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Confessions.

RawHumor said:
There is no person called Garnate.

"She" is my alt. Sometimes I push my moobs together to make it look like I have cleavage, and I play with make-up and LOTS of lighting and filtering.

You wouldn't believe how many guys I've cybered with.

Now I'm only looking for girl-girl cyber.

Sorry, boys.
Click to expand...

Woot!

I mean, theoretically, anyway.
 
RawHumor said:
There is no person called Garnate.

"She" is my alt. Sometimes I push my moobs together to make it look like I have cleavage, and I play with make-up and LOTS of lighting and filtering.

You wouldn't believe how many guys I've cybered with.

Now I'm only looking for girl-girl cyber.

Sorry, boys.
Click to expand...

There is at least a few guys weeping with this news. You have some sexy moobs, baby. Did I mention I'm looking for a sixth husband?
 
The Greek said:
There you go squawking to the whole board again about our oil and butter kink.


Geez... :mad:
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That was only after you got me drunk on fermented berries. They're fine, you said. Don't worry, you said. Then I wind up covered in oil and butter. You want to give me a heart attack.
 
parodyluvr75 said:
That was only after you got me drunk on fermented berries. They're fine, you said. Don't worry, you said. Then I wind up covered in oil and butter. You want to give me a heart attack.
Click to expand...

I just remember you repeatedly squawking out "Do me birdy style, my Foghorn Leghorn" :eek:
 
parodyluvr75 said:
I have five husbands. I've had sex with dozen upon dozens of GBers, using full body rubbers, of course. I put on my parrot costume and squawk the entire time. My lovers cover me in butter or olive oil. My one husband George doesn't know about lit or remarkably the other four husbands, even though we all live in the same house. He's always been a little thick. Don't tell my wife LTR, she already thinks I'm a hussy. I'm a bad bad bird.

Luv,

Birdy
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I confess I'm one of Birdy's husbands. All of the pics I post? Some random chick I picked up at Wal-Mart and now keep in the basement.
 
Girl Smiley scares me.

I think it's that duck, the way it's bouncing about like it's desperate for a shit and looking far and wide for someone to dump on. It's only a matter of time before it spots me.

I don't sleep at night any more.

And I want to do bad things to Ms Snooby pants and Butters and ....
 
Last edited:
Lancecastor said:
I am Bobby Ewing.
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That explains a lot, I thought I saw you in my shower.
Mischka said:
I confess I'm one of Birdy's husbands. All of the pics I post? Some random chick I picked up at Wal-Mart and now keep in the basement.
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You're my favorite husband, by far the most attractive, and you're the most sexually potent. Don't tell the others, you know how insecure they are.

I moved her upstairs, dear. She said that she was tired of the basement. Since husband five is moving out, I gave her his room. Hope that's ok.
Mad_Jack_Rabbit said:
Girl Smiley scares me.

I think it's that duck, the way it's bouncing about like it's desperate for a shit and looking far and wide for someone to dump on. It's only a matter of time before it spots me.

I don't sleep at night any more.

And I want to do bad things to Ms Snooby pants and Butters and ....
Click to expand...

To be honest, I hear she is well armed and a good hunter. Also she's mentioned you several times in passing, make of that what you will.

Who is Miss Snooby pants? Everybody wants Butters!
 
I must confess, I'm not a cat.

My real name is Yoda, and I'm Hungarian and kick your ass with lazerblades.

Igen, Igen !
 
PoppingTom said:
I must confess, I'm not a cat.

My real name is Yoda, and I'm Hungarian and kick your ass with lazerblades.

Igen, Igen !
Click to expand...

But you post cat pictures, you have been stealing some cats pictures. :mad:

I feel duped, but can I play with your lazerblades?
 
parodyluvr75 said:
You're my favorite husband, by far the most attractive, and you're the most sexually potent. Don't tell the others, you know how insecure they are.

I moved her upstairs, dear. She said that she was tired of the basement. Since husband five is moving out, I gave her his room. Hope that's ok.
Click to expand...


:mad::mad::mad:
 
I'm one of the few people on this board with a "real life" relationship with Laurel.

Okay, '"real life" relationship' is a bit of a stretch, we only met for lunch exactly once, but it was an enjoyable lunch nonetheless, albeit with a touch of awkwardness at the end (not unlike, say, a Queerbait first date).

We'd spent an hour solving the world's problems, i.e. overseas charities, Christian fundamentalism, Eyer's mental illness, Manu's erectile dysfunction, etc. (kidding on the last one, I swear!)

The awkwardness came at the very end, in the parking lot. I leaned down to give her an affectionate peck on the cheek, as is altogether fitting for a beloved board moderator and one of her alltime favorite posters. Fate intervened, though, she thought I was trying to whisper something to her and turned her head towards me at the last possible moment.

Our lips met.

Now, in romance novels and bodice rippers, this is described in poetic, rhapsodic detail. In real life, however, there was this thing called "static electricity". Yes, the cold weather and static buildup made for quite an electrifying "first kiss".

It went downhill from there....

She jerked back, I jerked back. When she jerked back, her left elbow flew up reflexively. Her elbow would have continued its violent upward trajectory had my crotch not been there to slow it down.

The impact of her sharp elbow into my pride-n-joy was gut-wrenching. Literally. I'd had crab gumbo for lunch, and the sudden jolt, which left me damned near cross-eyed in agony, seemed to convince the gumbo that perhaps my stomach was not where it wanted to be.

I vaguely recall my mind shutting down and autonomous emergency reflexes triggering. I distinctly recall putting my hands on my knees, wheezing "IWillNotPukeOnLaurel, IWillNotPukeOnLaurel" as something of a mantra.

I have no conscious memory of leaving her. The next thing I recall is being back in my hotel room at 3 pm watching Spectravision porn.

Laurel has stated since then that she doesn't meet anyone on the board due to a single "less than pleasant" experience she had years ago.

That was me. I ruined it for the rest of you. I am deeply shamed.

And now you know........the rrrrrrrrest of the story.
 
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