Captain Paulie's Argosy...and Fifi's too!

[ariosto]

Paulie gave Harvest Moon a kiss on her cum swathed lips and pinched her nipple.
"Til later, Princess..."
He winked,
"Then it'll be your turn to squeel for me!"

He moved away from the bright camera lights to the wardrobe rack where Estelle was frantically searching for Fifi's Bordello costume.
"Allow me to help m'dear. As an old thespian myself I know the pressure of a fast wardrobe change."
With a few deft motions born of long practice, Paulie had stripped his helpmeet naked and was sucking on her magnificent tits with gusto.

"Excuse me...EXCUSE ME!"
He turned to see a glowering Estelle, her arms full of burgandy satin and white crinolines.
"If ya can't help don't hinder...asshole!"

What a charmer she is!
He thought as he stepped back giving the warddrobe Mistress access to his precious Fifi.
He watched in fascination as Estelle dressed his darling almost as fast as he'd undressed her.

When the bitch bent down to tie Fifi's button top shoes the randy Captain flipped up her tight skirt to reveal what he'd suspected...no panties!
His own cock now fully revived and still wet with spunk slipped fast as a striking snake into the Estelle's tight pussy and she nearly fell off her feet grabbing onto fifi's legs for support!

"What!....WHAT...DO YOU THINK....your...doing...?"
she gasped as Paulie rogered her from behind with hard fast thrusts of his cock.

"Damn I've wanted to do that forever!"
It was Schlong standing next to him, pulling on his telehone pole.
The look in Fifi's eyes as she surveyed the interesting scene was one of wanton desire and wicked lust.

Paulie LOVED situations like this!

 

[mya]

First Paulie’s lips on her nipples, then the sight of Paulie fucking the wardrobe lady Estelle with one swift thrust had Fifi’s libido running rampant. Despite the surprise speed with which Paulie had speared Estelle, it was obvious she was enjoying the right good fucking she was getting. The little tight black Madame’s bustier, now had Fifi’s tits tightly bound, showing her a magnificent cleavage in its best light. Her nipples strained at the material begging for their release. Fifi’s own hands strayed down between her legs, past the garters and into her panties intent on pleasing herself.

However, with the addition of the well endowed Mr. Schlong, Fifi decided to recruit a good man for the job. She beamed a radiant smile at him and crooked her finger to call him over to her while Paulie continued to bang Estelle from behind. Estelle’s own hair had ‘fallen’ from it’s swept style upon her head and now trailed haphazardly around her face as she moaned, "oh yes, fuck me, fuck me…oh god yes!" Schlong needed no other encouragement from Fifi as he hurried to her. From the shadows the Director quietly urged the film crew to silence, gesturing for them to start rolling the film, for he could not have directed a better sex scene had he tried. With the camera’s rolling, Schlong pressed Fifi back on the piano and spread her bent legs with his hands on her knees. He climbed between her spread thighs, while his fingers pushed the skimpy wet panties to the side. He slipped his big cock easily into her slippery tunnel. His hands lifted her tits out above her bustier and he began to knead them as he sawed back and forth between her thighs. He fucked her with long and steady strokes as he pinched her nipples.

Shlong’s foot accidently hit a button on the old player piano and it began to play all by itself. The old time western music filled the room while both couples fucked in time to the music. Fifi watched closely as Estelle came, the grimace on her face telling the truth of her pleasure. Paulie continued to fuck her, his stamina helped by Harvest Moon’s earlier blow job. He could stay hard longer than any man she knew. Finally Fifi’s attention was again captured by the man with the massive cock between her legs. He filled her so full. His length filling her and teasing her engorged clit with each stroke. She rocked her hips in time to his stroking, feeling her own orgasm about to blow. "Oh, oh, oh, oh," she moaned and panted. The music playing on in time to her panting. Then she too began to jerk as she came. "I’mmm commmmming! Ohhhhh god I’m coming!" she squealed as she watched Paulie follow on the heels of her own orgasm. She saw his buns tighten as he unloaded deep inside the mussed wardrobe mistress’s cunt. She blew him a kiss as her own orgasm continued to pummel sweetly through her own body. Just then Schlong raised up, head back and hollered himself, "I’M CUMMMMMMMMING!" as he shot his own load deep into Fifi.

"CUT!" yelled the Director, "That’s a wrap! Great scene everyone, just great!"

 

[ariosto]

Paulie bundled the sexy little missus into the van as soon as the scene was over and Fifi settled back already anticipating a nice warm shower that would wash Schlong's spunk from her body.
The Captain had other ideas though, that became obvious when he drove right by the 'Get Lucky' and aimed the VW towards Canada.
Fifi sat up straight as the neon lights gave way to rugged pine forest on both sides of them.
"Munchkins...why aren't we going to the Hotel. I told Mister Schlong he could have me for breakfast!"

Paulie laughed and pointed to his crotch.
"Because of that!"

She looked. He often rode the roads with a hardon so that wasn't unusual but she had never quite seen him as rampant as this behind the wheel. Did he want a blow job?
Frankly, Fifi was in a bit of a snit at giving up her bath and wasn't feeling like polishing his nob at the moment.

"Big deal."
She crossed her arms over her bountiful bosoms.
"So what."

"Come on sweetie pie, don't be mad. Just feel this thing."

"No."

Always a man of direct action, Paulie grabbed her hand and slapped it on the straining log in his pants.

"OH!"
Fifi had never felt him so hard...or so cold!

"Take it out now hon...you'll be surprised."

Curiosity overcame her petulance and she unzipped his pants.

"Oh Honey!...You've been dipped in gold!"
Her hand slipped around the gleaming phallus and she removed it from his pants.
"Thank's Buttercup, that was damned uncomfortable!"

In her hand she held a 10 inch gold penis with an insription engraved on the testicles.
To Long John Schlong, a lifetime acheivement award from the Academy of Adult Cinema.

"Paulie! It's beautiful!"
She held it up. It seemed to glow in the moonlight.

"It i indeed my sweet, now stuff it somewhere. The border's right ahead and customs can be a bitch."

 

[mya]

Fifi - gets "cold cocked"

"Dammit Paulie! You never give me enough time to deal with these things!" Fifi scrambled as the border crossing gates loomed closer. Should she put the gold penis in her luggage? Maybe under the bed? No, none of those places were safe—the border guards might check there.

"Hurry Sweet Cheeks!" Paulie commanded as he pulled in behind another driver whom the border crossing guards were talking to. Seeing no other options, Fifi hiked the large hard phallus up her skirt, holding it between her thighs. The head of the cock teased her still swollen clit. "Lord have mercy Paulie. This better be quick!" Paulie rolled the van forward for his turn at interrogation.

The guard stepped up to Paulie’s open window. "Hello Sir. Where are you headed?" Paulie answered with a jovial smile upon his face, "I’m taking the Little Missus here on up to the Calgary Stampede for our 2nd honeymoon. We hear y’all put on a good show up here." The guard merely nodded and asked the next question. "Do you have any liquor or cigarettes with you?" Paulie shook his head, "No Sir. I’m proud to say that me and the Missus don’t got those bad habits." One thing for sure, Paulie could play the American tourist with nothing to hide better than anyone Fifi knew. She just stayed quiet and let Paulie do all the talking while the cool cock head continued to excite her. Paulie yakked on answering all the required questions perfectly. The guard took one step back from the VW van and was about to tell Paulie to proceed when from the back of the van, a loud voice called out "NICE ASS!...NICE ASS!"

The guard held up his hand in the universal halt signal and stepped forward again. "Who are you hiding in the van Mr. Piffle! You said you had no one but you and your wife in the van. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to pull over for further investigation. Park over there in the yellow zone." Paulie hurried on, hopeful to save the situation, "No Sir, no one else honest. It’s just my parrot Earl. Let me show you." The guard’s ears perked up. "Parrot? Did you say a parrot Sir?" Paulie nodded his head, certain he’d narrowly escaped a search. The guard continued on, "Mr. Piffle, it’s not legal to bring birds into Canada without the proper paper work and the proper quarantine time! Pull over now!"

"Dammit Paulie," Fifi hissed. "Now what? I got this cold block of cock between my thighs. We’re about to get caught!" Paulie pulled the van over and answered naturally, "Shove that baby up inside you Love. I know you can do it! Show me what you’re made of." Fifi rolled her eyes, leaned way back in her seat and slowly slipped the biggest, hardest, most expensive cock deep into her pussy. She finished just before another guard appeared at her window. He opened her door, and said, "Please step out of the van, and go inside while we check things out". Fifi slipped gingerly down from the van, keeping her legs clamped tight on the base of the trophy in her cunt. Paulie took her arm and helped her as she walked pigeon toed into the Customs Building. She whispered to Paulie, "God Babe, I hope we don’t have to wait her long. I can’t stand it much longer. Damn that Earl for not keeping his beak quiet 30 seconds longer!" Already the cock was teasing her vagina with each step and Fifi was getting turned on again. Her nipples strained at her tight top. Both she and Paulie sat down in the waiting area to wait. Sweat trickled between Fifi’s tits.

 

[ariosto]

"Other than Earl's shrill 'Nice Ass!", "Bend over sweet cheeks" and "Eat mine copper!" all was quiet in the tiny customs station.
Fifi was wiggling most provocatively on the chair next to him and it took all Pauli's will power not to pop open her blouse and have a quick suck.


Finally the handsome young customs official emerged with Earl and their luggage, both of which he dumped unceremoniously at their feet.
"In addition to this endangered avian, Mister Piffle you are attempting to enter Canada with
six personal sidearms, three cases of liquour, 108 cartons of Camel filter cigarettes, several baggies of illicet substances and these...."
On the table he began to stack dozens adult video tapes.

"Well now, I'll admit I should have checked up on regulations first but those films my good man are in the nature of marital aides prescribed by a very reputable sex therapist and also my wife's copy of the film that she recently starred in called..."

"Stow it Piffle...your in deep shit...say what's wrong with her?"

Fifi's eyes had closed and her tits were about to burst through the sweat soaked fabric of her shirt! She was twisting and grinding herself into the leather chair in an entirely suggestive way that had already given the Captain a raging hardon and from the looks of the custom agent's pants was doing the same to him.

"My poor wife has a terrible affliction sir.
When she is in the presence of someone that
sexualy arouses her she looses all control and must that very instant be satisfied fully or she
goes stark raving mad!"

The agent looked at Paulie dubiously.
"It's not ME that arouses her alas...It's you my dear boy. Shall I give her permission to let herself go in your presence?...It's the only humane thing to do."

 

[mya]

Once again, good fortune shone down on the Piffles, this time in the form of a golden phallus. As it wiggled and shimmied deep inside Fifi, making impossible for her to sit still, it also became the very distraction for the Customs Office that the Piffles needed.

Before the Customs Office had had a chance to lay any charges against the Piffles for the list of offenses as long as his arm, he’d been enticed by Fifi’s gyrating and the highly aroused state of her huge nipples as they nearly poked holes in her blouse. Fifi was beyond being able to speak, she merely continued to writhe before both men as Paulie explained her affliction to the young man. She wet her lips as her eyes hungrily focused on his growing erection. She softly began to moan, unable to hold back.

Paulie with his usual aplomb had the young man convinced it was the mere sight of him that had Fifi almost orgasming in her panties without any help from anything. He did not know of the huge metal cock between her legs at this very moment.

Fifi bit her lip to keep from cumming. Paulie’s "It's not ME that arouses her alas...It's you my dear boy. Shall I give her permission to let herself go in your presence?...It's the only humane thing to do." was music to her ears. Fifi had held back almost as long as she possible could. Her eyes met the Officer’s, silently pleading for his release. He unzipped his polyester pants and freed his own massive cock, clamping his own clammy fingers around it and stroking hard and fast. "Yes, yes," he hissed, "make her cum for me!"

Paulie smiled, "I shall not have to make her Dear boy. I’d have had the devil’s own time stopping her." At that point, Paulie did reach over and open Fifi’s blouse and tugging her tits out of her bra. His own fingers claimed one of Fifi’s hardened tips, flicking it softly. The Officer’s eyes ate it up. "Enjoy the show young man…you’ll only make her happier if she sees your spunk fly." With that Paulie focused all his attention on Fifi’s stupendous boobs. His fingers pinched and tugged each nipple in turn. Fifi’s own moans were joined by the young Officer’s. Paulie could resist no longer and bent his head to suckle her nipple…and then proceeded to tug it with his teeth. Fifi cried out. "OH yes…yes. OH fuck yes. Cum for me! Cum with me!" Her own orgasm racked her body. With in moments a ribbon of spunk sailed through the air, landing on the floor between the Piffles and the Custom’s Officer.

He leaned back, recovering from his release as he slipped his spent cock back into his pants. "I’m sure you can understand Mr. Piffle that I can’t possibly let you into Canada with you six personal sidearms, three cases of liquour, 108 cartons of Camel filter cigarettes, and your baggies. You can take one bottle of liquor and one carton of smokes with you. In addition, I’ll look the other way on the movies—as they are prescribed by your doctor and all." He picked up the most recent addition to the stack of movies, the one Fifi and Paulie had had roles in. "Ah, I think this one has not yet been approved for import and shall have to stay in my possession for the time being. And that damn bird that keeps screeching about my ass can go with you too. Just don’t tell anyone it was me who let you through the border with him. Now please get going before one of the other Officers catches on."

With that Paulie helped Fifi back to the van, carrying Earl, the smokes and one bottle of scotch with him. After settling Fifi in her seat, he spread her legs and lovingly removed the golden award from her lovely snatch, stowing it beneath her seat as he kissed her lips passionately. "Nice show my Love, nice show. Now let’s get THIS show back on the road." He hurried around to the driver’s seat, started the engine and moved over the border and into Canada. As Paulie reached the first speed sign that read 100, he put the pedal to the metal and the old VW van lumbered down the road hovering around 80 mph—the best it could do for speed. "Wow wee Fifi, these Canuck’s sure know how to drive! 100 mph! Cool." Somehow, neither Fifi nor Paulie had seen the sign that explained that speed limits in Canada were in km/hr and they were actually speeding down the highway a good 20 mph over the speed limit.

 

[ariosto]

Victoria Mehune was the senior law enforcement officer in the tiny town of Fort Macleod.
Her superior, Stalton Pike had died under mysterious circumstances two years ago. When Mayor
Lawtonbee had called for a new election to replace him he was found suffocated in the trunk of his car and Constable Mehune took over his responsibilities as well.
She appointed two deputies to help her,
Xena Coxhammer, a ravishing six foot amazon with barbed wire tatooed on both arms and Prissy Turnbuckle whose delicate pale beauty veiled a tightly honed body expert in the martial arts.
It was Prissy who gunned her bike from behind the billboard and began chasing the speeding VW.

"SweetCheeks this is Pussy Willow, I have a 'Perp' doing about 100klicks heading your way...over."

Victoria turned the bullwhip, whose handle they'd been using to widen Billy Forbes asshole, over to Xena...
"Finish up will ya...we'll take turns with that later."
'That' was a huge gleaming silver dong about as thick as a beer can.
She rubbed her naked tits over Billy's gagged mouth and then slipped into her tight black uniform blouse...
"Be back in a juffy..."


"We're in trouble again honey."
Fifi looked in the rearview and saw the motorcycle gaining on them.

"BLAST!...I've had just about enough altercations with the law!...How far to Calgary?"
The Captain slammed the pedal to the metal and the specially tuned engine ratcheted up the RPM. By the time they hit the town limits Paulie and company were flying!

The roadblock came as a complete surprise.