Character Introduction

[madelinemasoch]

I am curious as to what might be the best way to “introduce” a main character. By introduce I mean tell the reader most everything about the character. The temptation is to lay it all out in several paragraphs at the beginning. I do, however, think it is likely better to reveal them gradually … bit by bit.

How do you like to do this?

As others have said, we don't need to know most everything about the character. Much better not to tell us.

NEVER lay it all out in several paragraphs at the beginning. It's awful.

If you have something that's absolutely necessary to reveal, do it poetically and in a way that's embedded in either 1. dialogue or 2. action.

 

[HordHolm]

I am curious as to what might be the best way to “introduce” a main character. By introduce I mean tell the reader most everything about the character. The temptation is to lay it all out in several paragraphs at the beginning. I do, however, think it is likely better to reveal them gradually … bit by bit.

How do you like to do this?

Here's a slightly different intro for comparison. It's from something I have going live tomorrow:

Luke Bailey eased his hated Astra off Harefield Road and into the car park, out of the drizzle. He hadn’t beaten the morning park-and-ride rush, and he had to circle for nearly five minutes to find a space, waiting as a young mother loaded her little girl into the safety seat after dropping off the sibling in the pre-school down the street. Finally, he was able to get out and stretch, then reach in and grab his two laptop bags (one with laptop, the other filled with varied reading material, lunch, spare chargers and detritus).

He exhaled heavily and grimaced, blowing off the morning cobwebs as he looked at the silver Astra, with its creaky front suspension as not advertised. However much he didn’t like it, he needed it, an accessory which confirmed who he was, just like the cheap suit and tie, and his hair, which he had been forced to grow from his usual shaved look into something that required shampoo instead of a razor. A month ago, he’d looked like a bad-ass, toned in the gym and even a touch younger than his thirty-three years. Now he looked like nothing more than a drone, a desk warrior, softened by inactivity.

 

[twztdgirl]

“Thanks for the advice and suggestions” she typed into the reply box. Sitting back she took a sip from wine glass and hit Post reply. I have some work to do she thought.

 

[Whanmore]

I am curious as to what might be the best way to “introduce” a main character. By introduce I mean tell the reader most everything about the character. The temptation is to lay it all out in several paragraphs at the beginning. I do, however, think it is likely better to reveal them gradually … bit by bit.

How do you like to do this?

Read examples in mainstream literature. There are so many way to do it but rarely in awesome stories is the info about the main character the most important so its usually not the first thing we see. Its usually setting. Think Opening of Alladin, or Gatsby or the Bible most Authors don't just lay it all out. Snoresville

 

[CockSparrow]

I’ve been a professional writer for almost 65 years.

My first professional editor told me that characters reveal themselves by what they say and do. ‘Get them saying and doing stuff as early in the story as possible,’ he suggested.

It usually works.

 

[ChuckWolf]

Maybe just describing the character's appearance and how they're dressed; that alone might give some clues to the character and their personality.

Things like, unsmiling, girl-next-door, wearing thigh-high boots, long and red nails, always looking at their phone, etc. can be good starts.

 

[SimonDoom]

Read examples in mainstream literature. There are so many way to do it but rarely in awesome stories is the info about the main character the most important so its usually not the first thing we see. Its usually setting. Think Opening of Alladin, or Gatsby or the Bible most Authors don't just lay it all out. Snoresville

I think one of the best pieces of advice you can give a new writer on "how to do something" is to stop trying to figure it out in the abstract and get your hands on some books you like, and see how they actually did it. Being a good reader helps you become a good writer. So, pick some authors you like, pick up one of their books, open it to the first page, and see how they developed their character. Don't copy what they did, but learn from it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Don’t do info dumps is one of those mantras that is often repeated alongside kill your darlings. It’s often not entirely helpful advice. Many great works of literature have info dumps. As ever, it’s how you do it that is important. A skilled writer will be able to let information osmotically flow into the reader’s brain without any discomfort being felt.

 

[cw5523729]

Beginning with "Call me Ishmael" worked for some guy who I think was famous or something.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Why lay it all out in the first few paragraphs?
There is almost never a reason to do that.
Provide the details as they are needed to advance the story. If other descriptors are important to you but don't drive the story (hair color and eye color are two examples, in 99% of stories a character eye color is completely irrelevant) sprinkle them in from time to time. Having another character notice something is a great way to provide the information without turning it into a forced info dump.

"I love that shirt on you Brad, the color really brings out the blue in your eyes."

Or just something that comes up in a conversation to provide back story without being info dumpy.

Brad and Janet had known each other since the 4th grade.

VS

"You'll never believe who I ran into at Target yesterday."
"SimondDooom, world famous erotic writer?"
"Ha, I wish, actually kind of the other end of the spectrum, @twztdgirl."
"Our fourth grade teacher? Wow, what's she up to?"

One challenge many writers have is we create complex back stories for our characters, that helps with plotting and motivations, but how much of it does the reader actually need to know?

 

[Trionyx]

The temptation is to lay it all out in several paragraphs at the beginning.

The fastest way to get me to hit the ‘back’ button.

There are some great suggestions here and I encourage you to follow them. I believe it is best to set a hook with the opening few paragraphs and using snippets of dialogue can do this job well. As the story plays out, those important details of the characters can be added bit by bit.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I've found the smoothest way to do it, is in dialog. Have two people meet and talk. Their character descriptions can be included, and their current situation.

Jason smiled at his beautiful red-haired neighbor. "So, the divorce is final now, eh?"

 

[NaughteeDragon]

If I see a paragraph that starts with “Let me tell you about myself. I’m [height][weight], with a [description of sexual assets]….” I’ve already stopped reading and moved on to another story. Same thing for an exhaustive description of someone else.
Relevant details should come out over the course of the narrative as they become important. Less is more, up to a point, in physical description. Give a very rough framework and let the reader fill in. Standards of beauty vary drastically from reader to reader, so let the reader build their own mental image, just give them a couple of prompts.

Allen stood at the sink and drank a second glass of water, sweat still dripping from him after a basketball game with the guys. He watched through the window as Kailyn led his sister out of the pool. She bent over and squeezed the water from her thick curly hair. The sun glistened on her tanned, athletic form. His heart sped up as he smiled to himself at the thought that she had chosen him.

I don’t say anything else about Kaitlyn’s appearance for over a thousand words. Even then it’s just “her firm tit just filled my hand as I rubbed my thumb over her nipple.” The last description I give about Kaitlyn is at the end of the chapter.

Kaitlyn was halfway through her final set of jump squats when her phone rang. She should grab the phone, it was her father’s ring tone. However, she was not born with the perfect ass, so she had to pay the price. Coming down from her final jump she snatched up the phone. “Hey, Dad.” She stayed squatting as she took deep breaths.

At one point I mention that Allen just finished his sophomore year of college and Kaitlyn and Cecilia just graduated high school. It gives the readers just enough description to act as a framework but lets them fill in what they want to see.

 

[CalBishForNow]

Not to toot my own horn - in fact, the fact that the story I'm thinking of is my first one here makes me doubt how good an example it actually is - but I'm proud of how I did it for the 2024 Halloween contest.

The FMC is putting on a fairly elaborate costume of Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas for a party. The MMC, her boyfriend, is going as Batman. The FMC is not overly concerned with sex or her sexuality at first, but she's finding the costume more revealing than she planned. She's putting a lot of time into the makeup and body paint. Her ability to get lost in the details of imaginary scenarios is an important part of her character later in the story and the series as a whole. The MMC, meanwhile, has picked something more conventional. It's not just off-the-shelf, though. Parts are 3D printed, the belt is functional, and he's blacked out the eye holes. He's able to enjoy experimenting and role-play, but following her lead.

The whole scene is 877 words of detail about putting on costumes, descriptions of them, and dialogue, mostly through the bathroom door. In the middle of it there's five paragraphs of 311 words with no dialogue, just her working on fiddly details of the Sally makeup and description of the dress. I had an overall plot in mind for the story before I started writing, but it didn't include "and the costumes are metaphors for their characters," let alone anything as detailed as it turned out to be.

So to generalize from this: put two characters in the same situation and contrast how they handle it. Put a unique character in a common situation and point out how their approach differs from the "default." Bring up the character's appearance in plot-relevant ways, which was easy in a Halloween story but in another type of story it might not be so front-and-center, or even appear all in one scene at all.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Not to toot my own horn - in fact, the fact that the story I'm thinking of is my first one here makes me doubt how good an example it actually is - but I'm proud of how I did it for the 2024 Halloween contest.

The FMC is putting on a fairly elaborate costume of Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas for a party. The MMC, her boyfriend, is going as Batman. The FMC is not overly concerned with sex or her sexuality at first, but she's finding the costume more revealing than she planned. She's putting a lot of time into the makeup and body paint. Her ability to get lost in the details of imaginary scenarios is an important part of her character later in the story and the series as a whole. The MMC, meanwhile, has picked something more conventional. It's not just off-the-shelf, though. Parts are 3D printed, the belt is functional, and he's blacked out the eye holes. He's able to enjoy experimenting and role-play, but following her lead.

The whole scene is 877 words of detail about putting on costumes, descriptions of them, and dialogue, mostly through the bathroom door. In the middle of it there's five paragraphs of 311 words with no dialogue, just her working on fiddly details of the Sally makeup and description of the dress. I had an overall plot in mind for the story before I started writing, but it didn't include "and the costumes are metaphors for their characters," let alone anything as detailed as it turned out to be.

So to generalize from this: put two characters in the same situation and contrast how they handle it. Put a unique character in a common situation and point out how their approach differs from the "default." Bring up the character's appearance in plot-relevant ways, which was easy in a Halloween story but in another type of story it might not be so front-and-center, or even appear all in one scene at all.

Great example, with one caveat, if you can't bring up those details in plot relevant ways as you suggested, then the details themselves aren't plot relevant. Leave them out.

 

[redgarters]

Show, don't tell.

Yes, this

 

[Britva415]

Many great works of literature have info dumps

I really think that it's fair to say they're great despite the info dumps. The info dumps aren't what made them great.

I think the takeaway here is that a great author can successfully get away with infodumping, but infodumping doesn't make one a good writer.

 

[StillStunned]

I really think that it's fair to say they're great despite the info dumps. The info dumps aren't what made them great.

I think the takeaway here is that a great author can successfully get away with infodumping, but infodumping doesn't make one a good writer.

Audiences change. Attention spans change. Many of the great novels were written in times when readers didn't have as many distractions as there are now. I myself read quite a few books in the 1980s and 1990s because there simply wasn't anything better to do.

That said, I think it takes more skill to provide the same information but in a way that makes it feel organic to the story, and doesn't make the reader's eyes glaze over.

 

[Britva415]

I am curious as to what might be the best way to “introduce” a main character. By introduce I mean tell the reader most everything about the character. The temptation is to lay it all out in several paragraphs at the beginning.

by “everything” I mean everything that is important for the reader to know the character.

Why is any particular detail important for the reader to know?

When is it important for them to know it?

If it's important, very often it can be revealed at the exact moment when it becomes important for the reader to know. No sooner.

Other times it can be important to be revealed earlier, but, it still can be revealed in a way which is related to earlier plot beats and not in a way which is infodump.

The author's job is to make it relevant to the moment in which it is revealed. I think infodump is defined as dumping info irrelevantly. If it isn't relevant until later, then it isn't relevant now, that's the problem.

 

[crookedletter]

Go ahead and write it all out at the beginning. Having it there might help you move forward with all the relevant details and backstory in mind, have it inform everything that comes after.

And then do yourself and your readers a favor, and... delete it.

 

[HelenL]

I'm with AllenWoody on this one. This seems like too strong a dose of Stephenson-speak for me to start a story. I'd prefer to see an exciting description of Bud skating, with the backstory on how he achieved it woven in later. I get tired of Stephenson's need to immerse us in technical explanations of everything. One of the things I liked about Snow Crash is that we could read about the fun effects of the technology without having it overdescribed to us. Since that book he's been much more indulgent--overindulgent, I think--in technological mumbo jumbo. But then, I'm not a technical person by background.

You mean a five page dissertation on eating Cap'n Crunch isn't your thing?

 

[Djmac1031]

When I introduce a male main character I always start with his ass

So, what, they enter the room backwards, or... ?

 

[al55]

Wow, this thread is awesome, thanks OP for thinking of this question. I've seen many great suggestions here.

 

[Djmac1031]

There's obviously been quite a few opinions / suggestions already but:

It depends on how exactly you're telling the story.

If you're telling it in Third Person, then sure, the Narrator can sprinkle in backstory to a character, things from their past etc, where relevant.

If writing in First Person, which I do a lot, I like to think of things being revealed in the same way it happens in real life.

Say you meet someone for the first time. You dont immediately learn everything about them, their entire history etc. You learn about them as you get to know them.

So the first thing you might note is the obvious: their physical appearance. Then you start decerning their personality as you interact with them... quiet, shy, friendly, loud, funny, obnoxious, whatever.

The more time you spend, the more you learn. They just came from work or school. They were late because they were stuck in traffic, or their boss made them work overtime, or they got in an argument with a spouse or family member or...


The best stories to me revealed these kinds of details where they fit. And even better, omit them when theyre not needed. Telling us a character works at an office is fine. Six paragraphs on exactly what they do all day, or even just several sentences, when it has no real relevance to the plot, is unnecessary.

As the author, pick and choose what is most important about your character to let your readers know. Then decide when and where in the story these details should be revealed.