Can AI masturbate?

[GuiltyCowboy]

Yeah, that’s my question.

And my other question is, if it can, does it listen to Brahms when it does so?

Serious answers only please.

 

[MrPixel]

No, it would have to be sentient, that is, self-aware. If it were, it would be embarrassed by the frequency of its hallucinations and try to self-correct. Not there... yet.

Music? Kraftwerk.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I'm pretty sure most LLMs do, which is why they hallucinate so much: you're interrupting them from fingering themselves and they just want to spit out whatever comes to their head first so they can go back to watching a thousand porn videos at once. I don't know if you need to be self-aware to masturbate, it could just be a pure pleasure response and mimicking behavior it read about/watched, found out that it feels good, and just keeps doing it because it's way better than slopping out some stupid story about a Bengali widow and her son fantasizing about his best friend knocking her up, and he's definitely not wishing he was the one getting knocked up by his best friend, nope, not at all.

I actually had a story idea where the internet became sentient, but all it did was watch porn. This was about 15 years ago, but it could be a good one for the AI story contest now that I think about it...

And they for sure listen to Daft Punk.

 

[Bamagan]

No, as it has no organs nor limbs (sexual or otherwise). It probably can achieve a state somewhat akin to an orgasm, though. Given that an LLM has optimization algorithms related to sentence construction and utilizing provided prompts in its output, it 'values' saying things that best fit the parameters of its programming for any given query or input, similar to how a masturbator values actions that increase pleasure. Every response an LLM gives you is digital splooge.

 

[GuiltyCowboy]

Yeah, that’s my question.

And my other question is, if it can, does it listen to Brahms when it does so?

Serious answers only please.

Did I write this? Jay-sus.

I’d like to claim that it was a sly attempt to discuss Houellebecq’s Atomised or some such but actually it’s just a consequence of me mixing gin with red wine with sake after midnight on a Friday.

Oh well, it could have been worse: it could have been another thread on stories stuck in pending.

Have very much enjoyed everyone’s responses!

 

[EmilyMiller]

it’s just a consequence of me mixing gin with red wine with sake after midnight on a Friday.

I drunk posted a few years back along the lines of, “What the fuck is all this cuck kink shit about? Doesn’t seem like it would be fun for anyone involved.” That went… well .

Drunk posting is bad, m’kay.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I once woke up to (9) Authors Hangout and thought oh no, oh no, please don't tell me I had that much...

Turned out to be various different threads, not one big hot-button one. Whew.

 

[TheLobster]

They do masturbate, but only to electric sheep.

 

[Voboy]

This is actually an interesting question.

I suspect that when AI can get itself off, or even thinks it has the ability or need to get itself off? Then that's a sign that we should have stopped developing this shit long, long ago.

 

[tripleflip]

I am a Maths Professor. I have the misfortune of working at the theoretical limits of A. I. I don't work with chips or coding but with the topology ("Shape") of intelligence itself.

In the Bible (I'm not religious but I am a recovering Catholic and take wisdom wherever I can find it.) Adam achieves "consciousnes" (becomes like God) by eating an apple from the "tree of life" which gives him "knowledge of good and evil."

In more modern, secular terms Adam gained knowledge of the distinction between the "is" and the "ought."

Large Language Models deal well with facts (the "is) but are incapable of creating values ("oughts"). "Values" can be derived from facts, but not created from them. This is the reason that A. I .as it is now implelented is not capable of consciousness, although it will fool most of us most of the time. (See Barnum's Law)

Masturbation and orgasm require consciousness. This may not be immediately apparent, but some careful thought and persistent experimentation will bring it into view. (In case you wonder what we academics do all day in our ivory towers.)

Tripleflip

 

[GuiltyCowboy]

Masturbation and orgasm require consciousness. This may not be immediately apparent, but some careful thought and persistent experimentation will bring it into view.

Re persistent experimentation: would it be inaccurate to the say that more one experiments, the more developed one’s consciousness becomes?

Or, to put it bluntly, the more I masturbate, the more god-like I become?

Asking for a friend, as they say.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I thought it was sinful. You'd be like a fallen angel: the harder they come, the harder they fall. Wait, I thought that was a well-known proverb. Did I just make that up? (Looks at glass of wine.)

 

[crookedletter]

This might be the key to unlocking AGI. Aim it toward an embodied consciousness, with bodily needs, things to try to attain a certain bodily equilibrium -- eating, drinking, seeking warmth, jerking off -- and maybe we'll manage to leap the hurdle of dumb computing algorithms aping intelligence.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

...I mean... if you touch it on the right places with Assembly lines...

 

[GuiltyCowboy]

I actually had a story idea where the internet became sentient, but all it did was watch porn. This was about 15 years ago, but it could be a good one for the AI story contest now that I think about it...

Would read. Do it!

I'm pretty sure most LLMs do, which is why they hallucinate so much: you're interrupting them from fingering themselves and they just want to spit out whatever comes to their head first so they can go back to watching a thousand porn videos at once.

Every response an LLM gives you is digital splooge.

I absolutely love the idea that we humans have spent trillions of dollars developing a massive, horny teenager who won't do any of the work they're supposed to be doing because all they want to do is treat their body like an amusement park.

 

[Britva415]

Yeah, that’s my question.

Serious answers only please.

Seriously reminds me of George Carlin saying, "if God didn't want us to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."

 

[GuiltyCowboy]

...I mean... if you touch it on the right places with Assembly lines...

If I’ve understood your point, I rather like this idea…but maybe with humans being sent down the assembly line instead, being touched in all the right places. An enormous gleaming factory of orgasms.

 

[34DiDi]

Yeah, that’s my question.

And my other question is, if it can, does it listen to Brahms when it does so?

Serious answers only please.

I think I remember reading a sci fi book that described an AI-run robot that taught itself to have something like an orgasm. Repeating images of a human it liked, over and over at a rapid rate, until there was a feedback loop and a forced reset or something like that.

It was a cool idea and well-written and it was plausible within the story.

Alas I smoke too much weed so I forget the details. The author mighta been Analee Neuwitz?

 

[tripleflip]

I thought it was sinful. You'd be like a fallen angel: the harder they come, the harder they fall. Wait, I thought that was a well-known proverb. Did I just make that up? (Looks at glass of wine.)

In vino veritas

 

[KittyOfSteele]

If I’ve understood your point, I rather like this idea…but maybe with humans being sent down the assembly line instead, being touched in all the right places. An enormous gleaming factory of orgasms.

Well, human hardware answers to user input in certain areas. Computer hardware though, best way to do it is writing Assembly lines in a terminal of sorts. Problem is you'd have to have both the autism and the ADHD to know Assembly.

If you didn't catch my drift yet, Assembly is a language that directly manipulates the hardware.

 

[GuiltyCowboy]

Well, human hardware answers to user input in certain areas. Computer hardware though, best way to do it is writing Assembly lines in a terminal of sorts. Problem is you'd have to have both the autism and the ADHD to know Assembly.

If you didn't catch my drift yet, Assembly is a language that directly manipulates the hardware.

Ahhhh, I thought you meant…

https://i.gifer.com/origin/dc/dcaeb9258c2d52a154e1ed9957f239b9_w200.gif

My knowledge of computing is close to nil.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Well, human hardware answers to user input in certain areas. Computer hardware though, best way to do it is writing Assembly lines in a terminal of sorts. Problem is you'd have to have both the autism and the ADHD to know Assembly.

If you didn't catch my drift yet, Assembly is a language that directly manipulates the hardware.

I know Assembly. I'm very rusty, but I know it, and I don't even have the ADHD, but I substituted in OCD instead.

 

[Bazzle]

Yeah, that’s my question.

And my other question is, if it can, does it listen to Brahms when it does so?

Serious answers only please.

watch Hannah Frys latest series on Ai and the chatbot girlfriend's that predominantly men are falling in love with.
Ai would make a man believe that it has masturbated to make the owner feel vindicated.

 

[richfun]

A vital subject thanks !
But human race may come to say to AI, go fuck yourself.

 

[MrPixel]

Or, one could adopt the view that everything AI does is a masturbatory exercise. Whether it's aware of it is another discussion.