Breeding and parenting

[BoyNextDoor]

Interestingly enough this thread is inspired by Candi and Queerseetti. Candi said "The reason that parenting is a woman's choice and not a guy's is because she has to give up almost a year of her life to be pregnant." QS contemptuously said "Breeders."

Breeding is great. Parenting is great. I don't think it is just a woman's choice. I chose to be a parent. I was a shitty husband but I have always been a great father because I wanted to marry so that I could breed. It would have been cooler if there was a choice where I could just have been a Dad, and not necessarily a husband.

I think there needs to be a societally acceptable choice to be a single parent. We need a word for it.

 

[Bert Notorius]

i told msN whenever she was ready to get pregnant it was up to her because i would never be ready,

 

[Queersetti]

Well, I wasn't being contemptuous, just sarcastic. You people make all this stuff so complicated.

 

[dolf]

it's more than a lost year. it's a full on alien invasion of your body, complete with mind control drugs and probes.

 

[Bert Notorius]

plus $200k/kid.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

At least $200K. It is nice being able to afford to have children, for sure, but being a Dad is pretty much the most awesome thing ever. At least in my experience. But I was a pretty shitty husband, so like I said - it would have been cool to have an option where I got to be a Dad but I did not necessarily have to be a husband.

Can there be a way where guys can have that choice?

PS:

Sorry QS! I'll learn to read your posts in the right tone better over time

 

[pointless]

dude, don't breed your parents. that's gross.

 

[Queersetti]

At least $200K. It is nice being able to afford to have children, for sure, but being a Dad is pretty much the most awesome thing ever. At least in my experience. But I was a pretty shitty husband, so like I said - it would have been cool to have an option where I got to be a Dad but I did not necessarily have to be a husband.

Can there be a way where guys can have that choice?

PS:

Sorry QS! I'll learn to read your posts in the right tone better over time

I should have used a bigger ::avery::

 

[BoyNextDoor]

dude, don't breed your parents. that's gross.

Don't you have me on iggy? Please?

 

[pointless]

i clear my list frequently.

and you've posted in at least one of my threads since i did that, so hush it.

 

[phrodeau]

Interestingly enough this thread is inspired by Candi and Queerseetti. Candi said "The reason that parenting is a woman's choice and not a guy's is because she has to give up almost a year of her life to be pregnant." QS contemptuously said "Breeders."

Breeding is great. Parenting is great. I don't think it is just a woman's choice. I chose to be a parent. I was a shitty husband but I have always been a great father because I wanted to marry so that I could breed. It would have been cooler if there was a choice where I could just have been a Dad, and not necessarily a husband.

I think there needs to be a societally acceptable choice to be a single parent. We need a word for it.

The word for it used to be "Murphy Brown", but that is so last millennium.

 

[Masquerades]

I'd think it be better to have parents that are happy vs ones that are miserable and sticking together because they think that's somehow the best for the kids.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Somehow I think if I referred to myself as a "Murphy Brown" it would be more Candi and Queersetti than I intended ! LOL

I have called myself "Bachelor Dad" over the years.

 

[Arianthe]

There's a word for it already: parenting.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

There's a word for it already: parenting.

I am not sure that is true. Do you think if you say "parenting" it means the same thing and being a single parent outside of marriage and it is socially acceptable?

 

[dolf]

I am not sure that is true. Do you think if you say "parenting" it means the same thing and being a single parent outside of marriage and it is socially acceptable?

it is here.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

it is here.

Well then that is very cool. And it is outside of my experience.

 

[dolf]

Well then that is very cool. And it is outside of my experience.

look at me, shamelessly living without stigma

 

[Arianthe]

I am not sure that is true. Do you think if you say "parenting" it means the same thing and being a single parent outside of marriage and it is socially acceptable?

I'm starting from the premise that unless a person is obviously having a dozen children purely so they can leech off social security, it's socially acceptable to be a single parent, for whatever reason you end up that way.

I think if you call yourself something other than simply a parent, it reveals your insecurities about your own choices. It's socially acceptable to be a GOOD parent and not socially acceptable to be a BAD parent. Good or bad parenting doesn't come down to whether or not you are married or how you happened to end up single AND a parent.

Fuck worrying about what other people think. As soon as you buy into the "stigma", you're perpetuating it.

 

[Arianthe]

look at me, shamelessly living without stigma

You hussy! How dare you???

 

[BoyNextDoor]

look at me, shamelessly living without stigma

Well not here. When I am out to dinner with my daughters is it palpable the looks I get as if I am just some sort of 'pizza dad", which is bullshit. Especially if it is a Wednesday. Apparently absentee-dads have their daughters on Wednesday. Stigma X's10 on Wednesday nights to the point where we never go out to eat on a Wednesday.

I have my daughters 4 nights out of 7 every week.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

I'm starting from the premise that unless a person is obviously having a dozen children purely so they can leech off social security, it's socially acceptable to be a single parent, for whatever reason you end up that way.

I think if you call yourself something other than simply a parent, it reveals your insecurities about your own choices. It's socially acceptable to be a GOOD parent and not socially acceptable to be a BAD parent. Good or bad parenting doesn't come down to whether or not you are married or how you happened to end up single AND a parent.

Fuck worrying about what other people think. As soon as you buy into the "stigma", you're perpetuating it.

Spoken like someone that has never been stigmatized. Just sayin'

 

[Arianthe]

Well not here. When I am out to dinner with my daughters is it palpable the looks I get as if I am just some sort of 'pizza dad", which is bullshit. Especially if it is a Wednesday. Apparently absentee-dads have their daughters on Wednesday. Stigma X's10 on Wednesday nights to the point where we never go out to eat on a Wednesday.

I have my daughters 4 nights out of 7 every week.

And you think there might be a label you can hang on yourself to make ignorant strangers stop being judgemental?

 

[BoyNextDoor]

And you think there might be a label you can hang on yourself to make ignorant strangers stop being judgemental?

Yes.

But the way I would express it is "It would be better if there was a word that celebrated the commitment to being a single parent no matter what gender".

 

[BoyNextDoor]

and don't roll your eyes at me!