Now get some sleep”
With another fuck-less kiss goodnight

The misconceptions of life
Swallowed by the blade
Enough pain and bloodshed from my veins
Can’t mask the stench of your lies
The sugar and spice spewing your lips
Can’t hide the facts
That your words are lies
And trust has died

Perhaps it’s past the time to pack my bags
And say goodbye
Perhaps one of them will help you now
Because my heart can’t live with the lie
I can’t survive on left over’s
Of the life and love denied

 

[Sinseria]

Happiness for Me

Happiness for Me


Midnight moon
In a Tequila mist
A little salt and lime
Sealed with a kiss

Flavor of the soul
Stilled in the burn
Another bottle down
To the wasted turn

There’s no truth
In blinded dreams
Veiled as idiocy

Walked my soul
Collared only to misery
Swaying to the truth
Of my reality

I’m no fairytale
No fantasy of a dream
But I am alive
And will to believe

Truth has come
Fluent as a fantasy
And your lies
Have set me free

I am stronger
Than any broken dream
Poisoning my sincerity

Time to wash away
That dry desert sea
Drowned that worm of destiny
And find happiness for me

 

[Sinseria]

Lusting Ways

Lusting Ways


Trail your fingertips
Through my wanton mind
Gentle with duress
Play for me
My waking darkness

Cimmerian shades dance amongst the fevered walls
In shadowed shades of my pounding heart
Descending with tenebrosity of need

Sensations of nightfall approach
As Hades in the midnight hour
An eclipsing in the twilight
To the stygian darkness devouring my soul

Pleading with caress
To burn on vixen flesh
To a blind man’s desire
In blackness of obscurities
And the illumination of possibility

There is no distance
To the river Styx
Sworn as a solemn oath
Coursing my veins
As the necrosis of infamy
To my lusting ways

 

[Sinseria]

Heh ok the poem makes since but the after post didn't rotfl

 

[Sinseria]

A Dream

A Dream


There was kindness once bestowed
Given and gifted as a saving grace
From the lineage of my bloodline

The face of darkness
Swaying in ancient memories
As demons of the forgotten past

A naive child at best
Broken and beaten
Bearing the serpents seal
Taken from a life of death

But centuries gone
Have taught me well
The mirth of kindness
In the absence of love
Accepted by a fool

A thousand tears I’ve cried
Spilled as the blood of my life
Withering away with time
In the seclusion of my mind, heart and soul

What chosen face will come tonight?
What lie must I live to suffice?
What dreams must I strangle and break
To still in silence my last breath of sleep?

Sorrow cries true
In the mirth of decisions
Now standing in my wake
The guilt of choice
To know what I must do
In the separation of two

No longer the craven child
Locked within myself
No longer the fool of a freak
As the slayer of dreams
To cry in my sleep

For truth has come
Freely as pain to speak
In vengeance to life
As the feral heart bleeds
To the strength of a dream

 

[Sinseria]

Freak of Fate

.....

 

[Sinseria]

The Bleeding Heart

The Bleeding Heart

https://soundcloud.com/sinseria/bleeding-heart


Nine months
On the precipice to wait
The final choice is made

Like virtue
Destiny will have its way
Bound on broken wings
To the devils gates

What is done
Is done
And can never be
Undone

Wrongs made
With love gifted in vain
As deceptions continue to breathe
Like sulfur caressing the flames of eternity

Words cast to oblivion
Cannot portray the dismay
Twelve years of sacrifice
In the solitude of life

There is no beautiful lie
When truth is denied
The bleeding heart

 

[Sinseria]

Winners Award


Born in desires
Of tainted sin
Of passions and power
I’ve kept locked within

Like a burning obsession
It rages beyond control
And takes me in time of fear
To places I do not know

How the body cries
To be caressed
The ravishing need
To be touched

For sweet acceptance
On bended knee
Some damnable dream
that will never be

I beg of guidance
For my sweet bitter sins
Of understanding with endurance
To undo what I have done

For temptations rage
To the likes of which
The gods could not pay for
And my soul
Merely the winner’s award

 

[Sinseria]

Truth and Trust

Truth and Trust


One after another
They came
Like viruses of the veins
They never went away

A collection of harlots
You hand picked
To stand in my stead
Left me alone
As a secret to lay in wait

Years upon years
In the rejection of time and truth
I felt the tears of my heart descend
Through raging fires of bloodshed

The very breath of life
Stolen from desire
Suffocating in isolation
Tethered to the darkness of death

Sworn as the unseen soul
Bridled to the chains of sorrow
On the precipice of trust
Burning as the beacon of denial

Now my heart can see
Through the flames of your eyes
Bleeding to the bitter truth of love
Wed to the falsities of your lies

As they have taken from me
All you have given them
Everything I desired
And the only thing I required

To look upon me
Without disgust
With acceptance and love
Forever bound
In truth and trust

 

[Sinseria]

mia

sorry guys I have been gone a bit ...as real life is well a beep and I will just leave it at that ...I haven't abandoned my writing ...ive just been lost in reality ...will be back as time permits ...as life is changing for me in ways I couldn't ever imagine ...but so is life ...still reading though all you guys wonderful poems you've been putting out ...will be back in no time! ...Thank you all for the PM's and concerns and stuff I am still here !

 

[Sinseria]

Sweet Ecstasy

Sweet Ecstasy



As the fires descend my body
Like molten lava on wounded flesh
My soul cries out for redemption
Upon ruptured sin is spent

In the flare of the night
The mental wills descend
In corrosive cries of ravished need
To the whore in my stead

Begging
Simply
Please

The feel of flesh
The vixen silk soft of skin
Trembling to the tempered caress
The wanton need in such generosity
As gentle fingertips taste of flesh

Bound by displacincy
In the still calm of the night
Parting flesh with a moistened caress
To still the seas of compliancy
Gentle in the depths of emptiness
To the waking need
Burning
In bitter darkness
To sweet ecstasy

 

[Sinseria]

To The Lie

To the Lie


There is a lie
Greater than the human race
And I bear its weight
Like you
And all others
Letting it simply
Define our fate

In dreams we live
In a society of the dead
Neglected in our shackled walls
Our self erected pillars of strength
To hold our reigns

But we deceive our souls
As we dance with desire
On strings of forgotten dreams

Denying the truth
To make our own destiny
A mere excuse
To hide the pain
And the possibility of failure

Forged in the catacombs
Of our timid minds
The existence of life
Bound as lemmings
To the lie

 

[Sinseria]

My Only Home

My Only Home


The light of life
Has been stolen from my skies
Claimed by the betrayal of love and lies

I can no longer see
Through the tears of broken dreams
Of all I wish to believe

No longer bound
To the cathedral in the sky
But the prison in my mind

The bars of steel
My only saving grace
From the shattered soul

The broken heart
Bleeding into life
As my only home

 

[Sinseria]

Die With Me

Die With Me


In a wispy winter night
The snows drifted in an ancient memory

A young child
Bearing the innocents of dreams
Dancing amongst the midnight breeze
With the winter snowflakes descending
On that frosty chilled December night

Enchanting the mind
Like fireflies from the sky
Swirling across the streetlights
Shimmering with the gleam of life

As a blessed gift to guide you
Through the darkness of time
The calm peace of beauty
Flickering in faith
Giving way to light and serenity
In a storm of tranquility
When your world is free
Like a child to dream

Give up not
Your innocence
Or your will to be
But
Live to be free
Don’t die with me

 

[Sinseria]

Ever Love Me

........

 

[Sinseria]

Ever Love Me

Ever Love Me


I’ve seen these eyes
A million times
Eyes that are not my own
As they are empty and alone

Painted my mask of misery
With a happy lie
Of a happy life
To hide the tears I’ve known
And I am but a prisoner
To its pain

The very flesh of my skin
I wish to tear from my bones
Without mercy to what I am
As this body is not my soul
And yet I judge it so

Though I try with all my might
To be as virtue
Sweeter than the golden rose
To mask a broken soul
Shattered by the image
Of my hated self

But reality has finally come home
The price you pay
When you sell your soul
For a love you’ll never know

A fantasy of love
To die with the truth
That someone could possibly
Ever love me

 

[Sinseria]

A Lover's Dream

A Lover's Dream


For nine years
I have lain upon a bed of principle
On the daggers of truth and trust
I swallowed the blade of need
And forgot to dream
As I erased me

I swayed with destiny
Shamed in my celibacy
To the forgotten whore in my stead
To silence the deceptions of my mind
And the sins of my wanton flesh

But there is a heart that beats true
And it surges with the wildest of seas
And I bear the veins of its blood
Freed from its bitter complacency
And it screams of ravished need

The lusting rage to feed
To feel in truth
What love should be
When two become one
In a lover’s dream

 

[Sinseria]

The Broken Soul

The Broken Soul


There comes a time in everyone’s life
When they question that of fate
And the answers standing there in front of their face

What strength will it take
To save the broken soul
When the heart can no longer find its home

What choices must be made
When there is no saving grace
To the life you’ve always known

When the hands of fate
Have taken every ounce of truth
And the lies have taken hold

When love becomes the greatest crime
And your heart can no longer hold
The broken soul

 

[Sinseria]

Broken Dream

Broken Dream


I guess
I should thank you
For the gift you’ve given me
The strength I didn’t know I had
Until your lies set me free
As I am stronger than any
Broken dream

 

[Sinseria]

Alone

Oh gentle tears
I pray thee now
Forgive me
For what I must do

For a century gone
You’ve been my only friend
Through thick and thin
You’ve always been
The blood of my heart and soul
As intimate as sin

We’ve caressed in the darkness
Under the midnight moons
Swaying in the comforts
Of a thousand salted kisses
Warming my alabaster skin
As my only true companion

You’ve stilled the shadows on my walls
The lingering loneliness left by him
Purged the emptiness of my sorrow
And kept my bitter secrets
The truth of every tear I have shed

As my life has been
Bound by your grace
To ease my pain
As my only release
And my only friend

You’ve given me truth
As I have battled life
And given me the strength
Not to die inside
But to live

The tears of time
Will dance again
Only when the memories come
From the lies of love
And the betrayal of him

For now I leave behind
All I have ever known
To find a place
Where I can mend
And stand for once
As I have always been
Alone

 

[Sinseria]

A Bitter Lie

A Bitter Lie



I will crawl until I bleed
Down every corridor of life
Before I bend a knee
To a love that’s never free

May the daggers of stone
Slice flesh and vein
Till I am bled dry
Of this broken lie

Justification
Comes as a one way street
When you pave that road
To your own defeat

When you carve your name
Across the pillar of shame
To hide your disgrace

No answer is sweet
When you swallow
The bitter cherries of deceit

When you lace upon truth
With a willing heart to deny
The golden bars of guilt
Rest at your side

As the truth to find
The nemesis of your dreams
Was always you
In a disbelief
That love could be
A bitter lie

 

[Sinseria]

Truest of Friends

Truest of Friends


Went out on the town tonight
Drank like a dehydrated fish
Separated from the sea
In a goodbye celebration
For me

Through laughter and tears
We spent the night
Like long lost friends
Swaying the hands of time

We laughed and cried
Told our tales of love and lies
As friends we stood
Against the bitter night

And as the music played
We took the stand
Forgetting for but a moment
What time and life brings
As soon I leave for another land

Very few friends
Do I ever keep
But those that stood
With me tonight
Are true to me
And will always be
The truest of friends

 

[Sinseria]

Crying Soul

Crying Soul



On the morrow
When the dawn is day
And the day is dark
On the phasing moons of sorrow
My journey will begin
Anew

The vulgar lies of love
Have fed my broken soul
For over a century fold

And I
As forsaken as destiny
With love and dreams to die
As I alone
Accepted the lies

And as I raise my weary soul
From another sleepless night
Of broken dreams
I find him by my side
Laying there as poison to my mind
He who I wish to despise

Yet the heart of my being
The naïve child inside
Wishes always to forgive
As if I am the condemned
And the condemner
Frayed upon that vital thread of life

I have splayed my soul
A thousand times
Tasted my bitter blood
In the betrayal of love
To every whore in my stead

I’ve bled my heart and soul
From the wounds of my empty bed
Scorned and stained a crimson red
The blood of tears to blind my eyes
From the truths he never said

The desecrated lies of time
Have created a void in space
A veiled existence of me
Where the thread of life is so thin
And the desire to live
Is as broken and forbidden as sin

And as I rise and set
With each passing moon
Now and since
I wait with the truth
Of the love he never gave

For the darkest day
Is now a breath away
Sheered by hope
To find atonement
For my crying soul

 

[Sinseria]

To Feel It So

.......

 

[Sinseria]

Rule of Time

Rule of Time


Stop and pay homage
To the power of your mind
In the veiled mist of the denied
As only the gods of old
Can justify

Look for once
Not as the lies
Of what others may find
In the desperation of weakness
And their hatred defined

But the longing of your heart
Crying of passions
To the frailty of a beast
As passive as the sleeping seas
Lost in a lover’s dream

Timid the eyes of desire
Let them feast on flesh and vein
The creamy sweetness of human skin
Candied and willed
Through love and pain

Still thine eyes
Past the hesitant mind
To the soul of human sin
Pleading beyond sinful desire
To all the love you bear inside

As we are
Like no other
The very flesh and soul
Of love and life
Unsoiled
By the rule of time