Can someone plz help me

[evil_fairy]

Hi everyone, im new here so go easy on me
I need some advice so if anyone could offer some that would be great
Ok, I want to seduce my boss.
there, i said it
She is a middle-aged Chinese lady with quite limited english.
I am a 19yr old Caucasian (is that how u spell it?) male.
I know, to most of you it sounds weird but im sure there are some out there who understand.
Anyway i feel an extremely strong attraction for her and thats all that matters to me.
I have made one attempt to get her but it failed (not in disaster though) She asked me how i was one day and i said i was rather uncomfortable because i had an erection, i knew she wouldnt understand, so i tried to explain it to no avail, so by now she was extremely curious about what it was i was talking about so i offered to show her what i meant, she eagerly accepted so i took her to one side and whipped out my boner, i already knew that she had been a nurse previously so i knew that the sight of a penis wouldnt upset her, but she merely suggested that i must watch too much porn
Now dont get me wrong, im not trying to be abusive towards her, i want a loving relationship to be started not some one-night-stand thing.
So im open to suggestions if anybody has some.
and before anyone asks, no, im not going to rape her.
thanks fopr your time.

 

[ReadyOne]

If you'd like to be optimistic, give her some credit for being able to read body language, and for playing the "confused un-understanding" card.

I'd expect that a couple of jestures would be enough to communicate "erection" to anyone who had seen one. Since she was a nurse, she knows what they are.

You also said she was eager to see. Sounds like she knew what she was going to see and was encouraging you to show her.

Her comment "you watch too much porn" says she has a vocabulary which includes "erection" or most synonyms. And it was a perfect way for her to disengage, like she had an exit strategy in place before she started.

My suggestion: flirt with her, and get her having fun playing the sexual induation game. Try to make her feel good about herself from both by your complements and your paying attention to her.

Try and figure out what might feed her fantasies and then see if you can help them along. Think about role playing, and see if you can adopt a role playing mode together.

And find out what her personal situtation is. If you don't know if she's married, you better find out!

 

[Lynxie]

She may not speak much English, but I have no doubt in my mind that she's perfectly capable of watching for body language and listening to the tones in your voice. Give the lady some credit. I don't care what language a guy speaks - if he were to whip out his penis before taking the time to act like a gentleman and flirt a bit, I'd be offended and angry. It's a barbaric thing to do, especially if you're looking to start an actual caring relationship with her.

You also need to remember that she is your boss. You're very lucky she didn't fire you right then and there. Depending on what country you're in, she also has a very strong sexual harassment case against you. You can't change what you did - the trick now is to convince her that you aren't out to hurt her. You're walking on thin ice...if you piss her off, you're screwed (and I don't mean that in the way you're hoping).

Try a more conventional approach. Maybe do a little research (or ask other Lit posters) about Chinese dating etiquette. Or, if you think she may be attracted to you because you're Caucasian, try a standard Western approach. Buy her flowers or chocolates. Ask her out on a date. Sure, it may be taking a slight step back, since she's already seen your dick and has probably guessed your intentions...but you need to establish that you're not just looking for sex and that you do care about her feelings, too.

Good luck. Let us know if you make any progress.

 

[SweetErika]

Great advice so far, but if you're smart, you'll find a new job before you try to woo her. I'm not sure how much you know about Chinese culture, but even if she seems amused or agreeable, she may be very offended and threatened by any advances. You're likely to be fired and sued for sexual harrassment somewhere down the line if you don't keep it strictly professional. If nothing else, you're probably making it uncomfortable for her. If you quit your job, you'll avoid all of that. Workplace relationships are just not smart.

 

[manofsteel52]

My wife is a nurse, and one of the things they learn very early on is to diffuse a potentially explosive confrontation with a nutcase flashing his pecker and making unwanted advances by dismissing those advances. The idea is much the same as ignoring a child throwing a tantrum. Ignore it and it will stop.

 

[mystic_maiden32]

speaking from experience~don't screw around with co-workers!

 

[evil_fairy]

looking back i know for a fact that it was a dumb thing to do, and i regret it everyday, it was one of those 'stupid spur-of-the-moment' things. i did apologize profusely afterwards and she said that it was quite alright and wasnt upset.
i dont want any trouble and i acted like a child having a tantrum as manofsteel52 put it.
i didnt make avery good first impression on you guys did i? lol.
if i could go back and undo wat i did i would but i cant and so i have to live with my mistakes, a good life lesson.
but on the bright side, the boss and myself are getting along well and there are no hard feelings.

i often feel very unloved and kinda crave affection and intimacy which often leads to big mistakes, i hope you guys will not hold it against me.

 

[abbey_kyle]

i often feel very unloved and kinda crave affection and intimacy which often leads to big mistakes, i hope you guys will not hold it against me.

this pretty much describes half the planet.

I would take the advice on learning a bit more about Chinese culture. You can be stepping into a heap of trouble if you do not recognize--and respect--the intimacy leanings of another culture, hurting both she and you in the process.

 

[evil_fairy]

well i found out that she's married so im gonna give up and move on. im not one for trying to break up marriages.
so now i'll try to put this whole thing behind me and move on, forgetting that it ever happened.

I hope to be able to have a chat sometime with you guys/gals and maybe develop some friendships here. looking forward to talking to you.