Cheesy pick up lines

[LincolnDuncan]

I've been getting a lot of action at Trump rallies. I wear my MAGA hat. I tell the ladies, hey that Trump, what a real man! After that you can grab them by the cooch and say any stupid thing that comes to mind.

 

[Kirkrapine]

I sell black-market livers in Hong Kong and kidneys in Singapore, but I only have eyes for you!

 

[CandiCame]

I will say normal shit in the stupidest or craziest way possible, or give just waaaaay too much information, and for some reason that I don't understand, that works.

The night I met my now live-in gf I asked if she wanted to come back to my secluded shack in the middle of the woods. When we got there she was all, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING THIS PLACE IS ACTUALLY SCARY!"

Like... no bitch, what it says on the tin.

In college I would just walk up to people and be like, "Hey I'm Candi, wanna fuck?"

And because I ran in CERTAIN circles, I had a reputation of being the "Well you ought to try it at least once" that just kind of worked.

Also, one time this chick was telling me about her ex that she had JUST broken up with like, at that same party that same night, and she said something like, "I bet he already misses me."

And I was like, "My ex misses me, too, but her aim is getting better." Not to be witty but because I was SUPER drunk and legitimately misunderstood what she said, but she thought it was funny as shit so I went with it.

I do that a lot. Sometimes I'm stupid, so I say stupid shit, but it's so stupid that had you said it ironically it would loop back around and be witty.

When I met my bf, he picked me up, and he came up to me and asked how old I was- like apropo of nothing. I had known him a little bit before that, like had known him around, but he came up and asked me that. And I told him how old I was at the time, and he said, "Oh, I thought you were like 300. I thought you were immortal."

And it was just... really sweet. That's pretty cheezy. He hit me with the old fallen angel line, too. That same night.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Do you sing it?

Only sing in the shower .

But I have Spun records for many years starting in the 80s where I used to blurt out the words of the tunes as they were spinning.

And if you still refer to words like Spinning records or pressed vinyl, that should let you know that I am getting F.....g old!



Shameless plug warning; my first story was published TODAY actually.

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=4127124&page=submissions

 

[Vitriolhack]

Do you sing it?

Only in the shower, preferably not alone!

 

[Libsam]

Hey, babe, I gotta know, are you gonna go my whey?

 

[Libsam]

I got some stank under this moldy rind for you to bury your face in!

 

[Cleanphil]

Sometimes this works

Last time I met a girl like you, she gave GREAT head!

 

[Kirkrapine]

I have a penis with your name on it.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Do you sing it?

Sadly, not well!