coming back to life

[FindingFire]

Bigbrit,

I've always been to independent to be co-dependent. That is something that the eX's had issue with, they needed to be the white knight in shining armor. Not needing them for every little thing was hard on them and feigning helplessness at times for their benefit was demoralizing to me.

You are however very dead on on the journey and the hills and valleys traversed.

Kids? I've had and raised my kids and am now a grandma. I've no desire to further contribute to the gene pool so no worries there.

I guess the part of the difficulty is the fear of opening my heart to another man that isn't strong enough to handle my strength.

 

[bigbritish]

Bigbrit,

I've always been to independent to be co-dependent. That is something that the eX's had issue with, they needed to be the white knight in shining armor. Not needing them for every little thing was hard on them and feigning helplessness at times for their benefit was demoralizing to me.

You are however very dead on on the journey and the hills and valleys traversed.

Kids? I've had and raised my kids and am now a grandma. I've no desire to further contribute to the gene pool so no worries there.

I guess the part of the difficulty is the fear of opening my heart to another man that isn't strong enough to handle my strength.

you and me both, but EoD -- yea most men are gonna wanna be knights lol.

forget the love thing. you just want a companion and you've gotten over the kids hump?? sheesh. i need to get my kids hump taken care of lol.

men are strong, just in different ways that society nowadays doesn't value much. it's the reason in many respects for the number of divorces. as one of the first families (my parents) to be part of the divorce wave, i feel qualified as an authority on the matter!

speaking based on my experience as your opposite gender, figure out what you even want out of a guy. don't tattoo the picture with all kinds circumstantial crap, just what need of yours he realistically can fulfill.

i dunno i must look like a pretty damn attractive guy, but i try not to lower my standards for the sake of a conversation, so i talk and form relationships with surprisingly few people.

my remedy: help others. i'm kinda stoked that i'll be volunteering my time to help teach youth computer programming.

not sexually daring enough? goto vegas. all bad behavior stays in vegas lol

hope that wasn't too presumptuous on my part or TMI, don't truthfully know how much 15 years puts you at a wisdom advantage

 

[LivingRnd3]

There is a lot of great advice here, will take some myself. I just want to share hope. I've been through the same scenario, figured I was destined to be on my own. Moved back to my hometown and hung out with a high school crush a few times. There was always some chemistry. We were just going to enjoy friends with benefits for the summer. Turns out we are helping each other heal in wonderful ways. He's still here in Nov.
Just leave the door open and find the trust.

 

[FindingFire]

OMG, AN UPDATE!!!

Well all these months later I have an update.

Several more dates and finally met a man that is at least half normal.

We've "done the deed" a couple of times over a weekend. While there was no fireworks in the sacks, there's definitely potential.

He's significantly older than me (12years) and is easily pleased. Now to just teach him now to best please me.

I'll be seeing him again this weekend and will begin his schooling.

 

[FGB]

SOB I'm drunk.

I'm not writing all five of those words of wisdom sentences again tonight

Turkey 101 will kick some ass.

New computer did not have I SPELL installed yet and I lost all my text.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

if youre hungry enough youll eat a dog, so don't get THAT hungry.

 

[FGB]

OK then, you already have the feet wet just don't get in over your head.

Moderation in all things. You have received some very good advice here so I'm not going to say much.

Just don't get your wants and needs mixed up and don't confuse Lust with Love.

One day at the time.

 

[GorgeousGeekGirl]

So I went out to a local bar last night with one of the girls. Unfortunately it seemed like it was romper room night with all the pups around. Had one trailing me all evening. Too young to be flattering or even spark and interest in me.

Strike one.

I live in a small town. Amish buggies drive past my house daily. This small town shit sucks.

Well, after watching Amish Mafia, you should be able to find one of Levi's parties with a drunk horny Amish guy. They do a lot of manual labor so he would have lots if stamina

But seriously, if every time you get to second base you balk, that's your gut telling you it ain't right. Go with your gut. Since you are a bit older, this means older men. Guys your age will be tired of whiny bitter single mothers who hop in the sack hoping to find a baby daddy. That you are older but not desperate does mean you will wait longer (lots of guys take free samples from desperate single mothers), but you'll get something better. In the meantime, focus on opening up your life; join clubs, volunteer, go to functions. If you want to do some man shopping, go to local hardware store and look for classes or small home improvement projects, like repainting etc. guys live women who go outside of their comfort zone and try new things